I Called In Sick Today

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I somehow missed it....retell?I shudda copyrighted that a long time ago.....You lightweights are slacking

No energy to type it out properly right now, but I willAlso, tonight was a very light night. You know I do 20 beers and some shots when I do my thing. I gotta work tomorrow morning, then have a wedding at 4:30. I have my pregnant co-worker as my date so I can make horribly inappropriate jokes all night, and have a DD. yay

[hank213 1,823]

It's been a shit week and I'd kind of like to go get hammered but I just can't seem to get up off my ass.Maybe I'll go after My Boys is over.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Ashy told me she was going to call me around 11. She has not called yet, so I'm breaking our tentative plans to hang out and going to what I'm pretty sure is a college party. Tonight I shall be Claude, freelance computer programmer. Can't miss.

[Theraflu 1,035]

You lightweights are slacking

Your drunken functionality is truly an amazing thing. I was skeptical at first because I hate Corona and don't know how anyone would drink that much of it, but you switched to Sierra Nevada, and that's some heavy stuff. I've tried to keep up, and its both very expensive and very hard to accomplish anything productive. I was on vacation last week and just watched baseball and drank most of it, and was limited in going out in public. This is the computer/TV setup I watch baseball on.And this is what the last two weeks have produced.I gotta slow down though, I can't fix things or make cool stuff if I'm sober, let alone hammered. You are one of a kind.

[Theraflu 1,035]

P.S. I love the old TV as an entertainment stand, it's the perfect height, and I think it's fun. Cheap entertainment stands suck, and this is perfect viewing height.

[Theraflu 1,035]

Watching the Los Angeles Angels broadcast, they just had a commercial for http://www.aladdinbailbonds.com/ Their motto: "We get you out. We get you through it"Their commercial: "We will ask you one personal question <cut to agent with a client> "Is there anything else I can do for you today?"

[Sickinfo2 291]

Your drunken functionality is truly an amazing thing. I was skeptical at first because I hate Corona and don't know how anyone would drink that much of it, but you switched to Sierra Nevada, and that's some heavy stuff. I've tried to keep up, and its both very expensive and very hard to accomplish anything productive. This is the computer/TV setup I watch baseball on.And this is what the last two weeks have produced.I gotta slow down though, I can't fix things or make cool stuff if I'm sober, let alone hammered. You are one of a kind.

More than one person over the years has commented about my tolerance....All I can say is that the amount I can drink (and function) depends on my mood at the beginning of the session and If Im alone or with othersToday is a good example.... I spent the day alone tending to a few loose ends around the house. The first beer of the day was around eleven and I probably drank fifteen while mowing and cutting a large limb from a walnut tree. I had a light buzz but nothing to prevent driving or anythingA couple weeks ago in Vegas I spent two hours at the dice table with some old friends reminiscing about the good ole days, drank a few beers, and had to chock the bed when I got home to keep it from spinningIve also noticed that altitude makes no difference except for the fact I have to pee more often. My plane has rubber floor mats to combat that phenomenonAlso, Im taking an educated guess here, but Id wager that the desk is slightly older that the cabinet television on the floor, which appears to be a nineteen seventy six modelYour wallet is thick enough to stop a twenty two bullet and I can tell youre right handed by the angle of the blinds above the sillBut I luv ya anyways-R Mex

[Theraflu 1,035]

Also, Im taking an educated guess here, but Id wager that the desk is slightly older that the cabinet television on the floor, which appears to be a nineteen seventy six modelYour wallet is thick enough to stop a twenty two bullet and I can tell youre right handed by the angle of the blinds above the sillBut I luv ya anyways-R Mex

Most of the stuff in the house is my grandfather's, he passed away a couple years at 87. My dad's old bedroom is currently a spare for me, so there's a fair amount of old stuff around, although most of the good stuff already got taken by old women who took advantage of my grandfather's and dad's kindness. I do like this desk, especially since I finally dispatched of my 7 year old 19 inch monitor that weighed 30 pounds. I call myself left-handed, because I write and eat left-handed. Everything else I do is right-handed, from batting/throwing/kicking, and my left hand it useless. I can't write righty, and I feel weird with a fork in that hand. I don't know what you call that.

[Sickinfo2 291]

I call myself left-handed, because I write and eat left-handed. Everything else I do is right-handed, from batting/throwing/kicking, and my left hand it useless. I can't write righty, and I feel weird with a fork in that hand. I don't know what you call that.

I noticed the blinds first but backed up my suspicions with the mouse location.... I can draw with either hand, but cannot write a legible word with my leftI also cannot fly from the right seat with any finesse at all..... I bounce every landing and have to double check the throttle/mixture/prop controls visually before each adjustmentPulling the mix on final causes you to do that

[brvheart 1,752]

No energy to type it out properly right now, but I will

Where has Cindy been? She would find the old story like lightning. Also, most of the checks I write are business related. Certainly your business customer write a tons of checks?

[Nikki_N 17]

Weiner dogs are great guard dogs. I know it sounds weird but it's true. They're very protective of their family and make a lot of fucking noise when someone unfamiliar treads into that territory. Obviously a weinie dog isn't going to take down a burgler if he decides to proceed with his plan but most don't proceed when they hear a dog barking.

My mom had dachshunds and they were very territorial. I miss those dogs.

LG is. She's convinced I'm a lesbian.

You're part lesbian. I can't tell you how much this pleases me.

No energy to type it out properly right now, but I willAlso, tonight was a very light night. You know I do 20 beers and some shots when I do my thing. I gotta work tomorrow morning, then have a wedding at 4:30. I have my pregnant co-worker as my date so I can make horribly inappropriate jokes all night, and have a DD. yay

Is she single?

[Dawson Leery 12]

EXACTLY. you think a burglars gonna rob the guy with a pile of dead pitbulls in his front yard? doubtful. pretty doubtful.

This was good

[Dawson Leery 12]

Oh and by the way...STUFFED a 29 year old babe last night, swagger's back, fuck going on dates

[Voldemort 0]

Oh and by the way...STUFFED a 29 year old babe last night, swagger's back, fuck going on dates

Nice....

[Tactical Bear 3]

Oh and by the way...STUFFED a 29 year old babe last night, swagger's back, **** going on dates

Oh yeah? Well I made out with a drunken cougar on the dance-floor last night.

[El Guapo 8]

Oh yeah? Well I made out with a drunken cougar on the dance-floor last night.

I'm curious. You're somewhere between 24-26 IIRC. What age is a cougar to you?

[Tactical Bear 3]

I'm curious. You're somewhere between 24-26 IIRC. What age is a cougar to you?

I probably play it fast and loose with the term cougar, but the woman last night could have been anywhere from 30-40. I would have guessed about 33, though.

[El Guapo 8]

For me, for a woman to be a cougar I think they would physically have to be able to be your mother. So at an absolute minimum 10-12 years older than you.

[jeff_536 3]

When I was 28, i started dating my boss, who was 40 at the time.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Where has Cindy been? She would find the old story like lightning. Also, most of the checks I write are business related. Certainly your business customer write a tons of checks?

Cindy is good like that, although at first, I thought you meant Idaho, but then I realized that was before your time.Some businesses write lots of checks, sure, but some dont. It's not a necessity now as much as it used to be.

Is she single?

No, thankfully. She's not sexually attractive to me, and wasn't before the pregnancy. And now, yuck. Preggo chicks are gross.

Oh and by the way...STUFFED a 29 year old babe last night, swagger's back, fuck going on dates

Nice. Where did you finish? Please don't say "in the rubber" You have to pull out, yank off the rubber and cum on her.

Oh yeah? Well I made out with a drunken cougar on the dance-floor last night.

Ewww, on the dance floor, with everyone watching? You're that dude?

I probably play it fast and loose with the term cougar, but the woman last night could have been anywhere from 30-40. I would have guessed about 33, though.

eff you

When I was 28, i started dating my boss, who was 40 at the time.

Just as long as he treated you right

[Sal Paradise 57]

damn it, it's all nice and hot outside but I'm all hungover and I can't get off the couch.also: women hate me (still).

[El Guapo 8]

Nice. Where did you finish? Please don't say "in the rubber" You have to pull out, yank off the rubber and cum on her.

LOL. Dawson doesn't use condoms. He is immune to STD's and has impeccable control over his sperm as to only impregnate on command.

[LadyGrey 6]

****ing crazy huge storm here right now. Could be a tornado soon, there's heavy rotation nearby. Someone has been hit by lightning. Strat's shift just started at McDs and I came with him because he doesn't have a basement and I don't know what to do in case of a tornado. While we were walking over there was constant deafening lightning overhead. We ran inside. I am a baby and pretty scared.

[Theraflu 1,035]

****ing crazy huge storm here right now. Could be a tornado soon, there's heavy rotation nearby. Someone has been hit by lightning. Strat's shift just started at McDs and I came with him because he doesn't have a basement and I don't know what to do in case of a tornado. While we were walking over there was constant deafening lightning overhead. We ran inside. I am a baby and pretty scared.

It's 79 and beautiful here. Reffed outside for about 4 hours today, got some sun, came home and grilled some lemon chicken. Just a nice day all around. Also, don't worry about the storm. Lightning doesn't strike Brits.

[LG's Touch 0]

Just after I posted that they closed the McDs and we are now in the basement.