I Called In Sick Today

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

so fate it isn't even funny. you better already be there.

[Theraflu 1,035]

50 is this insane unrealistic fantasy for me. how quickly your fortunes turned.

I know. And I'm ignoring it! This can't be good!

[The Ocho 970]

Drinking this tonight, light IPAhttp://kneedeepbrewing.com/year-round-beers/hoptologist-dipa/apparently they have won some medals for it. 9%, but it was $8 for one 22.

[ShakeZuma 585]

I would love to squeeze some cards tonight but it's 50 minutes to Daytona. Damn you 5 pints of beer at dinner. You make me horny and make me want to play cards. Bartender had and ass and legs to die for. Cute as a button too.

well I had sex last night if it makes you feel any better.and on that note, anybody ever gotten blue balls while having sex? really don't know what happened. maybe we took too many breaks or something but DAMN, that was one of the most uncomfortable feelings I've ever had. had it one time before when I was like 17 but I don't remember it being that horrible. oh, also: my water line is busted again. yay.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I don't even know what blue balls feels like. I cums alls the time. And fast too. Unless drunk. Then it takes forever, but I'll take matters into my own hands. Kudos on the sex. Same crazy pants or are you on a hot streak?

[ShakeZuma 585]

same crazy one. why not you know. but yeah, it was weird. it made it too painful to keep going so I couldn't finish. not sure how that happened. guess the combo of drunk/condom was too much for me.but either way she was pretty impressed I think. so that's good. I guess.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Couple of weeks ago when I went back home, my friends and I were chilling by the pool, talking about old times, etc, and TGIFridays girl was there. She is still one of my best friends, and the subject of cocks came up, oddly enough. My other buddy mentioned some guy she tried to hook up with in Austin, TX when they were there. TGIFridays girl is never one to back down from a challenge. Well apparently, this guy was very ho hum about hooking up with her and she kept pushing and he finally said "you won't be able to handle it." Well now it was on. Off they go to the room and she said that he pulled out a dong that was at least the size of two cans of coke stacked on top of each other. She tried and as it turned out, he was right. It didn't happen. Now, we all would love to have that thing as a show piece, but would it actually be a curse? Personally, I'd just troll the strip clubs looking for size queens. Or maybe do porn. But what if you have some moral beliefs that didn't allow that. What would you do? You have a weapon of ass destruction and no one to destroy. Just a long winded survey of who would want to be like an Olympic rower

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

same crazy one. why not you know. but yeah, it was weird. it made it too painful to keep going so I couldn't finish. not sure how that happened. guess the combo of drunk/condom was too much for me.but either way she was pretty impressed I think. so that's good. I guess.

Impressed by your longevity? I woulda started jerkin it and made it a dirty game. Have her get on all fours facing the other way, have her twiddle her box and you do your thing behind her and then drop the load right on her b-hole. Who knows how to work your equipment better than you? And yes, you should be banging her often. But I would also be clear about the fact that you love that its a casual sex deal. Make suggestions about bringing other girls in, group sex, whatever. Marginalize the one on one aspect of it so she doesn't think it's a boyfriend/girlfriend think. Let her know it's all about the dirty sex. Fake it if you have to. You never know, you may get a 3way out of it accidentally

[ShakeZuma 585]

What would you do? You have a weapon of ass destruction and no one to destroy.

that would be horrible. I mean yeah, most girls just wouldn't be able to take it so you'd probably have a lot of instances of blue balls since you'd get there but wouldn't be able to finish off. I'm fine with my ridiculously average penile unit. also, did you mean "ass destruction" or was that just an absolutely perfect typo?

[ShakeZuma 585]

oh, and isn't suited on his way to the wedding thing now? I really hope he gets laid and it goes well. that would be nice for him.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

. also, did you mean "ass destruction" or was that just an absolutely perfect typo?

Come on, give me some credit here

oh, and isn't suited on his way to the wedding thing now? I really hope he gets laid and it goes well. that would be nice for him.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAkidding, I'm sure he'll own it. I mean, it's a wedding, presumably an open bar and he doesn't really drink. A girl that wants to sex him, he doesn't do that much either. Dancing. Every 24 year old guy that constantly wears cargo shirts and hoodies can dance like the wind. And he cant drive stick What could go wrong?

[ShakeZuma 585]

oh I'm sure he'll be fine.god damn it I've got to cut grass and fix my water line today and I don't want to do shit. I'm tired and a little hungover and damn it, that's like 10 - 12 hours of manual labor. god damn it I hate having to take care of a house so, so much.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

The government job is asking for some form as part of my app, due Thursday. I cannot believe how fast they are moving on this one. Pretty much everything I did at work is going to break when I leave. I swear it is not my fault. The sheets all reference cells in standard report files and the coders keep arbitrarily changing them. Absurd. I am doing this one to save 30 minutes/day for another department's VP to try to get some attention. Sad to think it will be for naught.

[ShakeZuma 585]

that's cooloh hey guys I figured it out though: gonna be a lazy piece of shit here for a little while then gonna go to walmart later to see if they have any plumbing supplies. whilst there I'll get a bunch of beer and put it on ice so I can mow grass and get drunk later in the afternoon. gonna make an evening of it! oh and when I went to turn off my water at the meter there was of course a black widow in there. bitch built a damn hilton of a web in there too.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I live in a house I do not maintain, for free

[Theraflu 1,035]

I'm heading to a beer tasting at 1 at a package store. Currently enjoying opening day of the Premier League.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

The government job is asking for some form as part of my app, due Thursday. I cannot believe how fast they are moving on this one. Pretty much everything I did at work is going to break when I leave. I swear it is not my fault. The sheets all reference cells in standard report files and the coders keep arbitrarily changing them. Absurd. I am doing this one to save 30 minutes/day for another department's VP to try to get some attention. Sad to think it will be for naught.

You seem to have gotten more odd. Lately, you don't actually converse. You come in, type what you've got to type and exit stage right. Not saying its bad, just odd. Of course, this was my initial thought, then two posts later you responded to a post. Not sure I have a point here. I just did a total kitchen cleaning. Well, I did a lot (wiped down every cabinet, door and surface in the entire kitchen) but if I wanted, I'm sure I coulda been there for another 2 hours, emptying the pantry, the fridge, etc. but screw that. Swept, mopped the living room as well. I woulda made a good wife

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I just feel like we are going through the motions a lot around here. The same jokes over and over. So I bring whatever random shit that's on my mind and hope it drives things in a different direction. Granted the excel thing is an old joke but actually happens to be true this time. I don't mean to take shots at anyone because I know I haven't brought much to the table. I just read or play games when I am not at work which makes for no interesting possibilities.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Oh Stratty, it's just me. I rarely understand anything you post anymore. It's not you, it's me. And I don't think we try to recycle jokes, I'd say most of us now are basically old friends that gab about the mundane. We've known each other, for the most part, 6 years. Stories to shock and awe are a thing of the past. Now, i just try to turn a phrase to make someone giggle. I usually laugh at least twice on every catchup

[ShakeZuma 585]

7. 7 years.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

Jesus ****.

[Napa_Don 688]

How's the CFA studying going, Strat? Did you even get the materials?

[Essay21 2,385]

I couldn't be more of a loser.

[brvheart 1,752]

You clearly missed the perverted point of that post

I chuckled at this.Ron: always bringin' it back to what matters.

i just tried to drive a stick. her car is a stick and she's driving tomorrow. in case of emergency she wanted me to have learned before. lets just say it didn't go to well. i was like a retard humping a door knob. made me feel like a real munson.

You are not a man.

well I had sex last night if it makes you feel any better.and on that note, anybody ever gotten blue balls while having sex? really don't know what happened. maybe we took too many breaks or something but DAMN, that was one of the most uncomfortable feelings I've ever had. had it one time before when I was like 17 but I don't remember it being that horrible.oh, also: my water line is busted again. yay.

I was SO confused by this post. For whatever reason I thought this was JJJ, (same color av?) and I was like, "weird. JJJ doesn't usually talk about his personal life. Weird. I don't remember JJJ's water line ever being a problem." When I realized my mistake it ALL made sense.

Impressed by your longevity? I woulda started jerkin it and made it a dirty game. Have her get on all fours facing the other way, have her twiddle her box and you do your thing behind her and then drop the load right on her b-hole. Who knows how to work your equipment better than you? And yes, you should be banging her often. But I would also be clear about the fact that you love that its a casual sex deal. Make suggestions about bringing other girls in, group sex, whatever. Marginalize the one on one aspect of it so she doesn't think it's a boyfriend/girlfriend think. Let her know it's all about the dirty sex. Fake it if you have to. You never know, you may get a 3way out of it accidentally

Gross.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I got all the CFA materials but haven't spent the most time with them.