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you know you play too much poker when...


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When you're at a strip club, a guy throws a dollar on stage, the girl goes to him and picks it up and you raise.
reminds me of domga
Domga? I did this at Crazy Horse II in Vegas... he raised me back... I folded and waited for the next hand. She was better any way, a definate AQ... I played her all the way to the river...
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... when being woken up in the morning you say :I don't have a good enough hand" (yeah that actually happened to me)... when you use poker as a line to pick up women (a friend of mine)... you have nightmares of donkeys crushing your nuts (literally or figuratively)... when you refer to yourself as a semi-pro... when losing at poker becomes fun... when you lecture Daniel Negreanu on the proper EV play with Phil Helmuths nipples (alright i dont know where that came from)

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when you "shuffle" a stack of 12 quarters while sitting in a meeting. (true story)
i worked at a grocery store, and would often shuffle change while waiting for people to finish counting their change. thank god i live in canada, where we have $1 and $2 coins!
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  • 4 weeks later...

You drive to town(10 miles away, most of it gravel) in a wintersnow storm(all school activities that night were cancelled, travel is NOT advised by the weather channel)in a small pickup with no four wheel drive, to go to a home game where you end up winning only $40 and end up putting your truck into a ditch on the way home at 10:00 p.m. and have to have it towed out in the morning.

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When you buy something and the cashier says "$9.75" and you raise it to "$15".
You know what sucks about that. You are going to have to take your money back because you didnt make it $19.50 to go. Its just going to be considered a call.
If you put more than half of a raise in can you make it the full amount if you didnt pick up enough chips?
If you say raise yes
When you start analyzing a joke in terms of a real poker secenario!
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You've had the WSOP Main Event Dream and you're sitting at the same table as Doyle Brunson, Barry Greenstein, and Jennifer Harman.
and the only thing Harman is wearing are poker chips over her...never mind :oops:
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You've had the WSOP Main Event Dream and you're sitting at the same table as Doyle Brunson, Barry Greenstein, and Jennifer Harman.
you're nuts, if i'm having a main event dream, it involves 3 or 4 of the donkeys i'm playing micro-limit PLO/8 against.either that or harman, clonie gowen, evelyn ng ummmm i guess mercier and duke
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when you talk like this.justblaze: dude, that bar is very -ev PrtyPsux: driving is-ev justblaze: yea PrtyPsux: strippers are -ev justblaze: well, driving is +ev justblaze: gas is -ev PrtyPsux: yea PrtyPsux: true justblaze: strippers are definitely -ev PrtyPsux: yeeep ..especially vegas ones justblaze: andu have huge reverse implied odds with the stds PrtyPsux: lmaao justblaze: although you do have a shot at the nuts PrtyPsux: but you're drawing to a 2 outer justblaze: LOL justblaze: ROFL PrtyPsux: so its like a 22 to 1 shot justblaze: lolol justblaze: do u ever buy censored and think of it as bb? PrtyPsux: yea justblaze: i was at wendy last nite, and i was thinking how the spicy chicken combo is only 1b b

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When you buy something and the cashier says "$9.75" and you raise it to "$15".
You know what sucks about that. You are going to have to take your money back because you didnt make it $19.50 to go. Its just going to be considered a call.
If you put more than half of a raise in can you make it the full amount if you didnt pick up enough chips?
If you say raise yes
When you start analyzing a joke in terms of a real poker secenario!
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
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Driving down the road you see a license plate that start AK9 and think "Damn, my pocket queens are no good."
This is how I pass the time driving to work. The guy in front of me on the 405 this morning had jacks and two with an ace kicker. :-)
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you think you're getting quartered out of tonight's pot of mac- and-cheeze but you still go down to dinner anywayyou are talking to two cute girls at a party and thinking about how you are getting counterfieted and now fish who was playing with rags is gonna take at least half.you can remember what was playing in the car on the way to the casino that day you laid down (to a single bet no less) what was obviously the best hand in a huge kill pot.

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You've had the WSOP Main Event Dream and you're sitting at the same table as Doyle Brunson, Barry Greenstein, and Jennifer Harman.
you're nuts, if i'm having a main event dream, it involves 3 or 4 of the donkeys i'm playing micro-limit PLO/8 against.either that or harman, clonie gowen, evelyn ng ummmm i guess mercier and duke
HAHAHA The first thing i thought when i sat at said table was "Wow this is gonna be a loooooooong day." ...........then i woke up and had to go to the most depressing school in north america and possibly the world.
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You've had the WSOP Main Event Dream and you're sitting at the same table as Doyle Brunson, Barry Greenstein, and Jennifer Harman.
you're nuts, if i'm having a main event dream, it involves 3 or 4 of the donkeys i'm playing micro-limit PLO/8 against.either that or harman, clonie gowen, evelyn ng ummmm i guess mercier and duke
HAHAHA The first thing i thought when i sat at said table was "Wow this is gonna be a loooooooong day." ...........then i woke up and had to go to the most depressing school in north america and possibly the world.
gotta be mcmaster. goddamn man, hamilton smells like crap.i mean, i go to guelph. and i think hamilton smells. that says something.
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when you talk like this.justblaze: dude, that bar is very -ev PrtyPsux: driving is-ev justblaze: yea PrtyPsux: strippers are -ev justblaze: well, driving is +ev justblaze: gas is -ev PrtyPsux: yea PrtyPsux: true justblaze: strippers are definitely -ev PrtyPsux: yeeep ..especially vegas ones justblaze: andu have huge reverse implied odds with the stds PrtyPsux: lmaao justblaze: although you do have a shot at the nuts PrtyPsux: but you're drawing to a 2 outer justblaze: LOL justblaze: ROFL PrtyPsux: so its like a 22 to 1 shot justblaze: lolol justblaze: do u ever buy censored and think of it as bb? PrtyPsux: yea justblaze: i was at wendy last nite, and i was thinking how the spicy chicken combo is only 1b b
that is without a doubt the funniest thing i have ever heard/read.gentlemen, i am forever in your debt.thank you.daniel goodman
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