LadyGrey 6 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 "Former Cary Ballet Conservatory alumni Ashley Last Name Redacted is now the Showcase Director of THE PULSE - a touring dance convention featuring world renowned choreographers Mia Michaels, Brian Friedman, Wade Robson, Laurie Ann Gibson, Shane Sparks, Cris Judd & Dave Scott. After her CBC education,She's kinda cute but definitely seems like a trainwreck.p.s. is she a natural blonde? Seems fake to me but as a brunette I can't tell for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Quacktastic 106 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 The internet is a scary place...Edit: LG, aren't the dark eyebrows a usual giveaway to a dye job? Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,752 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 She's kinda cute but definitely seems like a trainwreck.p.s. is she a natural blonde? Seems fake to me but as a brunette I can't tell for sure.This picture isn't doing her any favors. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 6 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 The internet is a scary place...Edit: LG, aren't the dark eyebrows a usual giveaway to a dye job?Well some fair-haired girls have such fair eyebrows that it looks weird, so they fill them in with an eyebrow pencil. That could be what she does. Her eyebrows aren't as dark as mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Quacktastic 106 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 This picture isn't doing her any favors.Now I'm not an attractive guy by any means, but that is a pretty unflattering picture all around. Link to post Share on other sites
WageSlave 0 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Now I'm not an attractive guy by any means, but that is a pretty unflattering picture all around.maybe it's the glassy, bloodshot eyes but I'd willingly have relations with it. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 6 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Now I'm not an attractive guy by any means, but that is a pretty unflattering picture all around.I thought it was better than the others, in that it isn't ridic overcontrasted and it's a clear shot of her face. I guess I appreciate the way she isn't wearing much make-up, so I think she looks good in that picture. It's a nice, natural look. Link to post Share on other sites
Voldemort 0 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I will not be making any DVDs. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 ok, I really like this picture of her. after thinking about it, I know why.quite similar in my opinion. at least in that picture. Link to post Share on other sites
Quacktastic 106 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 quite similar in my opinion. at least in that picture.I can see it... Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 6 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 That pic of Sarah Chalke is a great example of how women's boobs look like cow's udders when they bend over. When you think about it, boobs and udders are the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
beans-n-icewater 18 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 that's our beans!I think Im ready to go one on one with ya at chainsawing...The last two days have been nothing but bar oil, pre-mix, and sawdustIve also had a fire going that you can see from the top of your basketball goalthat is fkn awesome!!! bravo sir!!!!Thanks, sir...Ill wait a few days and tell the one about the idiot pharmacy assistant who pissed me off in the drive thru todayI blocked the entrance for twenty minutes and made him come outside to assist the customers while I drank beerI blame the anger on listening to Def Lep.ARMAGEDDON IT!BEANS: um, do they no longer make normal toilet fixing things? what the hell happened to a regular ballcock and flapper and stuff?They should still sell the antique stuff at Lowes....Look for Korky brand flappers that are red in color. A Fluidmaster 400A is a direct replacement for any ballcock unless yours is autographed by Abe Lincoln or something Link to post Share on other sites
Tactical Bear 3 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I would just like to say that this went in the exact direction I was hoping it would when I posted that bio from the Conservatory. I was really hoping LadyGrey would get there first, but it really doesn't matter. Very, very well done, guys. and also, wang, yeah, how do you do it? if I tried to talk to that girl she would laugh in my face.Here is, to the best of my recollection, how I made this girl fall in love with me. You will note it is mostly me just doing nothing and her having low standards. Freshman year: My friend Brian was trying to date Jane, who was friends with Ashley. The first time I met Ashley was at a frat party. I think I accidentally ended up as Brian's wingman, so I basically had to talk to Ashley. She was a total bitch. Wang: "So you ever seen the inside of a dorm room?" Ashley: "..." Wang: "Oooookay." Ashley: (looking around) Wang: "Alright, nothing is worth this. It was a pleasure to meet you, Ashley." A few weeks later she actually ended up at my dorm room with Jane during a Thursday night drink-fest at my West Quad triple. A girl named Sarah passed out with her head in my lap, and I looked to Ashley with pleading eyes for help. She was disgusted. Sophomore year Somehow, she started hanging out with all of us at the Beta Omega Chi (BOX, our fake frat) gatherings on a regular basis. We were never particularly friendly or unfriendly. On night we played a game of beer pong together and held the table for hours. She was blackout drunk, so I walked her home, and carried her into her bed. I left aspirin and a glass of water on her bedside table, as well as a blank check with the note "FOR SEX" and a note that said, "I am going to tell everybody that we did it. Fill this in for whatever you think that should cost me." We started hanging out at parties pretty regularly, and I always made her laugh. Around Christmastime, a girl I'd taken out once or twice was at my house, as well as my Indian friend Neeraj, Ashley, Janet, and Brian. We were all wasted. I was focusing all of my attention on the other girl (from here on in: Shelly). Shelly stayed the night (and became my College Girlfriend) and somebody told me the next morning that Smashley was acting jealous. I start dating Shelly, and Smashley starts stopping by during the week to hangout late at night on her way back from or to the library. We got kinda close, in that she confided in me, and I gave her love-life advice. Apparently she'd never had a guy-friend that didn't just try to sleep with her. I just thought we were friends. In February, I had some people over while my girlfriend was out of town, and Smashley pulled me out onto the porch, and we had this conversation (which shall forever be burned into my brain): Smashley: "Why don't you like me?" Wang: "You know I like you, Smash." Smashley: "Don't you think I'm pretty?" Wang: "You're beautiful." Smashley: "So... who do you like more? Shelly? Or... [grabs Wang's crotch] me?" Wang: [removes hand from crotch] "My girlfriend. Sorry." She called me the next day and apologized, said she was really fucked up and that somebody had to tell her what happened. I asked her if that's how she really felt, and she said that she was just confusing our friendship with romantic feelings. She was actually quite convincing. At one point she said, "You know how slutty I get when I drink. I think it's just weird for me that you could have fooled around with me tons of times when I was all drunk but didn't. I think it makes me feel inadequate or something, even though you're just nice." Things go on as they were, until about early April. I had a party at my house. Ashley drank a bottle of rum in an hour, stared daggers at my girlfriend, and then told one of my friends that she was in love with me. Me? Really? I must be very funny or something. The next time I saw her, I walked her home and we talked about all that stuff. I pretty much told her that, in a different world, I would be very into her, but I was with somebody, and I wanted to give that a shot. She asked me if I wanted to come up, and I told her that I absolutely did want to, but I never would. She still wanted to be friends, and so we were. A few days later my girlfriend broke up with me. When Smashley heard about it, she came over to my house with a bottle of Vodka. We got drunk in my living room with my housemates. She went to the bathroom upstairs, then called my cell phone and said, "Hey, can you come up here really quick?" She was naked in my bed. Within a few weeks she had gone completely and totally insane, and started trying to ruin my life. Until yesterday, I hadn't had a substantive conversation with her since. She still talks way too much in the mornings, something which annoys me to no end. It's weird. Even back then, when I thought I really had a thing for Ashley, I just HATED waking up next to her. I mean, I'd go to bed all happy and content, and then in the morning, when she was there, I would be instantly anxious. I would want her GONE, and I didn't know why. It was like a thin-sliced, gut reaction to her that I have learned to trust. I've had that feeling about plenty of girls since, and it's an absolute deal-breaker. The scariest moment for me with a girl is the moment I wake up next to her for the first time. If it doesn't feel right, even if I don't know why, it's over. I remember being so relieved when I woke up next to Maggie, not unhappy, that I almost cried. Ashley and I watched our favorite Arrested Development episodes last night (mine: "Good Grief", hers "Let Em Eat Cake"), and when I woke up in the morning, all I could think (both now, and remembering exactly how I felt the first time) was: "I've made a huge mistake." Link to post Share on other sites
Tactical Bear 3 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 p.s. is she a natural blonde? Seems fake to me but as a brunette I can't tell for sure.She dyes her hair that shade, but she's a natural blonde, yeah. Link to post Share on other sites
Quacktastic 106 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Anybody got plans Wednesday at 8:30/7:30 Central? No?Oh me, why I'll probably just stay in, relax and the couch, and tune into my favorite network CBS for some fine television entertainment... Link to post Share on other sites
jeff_536 3 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Anybody got plans Wednesday at 8:30/7:30 Central? No?Oh me, why I'll probably just stay in, relax and the couch, and tune into my favorite network CBS for some fine television entertainment...Gary Unmarried?I had to look it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Voldemort 0 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Anybody got plans Wednesday at 8:30/7:30 Central? No?Oh me, why I'll probably just stay in, relax and the couch, and tune into my favorite network CBS for some fine television entertainment...Hmmmmmmm Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 tune into CBS for some fine television entertainment...this makes absolutely no fucking sense to me. none at all. Link to post Share on other sites
IQCrash 1 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Anybody got plans Wednesday at 8:30/7:30 Central? No?Oh me, why I'll probably just stay in, relax and the couch, and tune into my favorite network CBS for some fine television entertainment...Are you Gary Unmarried? Is loogie going to be on Leno again?WHAT DOES THIS POST MEAN. Link to post Share on other sites
Tactical Bear 3 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Are you Gary Unmarried? Is loogie going to be on Leno again?WHAT DOES THIS POST MEAN.Does his wife write for a sitcom or something? Or does she knows somebody who writes for a sitcom?I could fucking write for a sitcom. My life might as well be a sitcom. Link to post Share on other sites
Tactical Bear 3 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 (Wang's phone rings)Wang: (awoken from a nice early-evening snooze) "Whose number is this?"(Answers phone)Wang: "Hello?"Ashley: "Hey you!"Wang: (bites fist) "Hey. You called me."Ashley: "Wanna hang out?"Wang: "That depends. Are you going to be drinking?"Ashley: "I didn't plan on it..."Wang: "Yeah, well, I'll probably have to take a rain check, then..."Ashley: (laughs) "Fine! I'll be over in 20 minutes. With some liquor, naughty boy."Wang: "Great."(Wang takes a Xanax. Wang takes another Xanax.)I hate everything.EDIT: (Wang takes another Xanax.) Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 She dyes her hair that shade, but she's a natural blonde, yeah.So, no, she's not.She may have been blonde as a kid, but so was I. Link to post Share on other sites
Tactical Bear 3 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 So, no, she's not.She may have been blonde as a kid, but so was I.Serious question:Is it possible to have blond head-hair and non-blonde other hair? Or vice-versa? I'm basing my judgment on:1) Blondish other hair2) A past conversation during which she said: "My hair is blondish, but I dye it this color. It's not nearly this light." Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Serious question:Is it possible to have blond head-hair and non-blonde other hair? Or vice-versa? I'm basing my judgment on:1) Blondish other hair2) A past conversation during which she said: "My hair is blondish, but I dye it this color. It's not nearly this light."If her pubes are blonde, she's natural. Blondish pubes? Umm...Voldemort? Little help?EDIT - In my experience, natural blondes are very blonde and unmistakable.EDIT x2 - "The founder of an Islamic television station in upstate New York aimed at countering Muslim stereotypes has confessed to beheading his wife, authorities said." from http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/02/16/buffal...ding/index.html That, my friends, is irony. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Wang: "That depends. Are you going to be drinking?"Ashley: "I didn't plan on it..."Wang: "Yeah, well, I'll probably have to take a rain check, then..."Ashley: (laughs) "Fine! I'll be over in 20 minutes. With some liquor, naughty boy."Wang: "Great."(Wang takes a Xanax. Wang takes another Xanax.)EDIT: (Wang takes another Xanax.)I missed the pictures...god ****ing dammit. I'm very jealous right now though, either way. Link to post Share on other sites
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