you know you're playing a fish when he says...

[justblaze 0]

I work in a poker room, and a new player comes  up to me.  He asks what games we have available.  I tell him "they're all hold'em"  He says "yes, but do you have Texas Holdem?"   Yikes.

fish says: the only kind of holdem is texas holdem. fish also says: i work in a poker room.sounds like this card room has some serious problems.

[mrdannyg 274]

Two different home games, two different players:-------------There are three people to the flop with two diamonds. There is a raise and a re-raise. The third player folds. On the turn is a club.  A raise, re-raise and a call. On the turn, there is a huge raise and a call. The same on the river.  The raiser had top two pair. And the re-raiser....he puts his hand down on the table trimphantly and says, "Flush."He had 4 diamonds. Too bad he wasn't drinking, he could have blamed it on the alcohol.--------------I hold AK suited and I raise on the button pre-flop after several limpers. My friend's girlfriend calls my bet and everyone else folds. She had been running hot and was slightly behind me at this point.The guys at the table like to provide running commentary, so they start off, "Oh, this is a big hand. Chip Leader Vs. Red-Head!"The flop is A:diamond: Q:club: 2:heart:  She checks, I raise heavy and she re-raises. I study her for a minute and then call while listening to the other fishes guessing as to what we both have. "He could have a pair of queens, or a set of 2's. She's gonna play her KJ fast so he folds." Blah blah blah....The turn is K:spade:  She checks, I bet out again, she re-raises me. I call again, going with my read that she's weak, extremely interested in what she has. "She definately has Jack-10, Chip Leader just lost the pot to a King on the turn!"The river brings a 4:spade:She checks, I bet and she goes all-in. "That's it, its over, you can't call here!" I call and flip over two pair. She flips over J-6 off-suit.She says, "I thought I could bluff you off your hand."Everyone is schocked. No one says a word. I won the rest of the game with sweet silence.

sorry, but i must protest.the first person to act may check or bet.if they check, the next person bets.if that person bets, the next person may fold, call or raise.if the original person bets, the next to act may fold, call or raise.a person cannot reraise a single bet (they can only raise).and a person cannot raise if no one has bet before them (they may only bet).yes i'm being anal since you described the action otherwise clearly, but people don't always accomplish the latter.danielp.s. i HATE j6o

[the_charleroi_ki 0]

i've seen kids walking to play cards with gray hoodies on and the hoods up try to be the unabomber 10 minutes later i see them walkign home crying

[the_charleroi_ki 0]

how about when a 10 year old asks you to teach him how to play cards and you ask why and he tells u he lost 80 bucks playing omaha hi/lo

[loogie 115]

i've seen kids walking to play cards with gray hoodies on and the hoods up try to be the unabomber 10 minutes later i see them walkign home crying

Really? You've seen them crying? Multiple times?

[the_charleroi_ki 0]

well it was the same kid multiple times

[pjtwoone 0]

I play in a home game and our "whale" constantly says before the flop that he has to call as he is pot commited, he means it too even after everyone is rolling around laughing!

[pjtwoone 0]

I play in a home game and our "whale" constantly says before the flop that he has to call as he is pot commited, he means it too even after everyone is rolling around laughing!

[nutzbuster 7]

I have AK suited and raise $75 pre flop.All Fold 'cept the BB who raises $100 more.I call.Flop is A-K-8 rainbow.I bet $75.BB goes all in!I break a finger beating him into the pot.He shows me Q-Q ! He called all in after that flop holding Q-Q. Unreal.Of course he turns a Q and it's time to go to the bar.As I'm leaving he says "how's it feel to be dominated?"Oh Brother.If I was the violent type they'd be requesting his dental charts about now.Best...

[GhostfaceKillah 0]

[PAYforUSC 0]

when your chat says *** KowboyKoop has posted ante ***

[thenutlow 0]

I have a stellar tipyou know when people are a fish when they say"im a regular poster on full contact poker"burnnn

[Bizzle 0]

I have a stellar tipyou know when people are a fish when they say"im a regular poster on full contact poker"burnnn

Look right below your username. Right under it. Like the next line.:-)

[Incubus77546 0]

I have a stellar tipyou know when people are a fish when they say"im a regular poster on full contact poker"burnnn

Look right below your username. Right under it. Like the next line.:-)

BURN!

[KowboyKoop 0]

when your chat says *** KowboyKoop has posted ante ***

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......lame. Seriously though, I'm the man.

[thenutlow 0]

I have a stellar tipyou know when people are a fish when they say"im a regular poster on full contact poker"burnnn

Look right below your username. Right under it. Like the next line.:-)

wow, you mean that part that means I dont have as many posts as you?shit, I forgot about that.. I ignored the most important factor of juvenile posting on second rate forums.THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS THE POST COUNT!!!great life you lead!

[PAYforUSC 0]

when your chat says *** KowboyKoop has posted ante ***

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......lame. Seriously though, I'm the man.

[Bizzle 0]

wow, you mean that part that means I dont have as many posts as you?censored, I forgot about that.. I ignored the most important factor of juvenile posting on second rate forums.THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS THE POST COUNT!!!great life you lead!

I was just commenting on the irony of you posting about calling someone a noob when they are a regular poster, when it says that you yourself are a regular poster.Didn't you Brits have something to do with the invention and popularization of irony? I would have thought you would understand.

[thenutlow 0]

wow, you mean that part that means I dont have as many posts as you?censored, I forgot about that.. I ignored the most important factor of juvenile posting on second rate forums.THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS THE POST COUNT!!!great life you lead!

I was just commenting on the irony of you posting about calling someone a noob when they are a regular poster, when it says that you yourself are a regular poster.Didn't you Brits have something to do with the invention and popularization of irony? I would have thought you would understand.

LOLvery good.. i feel ashamed to admit that i just got the previous postI am the first to admit when i get 'outplayed'serves me right for assuming most yanks are idiots. Congrats!

[Guest]

wow, you mean that part that means I dont have as many posts as you?censored, I forgot about that.. I ignored the most important factor of juvenile posting on second rate forums.THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS THE POST COUNT!!!great life you lead!

woah, easy there haus..take a deep breath and relaxthis is for fun and you're getting all worked up

[justblaze 0]

wait - TNL - is RGP a first rate forum?

[thenutlow 0]

wait - TNL - is RGP a first rate forum?

no sir, its a newsgroup. Surely you knew that

[Bizzle 0]

LOLvery good.. i feel ashamed to admit that i just got the previous postI am the first to admit when i get 'outplayed'serves me right for assuming most yanks are idiots. Congrats!

My night now feels accomplished. Thanks, trust me, coming from you that means a lot.

[justblaze 0]

wait - TNL - is RGP a first rate forum?

no sir, its a newsgroup. Surely you knew that

eat me, you nitpicker!

[thenutlow 0]

LOLvery good.. i feel ashamed to admit that i just got the previous postI am the first to admit when i get 'outplayed'serves me right for assuming most yanks are idiots. Congrats!

My night now feels accomplished. Thanks, trust me, coming from you that means a lot.

lolIt was a very sly comment man, I cant believe i didn't analyse all the angles before coming to an optimal decision.all thats left to say is very impressive!