I Called In Sick Today

[strategy 4]

call me a jerk if you must, but it is heartwarming to see all of the extremely sad status updates on facebook right now. fucking keep voting in fee increases you stupid fucking cunts.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

someone mentioned a pilsner?

don't mind if i do! thank god for office beer fridges.

[Tactical Bear 3]

So you went shopping, and stood around while she tried on girl hats?...Sounds like you got yourself a girlfriend.

Sounds like she got herself a girlfriend.

Just so you guys know, Guapo definitely wins this exchange. Well done, Guapo.

sounds like wang got a girlfriend!

Strategy, as always, loses.

sounds like wang got a fag hag!

Just to be clear, and to assert my masculinity, here's how I got dragged to the mall:Wang: (via text) "Maggie! You going to be on campus this afternoon?"Maggie: "Yeah, running late. Class, tutor, then mall. Wanna come with?"Wang: "Meet me in the computer lab, we'll discuss it..."Computer Lab(pleasantries)Maggie: "So you should come to the mall with me."Wang: "I don't know. That sounds a lot like me carrying your bags and feeling like a homosexual when I inevitably demand veto-power at Forever 21, so I'm no-"Maggie: "We'll go to Victoria's Secret. I need a swimsuit..."Wang: "I... will be allowed to go inside Victoria's Secret?"Maggie: "What? Yeah, of co-... that is such a weird question. Have you... were you not allowed... were you not allowed inside Victoria's Secret before or something?"Wang: "Yeah my exgirlfriend would never let me go inside."Maggie: (suggestively) "Oh you'll be allowed inside, alright..."Anyway, she dangled this Victoria's Secret trip like a carrot in front of a rabbit (I am the rabbit) the entire time, while I was exercising veto power at Forever 21 and feeling like a faggot for saying things like: "Sure, that looks good on you. You were going for Mary Ann right? Or Little House on the Prairie?"When we finally got there, we spent maybe 5 minutes there looking at swimsuits until she declared "nah, I don't need a new bikini" and led me out. I got totally gipped, but that's not the point. The point is, I only went because I was given the impression that I would get to see a cute girl in her underwear, even though -- you know, if I'd really thought about it -- I should have known there was a zero-percent likelihood that was going to happen at the mall. But I am stupid, and blinded by my pure, heterosexual lust for breasts and other womanly parts. And then the touching.I did, however, assert my dominance in the car (she drove, I rode passenger) when she dropped me off on campus afterwards. I told her I MIGHT call her on Saturday, and guess what? I'm still not sure if I will. In fact, I'm leaning towards either not calling, or calling at, like, 1230 at night, and pretending it slipped my mind until then, because: what a crazy day!Wang

[Poppy_Hillis 11]

Just so you guys know, Guapo definitely wins this exchange. Well done, Guapo.

Yea, I got dotted.

[silkyjonson 1]

I'm not getting laid.

FYP

[Sal Paradise 57]

I am not dead, mother****ers. Did somebody here try calling me earlier? I was crying in the shower this afternoon and got a call from a 989 number, which I think is Boston...?

saginaw, michigan

call me a jerk if you must, but it is heartwarming to see all of the extremely sad status updates on facebook right now. fucking keep voting in fee increases you stupid fucking cunts.

what fee increases? why do you always speak in code?

what a crazy day!

you girls are just a HOOT!

[Voldemort 0]

Mag stuff(puppet)Wang

You should wear your nice hat that your SS got you for Mags.

[KDawgCometh 2]

Is the 'tool' the guitar guy or the singer

one could easily say both, but in this case, the guitar player

Speaking of Stuffpuppets, I was at the mall yesterday with Maggie, and I took this picture. She was trying on silly hats, and we were having fun, so I took a picture of her all hatted up. Wang

I just like how you started it all with speaking of stuffpuppets. I guess cockhole is a bit more direct and uncooth

sounds like wang got a fag hag!

too awesome

[KDawgCometh 2]

I did, however, assert my dominance in the car (she drove, I rode passenger) when she dropped me off on campus afterwards. I told her I MIGHT call her on Saturday, and guess what? I'm still not sure if I will. In fact, I'm leaning towards either not calling, or calling at, like, 1230 at night, and pretending it slipped my mind until then, because: what a crazy day!Wang

um, what's teh word I'm looking for here, oh yea, no

[Dawson Leery 12]

Then: a challenge.I believe I could successfully argue that taking -EV hedges -- assuming we follow proper bankroll procedures (Kelly Criterion, etc.) while considering our original stake -- will lead to an INCREASED risk of ruin, even though it decreases variance. Anything we do that decreases our longterm earnings always increases our risk of ruin, ceteris paribus.

I would argue the other way. It all has to do with the probabilities you assign to the variables (winning the 20X payout, what your normal bet win % is, etc.). Assuming that you have 2-3 long term futures a year, I would think it would be worth it to lock in a smaller payout (17x or whatever), and then use that bankroll to make bigger bets. Assuming your normal bets are +EV, I would think the sure, albeit smaller, pay out would increase your lifetime earnings.There are a ton of assumptions here though, if the 17x pay out is more like 5x it may not be worth it, and if the probability of the 20x pay out is large enough it would easily swing it the other way. I can't really estimate the probabilities you would assign to all of these factors, but it would make an interesting model.

I'm thinking you should go on the trip and just enjoy it and leave things as is. I'm not relationship expert, but I would think that if two of your possible options are propose or break up, you probably shouldn't be getting married quite yet. BUT WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW RIGHT.

If I wasn't lazy I'd find you picture and photoshop your face onto Dr. Phil's face. What a hilarious joke that would be. It would likely be quoted by multiple people I believe. I'm having a good laugh just thinking about it right now. Sal's face on Dr. Phil's body, what an image.

Last week I made a twitter account so that I could leave myself notes and thoughts to look back on later. I used a false surname and didn't include any personal info except my first name because I don't want anyone I know to read it (or anyone at all really).Today I logged on to write something and saw that someone was 'following' me on twitter. It's a girl I went to high school with who just started a twitter account yesterday. I have no idea how she found me. I tried searching my real name and it only came up with one person who is not me. I'm guessing she did an "address book" search and it found me by my email address, which is supposed to be private. Sigh.

Speaking of Stuffpuppets, I was at the mall yesterday with Maggie, and I took this picture. She was trying on silly hats, and we were having fun, so I took a picture of her all hatted up. She demanded that I make that image show up whenever she calls me. I decided that was a great idea, so I did it, all the while thinking, "Man, she's going to call me and ask to see the phone and... oh man, she's in my phone as STUFFPUPPET." So right when I got it entered, she pulled her phone out. She has a really short attention span, so I pretended to get a phone call, and stepped outside to regroup. When I walked back in, she was standing at the ready, phone out, excited to see herself all hatted up when she called my phone. Wang: "Okay, I didn't even get a phone call, I was just stalling."Maggie: "What?"Wang: "Okay, so I put you in the phone as something besides your name."Maggie: "What, did you put me in as one of your stupid nicknames or something?"Wang: "Kinda. Except... it's going to sound really bad."Maggie: "It's not, like, future wife or love of my life or anything is it?"Wang: "What? God no. I barely even LIKE you..."Maggie: "Okay, so what is it." Wang: (cringes and gives Maggie the phone)Maggie: (calls Wang's phone, looks at screen)Maggie: (looks confused)Maggie: "Hey what's a-..." (starts laughing)I KNEW there was a reason I liked this girl. She told me I could leave it, but only on the condition that I if she calls/texts me around somebody she knows, I can't let him/her see it. Fair enough, stuffpuppet. Faaaaaair enough.She leaves for a vacation to Florida on Monday. Last time she went away, she never really came back, but I'm strangely unworried.Wang

Wow, she could be a keeper. That's awesome

[Sal Paradise 57]

you're so lazy you can't even respond to the post of ladygrey's you quoted. how lazy!

[Dawson Leery 12]

you're so lazy you can't even respond to the post of ladygrey's you quoted. how lazy!

IMHO go fuck yourself

[CindyLou 11]

But I am stupid, and blinded by my pure, heterosexual lust for breasts and other womanly parts. And then the touching.

I read this in a Monty Python Holy Grail manner.Also, yes, Guapo definitely won that contest.Glad you're not dead.

[CindyLou 11]

IMHO go fuck yourself

You're so lazy you can't even fuck him yourself. How lazy!

[Sal Paradise 57]

so very lazy!

[Dawson Leery 12]

Someone find the flirting picture of the bear and post it in the "I'm gonna get fleur pregnant" or whatever thread, I'M TOO LAZY TO FIND IT MYSELF

[Voldemort 0]

Someone find the flirting picture of the bear and post it in the "I'm gonna get fleur pregnant" or whatever thread, I'M TOO LAZY TO FIND IT MYSELF

Done.

[Tactical Bear 3]

um, what's teh word I'm looking for here, oh yea, no

Keith. Come on, man. That's juxtapositional humor. You see, I wrote one thing ("I am masculine"), and right next to that statement, I wrote something that belied my initial statement. It was tongue-in-cheek, man. You're a hippy; you should get this stuff. The entire post was written as a defense of my masculinity, but peppered with evidence to the contrary. Apparently you do NOT see what I did there. I'm losing my touch, I guess.

I would argue the other way. It all has to do with the probabilities you assign to the variables (winning the 20X payout, what your normal bet win % is, etc.). Assuming that you have 2-3 long term futures a year, I would think it would be worth it to lock in a smaller payout (17x or whatever), and then use that bankroll to make bigger bets. Assuming your normal bets are +EV, I would think the sure, albeit smaller, pay out would increase your lifetime earnings.There are a ton of assumptions here though, if the 17x pay out is more like 5x it may not be worth it, and if the probability of the 20x pay out is large enough it would easily swing it the other way. I can't really estimate the probabilities you would assign to all of these factors, but it would make an interesting model. Wow, she could be a keeper. That's awesome

With respect to variance and risk of ruin.My argument would look something like this:In a vacuum, sacrificing equity is ALWAYS a bad thing. If we ignore the fact that we have a 1x to win 50x stake on a position, would we ever suggest taking a side that is unprofitable is, somehow, going to lead to increased profits in the longrun? Of course not. In the longrun, we'd rather have 20x than 17x, and if we have a properly conservative bankroll and run a simulation, we'd end up with LESS money by taking the 17x 100% of the time than the 50x 40% of the time, even when we account for compounding one's bankroll. Remember, we're going to have hundreds of these long-term positions over the course of our career. Simply put, a player with an expected ROI of 4% is less likely to go broke than a player with an expected ROI of 2%, assuming both player's use the same bankroll, and follow equally conservative paths. I can't see how giving money away could EVER decrease one's risk of ruin in the long run. The same thing applies to poker. I used to hear people suggest playing a swingier, more-profitable game was more likely to lead to going broke than playing a conservative, less-profitable style. That's simply not true. The biggest way to increase your RoR is to play a less-profitable style (or put your entire roll in play, but we're not suggesting that). I could build a model, I think, but it seems pretty inutitive to me that decreasing profits to decrease "variance" is counterproductive, both in terms of longterm profits (obviously), AND long-term risk.With Respect to the Double Hatted Deuce:Yeah, she's a keeper. I think she's got something for everybody. A sense of humor for JBrad, insecurity for Wang, a 2-year-old son for Shake, etc. Too bad I am wholly unlovable. I will simple leave her sexually frustrated until I've exhausted her patience. Second go-round should last me all of 3 more weeks, I'd wager.

[Tactical Bear 3]

I had a very STRATEGY afternoon:First, I was driving around the city, windows down, looking for situations in which I could impose my dominance (1), when my iPod shuffled its way to "I Don't Know What I Can Save You From," by the Kings of Convenience. I thought about skipping, but let it play. The next song was "My Night With the Prostitute from Marseilles," by Beirut. The first song was JeffStrat's contribution to the Music thead's "Autumnal Mix," and the second was sent to me (via AIM?) a while back, also from Jeff Strat. I stopped by Blockbuster, and overheard and argument between two of the Blockbizzle employees about "Warcraft 3 vs. World of Warcraft," and how WoW has ruined every regular Warcraft player's street cred. I didn't know what they were talking about, but I know I've heard JeffStrat go off on a tangent about how he does not play WoW. Finally, I stopped at 7-11 to get a second litre of Diet Mountain Dew, and there was an Australian woman in the store. Australian's are like fake Brits, and Jeff is, supposedly, dating a Brit, so: lots of Strat. WangNote1: Driving to the tanning salon, unshowered and unshaved, cranky from lack of caffeine. Somebody drank Wang's last Litre of Diet Mountain Dew last night.

[Sal Paradise 57]

you know, I could probably assert my dominance better if I went to a tanning salon and got tan. is this a good idea yes or no?

[Tactical Bear 3]

you know, I could probably assert my dominance better if I went to a tanning salon and got tan. is this a good idea yes or no?

Actually, it probably is... I fought it for a long time, clinging to my paleness as the last vestige of my masculinity when, in reality, it just made me look like like a stuffing ghoul. Having women not cringe when I walk in the room -- actually, cringe noticeably less intensely -- is kinda dominant. Also: blowjobs and stuff.

[Napa_Don 688]

Lefty,I pulled some strings and a friend is getting me a copy under his wife's id under the guise I'm getting it for my brother. You're welcome.In exchange, I expect an internship.Thank you,Clint

[Sal Paradise 57]

Also: blowjobs and stuff.

a blow what now?

Clint

clint is fucking TAN.

[strategy 4]

what fee increases? why do you always speak in code?

I forgot that you never actually went to KU. they have campus fees totaling about $800 a year at KU that the students have decided need to be taken for student services. about ****ing half of it is shit that isn't available to all students. http://kupedia.org/wiki/index.php/Campus_feesplease note the boathouse fee for the rowing team's exclusive use for $15/semester that passed on referendum. the fucking ridiculousness of that situation. the athletic department set up tents and laptops on a hot day outside of wescoe, handed out "free" gatorade, and basically stuffed the ballot to get that one passed.

I had a very STRATEGY afternoon:First, I was driving around the city, windows down, looking for situations in which I could impose my dominance (1), when my iPod shuffled its way to "I Don't Know What I Can Save You From," by the Kings of Convenience. I thought about skipping, but let it play. The next song was "My Night With the Prostitute from Marseilles," by Beirut. The first song was JeffStrat's contribution to the Music thead's "Autumnal Mix," and the second was sent to me (via AIM?) a while back, also from Jeff Strat. I stopped by Blockbuster, and overheard and argument between two of the Blockbizzle employees about "Warcraft 3 vs. World of Warcraft," and how WoW has ruined every regular Warcraft player's street cred. I didn't know what they were talking about, but I know I've heard JeffStrat go off on a tangent about how he does not play WoW. Finally, I stopped at 7-11 to get a second litre of Diet Mountain Dew, and there was an Australian woman in the store. Australian's are like fake Brits, and Jeff is, supposedly, dating a Brit, so: lots of Strat. WangNote1: Driving to the tanning salon, unshowered and unshaved, cranky from lack of caffeine. Somebody drank Wang's last Litre of Diet Mountain Dew last night.

world of warcraft is so mainstream these days, I probably wouldn't even be ashamed if I did play it. I still don't, and never will, but that's because I'm not a faggotI will never drink mountain dewI will have you know that I, too, think about skipping your songs on the autumn CD.

[Napa_Don 688]

please note the boathouse fee for the rowing team's exclusive use for $15/semester that passed on referendum. the fucking ridiculousness of that situation. the athletic department set up tents and laptops on a hot day outside of wescoe, handed out "free" gatorade, and basically stuffed the ballot to get that one passed.

A girl I know is "on" the rowing team, meaning she is 4'6", 80 pounds and is the person that sits in the front of the boat keeping beat. She always talks about how she's a D-1 athlete and how she has spring training and all of this other bull shit. I'll let her know you disapprove of the allocated funding she gets.