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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Let's cast another movie.How 'bout Pulp Fiction?Vincent Vega: charming, doesn't like being ordered around, can blow when he gets in the red (beans)Jules Winnfield: bad ass motherfucker, pretty much a vegetarian, the talker (Wang)Marsellus Wallace: contemplates the if's, gets medieval (Randy)Mia Wallace: out of work actor, good date (loogie)Hunny Bunny: LGPumpkin: strategyLance: a friend (speedz)Butch: underestimated, sentimental (Ron)Marvin: shot in the face (turd)Captain Koons: good storyteller (run)Jimmie: black friends, black wife (Bear)The Wolf: takes care of things (Sickinfo2)I considered casting Zed and the Gimp, but BigD doesn't really post here.
I'd probably be Brad.
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I guess I won't be cast in any of these movies until we get to a william h. macy or philip seymore hoffman flick.
Should we do The Big Lebowski next?
Preseason football tonight. I might even drink some beer. All this health crap and exercising is getting old if I can't enjoy it.
Are you really going to watch preseason football?
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Are you really going to watch preseason football?
Normally I'm with ya, and Hard Knocks is probably exponentially more interesting than the Bengals preseason games themselves, but Brady coming back last night and having most of the first team offense vs the Eagles first team for the whole first half was actually enjoyable.
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ow: my pride.
Well...you could be Steve.
Yes. Also, I think this is the first time I've been given a role in a sickie movie. Since I haven't posted for awhile and I'm sure you have all been wondering with baited breath, here is a little life update:At work, people are no longer suspicious that I am taking their jobs and have started conversing with me. I'm 35% certain that one of the cuter girls is flirting with me. I think they only hire 18+ too, so I should maybe try to learn her name?Since moving into my new apartment with some friends, we have been a fair amount of partying. We have some hot neighbors, so that's good. I think one of my roommates might be a closet homosexual after our first party when some hot girl told a mutual friend that she wanted to get with him that night and he somehow managed to not close (he decided to go get pizza with a group of us guys instead) that night (more than week ago) and has yet to do anything about it. I'll let you know if I wakeup to him cuddling me some night.
I concur with the others - that doesn't make him gay, just a wuss. I should know, since I'm not gay. I think.I am aware what poor etiquette I am showing by quoting too far back. Not like I'd contribute anything if I made a real post instead though, so no harm.I made $22 catching up on this thread. I like working unsupervised overtime.Anyone want to have sex?
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YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?Very nice...are there more? I didn't see a way to get to additional awesomeness.
the others were too game-specific and not as funny.
Actually Strat's title is Poker Forum God, brv's is something about how he is a communist or something.
I actually don't have a title. That's the default once you get to a certain level. I was surprised to see it there after I thought I'd cleared mine off.seriously, not kidding.
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Yes. I have tentative plans to go today. When I saw that robot snatch that rocket out of the air, well, it might have just as well been my heart.I noticed Brvheart's title: Poker forum God. Here's a new name for you, Brv: Blasphemous Holy Roller.
Screw up aside, it has been noted for the future.
You have bear/wang playing two parts.
Wang and Beans both have two parts, and probably qualify for more. I don't get a part, unless a character says something about Jesus.
I did not know where to put this but given Wang and Brv's feelings on the issue.....apparently, Landon Donovan has the swine flu. Presumably, he caught it while in Mexico for the WC qualifier.edit: nope, the article on cnnsi.com says he caught it while still in the US.
Did somebody say swine flu?
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Can somebody explain to me what a cervix is? Nikki maybe?
:shrug:I can.Its a small tendon like organ at the base of a woman's uterus. It keeps the uterus mostly closed during all times except childbirth - mostly to prevent unwanted bacteria from entering the uterus itself. It thins itself via hormone inducement during labor and opens to allow the baby to exit the uterus and enter the vaginal canal for childbirth.And that's how you got here, kid.
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So I'm pretty drunk right now, and don't fee; like stopping drinking.How much of an idiot do I look like to go to a bar by myself. Especially if it is a local bar and some people will probably know me.

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So I'm pretty drunk right now, and don't fee; like stopping drinking.How much of an idiot do I look like to go to a bar by myself. Especially if it is a local bar and some people will probably know me.
Meh. I do it all the time. Of course, I also go to movies, concerts, and Vegas by myself. I'm sensing there's a pattern here...
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Meh. I do it all the time. Of course, I also go to movies, concerts, and Vegas by myself. I'm sensing there's a pattern here...
Yeh... I do the same stuff.Only problem with Vegas is that I like the nice restaurants. It feels weird eating by yourself.
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Are you really going to watch preseason football?
I watch the Pats preseason games. I don't get all riled up about them, but I like to at least have them on in the backround and watch a few series...es.
I hope you are not asking because of HPV.
He's probably asking because his new lady claims his average sized cock is banging against her cervix, and he's not sure what to think of that.
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Tomorrow I have to go to a baby shower for some couple we are friends with. How gay is it that they invite the men. I mean, I understand if the women need to do these things but there is really no reason to drag us into this. The fact that they call it a "jack and jill" shower also makes me want to wrap up a nice hard turd for their baby. With a pink bow on it, since it's a girl.

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The fact that they call it a "jack and jill" shower also makes me want to wrap up a nice hard turd for their baby.
I thought that those were just "give us money" parties for poor couples before their wedding.
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He's probably asking because his new lady claims his average sized cock is banging against her cervix, and he's not sure what to think of that.
No, it's not that at all. It's something different. On a completely unrelated note, what would it mean if somebody's penis were banging up against somebody else's cervix? Is that an angle thing?
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Vincent Vega: charming, doesn't like being ordered around, can blow when he gets in the red (beans)
Once again Im very pleased with my character choice...Plus the dancing scene inside Jack Rabbit Slims always brings a smile to my faceIn other news, I finally figured out how to email pics to my photobucket account....Heres the Beans method for changing a tire.... notice how the neighbors and other helpful bystanders jumped in to assist while I took the pics. Also take note of Shanes ability to work without spilling his beerflat1.jpgflat2.jpg
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Actually, even more importantly, that can't feel good, right? The ole' Cervix Bang? Is it painful?
it can be, yes. it is possible to have organs of mismatched length / depth. use a position that doesn't penetrate quite as deeply....just a guess.
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it can be, yes. it is possible to have organs of mismatched length / depth. use a position that doesn't penetrate quite as deeply....just a guess.
Yeah well my new girlfriend is black so most of the guys she's banged have way bigger penises than you. In your face. Victory: Tactical Bear.
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I thought that those were just "give us money" parties for poor couples before their wedding.
god I hate this trend. it's a trend isn't it? it wasn't always like this was it? but yeah, every one of my friends and acquaintances that has gotten married has had like 6 freaking parties before the wedding, and god DAMN if they get knocked up. 8 parties before it's born, 20 afterward. couple I know just had a SIX MONTH BIRTHDAY PARTY for their kids. oooh fuck my cock.
On a completely unrelated note, what would it mean if somebody's penis were banging up against somebody else's cervix? Is that an angle thing?
in my experience, once you get in and your penis is mostly in her uterus, it doesn't hurt her much any more. have to watch out for the stomach acid during anal sex though.oh snaps yo.
flat1.jpg
what in the sam hill are you drinking? looks like either a beast light or a miller lite from 1983.
Yeah well my new girlfriend is black so most of the guys she's banged have way bigger penises than you. In your face. Victory: Tactical Bear.
Inigo.jpg(I know that's the joke fucktard. I like this picture. and making fun of your penis.)
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