you know you're playing a fish when he says...

[RDigger 0]

"Tournaments are for suckers!" -Smasharoo

[CJHunt 0]

I'm an idiot

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Agreed.

[DCWildcat 0]

"Tournaments are for suckers!" -Smasharoo

clearly, smash is a huge fish

[MaxStrick 0]

Me: "You're telling me you're trying to play NO-LIMIT OHAMA?"Man#1: "Yeah."This time, I was able to just laugh. Took back my money and left.Nasty stuff, but your lady's "house rules" easily top either one of them.

What the hell is so horribley fishy about no limit omaha? It is spread at certain casinos...just because you are ignorant doesn't make somebody else a fish.

[flyingmachine 0]

After losing a couple pots, fish says, "Hey, at least I am gaining a shitload of UB points here"

[mrdannyg 274]

Here is my input on the soccer athletes vs. hockey athletes argumentYes, skating is tiring and the hockey players hit each other harder. However, they wear helmets and PADDING!!!!!!!!  Not to say it still doesn't hurt, but they do have some protection.In soccer, there are quite a few hard collisions with no padding, and YES, soccer players pretty much DO run around for 90 minutes. Also, the hockey players are constantly subbing in and out, while soccer players play the whole time.   Thus, soccer players, on average, are better conditioned athletes and better athletes overall.My freshman year of college a couple years ago, my roommate was a hockey player in high school, I was a runner in high school, and one of our friends was a soccer team who was playing for the college. We had the argument over who was better conditioned, and of course everyone argued for their sport. So, we went to the track and raced/timed a mile. I ran 4:59, the soccer player ran 5: 21 or something close to that, and the hockey player ran 6:34. Afterward, he couldn't believe how fast we were and was forced to admit that hockey players aren't quite as conditioned as us.   I know this is only one example, but I am sure that this is generally how it would turn out.With all that being said, boxers are the best conditioned athletes overall, no questions asked (this does not include the overweight heavyweight fighters).   They must be athletic in every single way while getting hit in the face.

What about cyclists. Look at the Tour de France. You have to be seriously fit to compete in that. Miguel Indurain the Spanish rider who won 5 times had a resting heart rate of 28bpm, your average person has a resting heart rate of 60 - 70 bpm. The other side of that, when racing, he had a heart rate of 220 and could keep that going for 4-6 hours (enough to kill most people).As for hockey players vs football (soccer as you call it) players. They worked out David Beckham runs between 6-9 miles each match.

About cyclinst, yes, they are in extremely good shape. However, the fact that they don't take a pounding on their legs like runners do, or like boxers do over the upper part of their bodies, takes away from them A LITTLE BIT, but just a little. I still say boxers are the overall best conditioned though, as getting hit in the face is a major obstacle that noone else experiences.

just further proof that drinking is the only real sport.

[Canada 0]

In the middle of a NL Holdem game at a local bar (MTT).  The tournament director also happened to be playing at our table.  Early on in the game I am heads up with him holding A8.  Flop is A83.  I check.  He says "I bet 300."  I stack up 750 in chips and push them out.  He says "Ok, he called."  Lady next to me says "No, no.  He raised."TD: "He didn't say 'raise'."Me: "Well, I put 750 out in front of me."TD: "Yeah, but you didn't say 'raise'."Me: "What does that matter?  I put the chips in very clearly."TD: "You gotta say 'raise' though."Me: "Fine.  I'll say 'raise' from now on.  But tell me now if there are any other house rules I should know about...."Man #1: "Well, it's like Holdem, except you get 4 cards instead of 2."Man#2: "Oh, I can figure that out then."Man #1: "Yeah, but here's the thing.  You can only use 2 cards to make your hand, and you HAVE to use 2 of your cards."Man #2: "Is that it?"Man #1: "Yeah, everything else is the same.  The board is the same, the betting is the same..."Me: "Wait, why are you saying the betting is the same?"Man #1: "Cause you bet the same way."Me: "The same way you would bet in pot-limit holdem, you mean."Man #1: "No, we never play pot-limit.  We only play no-limit."Me: "You're telling me you're trying to play NO-LIMIT OHAMA?"Man#1: "Yeah."This time, I was able to just laugh.  Took back my money and left.

The first one is a pretty standard/common rule.The second one is not that unheard of.I think you and XXEddie should get together - I think you would get along

[Abbaddabba 0]

I have no idea why you wouldnt want to play no limit omaha against people who've played hold em exclusively. They will, without a shadow of a doubt, overplay all of their hands. The removal of the pot sized bet limit is the best thing you could conceivably have happen.You'll have flushes calling all ins on paired boards. You'll have sets calling all in with boards that have 3 to a straight and 3 to a flush. You'll have bottom sets that fill up calling all in's EVERY TIME. You'll probably have a few shmucks calling off huge bets on the river because the river brought 4 to a flush, and they had a naked A of that suit - not realizing that you need to use two cards. Why would you want to be constrainted by the size of the pot?

[flyingmachine 0]

I have no idea why you wouldnt want to play no limit omaha against people who've played hold em exclusively. They will, without a shadow of a doubt, overplay all of their hands. The removal of the pot sized bet limit is the best thing you could conceivably have happen.You'll have flushes calling all ins on paired boards. You'll have sets calling all in with boards that have 3 to a straight and 3 to a flush. You'll have bottom sets that fill up calling all in's EVERY TIME. You'll probably have a few shmucks calling off huge bets on the river because the river brought 4 to a flush, and they had a naked A of that suit - not realizing that you need to use two cards. Why would you want to be constrainted by the size of the pot?

This thread isn't about arguing about NL or PL Omaha, go away.

[Rokuban 0]

I stack up 750 in chips and push them out. He says "Ok, he called." Lady next to me says "No, no. He raised."TD: "He didn't say 'raise'."Me: "Well, I put 750 out in front of me."TD: "Yeah, but you didn't say 'raise'."Me: "What does that matter? I put the chips in very clearly."TD: "You gotta say 'raise' though."Me: "Fine. I'll say 'raise' from now on. But tell me now if there are any other house rules I should know about.

The first one is a pretty standard/common rule.

No it isn't. When you stack an amount superior to the bet in several chips and push them in front of you, behind the line, it is a raise, whether you said something or not.Hold'em is a game you can play without saying a word.Unless you make up your own rules, of course, which is unfortunately the case in a lot of places.Try doing that in a casino and then take back the excess chips stating that you never said "raise".

[DUSTINFLYZ172 0]

This isn't a fish quote, but something I love asking."Why are you wearing Sunglasses in a 3-6 game?"Dustin

[Scamlan 0]

I raise 4x the BB. Fish Calls with T6o and hits two pairHe says "Why wouldn't I call a raise? I had a ten!"

[gerund 0]

Playing tonight on Party NL.I get KK in late position and since I'm playing a modified Smash system I bet half a buy in. One caller directly after me (he has position).Flop Axx and I push the rest of my money.Donk says "Pocket Aces" and calls me. He has pocket Jacks and I take the pot.He thought I had AA against his JJ so he is drawing to 2 outs runner runner to make quads to win and he still calls.Why do I play Smash's system? Because I win constantly when fish call with dominated hands.Oh yes and BUMP

[fmlycar 0]

this was said today after it came runner runner straight and he "knew" he shoulda called"PokerYouth: no i have just played enough online to know when the board is setting up a pattern for a dramatic finishfmlycar: it's rigged ............ there's no such thing as a random number generator, it's a dramatic finish number generator

[FREDDIE MERCURY 0]

When you have to change decks after each hand b/c of retrieving the cards from aquarium.

[DCWildcat 0]

When you have to change decks after each hand b/c of retrieving the cards from aquarium.

that made my day

[gerund 0]

Pinch pinch... oops wrong thread(or is it?)

[Guest XXEddie]

6 handed, i have 1700binds 100/200 and will be 150.300 next handI have ATs UTG, I move allinBB:I guess Ill call with my AJ"Me: I guess my AK will beat youBB: HAHAHA moron, you just told me you have me beat, Ill fold now...moron!!!!Me: oops, that was a typo, I had AT not AK....now comes the best partBB:.....so what, youll never know when the ten will come

[gerund 0]

BB:.....so what, youll never know when the ten will come

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha oops - where are my Incontinence Pants?Donk being told how to play Holdem - we get to the part about betting between the flop, turn and river.Donk: How do I know what to bet before the flop?Me: Well you have to work out what is likely to come and give you a hand. Then you bet accordingly.Donk: But anything could come! The possibilities are endless! Any two cards could win!Me: ...

[Gibbo 0]

Playing heads up online sitngo.."Man can you beleive some moron told me 55 are a favourite against KQ unsuited pre-flop, i mean what an idiot."

[RainDogz 0]

Cracked the pw for a $3000 norwegian freeroll. About 770 Norwegians and Finnish donkeys registerd. Good times!After 6 hours of play i'm at the final table with a slight chiplead.This fish has been raving on in the chat about how he is the best bluffer in Europe and jadajadajada.. He actually gets some cred from Observer-fishes that he somehow managed to knock out.Blinds at this point 6000/12000I make it 36000 from MP with A Q All folds except fish in SB who calls. Pot 84000.Flop Q K K Fish check, I bet 12000, fish calls.Turn 6 Fish check, I bet 12000, fish calls.River 2 Pot 132000At this point I'm dying for a raise from the best bluffer in Europe, and Yes i love it, he makes a bet of 80000.I instantly call, since i want the table and all the observers to see his cards.He shows 4 7 His statement in the chatbox: "OMG that was sooo lucky!!"Observer: "lol yea right very lucky.."Fish: "Wtf u dont know what I had"Observer: "You had 74off"Fish:"I thought I mucked!?"

[Petoria 0]

You know you're playing a fish when he says......"How do you spell poker?"

[Petoria 0]

Just saw this one....."I usually hate coin flips....now I had a good feeling"followed by "a woman knows..I play by my gut feeling most of the time"

[Balloon guy 158]

Early in a 4/8 session a new guy to the table limps along with 5 others, me included with Ace 9 Flop Q J 10 1st guy bets, new guy raises, all call. Turn Q 1st guy checks, new guy bets, all callRiver 8 Giving me nuts1st guy bets, new guy starts whining about how we are all a bunch of fish and chase everything and turns his cards over to show a king 9 osThen he demands: " I want to see everyone's hand after this"I raise, all fold 1st guy calls with ace 10 (Which I thought was impressive that he didn't raise with ace high flush)Fish starts moaning about how he had us all beat on the flop and we should have all folded, but we were a bunch of fish for chasing. He used the word fish so often I thought he might be a FCPer who reads these posts, so I am posting this to let him know that he sucks at poker.

[looshle 6]

Early in a 4/8 session a new guy to the table limps along with 5 others, me included with Ace 9 Flop Q J 10 1st guy bets, new guy raises, all call. Turn Q 1st guy checks, new guy bets, all callRiver 8 Giving me nuts1st guy bets, new guy starts whining about how we are all a bunch of fish and chase everything and turns his cards over to show a king 9 osThen he demands: " I want to see everyone's hand after this"I raise, all fold 1st guy calls with ace 10 (Which I thought was impressive that he didn't raise with ace high flush)Fish starts moaning about how he had us all beat on the flop and we should have all folded, but we were a bunch of fish for chasing. He used the word fish so often I thought he might be a FCPer who reads these posts, so I am posting this to let him know that he sucks at poker.

AKs is the nuts. FISH!