you know you're playing a fish when he says...

[gnosis 0]

In a friendly little $20 NL home game with $.10/$.20 blinds this occurs:Player 1(fairly reasonable player but kindof green) raises to $.70Player 2(a "guest" to the game who has been raising and re-raising a lot pre-flop) re-raises to $2Player 1 goes all in for a total of around $18Player 2 quickly callsPlayer 1 shows KKPlayer 2 shows 10sThen the conversation occursPlayer 2: "Its 50/50"Me: "Really? How do you figure?"Player 2: "We both have 2 outs"

[Batch 0]

I had KK he had 22 allin PFflop xxxturn 2River K"nice river you lucky censored"

Last I checked you get 5 cards to use on the board

[budica 0]

SNG tourny 10 players in NLHE, I'm playing tight aggressive. It's down to 4 players left and one guy says to me: I see why you're still here, anyone can win when they only play with good cards. You couldn't beat me if you played the hands I play....

This made me laugh so hard my wife thought I was crying and got all worried.

[mosheh 0]

SNG tourny 10 players in NLHE, I'm playing tight aggressive.  It's down to 4 players left and one guy says to me:  I see why you're still here, anyone can win when they only play with good cards.  You couldn't beat me if you played the hands I play....

This made me laugh so hard my wife thought I was crying and got all worried.

actually this one is pretty good !! laugh a lot too

[bascomeb 0]

He calls an allin preflop with Ace 4Guys turns over KQ"Thats exactly what i put him on"Oh wait that was last weeks wpt with that punk kid.hahahah what a loser

[Stiles2004 0]

"I saw it on celebrity poker and Phil Gordon said it was a good idea"

[HangukMiguk 8]

"Blast your rockets" as he folds every single time someone raises him...

[dms26 3]

When he wins an all-in race and screams DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

[Chiggleslap 0]

I had KK he had 22 allin PFflop xxxturn 2River K"nice river you lucky censored"

Last I checked you get 5 cards to use on the board

You know you're playing a fish when he says:"Last I checked you get 5 cards to use on the board."

[21gambit 0]

You may not believe this, but it is true.Home game:The guy I am playing against is extremely weak tight and if he raises (even one big blind bet) I fold because it means he has pocket Qs or better. Anyhow, we have taken everyone else out at the table and we're sitting at about even money for 23 minutes of heads up play before the game is over for the evening. I am running over him because he is so weak by just raising 1 big blind but eventually he reraises one. I start to slow down. I have been dealt A 7 diamonds and the board comes three hearts. I bet, he calls. Turn, another heart, I bet again and smile like I have the flush. He says "You have the flush?" I said, call me. He calls me. River comes another heart and he turns up his cards thinking it is over. He has pocket rockets with the ace of hearts. He said "what did you have, I've got aces!" I bet and say "I've got the flush!" He says "DANGIT! I knew it!" and mucks his cards.He told me that I was lucky to catch that turn card.

Shame on you for taking money from the mentally handicap

[jzieg2313 0]

First time guys....On party poker the other day I limp in late position with 1oh 10d with four callers in front of me The flop comes:10c 10s 2cBb bets 3/4 of the pot, one caller in mid- position, and I just call on the end. Turn comes:6cI'm hoping someone made their flush and when the bb checked and middle position bet I just called figuring if he just has the Ac I want him to catch up. BB folds. River comes:7cMP bets and I raise all-in, he calls. He shows 9/8c for running straight flush and the conversation follows:Fish: Nice slowplay you idiot! Ha Ha!Me: I thought i did pretty well, trapped you for almost all your chips on a billion to one shot. Seems like a pretty nice slowplay.Fish: Ha, seems like I was the one that was trapping you moron. Next time bet your hand!Me: (bangs head on the desk in disbelief) So If i had raise you on the turn when you made your flush and I had the best hand you would have folded?Fish: Hey, who has the chips? (love that line)JZ

[guinevar 0]

Last night on Pacific I took a bunch of the quotes xxeddie gave us and people thought I was stupid. When I tripled up they said "stupid luck. You keep playing your jacks and I'll play my suited connectors and we'll see who wins in the longrun!"I said "I rivered you! LOL!!!!"My three of a kind came on the flop.

[jack24bauer24 0]

"My name is Jayson Weber"

[dharris 0]

Its pretty funny when a fish flops top two pair or trips or something after folding to a raised pot and he/she says: "Can't believe I folded that hand." I actually came across a guy online yesterday that was relaying what he folded while others were still playing the hand when his folded rags coordinated with the board. It was especially bad one hand since the board was like 8 8 J or something, and he says, "Damn. Folded an 8." I said, "I don't know if you are BSing or what, but you shouldn't be saying what you folded during the hand. His reply, "I can say whatever I want" Uh..i guess so champ. Sounded like a kid who just got grounded or something..man somtimes I feel like an old man at 24. The other guys echoed my comments and we didnt have to alert admin or anything because he didnt chat anymore.I think it has been mentioned, but I also love when fish call you down when they think you are bluffing, but even when they are right they didnt have anything either and you win anyway.Devo

[fryer98 30]

I had KK he had 22 allin PFflop xxxturn 2River K"nice river you lucky censored"

Last I checked you get 5 cards to use on the board

You know you're playing a fish when he says:"Last I checked you get 5 cards to use on the board."

ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING-AH!

[Sushiman 0]

Playing 2/4 live this moring at the B&M.....One of the regulars is playing a hand: After the flop comes he says "Well, I'd fold, but there's too much money in the pot" and proceeds to catch runner runner to complete his suited 7 4 for a straight! :roll:

Actually, that's not too bad. Size of the pot is the 2nd biggest factor in limit next to the cards you have. I doubt the pot was big enough for him to be getting odds on runner runner but his theory was right at least.

[Guest XXEddie]

I had KK he had 22 allin PFflop xxxturn 2River K"nice river you lucky censored"

Last I checked you get 5 cards to use on the board

what

[pdaconq9 0]

This happened yesterday. I open from middle position for $3 (the game is .5-$1 NL), and I get two callers. Flop comes Js8s2d, I bet out, first limper folds, second limer calls. Turn is the Kd, I bet out again, limper calls, so I figure this has to be a flush draw. River is a 6h, so I have the nuts. The fish had about half his stack into the pot at this point, so I bet about two-thirds of his stack, hoping to induce a push from two pair. The fish calls and flips over... wait for it... 4s5s The reason?"I was pot committed."[/b]

[Guest XXEddie]

This happened yesterday. I open from middle position for $3 (the game is .5-$1 NL), and I get two callers. Flop comes Js8s2d, I bet out, first limper folds, second limer calls. Turn is the Kd, I bet out again, limper calls, so I figure this has to be a flush draw. River is a 6h, so I have the nuts. The fish had about half his stack into the pot at this point, so I bet about two-thirds of his stack, hoping to induce a push from two pair. The fish calls and flips over... wait for it... 4s5s The reason?"I was pot committed."[/b]

im assuming you had KK

[DKE_XP120 0]

I saw this today after datamining a table... needless to say this guy was 70/0/.23Someone made a comment ilke "unbeleivable, you had like a 5% chance of winning"soxsux70: why you fretting the cardssoxsux70: just go with the flowsoxsux70: when you count percentages you loseI went right to my buddy list and added him

[DJ_Chaps 0]

a couple i've encountered the last 2 days or so.....after i jokingly (tho honestly) stated that i mucked a winner (would have hit 10's full...wisely mucked 10 2 os pre flop)"you always gotta see the flop, no matter what........unless you have total crap"a funny guy at a $25NL table yesterday..... wins a few small pots with over bets, starts getting a lil cocky (wow ur $5 buy in is now 10 wippeee). soon enough true colours shine out and he is gettin reamed. his tune changes, and he actually confesses to being a total newb. went as far as to ask a few of us with stacks as to what exactly he should work on, books to find...etc.

[jmc 0]

Don't know if these people were fish or just really dumb, but I was playing 2-7 triple draw on UB today....don't remember the exact hand I had, but it might have been Number 2 or something in that ballpark. There was only one other person in the pot--they'd been raising pretty heavily but I figured I'd take my chances and call them down. We get to the showdown, and they wind up having a queen high straight...wtf? The funny part was when the next hand started the person was very slow to act, as if they were still trying to figure out why they had lost the last hand. They left a few seconds later.Later that same day the same situation basically happened with another person, except this time they turned over a full house.....Fish are one thing, but people who don't even know what game they're in are something else....

[BigBabyJesus 0]

"I'm new to this online site, what is EV?" They were acting like EV was just on that site.

[custom36 4]

Sorry if it's been used - I'm not searching 10 pages...

pinch pinch!

(sw?)

[HangukMiguk 8]

I saw this today after datamining a table... needless to say this guy was 70/0/.23Someone made a comment ilke "unbeleivable, you had like a 5% chance of winning"soxsux70: why you fretting the cardssoxsux70: just go with the flowsoxsux70: when you count percentages you loseI went right to my buddy list and added him

What site and name? I think I found my new best friend