I Called In Sick Today

[CardWarfare 4]

I didn't catch up, but it seems like you guys might be talking about jerking off, and if you're setting the line at 3.5 or 4.5 I'm gonna have to take the over. It isn't even close either. I don't think six is out of range.

POST UNDER YOUR OWN GODDAMNED NAME(S)!!!

It's really unfair to throw an Asian penis into this bet. Your penis is very small, therefore less movement is required, therefore your arm gets tired less quickly.

That wasn't me. It was my alter ego/invisible friend.I guess this is the internet equivalent of multiple personality disorder.

[mk 11]

I have gained 3 pounds in the last 3 weeks since working out. The string tells me my gut is smaller but my guns are firing on all cylinders.

muscle weighs more than fat. fatty.

[speedz99 145]

2.5 lbs/ week is entirely reasonable which would put you at a 10lb loss overall. depending on your activity, you should probably cut down to about 2300 calories/day divided by 5 meals so have about 460 calories/meal. the days you're not working out cut down on carbs but load up on them more those days you do work out. stick more with protein based foods (fish, tuna, chicken) and complex carbs (potatoes and other vegetables). even if you just walk or lightly jog you should have no problem dropping 10 lbs in a month. the first month of weight loss is really the easiest anyway if you stick with it.

Whaaa?You want a 100% sure way to lose the weight in a month? Stock up on lean cuisines, lean pockets (you know, the weak hot pockets), and special k (w/skim milk). Bowl of cereal for breakfast, lean cuisine lunch, lean pocket snack, leane cuisine dinner, fruit for 9pm snack. That's about 1200-1400 calories per day but spread out so you're not always hungry. No alcohol during the week, and one night per week you can have a good dinner...make yourself a steak or something (no fast food). Walk for an hour a day and do some pushups and situps at home just to keep up the metabolism.Extremely easy with minimal thinking about what to eat, calorie counting, etc. All you need is a freezer and a microwave. Foolproof if you actually care enough to do it. And yes, it's a pretty gay diet. Works though.These days I like my weight, so I do lean cuisine lunch, light snack, and something really bad for dinner. Am I still talking.

[mk 11]

He has grown on me though and I don't mind him, after initially seeing him on WSOP I wanted to urinate in his blueberries.

yeah, so many of his shenanigans deep in the m.e. were cringe-worthy (especially berating rizen for trying to make a play on him), but i think he's smart enough to realize what comes off badly on tv. playing the role of fish out of water/guy who's just happy to be around the big boys works well for him.

[Ouch-8s 4]

Whaaa?You want a 100% sure way to lose the weight in a month? Stock up on lean cuisines, lean pockets (you know, the weak hot pockets), and special k (w/skim milk). Bowl of cereal for breakfast, lean cuisine lunch, lean pocket snack, leane cuisine dinner, fruit for 9pm snack. That's about 1200-1400 calories per day but spread out so you're not always hungry. No alcohol during the week, and one night per week you can have a good dinner...make yourself a steak or something (no fast food). Walk for an hour a day and do some pushups and situps at home just to keep up the metabolism.Extremely easy with minimal thinking about what to eat, calorie counting, etc. All you need is a freezer and a microwave. Foolproof if you actually care enough to do it. And yes, it's a pretty gay diet. Works though.These days I like my weight, so I do lean cuisine lunch, light snack, and something really bad for dinner. Am I still talking.

this guy is an EXPERT on helping other people lose weight, i'd listen to him

[SBriand 4]

muscle weighs more than fat. fatty.

Crazy that science. Thanks for the info Mr. Wizard.So since I don't care anymore what anyone thinks of me in this thread I will ask this since I trust I will get answers that make sense.So I suck at poker. Or that is what I tell myself. I am no math wiz, never claimed to be, I read about equity and all that jazz and it is completely over my fat head. So after taking down Pat's Movie contest I have run that $50 to $400 by playing MTT's and 180's. Actually I have finished in the money 5 out of 8 times and 2 wins. Pretty good for a donk like myself. So I played a $7 sat into last nights Fifty-Fifty on FT and take it down with ease. This is the highest buy-in I have ever played because I am too nitty to take a shot at anything over $11.So there I am I fold for almost 2 complete rounds mainly because I was getting crap for cards and early on Mr. Bruce Buffer, a FT Pro for some odd reason, was trying to be a bully from my vantage point. Through 18 hands I would say he repopped pf 6 times. He never went to showdown and often layed down to aggression.I get AK utg+1 and raise to 90. Two players in MP call and Bruce on the button repops for 680. This is like his whole act it seems. So I thought about it. And this was my rational and I want to know if it was a completely terrible decision on my part.If I push all in they all fold, nice pot. The other two in the pot played almost 50% of the hand so I didn't pay much attention to them. Maybe I should have.If I push and get a caller I would still have half my stack if any of the MP players calls and I lose and if I win a decent stack. If Bruce calls and I lose then I am in trouble with about 355 left. If he calls and I win I pretty much double up early in this tourney and I win the $55 buy-in that cost me $7 to get. I thought about a call but I won't fool myself and think I play good post flop poker.Edit: removed results

[Napa_Don 688]

So, my monitor is still under warranty, but they don't believe me, so I'm having to call the store where I bought it and get documentation saying that "LCD MONITOR" on my receipt = the monitor I have and then they'll believe that my monitor is still under warranty.

[strategy 4]

ron, you keep saying that stuff about me being oblivious, but I seriously have been following it. Apparently Mangino got two more people to verbally commit over the weekend. Maybe KU will finally have a good football program again?

[speedz99 145]

this guy is an EXPERT on helping other people lose weight, i'd listen to him

Yeah. I should have mentioned that you could also find a significant other who is comfortable with constantly dropping casual hints about the fact that you might want to think about working out, maybe shouldn't eat the second half of that burger, etc.

[leftygolfer 7]

i'm watching the most recent episode of hsp, and jamie gold has kind of grown on me in a good-natured douche kind of way.

I TIVO'd it too, but caught about 5 minutes live.Doyle: I am the only real American here.Gold: He's surrounded by Jews and foreigners!

Hes shown some extremely exploitable leaks on this season, and overall vs. really good players he just needs to shut up, he is giving away to much info, for example even though Brunson lays down the best hand in the last show he read Jamie gold's body language as super strong. Overall he cracks a real smile when he has a real hand and seems a lot happier.He has grown on me though and I don't mind him, after initially seeing him on WSOP I wanted to urinate in his blueberries.

Saw that...higher flush. I would love to know what he was thinking.

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

All right, I have a question for you exercisers out there...I'm 5'10, about 240 or so, and I have a weight loss bet going where I have to lose at least 7 pounds in 4 weeks, and possibly more depends on how much they lose. Is it possible, through better eating (I eat like shit) and more exercise (I haven't been to the gym in at least 5 months)?

You can lose 5 lbs in the first week with a decent diet and a gallon of water a day.

[Tactical Bear 3]

(not you WangBear)

I used to post under the name "Iceman" so I suppose now I can just go by "WangBearMan." Or "ManBearWang." Not sure what combination sounds best, but I'm a huge fan of Al Gore's Southpark character, so I think I want one of them to stick.

My friends and I use that "Fisher Price My First..." in all kinds of situations. If someone at a stop light pops the clutch and stalls My First Stick Shift, etc, and so on

And I'm going to appropriate it, and give no credit. "Steal" just sounds so much worse/accurate than "appropriate."

All right, I have a question for you exercisers out there...I'm 5'10, about 240 or so, and I have a weight loss bet going where I have to lose at least 7 pounds in 4 weeks, and possibly more depends on how much they lose. Is it possible, through better eating (I eat like shit) and more exercise (I haven't been to the gym in at least 5 months)?

Cinch. CINCH! You can drop 20 pounds in a month if you want, especially since you're pretty overweight right now. If you're not really concerned about the longterm, then you should be eating 1800ish calories a day (that's a very small number for you, probably) spread over 6 meals. Six 300 calorie meals, 3 hours apart. Lean pockets, low-carb meal-replacement bars, slim-fast bars, hard-boiled egges, protein shakes. Seriously, if you're religious about eating every 3 hours, soon enough your metabolism will be spinning in no time. You can drop a half-pound a day no problem.Diet pop, no booze, no juice. No calories except the 1800 allotment. No binging or any of that. Just do it. After a few days, your body will get used to it and you won't even notice.

unrelated: What are the chances that Strat actually realizes that his college football team is undefeated and ranked in the top 10 for the first time since the 50's? I say 30%

I would've taken the over, but only because I've seen Strat mention Mangino's name here before. I've got a soft spot for KU and KSU, since I used to live in Overland Park, KS, spent some time in Lawrence. When I heard KU hired Mangino, my friend and I were looking for 20-1 that they'd go to a BCS bowl during his tenure, but nobody knew what we were talking about.

ron, you keep saying that stuff about me being oblivious, but I seriously have been following it. Apparently Mangino got two more people to verbally commit over the weekend. Maybe KU will finally have a good football program again?

Every year KU makes a bowl -- ANY bowl -- Mangino should win coach of the year. He's always been one of my favorite coaches. He was the O-coordinator on that 2000 Oklahoma National Championship team that was probably the worst National Champion of all time. I don't think there was a single NFL player on that roster, which is a testament to the coaching done by Mangino et. al.

[JSHamm 9]

Whaaa?You want a 100% sure way to lose the weight in a month? Stock up on lean cuisines, lean pockets (you know, the weak hot pockets), and special k (w/skim milk). Bowl of cereal for breakfast, lean cuisine lunch, lean pocket snack, leane cuisine dinner, fruit for 9pm snack. That's about 1200-1400 calories per day but spread out so you're not always hungry. No alcohol during the week, and one night per week you can have a good dinner...make yourself a steak or something (no fast food). Walk for an hour a day and do some pushups and situps at home just to keep up the metabolism.Extremely easy with minimal thinking about what to eat, calorie counting, etc. All you need is a freezer and a microwave. Foolproof if you actually care enough to do it. And yes, it's a pretty gay diet. Works though.These days I like my weight, so I do lean cuisine lunch, light snack, and something really bad for dinner. Am I still talking.

yaaaah!!!he's at 240 right now and you want him to drastically cut down to less calories than my wife, who eats nothing, would eat in a day? it may work at first but guarantee if he cuts that many calories right away his body will start hoarding as much as it can and it'll actually get harder to lose weight after the first 2 weeks. it's a process you have to work into. 2300 calories is a good start and as he loses weight he can certainly, and will eventually, have to cut it down more.

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

yaaaah!!!he's at 240 right now and you want him to drastically cut down to less calories than my wife, who eats nothing, would eat in a day? it may work at first but guarantee if he cuts that many calories right away his body will start hoarding as much as it can and it'll actually get harder to lose weight after the first 2 weeks. it's a process you have to work into. 2300 calories is a good start and as he loses weight he can certainly, and will eventually, have to cut it down more.

Mr. Sparco?

[SBriand 4]

yaaaah!!!he's at 240 right now and you want him to drastically cut down to less calories than my wife, who eats nothing, would eat in a day? it may work at first but guarantee if he cuts that many calories right away his body will start hoarding as much as it can and it'll actually get harder to lose weight after the first 2 weeks. it's a process you have to work into. 2300 calories is a good start and as he loses weight he can certainly, and will eventually, have to cut it down more.

I don't get any of this.Okay, I am 5' 11" 178 lbsI have a gut. Nothing else on me is that fat, just a decent gut that is stil small enough to hide under untucked shirts. Had some tiny prepubescent man boobs going but in the last 3 weeks I have really firmed them up already. I don't get the calorie intake. I want to lose the gut but gain some muscles. What should my diet be?Oh, little back fat at the bottom too.I don't want to be ridculously muscular and I know I won't get the 6 pack, but I want to be leaner and toner.

[Tactical Bear 3]

yaaaah!!!he's at 240 right now and you want him to drastically cut down to less calories than my wife, who eats nothing, would eat in a day? it may work at first but guarantee if he cuts that many calories right away his body will start hoarding as much as it can and it'll actually get harder to lose weight after the first 2 weeks. it's a process you have to work into. 2300 calories is a good start and as he loses weight he can certainly, and will eventually, have to cut it down more.

1200-1400 is probably too little, but he'll still lose a ton of weight if he does that. His body will simply be in starvation mode, and he'll be burning off more muscle than fat trying to stay alive. It sounds to me, though, like Rocket is just trying to get the number on the scale to go down, which could be done one of a million ways. If he's really trying to lose fat and keep it off, he should probably be eating 2200+ calories a day, spread out, until his weight starts falling.

[Ouch-8s 4]

I would've taken the over, but only because I've seen Strat mention Mangino's name here before. I've got a soft spot for KU and KSU, since I used to live in Overland Park, KS, spent some time in Lawrence. When I heard KU hired Mangino, my friend and I were looking for 20-1 that they'd go to a BCS bowl during his tenure, but nobody knew what we were talking about.

Every time I see this I wonder why KU has hired a shemale for their football coach.

[onlyme386 0]

It's not a competition, just a line on how many times Mexi can do it in a day (he's the only one on vacation and willing to try it at the moment). I'm not sure if the final was set at 3.5 or 4.5.

Maybe you're all older than me, but this line seems ridiculously low for a decent prop bet. Personally, I'd put the line at 6.5 or 7.5 I think to make it a real challenge

I didn't catch up, but it seems like you guys might be talking about jerking off, and if you're setting the line at 3.5 or 4.5 I'm gonna have to take the over. It isn't even close either. I don't think six is out of range.

6 is def doable if you want to.

Funniest thing ever.Yes. I think I can probably safely go back to Wang now. I'm going to give it a few more days, make sure the friendship is indeed not ruined, then put myself in a position to ruin it all over again.Agreed. If you're giving a concentrated effort, six or seven is well within the range. I mean, once every 90 minutes for 15 hours would be a ten ball. At that point you'd probably be nearing failure, and past the point of misery, but I think I could do that if I were properly motivated.

10 ball is doable.

I have a 19" LCD monitor and just this morning I turn it on, it works for about a second, and then flashes to a very very very dim mode where if I look realllly hard I can see the screen. I've tried auto-readjust, unplugging it, etc. Any ideas or am I fu.cked?

Warranties FTW. This happened to my 19" Dell (2 years after warranty expired) but I called and told them it was still under warranty and they mailed me a brand new one.

[JSHamm 9]

I don't get any of this.Okay, I am 5' 11" 178 lbsI have a gut. Nothing else on me is that fat, just a decent gut that is stil small enough to hide under untucked shirts. Had some tiny prepubescent man boobs going but in the last 3 weeks I have really firmed them up already. I don't get the calorie intake. I want to lose the gut but gain some muscles. What should my diet be?Oh, little back fat at the bottom too.I don't want to be ridculously muscular and I know I won't get the 6 pack, but I want to be leaner and toner.

calories in < calories out = weight losscalories in > calories out = weight gainbut it all has to be done optimally. cutting calories that drastically is crash dieting and easily gained back while making it harder to lose in the long run because your body isn't used to such a drastic change in caloric intake.anyway, if you're eating good, high protein, decent carbs, low fat but still fat just good fats, and a decent workout program then you're on the right track. it's only been 3 weeks. i don't really know what you do for abs but there's a bunch of things to strength train there as well.

[renaedawn 1]

I used to post under the name "Iceman" so I suppose now I can just go by "WangBearMan." Or "ManBearWang." Not sure what combination sounds best, but I'm a huge fan of Al Gore's Southpark character, so I think I want one of them to stick.

TacticalIceWang.

[JSHamm 9]

1200-1400 is probably too little, but he'll still lose a ton of weight if he does that. His body will simply be in starvation mode, and he'll be burning off more muscle than fat trying to stay alive. It sounds to me, though, like Rocket is just trying to get the number on the scale to go down, which could be done one of a million ways. If he's really trying to lose fat and keep it off, he should probably be eating 2200+ calories a day, spread out, until his weight starts falling.

bingoanyway, i guess it really depends on why you're doing it. to win a bet follow a starvation & sweat program. hell, you could collect in a week.actually trying to lose weight and keep it off then start of at around 2300 cals and track from there.

[Tactical Bear 3]

I don't get any of this.Okay, I am 5' 11" 178 lbsI have a gut. Nothing else on me is that fat, just a decent gut that is stil small enough to hide under untucked shirts. Had some tiny prepubescent man boobs going but in the last 3 weeks I have really firmed them up already. I don't get the calorie intake. I want to lose the gut but gain some muscles. What should my diet be?

66 + 5x(height in CM) + 13.7(weight in KG) -6.8(age in years)That's your basal metabolic rate, and should give you the number of calories you need in a day, assuming you don't move ever. Desk jobs with little/no exercise can multiply that number by 1.2If you run or play sports 2 or 3 times a week, you can multiply it by 1.375WangBearMan

[speedz99 145]

yaaaah!!!he's at 240 right now and you want him to drastically cut down to less calories than my wife, who eats nothing, would eat in a day? it may work at first but guarantee if he cuts that many calories right away his body will start hoarding as much as it can and it'll actually get harder to lose weight after the first 2 weeks. it's a process you have to work into. 2300 calories is a good start and as he loses weight he can certainly, and will eventually, have to cut it down more.

He's trying to win a month long bet. My way will make him lose more weight in that time than yours.And Wang made a good point about no drinking soda. I've known fat people that drink more calories in just sugary drinks than I eat in a regular day.

[Tactical Bear 3]

bingoanyway, i guess it really depends on why you're doing it. to win a bet follow a starvation & sweat program. hell, you could collect in a week.actually trying to lose weight and keep it off then start of at around 2300 cals and track from there.

Yeah, when I'm dieting from scratch (read: when I was 230ish last year), I simply starve myself until I don't look horrible, then follow a plan to boost my metabolism and burn fat. If you REALLY want to burn fat, you probably have to exercize. The best plans involve eating a lot, exercizing it off, and working out. That way you can build muscle and lose fat.

[zimmer4141 0]

Yeah. I should have mentioned that you could also find a significant other who is comfortable with constantly dropping casual hints about the fact that you might want to think about working out, maybe shouldn't eat the second half of that burger, etc.

Find one at JDate.com!