I Called In Sick Today

[Sal Paradise 57]

How much poop is too much poop?

when more comes out than what went in.

Dude, it's my friggin' life. A truck almost ran me over (and an old lady) walking into Krogers this morning and after I yelled ASSHOLE! the guy stopped, so I took off after the the truck (nice being in shape) and he took off only to hit the main road non-stop and wreck into another truck. He was hurt really bad so I didn't get to berate him and tell him that if he died the world would have a "Net Gain!"

that randy. always chasin guys into the street so they wreck and almost die. he's a wild one!

Sure if you want melenoma

I do!

I thought steak did the opposite and clogged up the pipes. What's wrong with you?

it's that I don't eat red meat much at all. maybe once every 6 months or so. it's just too expensive. when I do eat it, I always eat it like medium rare, and my body isn't used to it. I imagine it's basically what it'd be like for a vegetarian eating meat for the first time in a long time.

[Quacktastic 106]

it's that I don't eat red meat much at all. maybe once every 6 months or so. it's just too expensive. when I do eat it, I always eat it like medium rare, and my body isn't used to it. I imagine it's basically what it'd be like for a vegetarian eating meat for the first time in a long time.

Muscle milk takes up too much of the food budget eh?

[Randy Reed 0]

i forgot to add the guy flipped me off, so basically yeah, that was all the reason it took to risk getting my asswhipped again.

[Sickinfo2 291]

Im not much of a food person, but three twenty (plus seventy tip) seems a little excessive to me....I like steak, dont get me wrongThe twelve dollar T-bones I throw on the grill (two minutes per side) with a baked tater (fully loaded) and a side of butter grilled mushrooms, jalos, and onions cant be that much worse, can they?I did get infoed into going to a joint once that made (let?) you cook your own steak... it didnt last very long for good reason. Using a gas grill and not being able to take two steps from the fire and piss was their downfall in my opinionGreat story Rando.... you really should have gone down and rubbed it in a little, thoughMaybe call the hospital and have them transfer you to his room...You know I would

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I think it's VERY excessive. (the $320, that is) You can get a bigger better steak right here where they are raised for $30. Hell, Ron could fly to Des Moines, have Napa take him to Rube's, get back on the plane, and fly home for $320.

Three people were at the table. Three apps, four mixed drinks, three entrees, three sides, three desserts. Is it expensive, yeah, but I like nice things sometimes. Sure, it's cheaper to buy a filet and cook it on the grill, but damn, is everyone on this board so against a nice meal at a fine restaurant? And who the hell wants to go to Iowa?

I rented Role Models today and enjoyed it, so I looked up what that crew of actors is up to next. After some browsing I saw that Seth Rogan was going to be the Green Hornet, and thought I remembered the filming was already finished, so I looked up the trailer. Sometimes you just don't know where something awesome is going to come from.

I'm sick of Seth Roganand that wasn't awesome

it's that I don't eat red meat much at all. maybe once every 6 months or so. it's just too expensive. when I do eat it, I always eat it like medium rare, and my body isn't used to it. I imagine it's basically what it'd be like for a vegetarian eating meat for the first time in a long time.

ok, maybe this is too personal, but at this point, I really need to know what you make. Feel free to PM here or on Facebook

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Im not much of a food person, but three twenty (plus seventy tip) seems a little excessive to me....I like steak, dont get me wrongThe twelve dollar T-bones I throw on the grill (two minutes per side) with a baked tater (fully loaded) and a side of butter grilled mushrooms, jalos, and onions cant be that much worse, can they?

Well, you have been pretty clear about being cheap except for certain things in your life. I'm far from materialistic, but I like to spend on certain things. FWIW, this was a birthday meal I didn't pay. I would, not regularly, but I would go there again. I like to spend a little money on a nice experience. I like to dress up occasionally. T-shirts and sneakers are cool, but I like a nice suit, or a nice shirt and a good pair of pants or jeans. I like making a meal on the grill, but I like the experience of a nice place. To each his own, I suppose. Also, if it was me leaving the tip, which I tried to, I tried to leave $80.For instance, my and my buddies tab on Friday night, mostly from drinking, was $175. I think we left $60. That was excessive. I was drunk, we were drunk. I like the attention. I'm a whore like that. Overtipping is my financial leak, when I'm drunk.

[Tactical Bear 3]

For instance, my and my buddies tab on Friday night, mostly from drinking, was $175. I think we left $60. That was excessive. I was drunk, we were drunk. I like the attention. I'm a whore like that. Overtipping is my financial leak, when I'm drunk.

My corps of friends pull all sorts of dirty trick to pay the bill, including but not limited to:- Paying the waitress 2 hours before we get to the restaurant- Stealing each other's wallets.- Buying lapdances for each other, and instructing the waitress to bring the bar-tab over when everyone's getting boobies in the face- Tip auctioning.Basically, the last one gets nasty. It'll be a 100 dollar tab, and when the waitress comes over with the check, we start in with the "give it to me, and you'll get 20%." "Well give it to me, you'll get 25%." "Give it to me, you'll get 30%." "40..."Etc. Last time, I got carried away and -- before I saw the bill -- I promised her an 80% tip if she took the money from me. The bill was 140 (there were 3 of us, maybe 20 of it was my O'Douls). I was all proud of myself, until I learned that John gave the waitress 300 dollars while I was in the can.Dammit.

[Tactical Bear 3]

I had the best day I've ever had making book. -I had about 12x in outstanding Louisville futures all go busto. -I took a bath on the UNC game, losing about 12x.-Of my 9 regular clients, 8 had plays on the Lakers-4. 3 of them were double-sized plays, and two were triple-sized. +22x.-I had totally split action on 3 NBA games for a high volume, and won the juice.-7 of my clients had the Nets-3, three of them for doubles. +18x-6 of my clients had the Spurs-1.5, two of them for doubles. +14x-5 of my clients had the Spurs/Hornets over 180. +14x-I was +25x on the rest of my NBA action. I am pretty sure that adds up to +81x. On a given week, I'm usually very happy if I win 15-20x. My allowance for doubtful accounts is pretty high -- past experience leads me to believe that about 20% of my A/R become uncollectible -- but even so, that's +65x. For reference, that's about 3 months of living expenses, which is pretty nice for a guy who is, frankly, pretty poor.I have celebrated by taking 3 Soma. I don't know what they are or what they do. Should be interesting...

[speedz99 145]

Three people were at the table. Three apps, four mixed drinks, three entrees, three sides, three desserts. Is it expensive, yeah, but I like nice things sometimes. Sure, it's cheaper to buy a filet and cook it on the grill, but damn, is everyone on this board so against a nice meal at a fine restaurant?

I definitely waste more money on good food than I do on anything else...my jewbone is strong when it comes to wearing shoes for about five too many seasons, but I'll blow way more money than I should on a meal that only lasts a few hours. That said, I do happen to agree with everyone on this one, since I think I can cook a nice steak just as well as any restaurant out there, excluding a few select places that have crazy in-house aging processes.

and that wasn't awesome

Yes it was.

ok, maybe this is too personal, but at this point, I really need to know what you make. Feel free to PM here or on Facebook

That's not personal at all. Sal, just post it in the thread.

[speedz99 145]

I am pretty sure that adds up to +81x. On a given week, I'm usually very happy if I win 15-20x. My allowance for doubtful accounts is pretty high -- past experience leads me to believe that about 20% of my A/R become uncollectible -- but even so, that's +65x. For reference, that's about 3 months of living expenses, which is pretty nice for a guy who is, frankly, pretty poor.

I feel like the guys I used to ask questions in the LHE forum would have something snarky to say about this.

[Tactical Bear 3]

I feel like the guys I used to ask questions in the LHE forum would have something snarky to say about this.

I do not understand. Perhaps the Soma have kicked in. Explain?Okay, so the Soma has definitely kicked in. I am having problems typing. You know how guys post all drunk and have their posts filled with retarded typos? If I were not making liberal use of the backspace key, this post would look like that. On a separate note, Stuffpuppet is taking off. One of my dealers is headed west, and I asked him to take Stuffpuppet with him, after explaining it's exact meaning and the specific connotations it carries. I swear, "Stuffpuppet" is going to end up in a Seth Rogan movie in the next half-decade. Book it.Wang

[speedz99 145]

So I've decided that, somehow, I've become bored with working 26 hours a week and spending the rest of my time napping. Here was my schedule today.9:12am - wake up, immediately go back to sleep10:30am - wake up to alarm, urinate, go back to sleep[during this sleep I had a dream about being asleep, waking up, and going back to sleep at least 3 times...but each time I woke up I was in a different place]1:00pm - wake up, go downstairs and watch tv2:25pm - go to gas station Cumberland Farms to get cheetos, mayo, and a chicken pot pie2:45pm - eat (not necessarily everything from the gas station)4:30pm - take a nap6:20pm - wake up, go downstairs and watch basketball7:10pm - watch 60 minutes while eating dinner8:00pm - watch a few episodes of Planet Earth10:00pm - practice guitar...learning acoustic version of Hey Ya, putting finishing touches on I Will Follow You Into the Dark, and researching Flight of the Conchords songs11:00pm - turn on FCPI'm guessing that few of you read my schedule, but whatever. The point is that I need a new hobby. I'm going to start working out again and will still play some guitar, but I feel like I need to add something new into the mix or I'll turn into a blob of slothiness. I could take up online poker again, but I'd rather do something that is apart from electronics and more constant sitting and/or lying down.The best idea will be given at least a 2 week trial. I'll check out all of the responses, post a list, and let you all vote for what I should try out. Then I'll possibly overule you and choose my favorite.Over/under is 2 people giving me ideas.

[speedz99 145]

I do not understand. Perhaps the Soma have kicked in. Explain?Okay, so the Soma has definitely kicked in. I am having problems typing. You know how guys post all drunk and have their posts filled with retarded typos? If I were not making liberal use of the backspace key, this post would look like that.

I'm jealous.I was just picturing Asimo...and I'm not sure that's the person I'm thinking of...lecturing you about varience and such. Like you didn't know it already.

[Tactical Bear 3]

So I've decided that, somehow, I've become bored with working 26 hours a week and spending the rest of my time napping. Here was my schedule today.9:12am - wake up, immediately go back to sleep10:30am - wake up to alarm, urinate, go back to sleep[during this sleep I had a dream about being asleep, waking up, and going back to sleep at least 3 times...but each time I woke up I was in a different place]1:00pm - wake up, go downstairs and watch tv2:25pm - go to gas station Cumberland Farms to get cheetos, mayo, and a chicken pot pie2:45pm - eat (not necessarily everything from the gas station)4:30pm - take a nap6:20pm - wake up, go downstairs and watch basketball7:10pm - watch 60 minutes while eating dinner8:00pm - watch a few episodes of Planet Earth10:00pm - practice guitar...learning acoustic version of Hey Ya, putting finishing touches on I Will Follow You Into the Dark, and researching Flight of the Conchords songs11:00pm - turn on FCPI'm guessing that few of you read my schedule, but whatever. The point is that I need a new hobby. I'm going to start working out again and will still play some guitar, but I feel like I need to add something new into the mix or I'll turn into a blob of slothiness. I could take up online poker again, but I'd rather do something that is apart from electronics and more constant sitting and/or lying down.The best idea will be given at least a 2 week trial. I'll check out all of the responses, post a list, and let you all vote for what I should try out. Then I'll possibly overule you and choose my favorite.Over/under is 2 people giving me ideas.

I'll think about it, and come up with something awesome. Give me a list of things you're looking to accomplish. Just kill time? Better yourself? Make the caaaaash?

I'm jealous.I was just picturing Asimo...and I'm not sure that's the person I'm thinking of...lecturing you about varience and such. Like you didn't know it already.

Well, of course. I'm not bragging about, like, being GOOD at text-messaging lines ripped from Pinny and adjusting them a half-point based on my clientele (black people). I was just bragging about how awesome I ran today. The books always win, unless you're really dedicated to playing super-ugly sides and ignoring what you think you know about sports.

[speedz99 145]

I'll think about it, and come up with something awesome. Give me a list of things you're looking to accomplish. Just kill time? Better yourself? Make the caaaaash?

Hmm. Good question. I'd like to do, learn to do, or get good at something that will make more than one girl in my class next year say, "You can/make/now how to/etc ________? I'm quite impressed and now am more likely to do things and/or stuff with you."Making money seems unrealistic for some reason...killing time while bettering myself is the goal for the most part.

Well, of course. I'm not bragging about, like, being GOOD at text-messaging lines ripped from Pinny and adjusting them a half-point based on my clientele (black people). I was just bragging about how awesome I ran today. The books always win, unless you're really dedicated to playing super-ugly sides and ignoring what you think you know about sports.

I know, I was just giving you shit. Apparently I did a poor job of it.

[brvheart 1,752]

Three people were at the table. Three apps, four mixed drinks, three entrees, three sides, three desserts. Is it expensive, yeah, but I like nice things sometimes. Sure, it's cheaper to buy a filet and cook it on the grill, but damn, is everyone on this board so against a nice meal at a fine restaurant? And who the hell wants to go to Iowa? I'm sick of Seth Roganand that wasn't awesomeok, maybe this is too personal, but at this point, I really need to know what you make. Feel free to PM here or on Facebook

Liking a nice dinner is not illegal.... also, Iowa is way better than you think it is. (no it's not)

I am pretty sure that adds up to +81x. On a given week, I'm usually very happy if I win 15-20x. My allowance for doubtful accounts is pretty high -- past experience leads me to believe that about 20% of my A/R become uncollectible -- but even so, that's +65x. For reference, that's about 3 months of living expenses, which is pretty nice for a guy who is, frankly, pretty poor.

If you need an enforcer, let me know.

I'm guessing that few of you read my schedule, but whatever. The point is that I need a new hobby. I'm going to start working out again and will still play some guitar, but I feel like I need to add something new into the mix or I'll turn into a blob of slothiness. I could take up online poker again, but I'd rather do something that is apart from electronics and more constant sitting and/or lying down.The best idea will be given at least a 2 week trial. I'll check out all of the responses, post a list, and let you all vote for what I should try out. Then I'll possibly overule you and choose my favorite.Over/under is 2 people giving me ideas.

My idea would have been an instrument, like guitar or piano... but it looks like you are already trying that. How about researching and starting a salt water aquarium. Women love aquariums... especially salt tanks. Don't get less than a 55 gallon.

[LadyGrey 6]

Just now as I was brushing my teeth in the dorm bathrooms, a girl came and stood at the sink next to me and proceeded to squeeze blackheads on her face for the next few minutes until I left. This is something I would do in private rather than in front of a stranger, but I'm wondering if that is just my English prudishness and maybe girls here do that sort of thing in front of each other. I've also come across a jar of wax in the bathroom before (unattended) so I think perhaps that is just how American girls act.

[KDawgCometh 2]

I have celebrated by taking 3 Soma. I don't know what they are or what they do. Should be interesting...

soma are nawesome muscle rellaxants, you should be on cloud nine at this point. I wish I had some

Over/under is 2 people giving me ideas.

i feel like commenting on this just to comment. I have zero solutions, so therefore I suck

[strategy 4]

Liking a nice dinner is not illegal.... also, Iowa is way better than you think it is. (no it's not)

it isn't hard for iowa to be way better than everyone thinks.

[LadyGrey 6]

it isn't hard for iowa to be way better than everyone thinks.

My teacher is always making derogatory comments about Iowa. Sounds like it's just stupid farmers up there.

[speedz99 145]

My idea would have been an instrument, like guitar or piano... but it looks like you are already trying that. How about researching and starting a salt water aquarium. Women love aquariums... especially salt tanks. Don't get less than a 55 gallon.

Hey, it's an idea. Not a realistic one for me, since I've killed every fish I've ever owned...that last ones by assuming that saltines would be an adequate substitute for their food when I ran out (it was a freshwater tank)...but I appreciate the effort.

Just now as I was brushing my teeth in the dorm bathrooms, a girl came and stood at the sink next to me and proceeded to squeeze blackheads on her face for the next few minutes until I left. This is something I would do in private rather than in front of a stranger, but I'm wondering if that is just my English prudishness and maybe girls here do that sort of thing in front of each other. I've also come across a jar of wax in the bathroom before (unattended) so I think perhaps that is just how American girls act.

It is definitely how most American girls act...I'm not sure why.

i feel like commenting on this just to comment. I have zero solutions, so therefore I suck

Come on, you must have something. Like, for example, you can slightly impress people by randomly dropping some crazy wine knowledge. I need something like that.

[El Guapo 8]

you don't honestly believe chefs always manage to hit the right temp for the right length of time at medium rare, do you? not that I think it is a huge concern, but it is one of the reasons I stick to medium or medium well. the excess blood mixing with everything else on the plate is another.there was this amazing place in gatlinburg called the peddler. had a guy walking around with the night's steaks on a cart, showed you the choices and cut off what you picked to be cooked. it is still the best steak I ever had, and this was 10+ years ago. the same people now own a few more restaurants there, but it isn't as good. I guess they realized that quality isn't crucial when you operate in a tourist trap.

I know everyone has since commented on this, but I believe Speedz is the one who said you could eat it raw, which is true. Steak Tar Tar is good, I would never pay for it, but I have had it. Now Tuna Tar Tar is the way to go!Bottom line, go to a good restaurant order a thick dry aged NY strip rare, enjoy.

Tipping well is important. I think I would have left the full 25% (80, getting it all the way up to 400 even), but I'm glad to see you're a solid tipper, Ron. Who here thinks 70/320 is excessive? Strat? You got any opinions?

I have a $200 gift certificate to Mortons I need to use. Probably for my anniversary. I would have tipped to the full $400 in this instance also. But I do agree Mortons is overpriced for what you get, but it is also damn good.

Too many steak quotes, but yep, bone-in ribeye is the best and too pricey for college kids but a good ribeye from the market is about as expensive as a $7 cheeseburger but pointless if it isn't going to be cooked med rare. Well, almost medium and cooked right would get by and still smoke the cheeseburger. I actually just mailed some awesome steak seasoning to El G yesterday so after his review if anyone wants some let me know.

I almost forgot about this. Now I have a good reason to visit the butcher and get some nice NY strips. I will report back as soon as I try it.

[Napa_Don 688]

My teacher is always making derogatory comments about Iowa. Sounds like it's just stupid farmers up there.

Why is Iowa windy?Because Missouri sucks and Minnesota blows.I'm not infatuated with Iowa as much as brv is, but I think it's a pretty decent place to grow up. I made a list for speedz but then saw that none of them would do nothing for him.

[speedz99 145]

I made a list for speedz but then saw that none of them would do nothing for him.

I say post it anyway...it can't hurt.Once again I can't sleep. Time to OD on nyquil and pretend that I don't see the label telling my to consult my physician.

[Napa_Don 688]

I say post it anyway...it can't hurt.Once again I can't sleep. Time to OD on nyquil and pretend that I don't see the label telling my to consult my physician.

ONLY BECAUSE IT'S YOU...(I would have posted it originally anyways, but the page screwed up and I lost my post)My current things I do:- Play poker- Ride the horse (my job)- Play video games- Study- Work on golf game- Make to-do lists- Workout- Think about playing my guitar