I Called In Sick Today

[speedz99 145]

ONLY BECAUSE IT'S YOU...(I would have posted it originally anyways, but the page screwed up and I lost my post)My current things I do:- Play poker - meh- Ride the horse (my job) - horses scare me- Play video games - meh- Study - ew- Work on golf game - that's a good one...but will done anyways, and therefore is not eligible (eligable?) for this contest- Make to-do lists - I should do that- Workout - see "Work on golf game"- Think about playing my guitar - see "Workout"

Thanks for trying. Oh, and if "ride the horse" is a euphamism, feel free to clue me in and maybe it'll be worthy of consideration.

[Napa_Don 688]

Thanks for trying. Oh, and if "ride the horse" is a euphamism, feel free to clue me in and maybe it'll be worthy of consideration.

Nope, really means to ride a horse, which I get paid to do. $13/hr. Like I said, that list is just what I do. And drink.Edit: I also play an inordinate amount of ping-pong and think about playing a lot of pool so I can look cool at the bars.

[mclumpo 0]

Yes, finale$70 on $320Fine, I didn't reread the post before hitting send. SUE ME. If you had any idea how much I drank on Friday night, you'd realize that I'm lucky to be standing upright, even today. Sooooo, you and your grammar police partner LG can FUCK right OFF.

[speedz99 145]

Nope, really means to ride a horse, which I get paid to do. $13/hr. Like I said, that list is just what I do. And drink.Edit: I also play an inordinate amount of ping-pong and think about playing a lot of pool so I can look cool at the bars.

Innnnnteresting. I'm already good at pool, but we have a table in my house that we never use, so if I wanted I could become very very good at pool. This is an option.

[Poppy_Hillis 11]

Photography. Some girls think it's creepy, but most girls love it as long as you're not creepy about it. I've always wanted to start doing it but I think I'd get bored pretty easily.

[speedz99 145]

Photography. Some girls think it's creepy, but most girls love it as long as you're not creepy about it. I've always wanted to start doing it but I think I'd get bored pretty easily.

It's a good idea, but I just don't have the energy to try as hard as I would have to try to become interested in something I have absolutely no interest in. If that makes any sense.

[LadyGrey 6]

The best idea will be given at least a 2 week trial. I'll check out all of the responses, post a list, and let you all vote for what I should try out. Then I'll possibly overule you and choose my favorite.Over/under is 2 people giving me ideas.

I will suggest embroidery. It is fun and creative.Other ideas: * Tasting different cheeses and rating them. I like cheese, and there are many different kinds to experiment with.* Illegally downloading music and movies. I do this a lot and you can spend a lot of time doing it if you want to.* Reading or writing or both. You could read books or short stories. Or you could write your own stuff, perhaps in a blog or something. Or you could do both.* Cooking. I know you do this already, but you could take it further by trying a new recipe every week (or more often) or compiling recipes into a folder for future reference... or both.* Welding. This seems like something men do, and you are male. Also: chainsawing. Sal tells me this is a popular manly pursuit.* Exercise. You could come up with some kind of regiment and get into shape. Not so fun, but if you do it routinely it's probably the best for you, and if you decide to do the cheese tasting thing it may be a good counter-action.

[Poppy_Hillis 11]

It's a good idea, but I just don't have the energy to try as hard as I would have to try to become interested in something I have absolutely no interest in. If that makes any sense.

Perfect sense. It's why I don't do it.Ballroom Dancing- girls swoon for guys that can rumba and salsa and all that shitBoxing- get in great shape while becoming tougher; preparing you for that inevitable time when you have to physically defend your family in an altercationPiano- for when you meet your future in-laws for the first time at their house and impromptuitively woo them by your piano skills, like Will did with Uncle Phil his first night in Bel Air

[speedz99 145]

Ideas.

Thanks. Here are some thoughts about your thoughts.I will suggest embroidery. It is fun and creative.-I may have shed a tear while reading a James Herriot book tonight, but I swear I'm not quite that gay.Other ideas: * Tasting different cheeses and rating them. I like cheese, and there are many different kinds to experiment with.-I love cheese, but can't see this taking up as much time as I'd need it to. I'd like one, maybe two hobbies...a dozen small ones will be too much for me.* Reading or writing or both. You could read books or short stories. Or you could write your own stuff, perhaps in a blog or something. Or you could do both.-I do read, and will be doing it more often, especially after enjoying being tv-less for my vacation. I wouldn't write a blog because nobody cares about what I think, and I'm not good enough to write anything else, so I think that won't be an option for me.* Cooking. I know you do this already, but you could take it further by trying a new recipe every week (or more often) or compiling recipes into a folder for future reference... or both.-I like this idea. * Welding. This seems like something men do, and you are male. Also: chainsawing. Sal tells me this is a popular manly pursuit.-I'm not quite embroidery gay, but I'm also not quite welding straight.* Exercise. You could come up with some kind of regiment and get into shape. -Already part of my routine.

Perfect sense. It's why I don't do it.

Ballroom Dancing- girls swoon for guys that can rumba and salsa and all that shit -Good idea, but my work schedule doesn't permit regularly scheduled classes...I never know what days or nights I'll be working until the week of.Boxing- get in great shape while becoming tougher; preparing you for that inevitable time when you have to physically defend your family in an altercation -Interesting, but unlikely. Finding the time (work schedule again), money, and location would be tough. Very interesting though.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Keith. Come on, man. That's juxtapositional humor. You see, I wrote one thing ("I am masculine"), and right next to that statement, I wrote something that belied my initial statement. It was tongue-in-cheek, man. You're a hippy; you should get this stuff. The entire post was written as a defense of my masculinity, but peppered with evidence to the contrary. Apparently you do NOT see what I did there. I'm losing my touch, I guess. With respect to variance and risk of ruin.My argument would look something like this:In a vacuum, sacrificing equity is ALWAYS a bad thing. If we ignore the fact that we have a 1x to win 50x stake on a position, would we ever suggest taking a side that is unprofitable is, somehow, going to lead to increased profits in the longrun? Of course not. In the longrun, we'd rather have 20x than 17x, and if we have a properly conservative bankroll and run a simulation, we'd end up with LESS money by taking the 17x 100% of the time than the 50x 40% of the time, even when we account for compounding one's bankroll. Remember, we're going to have hundreds of these long-term positions over the course of our career. Simply put, a player with an expected ROI of 4% is less likely to go broke than a player with an expected ROI of 2%, assuming both player's use the same bankroll, and follow equally conservative paths. I can't see how giving money away could EVER decrease one's risk of ruin in the long run. The same thing applies to poker. I used to hear people suggest playing a swingier, more-profitable game was more likely to lead to going broke than playing a conservative, less-profitable style. That's simply not true. The biggest way to increase your RoR is to play a less-profitable style (or put your entire roll in play, but we're not suggesting that). I could build a model, I think, but it seems pretty inutitive to me that decreasing profits to decrease "variance" is counterproductive, both in terms of longterm profits (obviously), AND long-term risk.With Respect to the Double Hatted Deuce:Yeah, she's a keeper. I think she's got something for everybody. A sense of humor for JBrad, insecurity for Wang, a 2-year-old son for Shake, etc. Too bad I am wholly unlovable. I will simple leave her sexually frustrated until I've exhausted her patience. Second go-round should last me all of 3 more weeks, I'd wager.

that's weird, i thought you had a blackberry.

My songs were the only two songs with female singers.Song 3- "Apple Orchard" by Beach HouseSong whatever - "Benton Harbor Blues" by the Fiery FurnacesEDIT- I believe my choices, specifically the Fiery Furnaces track, were roundly criticized.

hey dude, i'm not that fat.

[Sickinfo2 291]

Well, you have been pretty clear about being cheap except for certain things in your life.I like to spend a little money on a nice experience. I like to dress up occasionally. T-shirts and sneakers are cool, but I like a nice suit, or a nice shirt and a good pair of pants or jeans. I like making a meal on the grill, but I like the experience of a nice place. To each his own, I suppose.

I must apologize for my earlier comments.... somehow my mixtures of hot and spicy V8 and beer led me to believe it was three twenty (plus seventy) just for you.....A Ben and a half each isnt too far outta line for a good mealAt least I riled up a rant from yaAnd yeah, I have some sort of disorder about spending. I wouldnt call it being cheap because I spend like a madman on things I probably shouldntTwo grand more for a variable vane turbo and water to air intercooler?..... Send itTwo by eight joists are fine for the deck?...... Lets go two by twelve insteadLost my ass shooting dice at fifty a shot?.... Ill jack it up to black for a whilePort engine running a little warm?.... Shoot the mixture to it and add a few gallons per hour to the tripAnd on the flip sideCaller ID is three fucking bucks more?..... You gotta be kidding meWhy is this gallon of milk nine cents more?.....Ill get the otherThese holes in my jeans are probably in style.... cant see my ass too much can ya?By one get one free?....Ill take one at half price, pleaseCable went up five percent?.... Screw you guys, Im switching to satellite.... Satellite went up five, too?.... Cancel that shit, Im ordering a FTA box and get it for freeRants are fun

So I've decided that, somehow, I've become bored with working 26 hours a week and spending the rest of my time napping.

I only wish I had that much interrupted free time....If I did, heres what I would doSet up a lemonade stand and offer the most vile mixture imaginable. Video the reactions and post to YouTubeSit on the corner and sell maps to the stars homes. Stars meaning anyone who has pissed me off in the pastBuild a sixty foot limousine bicycle and slowly cross the street at the busiest intersection in town. Repeat Return empty bags of potato chips and Coke bottles to the grocery storeGlue down fifty cent pieces in WalMart checkouts and watch folks lose fingernails from the SubwayOk, so maybe I do have some time to kill once in a while

-I'm not quite embroidery gay, but I'm also not quite welding straight.

This was gold

[Sal Paradise 57]

ok, maybe this is too personal, but at this point, I really need to know what you make. Feel free to PM here or on Facebook

That's not personal at all. Sal, just post it in the thread.

well, just put it this way: unemployment wouldn't be much of a pay cut. and it's not the area I live in either, it's just that I'm considerably stupid and unqualified for anything. all of my friends make quite a bit more than me.

My corps of friends pull all sorts of dirty trick to pay the bill, including but not limited to:

but really though, where the hell do you guys get this kind of money to spend three hundred bucks on a meal and just be ok with that? I mean I'm pretty cheap and all, and a nice meal is pretty much the last thing I'd spend a lot of money on (not that there's anything wrong with other people doing it), but even if I did I'd have to sell my damn vehicle to do that. damn.

Over/under is 2 people giving me ideas.

train for a 10k or triathlon or something.get one of the rosetta stone language packs and learn a new language. something crazy like mandarin or something.I'll think of more later.

Just now as I was brushing my teeth in the dorm bathrooms, a girl came and stood at the sink next to me and proceeded to squeeze blackheads on her face for the next few minutes until I left. This is something I would do in private rather than in front of a stranger, but I'm wondering if that is just my English prudishness and maybe girls here do that sort of thing in front of each other. I've also come across a jar of wax in the bathroom before (unattended) so I think perhaps that is just how American girls act.

Cleveland Brown

haha, I love that show.

[Sickinfo2 291]

but really though, where the hell do you guys get this kind of money to spend three hundred bucks on a meal and just be ok with that?

Yeah, you could go para sailing with that kinda dough....

[Voldemort 0]

Yeah, you could go para sailing with that kinda dough....

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to early in the morn for this pic.Well done though.

[Sal Paradise 57]

I don't think I've ever seen anything funnier.

[leftygolfer 7]

PSA:http://www.bryansfinefoods.com/While the steaks are on the expensive side from there, they absolutely rock. There are other things like a wagyu rib cap that isn't on there that was amazing that I had last week. It's well worth ordering a steak from flannery at least once

ooh la la

You shouldn't end sentences with prepositions.NY? OC's where it's at

Kelly something on NY is fooking hot. OC is nothing but fake boobs and blondes (not that there is anything wrong with that)

to be honest, I don't often eat steak because it is priced ridiculously at most places around here. hmmm... $7 for a burger, or $23 for a KC strip?

apples and oranges young man

whooooohoooooo MSU

5 final 4's in the last 11 years...pretty impressive.FTBTHS

I rented Role Models today and enjoyed it, so I looked up what that crew of actors is up to next. After some browsing I saw that Seth Rogan was going to be the Green Hornet, and thought I remembered the filming was already finished, so I looked up the trailer.

no linkthis is the Green Hornet I remember

I don't think I've ever seen anything funnier.

in the team picture for funniest>>>>>>

[speedz99 145]

Build a sixty foot limousine bicycle and slowly cross the street at the busiest intersection in town. Repeat

I'd need training wheels to keep such a contraption upright while riding slowly...which would be embarrassing.

train for a 10k or triathlon or something.

This is a good idea, but unrealistic because I hate running way too much. I'll consider it though.

get one of the rosetta stone language packs and learn a new language. something crazy like mandarin or something.

This is one of the leaders at the moment. Maybe not something crazy, but a language I'd actually be able to use...

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I must apologize for my earlier comments....

Don't ever do that, not to me. You know better. You know I can handle it.

well, just put it this way: unemployment wouldn't be much of a pay cut. and it's not the area I live in either, it's just that I'm considerably stupid and unqualified for anything. all of my friends make quite a bit more than me.but really though, where the hell do you guys get this kind of money to spend three hundred bucks on a meal and just be ok with that? I mean I'm pretty cheap and all, and a nice meal is pretty much the last thing I'd spend a lot of money on (not that there's anything wrong with other people doing it), but even if I did I'd have to sell my damn vehicle to do that. damn.

First off, I'm gonna need numbers. Also, I'd like to see a breakdown of your debits and credits.Second, I did spend too much money on Friday. Whenever I go out drinking, it's at least $100. I'm stupid.Oh, I'm off from work all week, with pay. I may go to the beach. South Beach, or Palm Beach

[Tactical Bear 3]

but really though, where the hell do you guys get this kind of money to spend three hundred bucks on a meal and just be ok with that? I mean I'm pretty cheap and all, and a nice meal is pretty much the last thing I'd spend a lot of money on (not that there's anything wrong with other people doing it), but even if I did I'd have to sell my damn vehicle to do that. damn.

I drive a 1997 Chevrolet Lumina, purchased used (paid in cash) 2 years ago. My rent is about 300/month. Cable, electricity, gas, etc. comes out to about another 300/month. Call it 200 a month for food, and we're up to an even 800/month.I make about 500/week working, getting me to about 2K/month. I put aside about 800/month towards random bills (like school), and that leaves me with like 400 left over. That 400 gets fucking BLOWN, man. That money does not go into the bank. It does not pass Go, and collect 1.5% annual interest in a money-market account. It gets spent on making sure the people around me have a good time.I earn a little making book, playing cards, and betting on sports, too. That money ALSO gets blown. When I've had a good month, I might sock a little away, but the rest goes towards surprising my friends with presents and free vacations and shit, because whenever I'm stone broke, they do the same for me. I try to keep my checking account around 2,000, and about 1,000 in a savings account for emergencies, and -- if those balances are fine -- I effing spend. I am almost always poor, but I will never, ever worry about money. I am not going to stress about spending if I've got the cash to blow, because tomorrow I'm going to wake up and have kids and a wife, or be dead (in which case: I won't be waking up).Wang

[brvheart 1,752]

Just now as I was brushing my teeth in the dorm bathrooms, a girl came and stood at the sink next to me and proceeded to squeeze blackheads on her face for the next few minutes until I left. This is something I would do in private rather than in front of a stranger, but I'm wondering if that is just my English prudishness and maybe girls here do that sort of thing in front of each other. I've also come across a jar of wax in the bathroom before (unattended) so I think perhaps that is just how American girls act.

This is normal American girl behavior.

it isn't hard for iowa to be way better than everyone thinks.

touche

My teacher is always making derogatory comments about Iowa. Sounds like it's just stupid farmers up there.

This only proves that Iowa is better. Nobody kicks a baby seal, they grumble about the awesome bully. I'm actually surprised to hear that. Nobody hear talks about Kansas at all. As I'm sure Napa can attest... it's usually Iowa vs. Minnesota, or Iowa vs. Missouri. The state of Iowa is made up of 99 counties in like 9 equal tiers from north to south. In the early 90's our governor got in trouble for saying that if you "cut off the bottom 2 tiers of counties and gave them to Missouri... the IQ in BOTH states would go up". He was right.Nobody here ever talks crap about Kansas though.

Hey, it's an idea. Not a realistic one for me, since I've killed every fish I've ever owned...that last ones by assuming that saltines would be an adequate substitute for their food when I ran out (it was a freshwater tank)...but I appreciate the effort.

I believe I mentioned research. I could help you out as well, if you thought salt water fish were cool. (they are) I like the language idea though. That would be beneficial for the rest of your life.

Why is Iowa windy?Because Missouri sucks and Minnesota blows.I'm not infatuated with Iowa as much as brv is, but I think it's a pretty decent place to grow up. I made a list for speedz but then saw that none of them would do nothing for him.

hahah, I didn't see the answer to your joke until I quoted this. See, Napa CAN attest to it! The reason I quoted this was to say that I'm not actually infatuated with Iowa. I would rather live near the ocean on either coast, or a city like Boston, New York, Chicago, or San Fran.

well, just put it this way: unemployment wouldn't be much of a pay cut. and it's not the area I live in either, it's just that I'm considerably stupid and unqualified for anything. all of my friends make quite a bit more than me.but really though, where the hell do you guys get this kind of money to spend three hundred bucks on a meal and just be ok with that? I mean I'm pretty cheap and all, and a nice meal is pretty much the last thing I'd spend a lot of money on (not that there's anything wrong with other people doing it), but even if I did I'd have to sell my damn vehicle to do that. damn.

The Jiffy Lube idea is still out there. I agree about the meal, but it is interesting that you told Speedz to buy Rosetta Stone... since those things are like $300+. The one for Pashtu is $499. (I looked into it before I went to Afghanistan)

[Sal Paradise 57]

I agree about the meal, but it is interesting that you told Speedz to buy Rosetta Stone... since those things are like $300+. The one for Pashtu is $499. (I looked into it before I went to Afghanistan)

oh I didn't say anything about buying them.

[mk 11]

but damn, is everyone on this board so against a nice meal at a fine restaurant?

hii'm of the opinion that sharing a great, intimate meal with someone is one of the best things life offers

I'm not infatuated with Iowa as much as brv is, but I think it's a pretty decent place to grow up.

i have close friends who grew up in iowa and they're great people but they live in chicago and order their pizza from pizza hut. it makes me fucking irate.i spent the weekend in cinci at a wedding, and i have to say...the city is nice to look at, with the hills and river valley. uncle randy, i wanted to try to set something up with you before i left but i kinda knew we'd be doing stuff with meg's friends the whole time. woulda been impossible for me to get away, but i was thinkin of you.

[LadyGrey 6]

This is one of the leaders at the moment. Maybe not something crazy, but a language I'd actually be able to use...

[brvheart 1,752]

oh I didn't say anything about buying them.

You can download these things for free somewhere? Help a brother out Sal!

[brvheart 1,752]

i have close friends who grew up in iowa and they're great people but they live in chicago and order their pizza from pizza hut. it makes me fucking irate.

To be fair, Pizza Hut is the 2nd best pizza on earth... behind only Dominos.