iTommyGavin81 288 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 If this girl cooks you dinner, makes out with you multiple times, let's you diddle her and doesn't have sex with you tonight I'm giving up on advice and commentary about her because she's the strangest girl ever made Link to post Share on other sites
Cha! Cha! 628 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 If this girl cooks you dinner, makes out with you multiple times, let's you diddle her and doesn't have sex with you tonight I'm giving up on advice and commentary about her because she's the steangest girl ever made Well, Napa does have to be in bed by 9:30. Here is my impression of Essay in this thread: Link to post Share on other sites
Essay21 2,385 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I'm sorry mr perfect, I guess I forgot you never ever make a mistake. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 my boss today was like, "you really just don't care anymore, huh?" I texted at 7:15 to say I wasn't going to be in until later in the morning. obviously because computers are being moved everyone is just standing around not working. mind you, not everyone's computer was being moved, but just generally because there was stuff happening, everyone took it to mean it was time to screw around. I guess I don't know what they were expecting. maybe not everyone reacts this way to getting passed over, but to me, I felt like a jerk for trying so hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Cha! Cha! 628 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 ...because there was stuff happening, everyone took it to mean it was time to screw around. Pretty sure that's what it does mean. Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I mean, I obviously said earlier what it is that I was doing during the commotion--making commotion with my lady. hi5 essay 2 Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,752 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I still think saying poker is a physical skill doesn't make any sense, but I wouldn't choose that anyway. And even though you said picking a professional sport probably wouldn't work because you'd still need to get signed by a team, I would choose to be the best basketball player in the world. My start date would be about a week after the Finals are over and I would do everything I can to get noticed during the summer. Find out where NBA players are working out in the summer and get into those games somehow. Make youtube videos. Find an agent and tell him I'll give him half of all NBA earnings if he can get me a try out. It still might not work, but I think it's worth the risk. And if I do make it, I'd be the real life Roy Hobbs. Some old dude who has one amazing year and then never plays again. I didn't say it would work, it would just be really hard to catch on. However, I think YouTube and other places would possibly work. Any specific records you would methodically blow by during your year? Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,752 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 I don't think you would get a big contract in any sport for that first year. Obviously there would be a huge bidding war when you become a free agent since you signed a one-year deal, but would you really go out there another year knowing that you don't have the skill anymore? It's guaranteed money, but you'd be a laughingstock right after being a legend. I think I'd rather go out a legend and always have that mystery and legacy with me. I choose not to run! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cha! Cha! 628 Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 Any specific records you would methodically blow by during your year? Is that something I could choose? Wilt once averaged 50 ppg in a season; even if you were the best it doesn't mean you break that. But if I had the choice between say averaging 35 ppg or 15 assists per game (which would be a record), I would go with the assists. If I could average over 50 ppg, I'd do that. I choose not to run! This was good. Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,752 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 Part of being the best ever at sex would require you to be ridiculously good looking as well as well endowed and have good form. The women being super attracted to your body has to be a part if it. You can't look like me and be considered the best ever no matter how you perform because it takes that initial purely aesthetic desire to reach all time great levels. So obviously you could pick up basically any woman y ou wanted any time you wanted This is totally incorrect. You still look like you. Live where you live. Everything the same except for the skill you have for one year. So if you're the best at sex ever, you still have to convince girls to sleep with you. Maybe hire a hooker and then she would tell her hooker friends to try you out for free or something. Get into porn or something? I would choose being an NFL kicker and punter. I would structure my contract so that it would pay me zero if I didn't reach certain incentives that the team would find impossible. Like every punt all season lands just out of bounds inside the 10. I never miss a field goal or extra point, no matter the length, etc etc. it would be super funny to see if the owner would be pressuring the coach to send me out for like 80 yard field goals in December. (And then watching his face as it sails through) Sports wise, I think golf has the best financial potential. You could easily make the tour, when you shoot a 49 in q school. Then just play every single tourney everywhere. Find tourneys that run Monday through Wednesday in China or something. Win all four majors and then just quit. Say you have enough money, and you don't care about fame. You love your wife, etc. The buzz would be incredible and you would go out on top. I'm with Joey and I absolutely wouldn't choose to screw a team over and have the entire fan base hate me forever by signing a huge contract knowing I would suck. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 This is totally incorrect. You still look like you. Live where you live. Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,752 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 Is that something I could choose? Wilt once averaged 50 ppg in a season; even if you were the best it doesn't mean you break that. Yes. Short of flying or something inhuman, you can basically do anything within the activity that you desire. You're the best that will ever live. You can break any record at will for one year only. Then the stagecoach turns back into a pumpkin. Link to post Share on other sites
Cha! Cha! 628 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 I'll average 50/20/20/5/5 on 75/60/95 shooting. The team will go 77-5 in the regular season and 16-0 in the playoffs. Link to post Share on other sites
iTommyGavin81 288 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 I'd definitely pick golf. Golf everyday, make millions, travel the country for a year Link to post Share on other sites
iQuack 128 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 I'm still going baseball and signing with the Yankees so I don't care if I screw over their fan base. That can call me ARod 2.0. Link to post Share on other sites
frautotenkinder 1,025 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 This is totally incorrect. You still look like you. Live where you live. Everything the same except for the skill you have for one year. So if your the best at sex ever, you still have to convince girls to sleep with you. Maybe hire a hooker and then she would tell her hooker friends to try you out for free or something. Get into porn or something? But hookers and porn actors don't do what they do for the sex, they do what they do for the money and the sex. If your secret power is being the best person to pay to have sex, then maybe. Sorry about the vote, maybe next year have a surprise trip to LA. Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 calling it now, FTK takes this thing and makes it her bitch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tiltinagain 973 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 I will never get used to how LA drivers panic when it rains a little bit. Freeways here were crushed all day because of a little rain. If god was real and mother nature had a sense of humor one of them would make it snow from 6am - noon one day mid week. Just a couple inches and it could melt off by mid afternoon but my god what a great time that would be. Link to post Share on other sites
iQuack 128 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 And airplane food. Am I right? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,752 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 I'm still going baseball and signing with the Yankees so I don't care if I screw over their fan base. That can call me ARod 2.0. Baseball would be an interesting pick. If I did baseball I would definitely want to blow Joe's 56 out of the water. But at what point do you stop seeing pitches? It might get to a point where you wouldn't be able to start and the manager would just have to pinch hit you in bases loaded situations. I would guess that if you had like 10 straight HR's on 10 straight plate appearances, they might even intentionally walk a run home just to avoid the grand slam. That would be amazing. Sorry about the vote, maybe next year have a surprise trip to LA. You don't need to apologize. I was just busting your .... hmm.... balls? Anyway, I knew you had to vote for Strat since he was within a few feet of you. PLUS! I shouldn't have been in the playoffs anyway. JLL deserved it more. It did make me sad that Mexico changed his vote for me though. Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,823 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 if poker counts why can't professional musician count? that seems to be more physically oriented than poker, especially with something like a percussion instrument. Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,752 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 if poker counts why can't professional musician count? that seems to be more physically oriented than poker, especially with something like a percussion instrument. Who said musician didn't count? Link to post Share on other sites
vbnautilus 48 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 . Yes vb, but it's not only your brain. It's your eyes and hands and body language as well. The retina is part of the brain. If you chose to be the best ever at sex, do you think you could parlay that into some sort of endless parade of hot women who want you? It's kind of the same problem that you have with professional sports. You have to get your shot first and then the rest should take care of itself. I mean, if you were literally the best at sex, the women you're with will surely talk about it to other women, right? Or would they hoard that secret in fear of the competition? When I was in grad school, some girl I slept with spread rumors about my...largesse. They all knew. It did not lead to any more sex for me. I will never get used to how LA drivers panic when it rains a little bit. Freeways here were crushed all day because of a little rain. If god was real and mother nature had a sense of humor one of them would make it snow from 6am - noon one day mid week. Just a couple inches and it could melt off by mid afternoon but my god what a great time that would be. If it rains tomorrow, I'm not going to work. Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 I walk around with an obvious boner all day long and it isn't doing me any favors 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Napa Lite 3,278 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 Just a little making out. Nothing more. I can't wait for this week to be over so I can stop talking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
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