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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Okay fuck it. I'll say it.How much is it going to cost us to get this Speedz/Wang negro/stripper double date to happen? And fuck video feeds, I'm reserving a large table in the same restaurant for all the sickies thatwant to join in and watch preferably behind a soundproof glass. Hell, I'd probably get a job as waiter just for theevent. Or we could plant sickies at all the surrounding tables.

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i'm leaving work, but i'll reply to this after several imminent cocktails which should be more fun for all parties involved.
This never happened.So Easter Bunny is Randy Reed, huh? Was that common knowledge? I guess I never thought about it.
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This never happened.So Easter Bunny is Randy Reed, huh? Was that common knowledge? I guess I never thought about it.
Well, 37 posts over 2 years so it's not used that much. I was having computer trouble and didn't realize I had logged in with it until after I posted. IMAGINE MY EMBARRASSMENT!
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Now we need to go back and scrutinize all 37 posts.
Joey's already done it... just ask him for the report.
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God fucking dammit. I was going to put so much more effort into this joke than you were apparently willing to commit.
This doesn't sound like you... did a savings bond mature?
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This doesn't sound like you... did a savings bond mature?
I would love to have been a fly on the wall of your skull to have seen the thought process that took place between your reading of my post and clicking of "submit" after writing your reply. I mean, I know it has something to do with me being a jew, but I can't imagine what exactly it means or how you got there. My one guess is that the joke is that if a savings bond matured I would have some money and therefore be able to cut down on my non-existent work hours and focus on murdering the blackface joke. Am I warm?
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I would love to have been a fly on the wall of your skull to have seen the thought process that took place between your reading of my post and clicking of "submit" after writing your reply. I mean, I know it has something to do with me being a jew, but I can't imagine what exactly it means or how you got there. My one guess is that the joke is that if a savings bond matured I would have some money and therefore be able to cut down on my non-existent work hours and focus on murdering the blackface joke. Am I warm?
You NAILED it. (except I was just mainly thinking about how money=happiness=joking, and had little to nothing to do with your hours worked) I'm not totally sure that I liked the tone of your post however. While it's obvious that you love me, it made me feel stupid at the same time, which was confusing. I'll just assume that I'm WAY off on the condescension.You know you can't stay annoyed at me MattyKatz. I'm the lovable loser.
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You NAILED it. (except I was just mainly thinking about how money=happiness=joking, and had little to nothing to do with your hours worked) I'm not totally sure that I liked the tone of your post however. While it's obvious that you love me, it made me feel stupid at the same time, which was confusing. I'll just assume that I'm WAY off on the condescension.You know you can't stay annoyed at me MattyKatz. I'm the lovable loser.
I know my post had a tone, but I still meant it with love, which apparently came through ok. I'm glad that I did get the gist...what I missed what effort=happiness (I think). I'm very excited that I found a NyQuil without acetaminophen (sp)...I've had a few drinks and now can feel ok taking it so I can catch up on some sleep (I've been sick) without destroying my liver.
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I know my post had a tone, but I still meant it with love, which apparently came through ok. I'm glad that I did get the gist...what I missed what effort=happiness (I think). I'm very excited that I found a NyQuil without acetaminophen (sp)...I've had a few drinks and now can feel ok taking it so I can catch up on some sleep (I've been sick) without destroying my liver.
You're liver wishes you'd thought of him within the last decade. Also, your liver is a cat.
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short but sweet is where's its at, my man. just ask wang.
I've never been under the impression that Wang is all that happy with the results of his performance.
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Zimm: My brother was the last contestant on last night's Millionaire ep and resumes his run tonight.Raaaaaaaandy: Wow, everythings coming up money in the zimmy household. It would kinda suck if after all those years of hard work that yourbrother gets lucky enough to end up on a game show, answers a few questions about computer sims, graphic novels and such and wins morethan you thus stealing your thunder.me: it'd suck even more if I was gonna post a conversation about how his thunder was going to be stolen and then you just said how'd it suck if his thunder was stolen thus stealing my thunderEl G: huh?me2: just read the conversation within the conversationZimm Parents: did you hear about how Zimm Brother won $32,000 dollars on Millionaire!Zimm: you don't need to use the dollar sign and say dollars afterwards, it's redundant and wasteful of spaceZimm Parents: stop being all Speedz ParentsZimm: racistZimm Parents: anyway, why can't you do something like Zimm Brother?Zimm: I won like five times that a few weeks agoZimm Parents: Zimm Brother was on TVRaaaaaaaandy: PARTY LINE!speedz: I don't see how that was a jewish stereotypeEl G: I think you need to heed a certain Talking Heads albumspeedz: can I keep my socks on?Zimm: you didn't watch the show did you?me: I'm watching Mr. MomBatman: I'm not on TVme2: we're talking about this black guy who says "she" instead of "C"me: oh Canadame2: it's like Bill MaherEl G: huh?me: real timeme2: russian roulette?me: only if my best friend will playme2: she's a doctor!me: no no. she's from Marylandme2: she's a loser!Sal: me: what's with him?me2: Maryland is like Virginia's slightly cooler, richer, older cousinJoey: no one's gonna get this prior to Sal talking if they didn't watch millionaireme: Joey: no one's gonna get thisme:Joey: no news is good news

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On the drive home this evening I heard Hell's Bells on the radio. The first thought I had was "Hmm, I wonder what the BCC is?" Then I immediately modified it to "Hmm, I wonder what the BSNC is?"Jeebus, I need a life.
Both have been stuck on zero for the last couple days....Ive reached the point of what I call "beered out"It happens from time to time and usually follows an extreme overserving that results in what some call a hangover....in my case it was closer to a resurrection. I started mowing around ten am, drinking at ten fifteen, drained a box, worked on a car, drained another box, then played poker while draining another until midnightThirty six total for those of you keeping score.... Im ashamed to count the random ones taken from the Coke machine throughout the dayIm still way behind a buddy of mine who emptied ninety cans of Milwaukees Best one Saturday.... Hes an ex circus clown so we understand his reasons for wanting to die youngYeah, I probably need one as well because while driving home this evening I thought up a good toon for Wangs new thread..... Doubt if I draw it though.... all this water is giving me heartburn
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beans, if I had my pcv valve changed because of a sticking gas pedal (only on the first push after the car has been parked for a while like when I leave in the morning or go home at night) I should notice a big difference right away, right? I mean I think it's better but only slightly.

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beans, if I had my pcv valve changed because of a sticking gas pedal (only on the first push after the car has been parked for a while like when I leave in the morning or go home at night) I should notice a big difference right away, right? I mean I think it's better but only slightly.
Only if they cleaned the throttle body at the same time the valve was changed....Most pcv valves vent from the valve cover to directly behind the throttle body butterfly.... the "gunk" they discharge builds up behind the plate(s) and cause the sticking symptomIts easy enough to do yourself.... buy a can of Gumout or similar carb cleaner, remove the intake hose or air cleaner housing from the throttle body, and manually open and close the butterfly with you hand while spraying inside the housing. Dont use a large amount at one time.... about a five second burst before starting the car and running it a minute or two before repeating the process will keep it from backfiring and blowing the muffler up or something. A squirt or two of Whiskey Delta forty (WD40) on the exterior linkage after doing that will solve the problem for another ten years or soAnd yeah, Im drawing the toon in a few minutes
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