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I Called In Sick Today


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I, sadly, just let out an audible sigh of relief. A real, "Whew!"Yes, Nikki, that was the joke.
I thought it might be. I wasn't sure. I'm a little (okay a lot) dense most of the time. I'm just getting into full socially retarded nerd mode for Gen Con, I guess. Color me ashamed.
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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

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Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I thought it might be. I wasn't sure. I'm a little (okay a lot) dense most of the time. I'm just getting into full socially retarded nerd mode for Gen Con, I guess. Color me ashamed.
I didn't think you could have any other color than beat red.(This same sentence would work for Lolli as well)
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In other news, I am so ridiculously immature that I can't help but laugh when faced with the prospect of eating a banana in public. That's right. I was sitting at my desk today and got hungry, so I took a banana out of my drawer and peeled it. Grasping the fruit in it's naked glory I noticed that it was unusually large and bendy. It was an uber-phallic banana and I suddenly felt rather intimidated and was too coy to take the plunge and bite. I sat there for several moments just staring at it, contemplating the texture of it and daring myself to consume it. I suppressed a spate of shy giggles, still not familiar (brave?) enough with it to cross that boundary between touching and tasting. Eventually I grew determined and began to chant a mantra in my head: "It does not look like a penis. It does not look like a penis". Finally a placid state of mind came over me; I felt at peace with the banana. It was time. I ate it, and it was ripe and delicious. The end.
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Wyatt Earp – defining characteristics: fearless, loyal, a leader (speedz)Doc Holliday - defining characteristics: loyal and deadly (beans)Virgil Earp – defining characteristics: a little older, wants to do what is right (Ron)Morgan Earp - defining characteristics: a follower, but useful (El Guapo)Curly Bill - defining characteristics: pretends to be a leader, but needs Ringo around to be a real threat (JJJ)Johnny Ringo - defining characteristics: deadly and has no filter (Wang)Sheriff John Behan - defining characteristics: likes to think he's important, but doesn't really want to be involved (mk)Marshall Fred - defining characteristics: wants to be the man but knows he's out of his league (Napa)Johnny Tyler - defining characteristics: surly, a little dumb, and ultimately a coward (SBriand)Hmm, maybe I should remove the defining characteristics on some of those.
I think this is a pretty good list. I could quibble -- for example, the list would be better if I had made it, and reversed our two roles, since I'm the one with the notoriously broad self-deprecating streak -- but I'm pretty pleased. The biggest problem is not mentioning the booze connections between Doc/Beans. Ike Clanton- defining characteristics: strong in the presence of weakness, weak in the presence of strength. "Law don't go round here, LawDog!" (???)
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Ike Clanton- defining characteristics: strong in the presence of weakness, weak in the presence of strength. "Law don't go round here, LawDog!" (???)
brvheart
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I am not sure what I think about the list. I think there is an insult of some kind toward me but I can't quite figure it out. Doesn't matter much anyway, not like I would do anything about it, I would be outwit no matter what.

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Wyatt Earp – defining characteristics: fearless, loyal, a leader (speedz)Doc Holliday - defining characteristics: loyal and deadly (beans)Virgil Earp – defining characteristics: a little older, wants to do what is right (Ron)Morgan Earp - defining characteristics: a follower, but useful (El Guapo)Curly Bill - defining characteristics: pretends to be a leader, but needs Ringo around to be a real threat (JJJ)Johnny Ringo - defining characteristics: deadly and has no filter (Wang)Sheriff John Behan - defining characteristics: likes to think he’s important, but doesn’t really want to be involved (mk)Marshall Fred - defining characteristics: wants to be the man but knows he’s out of his league (Napa)Johnny Tyler - defining characteristics: surly, a little dumb, and ultimately a coward (SBriand)Hmm, maybe I should remove the defining characteristics on some of those.
Yes. Also, I think this is the first time I've been given a role in a sickie movie. Since I haven't posted for awhile and I'm sure you have all been wondering with baited breath, here is a little life update:At work, people are no longer suspicious that I am taking their jobs and have started conversing with me. I'm 35% certain that one of the cuter girls is flirting with me. I think they only hire 18+ too, so I should maybe try to learn her name?Since moving into my new apartment with some friends, we have been a fair amount of partying. We have some hot neighbors, so that's good. I think one of my roommates might be a closet homosexual after our first party when some hot girl told a mutual friend that she wanted to get with him that night and he somehow managed to not close (he decided to go get pizza with a group of us guys instead) that night (more than week ago) and has yet to do anything about it. I'll let you know if I wakeup to him cuddling me some night.
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Yes. Also, I think this is the first time I've been given a role in a sickie movie. Since I haven't posted for awhile and I'm sure you have all been wondering with baited breath, here is a little life update:At work, people are no longer suspicious that I am taking their jobs and have started conversing with me. I'm 35% certain that one of the cuter girls is flirting with me. I think they only hire 18+ too, so I should maybe try to learn her name?Since moving into my new apartment with some friends, we have been a fair amount of partying. We have some hot neighbors, so that's good. I think one of my roommates might be a closet homosexual after our first party when some hot girl told a mutual friend that she wanted to get with him that night and he somehow managed to not close (he decided to go get pizza with a group of us guys instead) that night (more than week ago) and has yet to do anything about it. I'll let you know if I wakeup to him cuddling me some night.
Hows BF1943?
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I think one of my roommates might be a closet homosexual after our first party when some hot girl told a mutual friend that she wanted to get with him that night and he somehow managed to not close (he decided to go get pizza with a group of us guys instead) that night (more than week ago) and has yet to do anything about it. I'll let you know if I wakeup to him cuddling me some night.
I don't know about these snap judgments you're making, Herman; that sounds an awful lot like my collegiate experience.
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I think one of my roommates might be a closet homosexual after our first party when some hot girl told a mutual friend that she wanted to get with him that night and he somehow managed to not close (he decided to go get pizza with a group of us guys instead) that night (more than week ago) and has yet to do anything about it. I'll let you know if I wakeup to him cuddling me some night.
That friend shall from this point on be known as Bizarro Speedz, and I'd appreciate it if you could keep us updated on his progression towards cat ownership.Edit: Curses! Foiled again.
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Hows BF1943?
For a $15 game it's fun. It took me a while to get decent at it after playing CoD:4 so much, but I'm ok at it now. Some friends and I play it together now and then as a little change of pace from CoD:4 because of the planes and vehicles you can drive.
I don't know about these snap judgments you're making, Herman; that sounds an awful lot like my collegiate experience.
That friend shall from this point on be known as Bizarro Speedz, and I'd appreciate it if you could keep us updated on his progression towards cat ownership.Edit: Curses! Foiled again.
It should also be noted that one of his best friends is our other roommate's girlfriend. They constantly hang out and go to chick flick movies together. The other day I walked into his room and he was watching "27 Dresses" by himself. Not the first time something like that has happened. Now, I really actually doubt that he is a closet homosexual but if ten years down the road somebody told me that he was gay, it wouldn't surprise me.Edit: I'd give it like a 15% chance of this happening. Also, he HATES cats.
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It should also be noted that one of his best friends is our other roommate's girlfriend. They constantly hang out and go to chick flick movies together. The other day I walked into his room and he was watching "27 Dresses" by himself. Not the first time something like that has happened. Now, I really actually doubt that he is a closet homosexual.
Yeah, no. This one is actually gay.
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Okay, so the girl I'm dating -- despite having some admittedly disturbing sexual preferences -- has been amazing for my ego. The few times a woman has praised my performance, I've written it off as an obligatory politeness, a kind of civil, post-coital protocol. For some reason, despite my deep-seated self-loathing, I find myself in a very different place the last few days. I guess, for lack of a better explanation, I have developed a kind of arresting, commanding, imperial-bordering-on-imperious presence. It is, to say the least, strange.There's a girl named Mandy (<--- not her real name) in my AIS class. She's cute, and I've had a few conversations with her, but today when we talked she was quite obviously taken aback. I was dominant. I don't know if she has a boyfriend or a husband or a whatever, but, at least until I caught myself, I felt like a bear toying with his prey. I honestly believed I could have batted her around like a little... I dunno, whatever bears eat (fish?), and, if I had wanted to, pounced and consumed her like so much meat. This will go away, soon, but perhaps I should take advantage of it before I'm locked into an exclusive relationship. I seriously feel like I have superpowers right now. Yeah. It's pretty ****ed up.

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Okay, so the girl I'm dating -- despite having some admittedly disturbing sexual preferences -- has been amazing for my ego. The few times a woman has praised my performance, I've written it off as an obligatory politeness, a kind of civil, post-coital protocol. For some reason, despite my deep-seated self-loathing, I find myself in a very different place the last few days. I guess, for lack of a better explanation, I have developed a kind of arresting, commanding, imperial-bordering-on-imperious presence. It is, to say the least, strange.There's a girl named Mandy (<--- not her real name) in my AIS class. She's cute, and I've had a few conversations with her, but today when we talked she was quite obviously taken aback. I was dominant. I don't know if she has a boyfriend or a husband or a whatever, but, at least until I caught myself, I felt like a bear toying with his prey. I honestly believed I could have batted her around like a little... I dunno, whatever bears eat (fish?), and, if I had wanted to, pounced and consumed her like so much meat. This will go away, soon, but perhaps I should take advantage of it before I'm locked into an exclusive relationship. I seriously feel like I have superpowers right now. Yeah. It's pretty ****ed up.
bunnies, man. bunnies.trent and sue are very upset with you right now.
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Okay, so the girl I'm dating -- despite having some admittedly disturbing sexual preferences -- has been amazing for my ego. The few times a woman has praised my performance, I've written it off as an obligatory politeness, a kind of civil, post-coital protocol. For some reason, despite my deep-seated self-loathing, I find myself in a very different place the last few days. I guess, for lack of a better explanation, I have developed a kind of arresting, commanding, imperial-bordering-on-imperious presence. It is, to say the least, strange.
I was really hoping that was going to be a link to the ugliest little elf.
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There's a girl named Mandy (<--- not her real name) in my AIS class. She's cute, and I've had a few conversations with her, but today when we talked she was quite obviously taken aback. I was dominant. I don't know if she has a boyfriend or a husband or a whatever, but, at least until I caught myself, I felt like a bear toying with his prey. I honestly believed I could have batted her around like a little... I dunno, whatever bears eat (fish?), and, if I had wanted to, pounced and consumed her like so much meat.
Just think, that's probably what life is like all the time for guys that are dynamite in the sack. If only wishing made it so.
I was really hoping that was going to be a link to the ugliest little elf.
Snappy. beans, we need a cartoon of beans as the ugliest little elf with new, dark* sexual preferences.*er...you know what I mean
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It should also be noted that one of his best friends is our other roommate's girlfriend. They constantly hang out and go to chick flick movies together. The other day I walked into his room and he was watching "27 Dresses" by himself. Not the first time something like that has happened. Now, I really actually doubt that he is a closet homosexual but if ten years down the road somebody told me that he was gay, it wouldn't surprise me.Edit: I'd give it like a 15% chance of this happening. Also, he HATES cats.
Sounds like you live with a young Ron Mexico. To make sure see if he has had drunk sex with a Lesbian and faltered.
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