you know you're playing a fish when he says...

[thrillsoft 0]

I'm playing $2/$5 NL in my favorite local card club here in NY and a friend of mine and this kid who looks like this is his first time out of the trailer park and has been saying stupid stuff all night and basically announcing what a moron his is to the rest of the table get into a hand. Earlier when one of the guys at the table was chatting with the dealer a young attractive girl from Venezuela about where she was from, this loser kid announces out of nowhere that she is "the future mother of his child" to her obvious horror.Anyway, now my friend and this kid are in a hand and the flop comes out K K 8 . My friend bets out $50 and this loser calls. The turn comes 8 , double-pairing the board. My friend bets $150 and the loser calls again. Now the river comes 3 and my friend again bets $150. This loser raises all-in for his last $400 or so. My friend calls immediately and turns over his Kx and revealing the obvious hand of "Kings Full" expecting a split pot. Now get this...The LOSER turns over a 10 high FLUSH! The dealer announces my friend the winner, and slides the massive pot over to my friend. The LOSER kid with no chips left quietly gets up from the table and walks out. We're all laughing and commenting for several minutes about how dumb he must be to have chased and then bet a flush with that board.Now we get back to the game and its a friendly mix of all of us regulars and we're carrying on having a good time when all of a sudden the loser kid shows back up standing at the table and asks the entire table at once...."How did I lose that hand? Did he have a full house or something?" Entire table bursts into laughter as the dealer says: "YEAH!... He did.""Oh, just wondering." says the loser and quietly walks out for good.As he left, I looked the pretty young dealer straight in the eye and said: "Ariana, you're going to have one STUPID kid!"The whole table burst into laughter and we couldn't stop talking about this total fish this guy was all night. He's truly the dumbest player I've ever met.

[socalpoker_j 1]

Playing live.... the kid who looks like he's about 15-16, with an ipod and sunglasses answers his phone loudly after dragging a 12 dollar 1/2 nl pot..."I cant talk right now I'm working", then goes on to brag to the table about how hes a professional and the next coming of (insert pro).

[Guest XXEddie]

Actually KJs IS a better hand. Sklansky has it in Group 3, yet doesn't have A2 in any group.What does he know, though?"Sit down and shut up" - and I need the midol?

you have a pointIf Sklansky said it, it must be true

[mused01 0]

sklansky, someone who has played the game more than you've lived and termed EV for poker, sure as hell knows more about poker than you do Eddie.KJs is indeed a better hand than A2....except in HU situation. much easier to play KJ in a Jack high board multiway than it is to play A2 in an A high board.

[gerund 0]

On UB new Royal Tables...That's played with a deck of Ace to Ten only, so high cards A and K rule and J T are nothing.New player sits down and gives the table about half her buyin playing JT and QT and KT, then announces to the table that there is something wrong, because she's only been playing "GOOD" cards and has lost every hand with "GOOD" cards.Someone tells her it's a Royal table, but she goes on and on and on and on about how can this happen every hand, how can there be a boat every hand, how can she lose when she has a straight or a boat.Meanwhile her stack is going down and down and down.Someone tells her again that it's Ace to Ten, but she doesn't want to know.I love these Royal Tables. All new players are amusing

[nell789 0]

sklansky, someone who has played the game more than you've lived and termed EV for poker, sure as hell knows more about poker than you do Eddie.KJs is indeed a better hand than A2....except in HU situation. much easier to play KJ in a Jack high board multiway than it is to play A2 in an A high board.

True, but it is much harder to play KJ on a King high board than it is to play A2 on a 2 high board.

[mused01 0]

[mused01 0]

sklansky, someone who has played the game more than you've lived and termed EV for poker, sure as hell knows more about poker than you do Eddie.KJs is indeed a better hand than A2....except in HU situation. much easier to play KJ in a Jack high board multiway than it is to play A2 in an A high board.

True, but it is much harder to play KJ on a King high board than it is to play A2 on a 2 high board.

yet another fish quote is added...LOL

[nell789 0]

sklansky, someone who has played the game more than you've lived and termed EV for poker, sure as hell knows more about poker than you do Eddie.KJs is indeed a better hand than A2....except in HU situation. much easier to play KJ in a Jack high board multiway than it is to play A2 in an A high board.

True, but it is much harder to play KJ on a King high board than it is to play A2 on a 2 high board.

yet another fish quote is added...LOL

I didn't think I actually needed to add the (sw)...I thought wrong.

[Guest XXEddie]

sklansky, someone who has played the game more than you've lived and termed EV for poker, sure as hell knows more about poker than you do Eddie.KJs is indeed a better hand than A2....except in HU situation. much easier to play KJ in a Jack high board multiway than it is to play A2 in an A high board.

theres a diffrence between better hand, and more playableA2-better handKJs-more playable

[thatguy 0]

" I fold aces preflop if theres more than 5 players in the pot"

[Razor 0]

Fish: How can I possibly win when people play Q-2 offsuit to the river?Fish: (we're playing 3-6) You'd NEVER see these kinds of hands played in Vegas!!Me: Why not? .. Do only good players play in Vegas?Fish: Ya ... besides, they don't even play limits as low as 3/6!Me: (laughing) ... you've obviously never been to vegas.

[looshle 6]

sklansky, someone who has played the game more than you've lived and termed EV for poker, sure as hell knows more about poker than you do Eddie.KJs is indeed a better hand than A2....except in HU situation. much easier to play KJ in a Jack high board multiway than it is to play A2 in an A high board.

theres a diffrence between better hand, and more playableA2-better handKJs-more playable

I'm sorry I guess I just pick my starting hand by how much profit I expect from it.I think the hand with a bigger expected gain is a better hand.A2 is a better hand than KJs heads up, but KJs is a much better hand. I can't believe we even have to argue this point. You're really better than that aren't you Eddie? Or have I given you way too much credit?All this time I thought hands were grouped by their strength.....Group 1 hands are BETTER than Group 2 hands. Group 2 hands are BETTER than group 3 hands, etc.Sit down.Shut up.Stop being so stubborn. It's really pathetic.

[gerund 0]

Playing $100 buy in NL when the following conversation took place:-Donk: Gerund, where are you from?Me: Didn't your mother tell you?Donk: Right! All in next hand! You mentioned my mother.(my hole cards show and I have AA. I go all in for $100 and all the table folds)Donk: Why did you do that?Me: You told me to.Donk: Right! Next hand all in.(my hole cards show and I have KK. I go all in for more than $100. The donk calls and his cards are something like 97o. He can't beat my pp and I take down a $200+ pot)Donk: again?I left the table with his money.

[Abbaddabba 0]

theres a diffrence between better hand, and more playable A2-better hand KJs-more playable

I guess if you want to term 'better' in a way that it isn't at all applicable to situations that you'll ever be facing, then you can say that A/2off is 'better'.

[Canada 0]

Actually KJs IS a better hand. Sklansky has it in Group 3, yet doesn't have A2 in any group.What does he know, though?"Sit down and shut up" - and I need the midol?

you have a pointIf Sklansky said it, it must be true

Exactly - and if Eddie said it it is definately questionable

[....Ian.... 0]

playing live limit Omaha.fish (to me) "man you only bet the river with the nuts"me "umm you know we are playing omaha right?"

[matthew r 0]

well ****I ****ingI flopped the nuts and still lost every mother****ing time. Every mother****ing time. God damn mother****.I don't know what to do. I guess I have to go back down to the kiddie tables. **** **** **** **** ********oops sorry redpill

[mrdannyg 274]

sklansky, someone who has played the game more than you've lived and termed EV for poker, sure as hell knows more about poker than you do Eddie.KJs is indeed a better hand than A2....except in HU situation. much easier to play KJ in a Jack high board multiway than it is to play A2 in an A high board.

True, but it is much harder to play KJ on a King high board than it is to play A2 on a 2 high board.

yet another fish quote is added...LOL

I didn't think I actually needed to add the (sw)...I thought wrong.

disturbing that it was necessary for that post. then again, if you mosey around strat, i'll bet you'll find a post discussing the difficulties of playing A2 on a 2-high board

[koshu 0]

In cash games:"I have to go all in preflop with good hands because the river always beats me." He lost the first all in with A-Ks, reloaded, lost another one with Q-6o and quit.

[gerund 0]

Bump to 30 pages

[Guest XXEddie]

http://fullcontactpoker.com/poker-forums/v...pic.php?t=36614no matter how many times I tryed to explain, this moron still thinks he flopped the nuts with 55, when it came KT5...and he thinks if you have a gutshot str8 draw, you have 1 out, not four

[Rybo 0]

Guy in vegas tells me, "No two cards are better than any other two cards before the flop." I said, "No two card have won yet but some have definite statistical advantages over others." To which he says, "You take aces and I'll take any other two cards and we will go all in." When the whole table started to laugh at him, he shut up.

[looshle 6]

Hey Eddie, whats the worst starting hand in holdem?

[Rybo 0]

Hey Eddie, whats the worst starting hand in holdem?

Nice :-)