I Called In Sick Today

[strategy 4]

it's like having a semester-long group project with MisterB

[hank213 1,823]

I was in a group with this kid last semester, he's your stereotypical mid-20s creepy undergrad guy. always asks to use whatever I'm using. for instance he asked to borrow my touch, and then today asked to borrow my macbook. I was like "hey you know there's a lab just 100 feet outside that door, right?"anyway apparently he has a reputation for excessively going to office hours with female TAs and I'm pretty sure he banged our low self-confidence female team member last semester.not really going anywhere with this story, just wanted to describe an interesting character that I'm dropping a class to avoid being in yet another group project with.

you sure he's not your tyler durden?

[renaedawn 1]

It's not creepy. She's my sister-in-law.

El Guapo was winning the last few pages until this one. Fabulous call back. Just the right amount of time has passed for that one to be subtly brilliant now.Oh by the way, apparently what I do in this thread is no longer so much of a "posting" role as a "issuing pleasantries and encouragement" role. I've done some hard time looking in a mirror and realize that I have come to be a younger but fatter Paula Abdul. Someone get mama a Vicodin. I, too, had hoped for more but it is what it is. Just calling it out here so I can fully actualize it.You all are some funny mother fuckers. Much too funny for me to keep up.

[strategy 4]

you sure he's not your tyler durden?

I would probably commit suicide or something. legitimately the most irritating character ever.there was once some pre-class banter going on and the professor starts talking about oil and its occasional proximity to shale. a random kid goes "what's shale?" MisterB goes off on him out of nowhere. "you don't know about SHALE? how do you not know about SHALE?" as if he's some incompetent geology major.the few seconds of stunned silence in the room made my day

[CaneBrain 95]

donehttp://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/664708League ID#: 664708Password: jjjsucks

In as the Yeshiva Flying Rabbi

[Sickinfo2 291]

I'd also like to semi-publically announce that brvheart and Mrs. Brvheart are pretty much the greatest boss's ever

Be sure and post the details when you get drunk, roll a car, try to leave the scene, and they come bail you out....

But of all the stories I have heard recently, this one is probably closest to the truth (actual dialogue) than all of them combined.

Thanks?

Mmm. Fat Tire...haven't had those for a long time. I assume you meant "Fat"

Yeah, thats my nickname for the stuff....For some reason it gives me stomach cramps after eight or tenI know this and still I keep trying it again and again..... best product endorsement eva?

I want to be Mr. Icewater in my next life.

Trust me.... its a goddamn roller coaster ride....all the way to the bottom

Imagine if there was a shootout at an In N Out.

Id duck behind the five or six stools facing the counter and listen for my number....

Jesus fucking Christ

[brvheart 1,752]

Last night I had a vivid dream, and I still remember most of it, involving me spending the weekend at Beans' house. There were a crap-ton of people around constantly. Everyone was eating and drinking constantly. There were several buildings and barns etc... and we were just working randomly, but mainly joking around. I met Shane at lunch. He had a Jonah Hill type beard... where it was just there because he was too lazy to shave this week.

[brvheart 1,752]

may I join or is that like illegal since I've never posted in this thread? how much $ etc, ...,:.

Like Speedz said, you're golden. The fee last year was $20. brvheart (Des Moines) on Stars.** ps.... I have no idea if we paid a fee last year, I just need the money.

[El Guapo 8]

Last night I had a vivid dream, and I still remember most of it, involving me spending the weekend at Beans' house. There were a crap-ton of people around constantly. Everyone was eating and drinking constantly. There were several buildings and barns etc... and we were just working randomly, but mainly joking around. I met Shane at lunch. He had a Jonah Hill type beard... where it was just there because he was too lazy to shave this week.

OOOooohh. That's not good. You should probably go see a Doctor. i think you saw "the light".

[Sickinfo2 291]

Last night I had a vivid dream, and I still remember most of it, involving me spending the weekend at Beans' house. There were a crap-ton of people around constantly. Everyone was eating and drinking constantly. There were several buildings and barns etc... and we were just working randomly, but mainly joking around. I met Shane at lunch. He had a Jonah Hill type beard... where it was just there because he was too lazy to shave this week.

Holy shit....While you were here did you happen to find the weedeater line?

i think you saw "the light".

I doubt it....It had a Diet Coke cano around it

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Jesus fucking Christ

this is how i know there's gotta be something shocking about the picture. you got beans to swear. he even bypassed the filter.

[loogie 115]

This was a Top Ten Loogie Emasculation Night.Some douchebag ended the night by trying to start a fight with me, and I backed off after the urging of my friends. There was nothing worth fighting about...in fact the dude was just looking to fight by calling me a "poopy pants"....that's right, a "poopy pants"....but it doesn't really matter what a guy calls you when he wants to fight. It's about the fucking fight. And he was way bigger. But I backed down because of the pleading of my scared friends.I was made to feel like an idiot for even getting upset by the situation.And then on the way home I got to watch the girl I like get dropped off at the place of some other guy.Awful night. I would have rather ended up bloodied in the street by the hands of the butt cut poopy pants assassin then the castrating bullshit I was subjected to.Someone please do something to cheer me up.Tell me there's some kind of silver lining out there.

[LadyGrey 6]

Someone please do something to cheer me up.Tell me there's some kind of silver lining out there.

Here you go

[Sal Paradise 57]

Now this, this is like illegal. Or close.

even creepier to realize that it is stored on hank's photobucket

I'm pretty sure the tits are fake (photoshop, not silicon) and that the girl really is like 13. Not that I'm judging.

you guys are ridiculous. that girl is spectacular no matter which way you slice it. and I'd slice it. aaaaaall over her face. wait, that doesn't sound right. whatever, she's stupid hot, I'm sure she's over 18, and if not, who the fuck cares. besides the courts of course. but have the courts ever gotten me laid? hellz no. so why the hell am I gonna let them NOT get me laid? I've ron mexicoed.

Jesus fucking Christ

see? (I'm going with 'beans thinks she's attractive' vs. beans thinks she's zach's age.)

This was a Top Ten Loogie Emasculation Night.

eh, wish I could help you, but I've been a pussy all my life and it doesn't seem to be slowing down any time soon. I think you need to go the beans route on this guy and find out all kinds of stuff about him somehow and make his life miserable for several years, possibly leading to suicide or some sort of dependence.

[loogie 115]

Thank you, LG. That did help.I'd like to think I didn't completely puss out. I was totally ready to get pummeled, and friends pulled me away. They happened to be the most docile of my friends. Any of my old friends probably would have started brawling before I could even get a punch in. Man, I miss those guys.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

You've what? The suspense is killing me!

Heh. That's the type of joke I would make while thinking nobody else would think it's funny, but still go through with it anyway.But the answer is "cats." "Cats."Edit:

[speedz99 145]

I've just been invited to a "sangria and s'mores" party being held by and for my future classmates. I'm guessing they want the few guys in the class to just go ahead and leave their balls at the door.I'll be finding something else to do that night. Or, more likely, sitting at home with the cats. Vet school's gonna be grrrrrrrrreat!

[El Guapo 8]

I've just been invited to a "sangria and s'mores" party being held by and for my future classmates. I'm guessing they want the few guys in the class to just go ahead and leave their balls at the door.I'll be finding something else to do that night. Or, more likely, sitting at home with the cats. Vet school's gonna be grrrrrrrrreat!

You're gay if you do and you're gay if you don't.

[CaneBrain 95]

You're gay if you do and you're gay if you don't.

Pretty sure they call that a Chelsea Conundrum.I like smores and I like sangria but I dont think I like both together. I don't usually wash down my graham crackers and chocolate with a fruit/wine mixer.

[El Guapo 8]

Pretty sure they call that a Chelsea Conundrum.I like smores and I like sangria but I dont think I like both together. I don't usually wash down my graham crackers and chocolate with a fruit/wine mixer.

Graham Crackers and fruit drink. They must think he's black, or four.

[LadyGrey 6]

I've just been invited to a "sangria and s'mores" party being held by and for my future classmates. I'm guessing they want the few guys in the class to just go ahead and leave their balls at the door.

Next week I'm going to a birthday party with the dress code of "animal costume". That's all fine and dandy only the party isn't in a house, but a pub/bar crawl around town. I don't like sangria or smores but I'd take your party over mine any day.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

Next week I'm going to a birthday party with the dress code of "animal costume". That's all fine and dandy only the party isn't in a house, but a pub/bar crawl around town.

That's ridiculous. What are you going as?

[brvheart 1,752]

Next week I'm going to a birthday party with the dress code of "animal costume". That's all fine and dandy only the party isn't in a house, but a pub/bar crawl around town. I don't like sangria or smores but I'd take your party over mine any day.

Is pajama girl going to be there? That situation is RIPE for some excellent pictures.

[Quacktastic 106]

That's ridiculous. What are you going as?

The answer is "cat." "Cat."Edit:

[loogie 115]

Boy, I really went all suitedaces last night, didn't I? Me bad.Now I remember why I started smoking weed. It's cheaper than alcohol, and it doesn't make me desirous of an ass kicking.