I Called In Sick Today

[Theraflu 1,035]

this may possibly be one of the largest under statements ever in this thread.

He's undershooting so that everyone can disagree and tell him how smart he is. WELL I THINK YOUR STUPID.ps. Friday's suck with no afternoon baseball. Although it is 70's and gorgeous out today, and supposed to reach 80s tomorrow. This after I woke up with frost on my windshield in sub 40 weather on Tuesday. Also, I really enjoy Vanilla Sky. Just a terrific film. I don't know what other tangents I can throw in, but I've hit two two-outers against aces with underpairs on the flop to stay alive in a tourney so far, so I'm going to have to try harder to lose.

[jeff_536 3]

agree totally about the baseball. I've become accustomed over the last two weeks to enjoying some afternoon baseball.

[Tactical Bear 3]

I'll take the over.

this may possibly be one of the largest under statements ever in this thread.

He's undershooting so that everyone can disagree and tell him how smart he is.

You know, I think everybody overestimates his IQ. I took an IQ test when I was younger, and my parents refused to share with me the results, but based on the look of abject disappointment in their eyes, my guess is: it was significantly lower than they had hoped.Also, people ALWAYS overestimate the IQ of persons with good communication skills. Take a genius who has trouble expressing himself and an average Joe with a bard's tongue, put them in front of 10 bright guys, and ask them who is more intelligent. They'll almost always pick the communicator. Despite my self-loathing, I am, above all things, a good communicator. I'm the average Joe with the bard's tongue, except I have, like, the tongue of a hack TV writer from the 80's.

[jeff_536 3]

One of the main components of the Wonderlic intelligence test is how fast you process information. Given unlimited time, most average-intelligence people would be able to get the majority of questions correct. However, with a 12-minute time limit, processing speed becomes a main component in gauging intelligence.You are nothing, if not quick on your feet. I think you'd score much higher than you give yourself credit for on a standard IQ test or on the Wonderlic.

[Tactical Bear 3]

One of the main components of the Wonderlic intelligence test is how fast you process information. Given unlimited time, most average-intelligence people would be able to get the majority of questions correct. However, with a 12-minute time limit, processing speed becomes a main component in gauging intelligence.You are nothing, if not quick on your feet. I think you'd score much higher than you give yourself credit for on a standard IQ test or on the Wonderlic.

All any of you know of me, you've learned from information I've given you. I have a delete key, and all the time in the world. It is IMPOSSIBLE for you to know anything about how quick on my feet I am. Appreciate it, though.

[jeff_536 3]

All any of you know of me, you've learned from information I've given you. I have a delete key, and all the time in the world. It is IMPOSSIBLE for you to know anything about how quick on my feet I am. Appreciate it, though.

Impossible in a 'court of law' kind of way, perhaps. But some things you just can't hide.It's the difference between 'knowing' and 'proving'.

[Sal Paradise 57]

Also I can point and laugh at them and say things like, "Haha, you had sex with me."

really, this is my only motivation to have sex anymore.hell, it was pretty much my main motivation before.

[Theraflu 1,035]

ShimmeringIceBear: I don't post in the music thread, but I heard the new Clipse song with Kanye recently (haven't found a good download yet), but I looked into their new album, and they released a pre-album to it, there's some decent shit on it, if you'd likeThrow a kilo like a free throw.Edited to add a link to the new song w/Kanye. Kinda like a big deal

[Sal Paradise 57]

god I hate clipse

[Theraflu 1,035]

god I hate clipse

I'm the reason the hood need a dental plan.

[Tactical Bear 3]

god I hate clipse

I will kick you so hard it snaps your blasphemer.

[renaedawn 1]

Kim's never wanted a dog - I was thinking that this would be a good reason to get one. However, most family type dogs (labs, goldens) probably aren't great guard dogs is my guess. I was talking about getting a dog with our neighbor yesterday and she said 'Don't get a pit bull' - hmm, our neighbor across the street has one and they seem to be left alone.

Weiner dogs are great guard dogs. I know it sounds weird but it's true. They're very protective of their family and make a lot of fucking noise when someone unfamiliar treads into that territory. Obviously a weinie dog isn't going to take down a burgler if he decides to proceed with his plan but most don't proceed when they hear a dog barking.

[loogie 115]

Who here is surprised that Renae would be into weiner (caesura) dogs?

[renaedawn 1]

Who here is surprised that Renae would be into weiner (caesura) dogs?

LG is. She's convinced I'm a lesbian.

[loogie 115]

LG is. She's convinced I'm a lesbian.

She's projecting.

[Sal Paradise 57]

I'm the reason the hood need a dental plan.

I will kick you so hard it snaps your blasphemer.

black people. YEAH RIGHT.

Who here is surprised that Renae would be into weiner (caesura) dogs?

didn't know what that word meant. googled it. laughed.sbc: 7(sal budweiser count. since nobody would try to figure it out.)

[socalpoker_j 1]

black people. YEAH RIGHT.didn't know what that word meant. googled it. laughed.sbc: 7(sal budweiser count. since nobody would try to figure it out.)

Ah, I just figured out who you were. I'm pretty confident I know who Voldemort is as well. Cleaning ladies are coming to clean my place tomorrow, I should probably take a dump on the floor or something to make them earn their keep.

[loogie 115]

sbc: 7(sal budweiser count. since nobody would try to figure it out.)

lccc: 3(loogie canadian club count.)

[leftygolfer 7]

Andre,Sal had the best idea. Get strapped up.

Sounds like an Army function....

I will kick you so hard it snaps your blasphemer.

He would probably like that.Anyone up for some pokah on Stars?Tourney at 10PM CST.lsc: 2, just poured #3(lefty scotch count)

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

That pic brought out the worst in me....Mr. MomMichael Keaton is vacuuming when his wifes male co-worker come by and picks her upHe asks something about the wiring in the remodel and if its two twenty voltsKeaton responds "Yeah...two twenty...two twenty one....whatever it takes ya know"I use it all the time tooAnother favorite line from that movie Keaton: "Can I get ya a beer or something?"Guy: "Its seven in the morning"Keaton: "Scotch?'

Yeah, I break out movie lines, good ones, all the time. I live my life one movie quote at a time.

As much as we're incompatible as online amigos, I'm pretty confident we'd make a good real-life team. I would probably play the straight man to your funny guy -- the Jenna Fischer to your Steve Carrell, if you will -- but I think it'd be a good arrangement. You're keeping the conversation moving, and then I'm tossing in a quip here and there. When I tell a story (this will come as a shock to all of you, but in real life I'm a "story guy," with voices and characters and everything) you'd throw a jab or two, maybe counterpunch a little, try to land a big hook from time to time. Actually, you'd probably just shake your head furiously and imply I'm a liar, but that'd work, too. What I'm trying to say, Chris, is that if I were in the state of Florida, I'd probably find a way to get to Tampa or Miami or wherever the **** it is you live. I have access to a condo in Sarasota that I'll be venturing to sometime this summer, so if you want to come down and play paddleball on the white-sand beaches of Siesta Key, get your ass kicked in shuffle board, and rouse some rabble in a retirement community, that can be arranged.

I am an excellent quip'er. I'm also great with the insult as someone is telling a story. If nothing else, I can crack on someone to make myself look better. It rarely works. Even tonight, one of my buddies made an awful one line joke, the waitress (not ours, but another one that knows us from coming in there. SHE TALKED TO US FOR FREE) and she just stared after he made the joke, and I just beat him up about how unfunny it was. I'm kind of a douche like that.Not so funny Douche story. At work, we don't curse on interoffice email, but we like to email each other while the other one is helping a client, to make them laugh or whatever. Well, the last name Deutsch is a perfect substitute for douche.

Home got robbed Today - they came mid-day when Kim was dropping off our youngest at pre school. Only on Tuesdays/Thursdays also so they must have been watching our place. They took jewelry and some cash (the kids' cash but took like $100 out of $125 in each of their wallets as if they didn't want to take it all). They also left behind all the electronic equipment and credit cards/checkbooks etc. Sorry Randy, but they did take the $20 SS gift but were kind enough not to damage the display box as they carefully actually put the display box back in its place. Weird.

Well that just sucks balls. The money is nothing, the feeling of being violated is the worst part. Sorry.About three years ago I told the story of being robbed at gunpoint by three Negroes at the bank. That was fun.

wow that's tough so how's the working out going huh?

Dude, I've been you lately, only without the workouts. I hate my job all day every day right now. Makes me miserable when I get home and not want to workout. I know, I suck. I'm working on personal motivation currently.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

sbc: 7(sal budweiser count. since nobody would try to figure it out.)

Ron_Mexico beer count6 Presidente Lights1 Mich Ultra (all that was offered)1 Miller LiteDone for the night. About to play poker, me thinks.

[Theraflu 1,035]

2 Magic Hat HI.P.A's and a Sierra Nevada ESB for me so far. Had to stop to get some sexing in, but she's gone so I can continue.Also, I know no one ever likes hearing other fantasy baseball stories, but my opponent this week has a 1.05 ERA in 51.1 fucking innings. Mine's a sexy 1.61 and I have virtually no shot at winning it this week.

[El Guapo 8]

1 Full Sail Amber Ale ... may move on to Blue Moon.

[Napa_Don 688]

A couple of pints at the local brewery.Do not feel good, have to wake up early to go to a wedding, which has an open bar. Farva: I'll take 6 Schlitzes.Bartender: We don't have that.Farva: Whatever's free.Don't remember: Take it easy Farva.Farva: OPEN BAR DUUUDE.

[Sickinfo2 291]

there are a ton of in shelters all over the place

As soon as I get up the courage to visit one Ill adopt another to keep ours companyI was hoping to find another abandoned one first

Weiner dogs are great guard dogs. I know it sounds weird but it's true. They're very protective of their family

Ive told this story before, but heres a re-cap....Many years ago I had a friend who was involved in weightlifting and the steroid use that usually goes along with it. I didnt have much going at the time so I helped him smuggle preloaded syringes of some kind of roid across the mexican border down in Laredo. I made five trips across with around five hundred or so each time duct taped around my chest, arms, and legs. The shots cost a buck each and we sold them for twelveMy spidey sense tingled and I quit smuggling the trip before he was busted. My luck was good back then....ANYWAY, he had a weenie dog at home and shot it up with the stuff, turning it in to a thirty pound muscle that could take down a full sized bullWhen you knocked on his door, "Buddy" would hit it like a sledgehammer.... the screws holding the hinges has to be tightened every few daysThats my weenie dog story

Who here is surprised that Renae would be into weiner (caesura) dogs?

Nobody

sbc: 7

lccc: 3

lsc: 2

About three years ago I told the story of being robbed at gunpoint by three Negroes at the bank

I somehow missed it....retell?

Ron_Mexico beer count

2 Magic Hat HI.P.A's and a Sierra Nevada ESB for me so far

I shudda copyrighted that a long time ago.....You lightweights are slackingZach picked up two full trashbags of bottles behind the shop today