I Called In Sick Today

[speedz99 145]

You and me both.

I'm a 30/30 on the P scale. Ruminate on that one for a while, people.

[brvheart 1,752]

I'm a 30/30 on the P scale. Ruminate on that one for a while, people.

I love that you posted this, because I had my scores in each category all typed out and then deleted them, since I didn't figure anyone would care.(I was a 20/20 in three of the four categories)

[Randy Reed 0]

I'm not looking forward to waking up early for class on mondayI might feel like this:

holy shi t that's cute.I've got a buzz.playin' pokergood times

[brvheart 1,752]

Random thought of the day:Pete Maravich was a hell of a basketball player."He is still the all-time leading NCAA Division I scorer with 3,667 points scored and an average of 44.2 points per game. He accomplished this without the benefit of a three-point line and despite the fact that NCAA rules prohibited him from playing on the varsity team as a freshman. Years later former LSU head basketball coach Dale Brown charted every college game Maravich played, taking into consideration all shots he took. The coach calculated that at the NCAA rule of a three-point line at 19-foot (5.8 m), 9-inches from the rim, Maravich would have averaged thirteen 3-point scores per game, which would have given the player a career average of 57 points per game.more than 35 years later, many of his records still stand.Notably, his 3,667 points don't factor in the 741 he scored his freshman year"

[silkyjonson 1]

Random thought of the day:Pete Maravich was a hell of a basketball player."He is still the all-time leading NCAA Division I scorer with 3,667 points scored and an average of 44.2 points per game. He accomplished this without the benefit of a three-point line and despite the fact that NCAA rules prohibited him from playing on the varsity team as a freshman. Years later former LSU head basketball coach Dale Brown charted every college game Maravich played, taking into consideration all shots he took. The coach calculated that at the NCAA rule of a three-point line at 19-foot (5.8 m), 9-inches from the rim, Maravich would have averaged thirteen 3-point scores per game, which would have given the player a career average of 57 points per game.more than 35 years later, many of his records still stand.Notably, his 3,667 points don't factor in the 741 he scored his freshman year"

Almost on par with El Guapo's high school stats.

[Sal Paradise 57]

I'm not looking forward to waking up early for class on mondayI might feel like this:

that's so cute it makes me want to vomit.oh wait that's the alcohol.

[Randy Reed 0]

Random thought of the day:Pete Maravich was a hell of a basketball player."He is still the all-time leading NCAA Division I scorer with 3,667 points scored and an average of 44.2 points per game. He accomplished this without the benefit of a three-point line and despite the fact that NCAA rules prohibited him from playing on the varsity team as a freshman. Years later former LSU head basketball coach Dale Brown charted every college game Maravich played, taking into consideration all shots he took. The coach calculated that at the NCAA rule of a three-point line at 19-foot (5.8 m), 9-inches from the rim, Maravich would have averaged thirteen 3-point scores per game, which would have given the player a career average of 57 points per game.more than 35 years later, many of his records still stand.Notably, his 3,667 points don't factor in the 741 he scored his freshman year"

I remember him like it was yesterday. Damn he could shoot. It seemed like half his shots came from half courtand were nothing but net. Without a doubt my favorite college player when I was a kid. He was the first playerI remember having long hair as well. Everyone called him Pistol Pete Maravich.

Almost on par with El Guapo's high school stats.

Almost....Well, I am hungover for the first time in uhhh, 9 months. We went out with friends last night and had some beer and wingsthen I came home and drank Beam and coke while dumping my Stars bankroll. I'm supposed to go on a 30 mile bike ride today, ughh.Oh yeah and some ******* plowed into my Far Cry machine (Audi s4) on the expressway in stopped traffic Friday night. It's not totaled but will need some work and I got a little whiplash.

[loogie 115]

My roommates all went out last night, but I declined citing lack of funds, hesitancy to drink again and look for an ass beating, and schoolwork. I woke up at 4am when they all came back laughing and such, and I was filled with instant regret that I had missed what appeared to be a pretty rocking, good time. But I really do have a lot of work to do today and an art director counting on me to write something poignant yet funny about Airstream Trailers that's worth putting up on the wall on Monday. So, it was the right decision.I wake up this morning and go downstairs to grab some bar-form of breakfast before heading off to Starbucks to slam my head against my laptop for a few hours when I see something on the table. A heavenly bag of beautiful schwag. Open. The Flying Spaghetti Monster doth work in mysterious ways. And I received my gifted pinch with much reverence. Amen.

[speedz99 145]

The Flying Spaghetti Monster doth work in mysterious ways. And I received my gifted pinch with much reverence. Amen.

Heh. I forgot about pinching pinches. Love that weed vernacular.Heh...I peench. Write an ad like that, why don't ya?

[loogie 115]

Man, I wrote some good shit. I think. I haven't gone back to read it yet.It seems that ESPN has upped the amount of main page stories that require an Insider subscription.

[speedz99 145]

I celebrated my last day as a Man of Leisure by having a bagel brunch, taking a bigass vicodin, and sitting at the pool for about 3 hours. Now I think I might go to the store, take another half of a bigass vicodin, and have a drink while watching some tv, before making my last supper. All in all, I'm pretty happy with this, aside from the imminent immersion into a school year that will most likely involve more studying than I did in my six total years of undergrad combined.

[El Guapo 8]

Almost on par with El Guapo's high school stats.

Nah. I only played JV hoops.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Everyone called him Pistol Pete Maravich.

...

[Sal Paradise 57]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090824/ap_on_..._obama_vacation

His sister, Maya, flew with the Obamas from Washington, as did first pooch Bo, who wandered through the press cabin during the flight.

ok, so does it make me racist that when I first glanced over this line, I read it as "as did Pooch Boo" and just assumed it was one of his cousins or something?

[JoeyJoJo 18]

also, for waffles members: free leech all weekend apparently.

You could've switched "waffles" and "leech" and I still wouldn't know what you're talking about. Although possibly more interested.

I might feel like this:

This is pretty great.Also, beans.

[El Guapo 8]

So the weekend I was dreading actually ended up turning out to be pretty awesome.We had a wedding to go to on Saturday, my Sister-in-law and her cockfuck husband were supposed to be there, and I assumed we would be sat at the same table as them. That would have been very awkward. They ended up not attending. So my stress level about the evening dropped by 700%.We barely make it to the church because apparently in downtown Alameda there are like 17 churches in a three block radius and we went to two, before getting to the right one. After the Bride walks down the isle, the Father (is that correct?) has everyone sit down, Bride, Groom, wedding party. At this point I let out a slightly audible "shit" that turned a few heads my way. I have been to two traditional ceremonies and they were both over an hour with lots of standing, sitting, kneeling, for reasons that escape me. As the some of the family was doing their scripture readings I kept giggling to myself because I was picturing someone heading up and reading that saying the Jules does in Pulp Fiction ...and they will know my name is the LORD!... Halfway through my wife turns to me and says, "I have not heard a word anyone has said, 8 years of Catholic school has caused me to completely tune out everything in Church."We got very lucky and the entire ceremony was no more than 20 minutes.Later stories of the reception....can you feel the anticipation?

[jeff_536 3]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090824/ap_on_..._obama_vacationok, so does it make me racist that when I first glanced over this line, I read it as "as did Pooch Boo" and just assumed it was one of his cousins or something?

yes

[jeff_536 3]

oops, double post.CHEST

[Sal Paradise 57]

are you sure?

[hank213 1,823]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090824/ap_on_..._obama_vacationok, so does it make me racist that when I first glanced over this line, I read it as "as did Pooch Boo" and just assumed it was one of his cousins or something?

I think you're just siding with the statistical probabilities.

[El Guapo 8]

After the ceremony we head to the reception pretty much right away. I head to the bar to get a cocktail, guess what? IT'S HOSTED! 90 minutes for hard alcohol, 3 hours for Beer and Wine. I proceed to have 6 captain and cokes in the next hour. And they actually poured them fairly strong. Good thing about getting there early, 3 drinks down before there was any line.I pretty much don't know anyone here, except one guy (Dave from the Dave and Natalie cheating saga I posted a couple months ago) and two of his friends. This would have been the perfect wedding for Sal. Numerous late 20's girls, fairly attractive, looking for a man and some late teen early 20's fat girls taking pictures of themselves holding Beer's, presumably for their myspace pages.I somehow got drunk enough to be the stand in dance partner for the wives of guys who wouldn't dance and the single chicks who didn't have a date. The second part of that wasn't a bad gig. I was truly dumbfounded at one point, there was a girl there, 28 years old, probably a 7.5/10, nice body (speedz approved) ready, willing and able. She got turned down twice by guys to dance who were dressed like a mix between Justin Timberlake and a new age Rat Pack. I used this opportunity to find out if I still had the ability to converse with single females at all. I had her laughing so hard at one point I was literally holding her up on the dance floor. I told her that she was easily in the top 5% of girls there (prob not fully true, but not an egregious lie either). I did not wear ring because the last few days it was bothering my hand and I forgot to put it back on before we left. She started probing my relationship with my wife, who she has met but did not know we were married. When she found out, she seemed a little dissapointed. It was definitely an Ego boost.The main point of this story is to outline my confusion. This girl was staying at the hotel everyone else is staying, was basically saying I am a looking for a guy and drunk enough that if you didn't completely **** it up you could have gone back to her room, but she was turned down numerous times. Now she wasn't a supermodel by any means, but there is no questions in my mind that most, if not every male that posts here would have had dirty dirty sex with her.So since I haven't been single in a decade, can anyone enlighten me as to what these guys could possibly have been thinking?Oh ya, and Voldy. I would like to enter your coaching program. I am pretty sure this would have been the easiest threesome in the world to have had. Also I need to figure out a swinger code, because I am pretty sure a husband and wife were hitting on us, because they kept offering for us to crash with them in their hotel room, but they only had a Queen bed. Of course most of the previous paragraph is moot, because I don't think there is any chance my wife is having a threesome and I am never going to let her have sex with another guy.

[Randy Reed 0]

After the ceremony we head to the reception pretty much right away. I head to the bar to get a cocktail, guess what? IT'S HOSTED! 90 minutes for hard alcohol, 3 hours for Beer and Wine. I proceed to have 6 captain and cokes in the next hour. And they actually poured them fairly strong. Good thing about getting there early, 3 drinks down before there was any line.I pretty much don't know anyone here, except one guy (Dave from the Dave and Natalie cheating saga I posted a couple months ago) and two of his friends. This would have been the perfect wedding for Sal. Numerous late 20's girls, fairly attractive, looking for a man and some late teen early 20's fat girls taking pictures of themselves holding Beer's, presumably for their myspace pages.I somehow got drunk enough to be the stand in dance partner for the wives of guys who wouldn't dance and the single chicks who didn't have a date. The second part of that wasn't a bad gig. I was truly dumbfounded at one point, there was a girl there, 28 years old, probably a 7.5/10, nice body (speedz approved) ready, willing and able. She got turned down twice by guys to dance who were dressed like a mix between Justin Timberlake and a new age Rat Pack. I used this opportunity to find out if I still had the ability to converse with single females at all. I had her laughing so hard at one point I was literally holding her up on the dance floor. I told her that she was easily in the top 5% of girls there (prob not fully true, but not an egregious lie either). I did not wear ring because the last few days it was bothering my hand and I forgot to put it back on before we left. She started probing my relationship with my wife, who she has met but did not know we were married. When she found out, she seemed a little dissapointed. It was definitely an Ego boost.The main point of this story is to outline my confusion. This girl was staying at the hotel everyone else is staying, was basically saying I am a looking for a guy and drunk enough that if you didn't completely **** it up you could have gone back to her room, but she was turned down numerous times. Now she wasn't a supermodel by any means, but there is no questions in my mind that most, if not every male that posts here would have had dirty dirty sex with her.So since I haven't been single in a decade, can anyone enlighten me as to what these guys could possibly have been thinking?Oh ya, and Voldy. I would like to enter your coaching program. I am pretty sure this would have been the easiest threesome in the world to have had. Also I need to figure out a swinger code, because I am pretty sure a husband and wife were hitting on us, because they kept offering for us to crash with them in their hotel room, but they only had a Queen bed. Of course most of the previous paragraph is moot, because I don't think there is any chance my wife is having a threesome and I am never going to let her have sex with another guy.

Well, I would never be one of the guys that hung by the wall so you'd have to ask someone else about that. At weddings the sure fire way to get layed is to break out my real obnxious yet pretty good version of YMCA. It's also nice how more and more couples have decided to forgo the real long weddings anymore as well.

[Sal Paradise 57]

dudes were probably homos. then again, I'd have been one of the guys she wouldn't hit on so what do I know.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

So since I haven't been single in a decade, can anyone enlighten me as to what these guys could possibly have been thinking?

I don't understand what you're talking about.

Oh ya, and Voldy. I would like to enter your coaching program. I am pretty sure this would have been the easiest threesome in the world to have had. Also I need to figure out a swinger code, because I am pretty sure a husband and wife were hitting on us, because they kept offering for us to crash with them in their hotel room, but they only had a Queen bed. Of course most of the previous paragraph is moot, because I don't think there is any chance my wife is having a threesome and I am never going to let her have sex with another guy.

Mathematically, that's not really a threesome.Let's say they were interested in a swap. Is there any ratio of woman:man hotness that would make you think about it? What I mean is, if the wife was a bonafide 10 and the man was a 5, would you consider it then?Edit: Oh wait, you meant a threesome with the dancing girl. But you did mention sex with another guy. Fuckin' math.

[Voldemort 0]

I don't understand what you're talking about.Mathematically, that's not really a threesome.Let's say they were interested in a swap. Is there any ratio of woman:man hotness that would make you think about it? What I mean is, if the wife was a bonafide 10 and the man was a 5, would you consider it then?Edit: Oh wait, you meant a threesome with the dancing girl. But you did mention sex with another guy. Fuckin' math.

Have to be equal or close. Say no more than a 1.25 difference of hotness.Girl is a 8.5....guy can be no worse than a 7.25. I mean, wife has to get something too...AMIRITE?Even if the girl is a 10.....guy can't be dogass ugly.