I Called In Sick Today

[El Guapo 8]

Actually, it's "poontang."

No, we are actually all wrong it's Pootie Tang.

[beans-n-icewater 18]

If I'm at a buffet, it's "half-a-plate for pleasure, then eat only the most expensive item to make sure nobody profits."

During the buffet promotion at the Wynn I dumped fifteen full plates of food in the trash before sitting down...I wouldve felt bad for wasting food if it had actually been edible

Also Wang... don't listen to Beans. This stuff is very fun/interesting to talk about. Keep it up.

Oh, I find it very interesting....Until Wang came into my life the two most commonly discussed subjects about women in my group of friends was 1) Meh.... I got rid of the bitch2) She sure can suck a dick and her ole mans got cash....otherwise shed be outta here

This is true.

Admitting you need a problem is the first step

[strategy 4]

I deposited 3100 today with no questions. Do you bank with Wells Fargo or something?

OH LOOK AT YOU MR. I HAVE $3100I LEFT OFF THAT I WAS TRYING TO GET IT ON STARS

[Poppy_Hillis 11]

Guap, you see the video of Shaq trying to break the world record for most ft's blindfolded in a minute? I guarantee I would break that record if I tried.

[loogie 115]

Guap, you see the video of Shaq trying to break the world record for most ft's blindfolded in a minute? I guarantee I would break that record if I tried.

You have better things to do?

[El Guapo 8]

Guap, you see the video of Shaq trying to break the world record for most ft's blindfolded in a minute? I guarantee I would break that record if I tried.

No, between going to see my grandpa, valentines, kids b-day and other stuff I only saw a couple minutes of highlights from the whole All Start weekend.PM me a link if you got it. I did see his between the legs back door dunk thingy that people got way too excited over.

[WageSlave 0]

No, between going to see my grandpa, valentines, kids b-day and other stuff I only saw a couple minutes of highlights from the whole All Start weekend.PM me a link if you got it. I did see his between the legs back door dunk thingy that people got way too excited over.

The most excited I got watching the dunk contest was when Spud Webb competed. Mostly because he was a midget by NBA standards.

[mk 11]

I know you actually didn't, but I really wanted an excuse to say: "Don't ever badmouth synergy"Again, pretty loose connection but you gave me an excuse to post that I'm off to L.U.N.C.H. I hope somebody gets either one of these

i get neither, but i'ma guess they're both from television because i haven't watched the invention called television on which they show shows since the show arrested development went off the air.however, i will continue to post random nonsense in the hope that you will be able to reference something that amuses you which, in turn, might cause you to post more often in this thread.the spanish armadathe board game girl talkthe number 73the man thich nhat hahn---maybe it's because my gf is a vegetarian which pretty much makes me a vegetarian, but i do love a good burger, and i am craving red meat like THE DICKENS, something which rarely occurs. what's wrong with me?

[Quacktastic 106]

There are a lot of dimensions of intelligence, some of which I score quite high in (logic, reading, communication) and some of which I score in the bottom 1% of all humans (ability to orient myself in space; I took an IQ test once that had a spatial intelligence section, and they made me retake it because my results were worse than developmentally disabled kids). When I use intelligence here, I think I mean the standard, raw intelligence (or highly correlative g-factor). People can be interesting without being smart, and can be smart without being interesting (or adaptive).That's why intelligence is only weighted at 15%. It's nice to have somebody that understands stuff, but I'd rather a girl have the personality trait of "appreciates intellectual-type shit." I think your brother-in-law'ss intelligence gave him the ability to develop a more palatable personality, but that doesn't change the fact that it's the expression of his personality that makes him likable, and NOT his intelligence. Nobody cares HOW your brother-in-law became the life of the party, they simply appreciate that he is. As far as your brother-in-law goes, I sympathize. I was (and I'm sure I've said this before) the biggest dork in history in middle-school and early highschool. Sometime around 10th grade I started trying to develop, you know, a fucking personality. Actually, it was more "discover" than "develop," since the latter implies I created it from whole cloth, and that it's not sincere. I missed some stuff in my development -- how to relate on a romantic level with women, particularly -- but by the time I was in college, I think I would have been described as "charismatic" by people who are poor judges of character.

Speaking of brother-in-laws, tune in tomorrow at 8:30/7:30 Central when a guest star appears on Gary Unmarried as Jay Mohr's, you guessed it, EX brother-in-law.Hilarity...will...ensue

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

well as long as the new kind work with old toilets I guess I'll just get the new kind. I'd imagine it's better in some way, and since they're only like $22 for the whole kit it seems then I might as well. I was really surprised at how cheap they are. now to just figure out how to do it (or to con my plumber buddy into doing it for me).

i just did a rebuild with a fluidmaster kit last weekend. it had been a while but i swear no other toilet i've repaired has ever told me to put washers and nuts on the tank bolts between the tank and the base. also, the kit didn't say i'd need a pipe wrench, but i did, and i couldn't find mine. pain in the buttocks imo. yes, there were definately some left over parts, but three cheers for fluidmaster and a non-constant flow toilet...

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

He's gone.

never liked him anyways

As long as it's not over a buck thirty for women.HEYOOO!!!!

i snortedi love wang(nononono, i mean)i love Wang(hmmm, still pretty gay)you write funny stories, bear(goddamit, still gay)HAHAHAHA, TACTICAL

[beans-n-icewater 18]

i just did a rebuild with a fluidmaster kit last weekend. it had been a while but i swear no other toilet i've repaired has ever told me to put washers and nuts on the tank bolts between the tank and the base. also, the kit didn't say i'd need a pipe wrench, but i did, and i couldn't find mine. pain in the buttocks imo. yes, there were definately some left over parts, but three cheers for fluidmaster and a non-constant flow toilet...

Several years back I bought a semi load of cheap mexican shitters to use in a guys apartment complex I couldnt stand....Gave about thirty bucks apiece for them.... the brand name was Corona if you can believe thatAnyway, I stopped by one day to check on the crew installing them and they were putting an extra nut and washer between the tank and bowlThey claimed the instructions told them to do so....No strip club lunch that day for sureThe tank to bowl gasket couldnt compress all the way down into the recess with the extra space used by the nutsIm guessing the nuts holding the tank to the bowl were wing nuts?editI googled corona toilets to see if they still made those things and ran across thisI guess they still work just as good now

[Sal Paradise 57]

2) She sure can suck a dick and her ole mans got cash....otherwise shed be outta here

so how has shane been anyways?

[beans-n-icewater 18]

I absolutely have to track this guy down and team him up with Shane....Shitter tester

[Sal Paradise 57]

yeah I'm actually surprised it took this long for my face to end up in that picture

[El Guapo 8]

yeah I'm actually surprised it took this long for my face to end up in that picture

Well it makes zero sense if you really think about it. Neither of those women are pregnant, have young children or have been pregnant recently. It really only works from a fantasy world standpoint.

[beans-n-icewater 18]

so how has shane been anyways?

Its good to know that Ive been around long enough to refer to someone without mentioning any names.......and make a joke about depositing money without being taken seriously Hes on the speakerphone right now laughing at the shitter tester vids with me. Its even funnier if you were involved in installing a bunch of those junkers

[beans-n-icewater 18]

yeah I'm actually surprised it took this long for my face to end up in that picture

I just did it temporarily for ouchie to see....

"How did you get this idea?""I just thought about it...."

[Dawson Leery 12]

if a company wants to increase its current ratio when it closes its books next week, which one of the following actions will have the desired effect?a. payment of current payables with cashb. sale of short-term investments for cashc. write-down of overvalued assets (asset will be written down and an income statement loss incurred)d. delay payment of the next payroll until after the current period books have been closed

Edit 2: Yeah yeah, I vaguely remembered posting last night so I came on to check if I did and I saw strat had a question that I could maybe help with. Also, as best as I can remember, I was not throwing popcorn at the dude. Although I wish I had been.Edit 3: I think A is the answerSay you had $90 in CA and 60 in CL. CR = 1.5 Say you use $10 to pay off a bill, now you have $80 in CA and $50 in CL. CR = 1.6 imo. Although this doesn't work if you have more CL than CA, but if that's the case, you have more to worry about than your current ratio AMIRITE?Answer A.B. Wouldn't change anything because both are considered CA's (unless you can sell the assets for more than book value, but, meh, to much inference)C. Doesn't make sense to me. Would just lower the CR if anything.D. Wouldn't change anything because it'd still be a CL, I think.

I'm so gay I got excited when I saw an accounting question, then realized it was from 2 days ago and had already been answered. I'll add that D would do the opposite of what you want.

so you agree that the question is retarded, then. I'll go with C. it's an accounting class for finance majors. this stuff has real-life implications for me but questions like that don't test it in a real world kind of way.

I agree that you'll never be asked a question like that in the real world, but you should be able to know how changes in assets and liabilities affect different ratios and financial statements without really thinking about it.

that accounting question really makes me want to go back to school.

You know I'm in

question for the accountants/business people of this thread: which do you think would be more advantageous to obtain, a CPA certification or an MBA? I've been looking into both, and it seems like I would have to go back to school for the same amount of time for both and they would both cost about the same. which one would open the most doors/have the higher salary?

MBA to become CPA eligible, then you have the option of both. I don't really know what you would do with a CPA after getting an MBA with work experience though, I guess go into corporate accounting/controller position. If you did pretty well at a college that you say is pretty good (other colleges should know this even though NO GIRLS ever will) and score well on the GMATs you should be fine.Here's another article about old people getting MBAs:http://www.businessweek.com/bschools/conte...ge_the+mba+lifeLife for Dawson has been pretty much the same as always, except less fruitful in the stuffing department than it was in college. Apparently girls in the real world want "mature" guys who "don't black out 3 nights a week" and want to "hang out sober" and "know their names" and haven't "hooked up with their friends"...it sucks.

[strategy 4]

you suck dawson

[loogie 115]

You know what doesn't suck? Purdue Basketball!!!

[LadyGrey 6]

I just caught the end of RuPaul's "Drag Race" on vh1 by accident. I cannot believe I have been coexisting in the world with this amazing example of televisual entertainment, and we have never come into contact until today. It is FAB - U - LOUS *double snaps*

[speedz99 145]

To the entirety of the sick thread, except strat, thank you for making me laugh during some crappy days.

schrute

Also: she is watching me type this.

Awesome. See, unlike everyone else, I'm not as interested in you (since I know you a bit) as I am in the women you date. All I want to know is her reaction to the fact that you were discussing this kind of thing (in direct relation to your current thing with her) on a poker forum.

IMy brother-in-law is very smart. In high school, he scored a 36 on his ACT and got accepted to MIT for electrical engineering, but he was very shy and awkward socially. In 10th grade he decided that his life would suck if he didn't change this about himself. So every weekend he drove to towns that were at least 30 miles from his home town and just hang out with the kids in the square or wherever the kids were. He did this for 2 years without anyone from his school knowing. Once he went to college he was the life of the party.

That's pretty great.

[Poppy_Hillis 11]

You have better things to do?

What's better than breaking records. And it should only take 30 mins tops.

I just caught the end of RuPaul's "Drag Race" on vh1 by accident. I cannot believe I have been coexisting in the world with this amazing example of televisual entertainment, and we have never come into contact until today. It is FAB - U - LOUS *double snaps*

Rupaul went to my high school.

[hank213 1,823]

I really must be easily amused. I was watching tv and a PSA about black history month came on but was interrupted halfway through by a KFC ad and I giggled quite a bit.Good work today folks.