you know you're playing a fish when he says...

[chipinchair 0]

Playing a 2/4NL game on FullTilt. I bought in for $400 and was up to about $605, I raise pre-flop with AK diamonds, get 2 callers. Flop comes 2-4-6 with two diamonds. I was in position and fired out a pot-sized bet on the flop following 2 checks (about $36), I get one caller. Turn comes diamond, he bets $72 (pot) and I raise to $140, he re-raises to 210 and I go all in for my remaining chips. He turns over 8-9 diamonds and is drawing dead to my nut flush. I had $1208 after the hand and the fish says:Fish: "I thought you were on a draw to the A high flush"Me: "Yeah, like I would risk $500 more on a draw"Fish: "Keep playing like that and I'll get all your chips"Me: "I already have all of yours, I am getting out of here soon"Fish: "Stick around so I can get my money back"Me: "I am hungry, I am having fish for dinner...again"Fish: "%$@!^ a$$ hole"lol. I then went on to beat AA when my QQ filled up and made another 500, I left the table with $1600 after buying in for 400. I had fish for dinner.

[ForRealDD 0]

Playing live.... the kid who looks like he's about 15-16, with an ipod and sunglasses answers his phone loudly after dragging a 12 dollar 1/2 nl pot..."I cant talk right now I'm working", then goes on to brag to the table about how hes a professional and the next coming of (insert pro).

I love this post..

[Guest XXEddie]

playing heads up with a guy who has checked the river with the nuts 3 times (including quads) and checked a very strong handme-why dont you bet the nutshim-why should I, you would fold..............

[RayPowers 0]

playing heads up with a guy who has checked the river with the nuts 3 times (including quads) and checked a very strong handme-why dont you bet the nutshim-why should I, you would fold..............

How much will you sell your Magic Goggles #1 for?Ray

[iCtrl 0]

you log on to party poker.....

I 2nd this one.

[shoops 0]

Me: Nice handfish: i didn't want you to call but i guess you did not believe meMe Spoken like a true fishHand:Me JJFish J7 clubsFlop; 10 5 2 (two clubs)i raised preflop, he called, flop: i bet out he raises i reraise all in.Quick Call, river club.

[ShakeZuma 585]

I always love it when someone pushes all in for like 50bb into an unraised pot, and a guy after him says "I have to call for the size of the pot"sweet math.thats probably already been posted, but I can't read.

[Cap'n Mal 0]

This one's from the other night. It's a bar-tourney league, but we're up to the finals for the season. About 12 players left (out of 100 to start), the final table of 8 gets prizes, with the top 3 getting decent stuff.Tight agressive, but short stacked player raises all in from early position.A lady who has unbelievable luck at catching cards, but is otherwise a weak player is in the BB. The call is for about 3/4 of her chips, and she's not particularly committed to the hand thus far. She thinks for about 2 minutes and then says "On TV, they call with this." And ultimately decides to call. Initial raiser turns up JJ, she turns up 56o and then says "Oops, I thought I had a pair of 6s".Flop is Q Q 4 ... turn and river bring running 7 8 to give her the straight.

[gkunit20 1]

This one's from the other night. It's a bar-tourney league, but we're up to the finals for the season. About 12 players left (out of 100 to start), the final table of 8 gets prizes, with the top 3 getting decent stuff.Tight agressive, but short stacked player raises all in from early position.A lady who has unbelievable luck at catching cards, but is otherwise a weak player is in the BB. The call is for about 3/4 of her chips, and she's not particularly committed to the hand thus far. She thinks for about 2 minutes and then says "On TV, they call with this." And ultimately decides to call. Initial raiser turns up JJ, she turns up 56o and then says "Oops, I thought I had a pair of 6s".Flop is Q Q 4 ... turn and river bring running 7 8 to give her the straight.

Whadya win?

[shedrackle 0]

In a live game, asks the dealer... supposed the flop is 4 aces do we split the pot....lol

[Guest XXEddie]

full ring game6 limpers, BB doubles the BB, all limpers callflop is rags, BB check/foldsbb-This game is full of fish, its impossible to steal the pot before the flop

[Guest XXEddie]

Fish-"Man, this is why I hate poker, people always come and leave quickly. The should have some tables set up where you play untill one person has all the money"Me-".....they have those"Fish-"No they dont you morn"Me-"Yeah they do..............theyre called TOURNAMENTS"

[turd ferguson 1]

I don't usually post on this thread because I find it self-righteous, but I'm half drunk and bored so here goes. I'm playing $5-10 limit holdem six max last night. I raise in mid position with Q 10 and get three bet from the button. I call and only two of us go to the flop. Flop: A Q J I check and call his bet. The turn gives me trip queens so I lead and get raised again. I call, and the river is the A . I check, and my opponent thinks for a few seconds and checks behind me. At this point I think he has a queen as well, and we are chopping the pot. Then he turns up A A ! He has quads, and the stone cold nuts, but checked behind me. I was completely baffled. I was laughing hysterically.

[Guest XXEddie]

bump

[76clubs 0]

Holy Crap I can't believe this thread is still around.

[tyfgine 0]

Holy Crap I can't believe this thread is still around.

[Golden 2]

Holy Crap I can't believe this thread is still around.

[Razor 0]

bump this shit ...I don't know why I enjoy these so much.

[zedd2005 0]

you know ure playing a fish when they tell you they are a fish

[Golden 2]

you know you're playing a fish when they say "my name is redpill"If this was used previosuly, my bad.

[bascomeb 0]

yeah but it is funny as could be, besides everyone famous makes a few boo-boos in their career.

Wait how can Arnold making money off a movie be a boo boo? :roll:

[bascomeb 0]

Fish-"Man, this is why I hate poker, people always come and leave quickly. The should have some tables set up where you play untill one person has all the money"Me-".....they have those"Fish-"No they dont you morn"Me-"Yeah they do..............theyre called TOURNAMENTS"

had to quote this. thats hilarious

[Fluffdog87 2]

I don't usually post on this thread because I find it self-righteous, but I'm half drunk and bored so here goes. I'm playing $5-10 limit holdem six max last night. I raise in mid position with Q 10 and get three bet from the button. I call and only two of us go to the flop. Flop: A Q J I check and call his bet. The turn gives me trip queens so I lead and get raised again. I call, and the river is the A . I check, and my opponent thinks for a few seconds and checks behind me. At this point I think he has a queen as well, and we are chopping the pot. Then he turns up A A ! He has quads, and the stone cold nuts, but checked behind me. I was completely baffled. I was laughing hysterically.

Quad Queens are the nuts here. wtf.r u blind

[Fluffdog87 2]

sw obviously.my post count is 666, so i am clearly a an evil fish.

[kers2 0]

I don't usually post on this thread because I find it self-righteous, but I'm half drunk and bored so here goes. I'm playing $5-10 limit holdem six max last night. I raise in mid position with Q 10 and get three bet from the button. I call and only two of us go to the flop. Flop: A Q J I check and call his bet. The turn gives me trip queens so I lead and get raised again. I call, and the river is the A . I check, and my opponent thinks for a few seconds and checks behind me. At this point I think he has a queen as well, and we are chopping the pot. Then he turns up A A ! He has quads, and the stone cold nuts, but checked behind me. I was completely baffled. I was laughing hysterically.

Quad Queens are the nuts here. wtf.r u blindsw obviously.my post count is 666, so i am clearly a an evil fish.

That's not even remotely close to being funny