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I Called In Sick Today


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These things gotta happen every five years or so, ten years. Helps to get rid of the bad blood. Been ten years since the last one. You know, you gotta stop them at the beginning.
Maybe I could help.
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Maybe I could help.
Maybe you can, speedz, maybe you can.So how 'bout that Nikki? She's really skinn- Hmm, you're no help here. Hey Sal, come here.So Sal, how 'bout that jeff? Can't even find a jo- This is no good. Jubi! Help me out. We need an army member to insult. Who's that one guy, who, um, does the stuff...I can't remember his name...um......
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Ha, I ragged on my kids endlessly not to get one for fear that they would regret it later. Now that they're older I could care less though trying to get a professional job and having skulls and dragons go down your arms does limit the opportunities. I figured thatsince i'm almost grown up now I might as well get one and freak them out, which worked, lol.Oh no you don't. Mine has music and literature and the one of the oldest mythological and religous symbols. Oh hell, I'll tell the story.On Rush's latest album, Snakes and Arrows Neil Peart made up the name as a semi-offshoot of the game Chutes and Ladders. The opening linein one song was, "The Snakes and Arrows a child is heir to is enough to leave a thousand cuts" After all the recording was done and they looked to name the album they had to do some google searching to see if the name was available copyright wise.To his amazement they found out that the oldest known game in the world (Hindi) was called Snakes and Arrows and involved a board with pieces and as you moved around the board you achieved a higher conciousness, though no one is sure what they were smoking. :smileythingy:The Ouroboros is one of the oldest symbols as I mentioned and has been used by many cultures symbolizing all kinds of things like rebirth etc.Neil has a bunch of books that he has written and I think an Army gal, babe or something has read them. They are a mixture of travel book/motorcylce tours/ reminiscing and social commentary and pretty interesting books with alot of insight into the songs and where they come about. When they made the arrow symbol Neil kept thinking to himself how the snakey arrow looked like the arrow on roadsigns that were constantly warning him about the danger ofcurvey roads ahead. On the live album they incorporated the same arrow on a roadsign. Neil has a great sense of humor and with that in mind it was a no brainer in picking that as the tatoo. It's packed full of cool references and yet mostly a ton of humor albiet very few would get that part.Oh and yep, it hurt like hell. The pic was about an hour after I got it and it looks alot better now with alot more detail. Oh lord this cracked me up.
You win.
So I had some sex last night. I probably clock in around the 50th percentile as a sexual performer. I don't have any real go-to moves, but I'm familiar enough with the anatomy and can pick up on the cues, so as long as I manage expectations ("yeah, I've got really small hands for a guy my size, and I only wear a size 10 shoe"; "I smoke a pack a day, so I don't exactly have much in the way of cardiovascular stamina anymore... actually, I don't have much of ANY kind of stamina"), most women only end up mildly disappointed.The new girl, however, is... it's like a dream come true. This is a brag post, but not in the "check out how awesome I am" style , but instead in the fashion of "check out how incredibly lucky I got tracking down this one." She had 7 orgasms during our first encounter. SEVEN. Perhaps she faked 7 orgasms, but before things got too heavy, she pulled away and said, "Hey, don't freak out, but I'm really sensitive." What are you talking about? "You'll see." Well, holy crap. I mean, I'm accustomed to working my ass off to get to one, and she was popping off like a bag of Orville Redenbacher. Wang: "What was that? Was that... I mean, my ego isn't so fragile you have to, like, pretend I'm some kind of super-stud."Her: (embarrassed) "I'm... I told you I was... you know."Holy. Fucking. Crap. I mean, this is my dream come true. I don't even have to do anything.Furthermore, before we were going to sleep, I was goofing around on my laptop, and somehow we got to talking about Monte Carlo simulations. She asked me to walk her through one, so I obliged. When I started explaining the way I handled net present value and DeadCapital time, she jumped me, and there were five more orgasms. (I asked her specifically, and she gave me the count.)Wang: "Where did that come from?"Her: "I'm really turned on by nerdiness." Alright, what is going on. Did one of you, as a brilliantly-executed practical joke, find a girl and give her a dossier on me or something? After the sex, we started talking about nerdy books we've read. Her: "I like graphic novels. Watchmen is probably the best, but my absolute favorite is..."Wang: "Hold up. This might be awesome. I'm going to go to my junk drawer and pull out a graphic novel, and if it's your favorite of all time you're going to be soooo impressed."Her: "Okay...."Wang: (has book behind back) "Okay. Tell me."Her: "Y: The Last Man. You've probably never even heard of it."Wang: (pulls Y: The Last Man out from behind his back) "That's right."Her: "???"Wang: "I'm fucking psychic."I'm fucking psychic.
vnh, sir
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Oh, I thought we were going to play the Godfather quote game for a while. No worries though, it's cool.
I think movie quotes/song lyrics are useful in illustrating a point or making a joke, but I prefer to avoid strings of it.Except whenever SA21 starts posting Sneakers quotes. That always sucks me in.But I should've known you wouldn't want to start a war. You've gone soft, what with having a girlfriend and all.Yeah, I don't know what that means either.
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Maybe you can, speedz, maybe you can.So how 'bout that Nikki? She's really skinn- Hmm, you're no help here. Hey Sal, come here.So Sal, how 'bout that jeff? Can't even find a jo- This is no good. Jubi! Help me out. We need an army member to insult. Who's that one guy, who, um, does the stuff...I can't remember his name...um......
Well, I'm skinny and nerdy and multiply orgasmic. Apparently I don't have too many haters in those categories.But...I'm also vain, weepy, and overtly sexual and feeling very old and pathetic lately. Does this help?
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Oh, I thought we were going to play the Godfather quote game for a while. No worries though, it's cool.
I read all of your posts lately in a content, almost sad tone. I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing.
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My brother was the last contestant on last night's Millionaire ep and resumes his run tonight.I hurt my wrist bad this weekend by falling on it when blackout drunk. Going to get an MRI tonight to see if something's fractured, hopefully its just a sprain.

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I think movie quotes/song lyrics are useful in illustrating a point or making a joke, but I prefer to avoid strings of it.Except whenever SA21 starts posting Sneakers quotes. That always sucks me in.
I can get behind both of these notions.
Well, I'm skinny and nerdy and multiply orgasmic. Apparently I don't have too many haters in those categories.I'm also vain, weepy, and overtly sexual and feeling very old and pathetic lately. Does this help?
I'm not sure if it helps, exactly, but it sure doesn't hurt.
I read all of your posts lately in a content, almost sad tone. I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing.
I have no idea how to reconcile the idea that when I'm content I seem sad. Does anger seem to make me happy?Because it does.I just realized that she is my girlfriend. How do I know? I had an elaborate daydream about what would happen if her plane crashed today. How's that for content yet sad?
I hurt my wrist bad this weekend by falling on it when blackout drunk.
Was it your dominant wrist? I could sure use a good story about the perils of attempting to learn to rub one out using good ol' lefty. Or good ol' righty if you're a freak.
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I have no idea how to reconcile the idea that when I'm content I seem sad. Does anger seem to make me happy?Because it does.I just realized that she is my girlfriend. How do I know? I had an elaborate daydream about what would happen if her plane crashed today. How's that for content yet sad?
It's like your posts are stoned.
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I'm also vain, weepy, and overtly sexual and feeling very old and pathetic lately. Does this help?
I was sort of scrolling through and I thought I read "veiny." Which would've been kind of gross.Anyway,10 Members: qyayqi, navybuttons, SAM_Hard8, Plus one, tall0n, king_tanner, Fubar The Sperm, speedz99, loogie, uncooperqyayqi - Ooh, look at me, I can summarize a thread using cats. Plus, that name. Seriously. I refuse to believe anybody calls him anything but "Q" or "Quacky."navybuttons - Pretends to act like he's some kind of deep thinker, but really he just doesn't want to face the cold, hard truth.SAM_Hard8 - Inexplicably married.Plus one - Decided on a name that symbolizes bad posting.tall0n - Everybody just calls him "tallon" anyway, so you might as well use an "o" instead of a zero there.Fubar The Sperm - Capitalizing "The" was a bad choice.speedz99 - Doesn't go with the flow. loogie - Destined to a life as the guy who heckles the stand-up comedian with his punchy one-liners rather than being the stand-up comedian.uncooper - Surprisingly underrated.
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I was sort of scrolling through and I thought I read "veiny." Which would've been kind of gross.Anyway,10 Members: qyayqi, navybuttons, SAM_Hard8, Plus one, tall0n, king_tanner, Fubar The Sperm, speedz99, loogie, uncooperqyayqi - Ooh, look at me, I can summarize a thread using cats. Plus, that name. Seriously. I refuse to believe anybody calls him anything but "Q" or "Quacky."navybuttons - Pretends to act like he's some kind of deep thinker, but really he just doesn't want to face the cold, hard truth.SAM_Hard8 - Inexplicably married.Plus one - Decided on a name that symbolizes bad posting.tall0n - Everybody just calls him "tallon" anyway, so you might as well use an "o" instead of a zero there.Fubar The Sperm - Capitalizing "The" was a bad choice.speedz99 - Doesn't go with the flow. loogie - Destined to a life as the guy who heckles the stand-up comedian with his punchy one-liners rather than being the stand-up comedian.uncooper - Surprisingly underrated.
has it been a year already?
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So you all have my sincere thanks for causing me to risk my job, go hungry, and smell like ass. : heart :
Glad we could help.
Well, I'm skinny and nerdy and multiply orgasmic. Apparently I don't have too many haters in those categories.But...I'm also vain, weepy, and overtly sexual and feeling very old and pathetic lately. Does this help?
Umm, maybe Wang can help?
My brother was the last contestant on last night's Millionaire ep and resumes his run tonight.I hurt my wrist bad this weekend by falling on it when blackout drunk. Going to get an MRI tonight to see if something's fractured, hopefully its just a sprain.
Wow, everythings coming up money in the zimmy household. It would kinda suck if after all those years of hard work that yourbrother gets lucky enough to end up on a game show, answers a few questions about computer sims, graphic novels and such and wins morethan you thus stealing your thunder.
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The real reason I stopped posting here can be exemplified in the last 24 hours.Yesterday, I was reading it at work. My office is semi-private. Just semi. There was a large picture of breasts on the page. I cannot risk opening a page that contains that at work.This morning, I am reading it before I leave for work. I am now 20 minutes late to jump in the shower, and will likely miss my bus or skip breakfast.So you all have my sincere thanks for causing me to risk my job, go hungry, and smell like ass. : heart :
Go into 'my controls' and then 'board settings' and you can turn off all pictures in posts, avatars, and in signatures. It's really quite easy. My work computer has everything turned off, my home computer has everything turned on.
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My brother was the last contestant on last night's Millionaire ep and resumes his run tonight.I hurt my wrist bad this weekend by falling on it when blackout drunk. Going to get an MRI tonight to see if something's fractured, hopefully its just a sprain.
What channel does that air on these days?
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Go to "google" and search "who wants be millionaire." It's really quite easy.
Actually, with all the syndication I figured it would be more troublesome than it was worth... but thanks for the help, *******.Side Note: Clean your damn house... or at least make the new girl do it. Make a joke about getting your moneys worth when Obama forces you to pay reparations.EDIT: I took your advice and got NOWHERE!
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YESwe finally got that religious ******
(Megasweet high-five)
Side Note: Clean your damn house... or at least make the new girl do it. Make a joke about getting your moneys worth when Obama forces you to pay reparations.EDIT: I took your advice and got NOWHERE!
You guys might not believe this, but I spent ~3 hours cleaning my house, top to bottom. The "mess" you see is my couch, which was clean when she arrived, some papers on a nook in the "dining room," and a bag of charcoal that was used for a purpose I don't feel comfortable discussing. She was very surprised that my house was clean and habitable. I made sure, however, that she did not open my bedroom closet, as it was stuffed with clothing piled 4 feet high. And some trash. Seriously, though: spo-fucking-otless
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