I Called In Sick Today

[mk 11]

I would never do a porn for less than like, oh, ten million. unless of course it's with like natalie portman or something and she's guaranteed to get pregnant. then sure, why the hell not.

this is correct

[Randy Reed 0]

Is the fantasy draft this friday night or the next?What's everyone doing for Labor day?Why am I wondering if Wang has been talking to the indian whore?Why am I wishing for some more frequent beans posts?Why did I have to find the Hard Knocks thread myself?Why am thinking that I'd be thrilled if anyone even asked me to do porn?why oh why oh why?

[Tactical Bear 3]

So, we made some changes to our family room:I feel bad for Little TV. He's a 42 incher, but I feel like he might be intimidated by The Hammer.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

So, we made some changes to our family room:

you added a white dude?

[Tactical Bear 3]

you added a white dude?

In the lower lefthand corner of the second picture, our third roommate, Tempurpedic Bear, is barely (sorry, I am too lazy to look for a synonym) visible. He is wearing a pink tie, and is awesome.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

I am taking suggestions on silly ways to answer the questions from the judge/lawyers.

How about you show them some goddamn respect. You fucking hippies make me sick.

[gobears 0]

Is the fantasy draft this friday night or the next?What's everyone doing for Labor day?Why am I wondering if Wang has been talking to the indian whore?Why am I wishing for some more frequent beans posts?Why did I have to find the Hard Knocks thread myself?Why am thinking that I'd be thrilled if anyone even asked me to do porn?why oh why oh why?

1. Draft is this Friday night (obviously Brv knows we're a bunch of losers and have nothing better to do on the Friday before Labor Day weekend)2. Another FB draft on Saturday although this one will be in person, play some WCOOP on Sunday, BBQ Monday3. Yes - where's the follow up.4. Yes5. Hard Knocks thread? Now I'll have to go look6. Nah, it'd be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway

[vbnautilus 48]

How about you show them some goddamn respect. You fucking hippies make me sick.

still haven't even gotten the chance. Been sitting in this room for 5 hours. I did learn a couple things from the orientation video, though. California is apparently the "greatest state in the union". Also, some jurors have such a good time that they stay in touch afterwards! As if I'm going to talk to someone.Also, I think it takes a lot of brvry to go back to school later in life.

[Tactical Bear 3]

3. Yes - where's the follow up.

I am playing hard-to-get, which is kind of stupid when Havarti is, you know, kind of a whore. I'm also playing: lazy as fuck. I was going to hang out with her on Saturday, but I'm worried my friends will still be hanging out watching Foosball on BigTV and LittleTV, even when she gets out at 1030. They will be merciless, especially since some of them know her. We'll play it by ear. I'd rather not have to do the whole BW3's thing, again. Good call Randy/Andre. I planned on calling her tonight, but I would have forgotten if you hadn't reminded me

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

As if I'm going to talk to someone.

clearly these people are deranged. stay vigilant, vb, and for gods sake DONT DROP THE SOAP.

[Sal Paradise 57]

clearly these people are deranged. stay vigilant, vb, and for gods sake DONT DROP THE SOAP.

you watch fear and loathing recently or something?

[vbnautilus 48]

They let me go. I am a free man. My duty is complete. There was one person in there who made me feel like the whole thing was a movie cast rather than a real sampling of people. It was a nun. Like, a real old-fashioned one with the big square habit thing.

[Sal Paradise 57]

how does one get addicted to big squares?

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

you watch fear and loathing recently or something?

actually yes. i watched the bathtub scene today on my i touch, in between classes.

[Sickinfo2 291]

Question for the group:Would you actually be interested in doing porn? So really, I'm not against doing it, I'm just constrained by shame.

I wouldnt do it for free.... So I guess you could count me out....as a performer, anywayI would be a great director, thoughMy first order of business would be finding a stunt man to replace wang for the money shot....Otherwise it would be a fifteen volume DVD set for his scene alone

My friends older brother did gay porn one summer. He rationalized it by saying "I made like 40k and got to hang out in cali for three weeks and just bang bitches the whole time." Yeah, maybe, but you BANGED DUDES!

The last part absolutely killed me....

Why am I wishing for some more frequent beans posts?

Ive been very busy the last several days....Its the car season, to me anyway, so Ive been juggling that obsession with work, the wife and kid, and various projects around the houseJust got back from Corvettes at Carlisle and now my attention has turned to completing another car for the upcoming event in Eureka Springs starting October firstYou should requisition one from the lot and drive down for the weekend.... lots of nice scenery to bike around, drinking, autocross events, drinking, fishing, drinking, poker run, etcThis year most of the cash raised is going to a local cat house or something....Different meaning here in the Ozarks than in Nevada.... actual cats are the recipients

When did Mel Gibson start anchoring the news?Oh, and fire the electrician...

jurors

Ive received two notices to serve over the years.... both times I got a doctors note and got out of itI figure one of these days someone will question why a paraplegic would have chronic gout

[Nikki_N 17]

seriously, how terrible is #8?http://www.life.com/image/3135714/in-galle...paganda-posters

I've had too much wine so I'm pretty sure that's why I don't get it. It's the wine or the tacos. I blame the wine.

I like dirty talk, but she gets pretty damn abusive. Like, you know, he's doing his best to fuck your little asshole as hard as he can, lay off already.

I don't like it when girls get all commanding during sex. Cower and take it in the ass and cry. That's what I like.

The Beans catch phrase of the day...."Preachers prick in a calves ass"Usage example:(Earlier today at the local tire shop)Beans: "Can you guys order me another set of P275/35ZR18's?"Tire salesman: "Can do.... still goin with the Goodys?"Beans: "Well....probably not....what other brands can ya get?"Random shopper: "You havin trouble with the GoodYears?"Beans: "Not really, but they lose their grip pretty quick"TS: "The Nitto Invos are a much softer compound but arent run flats"Beans: "Get me a set in and Ill try em.... those run flats are harder than a preachers prick in a calves ass"RS: "....."

Yep. You're awesome. Does Mrs. Icewater appreciate your antics?

Yeah, I know....Thats all Ive got, though. My bat is shaped like a tuning fork these days....Speaking of baseball, did I ever tell the one about Shane and I spending several days modifying and experimenting with an aluminum bat for youth baseball cheating purposes?I got the idea one evening while watching the kid in the stands and noting the tone of the "ping" it made upon contact with the ball. The next morning Shane staggered into the shop and found me welding a threaded bung into the end of the barrel for a metal valve stem from a tire. Over the next few hours we pressurized it with various gasses up to a few hundred pounds of pressure and compared distances achieved with each. Our main problem was hitting the damn ballIt was an interesting experiment.... we gave up when visions of exploding aluminum bats and severed arm visions appearedIn case anyone is curious, which I highly doubt..... helium seemed to work the best but it was probably more physiological than anything. Expanding foam did assist but the "ring" was more of a "thud" and raised more than one umpires eyebrow. Hiding the valve stem poking from the end was the last nail in the coffin for the venture Thanks for the sympathetic words...I may start taking steroids drinking even more beer

Wow. How do these shenanigans occur to you? I'm really interested.

Cross posted for sheer awesomeness.

That is one awesome bed accessory.

Sock puppetMimePig latin

All good ideas.

jeopardy styleRTM stream of consciousness style (good luck)

I like these too, but Pig Latin is my favorite.

I loved Jury Duty. It was great. I got picked, because I'm awesome.It was a case against an insurance company and one guy that responded to the lawyers questions by saying that all insurance companies are crooked and were out to "fuck the every man". I pretty sure even the judge was laughing.He didn't get chosen.

Nice.

Personal anecdote: I re-enrolled at Iowa State today and will be taking classes with Napa in the Spring. (College kids look way younger than they did 15 years ago)I get older and they stay the saaaame age... amirite? Sally? Wang? AMIRITE!? ... *crickets*

I feel old when I see all the elementary ed majors that are like 19. My physics lab partner was 19. I kinda loved her. She was such an adorable geeky girl. I'm pretty sure she was straight, though.

[Sickinfo2 291]

Cower and take it in the ass and cry. That's what I like. Yep. You're awesome. Does Mrs. Icewater appreciate your antics? Wow. How do these shenanigans occur to you? I'm really interested.

Try swallowing a few packages of corn nuts without chewing them next time.... you know what they say, the couple that cries together...She must to some degree or another.... we spent our twentieth wedding anniversary at a car show and closed down a brew pub after thatShe does laugh quite a bit.... at me, not with me Its in my blood to pursue and involve myself with the outrageous, and probably will be until the day the iron bars slams closedI almost used handcuffs there but they dont count, right?

[Nikki_N 17]

Try swallowing a few packages of corn nuts without chewing them next time.... you know what they say, the couple that cries together...She must to some degree or another.... we spent our twentieth wedding anniversary at a car show and closed down a brew pub after thatShe does laugh quite a bit.... at me, not with me Its in my blood to pursue and involve myself with the outrageous, and probably will be until the day the iron bars slams closedI almost used handcuffs there but they dont count, right?

Handcuffs during sex? They only count if you're being flogged or beaten or flogging or beating the handcuffed party. So were you or the Mrs. the handcuffed party? Is that too personal?Mrs. Icewater must be pretty special, btw. I'm kind of in awe of her. She has to be pretty damn cool.

[Sickinfo2 291]

Handcuffs during sex?So were you or the Mrs. the handcuffed party? Is that too personal?

No, local authority handcuffs...Ive been cuffed twice in life so farOnce Shane and I brewed up some trouble at a bowling alley.... the cops cuffed us up and stuck us in the back of a police car while they interviewed eyewitnessesShane was underage at the time and almost as drunk as I wasWhile sitting there he decided to have a smoke, so he pulled his arms under his ass and pulled his feet through, reached in his pocket and pulled out a box of Reds and a lighter. The cops were pretty pissed when they returned. The next time he was cuffed they put them thru a belt loop to prevent a repeat performanceThey let me go but charged him with minor in possession...I almost got cuffed again when I showed up to bail him out and the same officer asked me how I got down there without drivingThe next cuffing came a few years down the road at a strip bar. I was completely innocent then, too....Trust me, if Mrs. Icewater were to ever let me cuff her to the bed, my next order of business would be a few gallons of diesel and a match

[speedz99 145]

Jesus Fucking Christ, it's raining strippers in my life this summer. First I live with one, then the weekend in Montreal, now this...I went to get a beer with a girl from my anatomy lab group after school, and our conversation took some funny turns. Among other things, I learned that she's in an open relationship, is bisexual, and used to be a stripper when she was in college at U of Arizona (yeah, she's attractive). It was decided that we'll go to a strip club either after our first exam next tuesday, or sometime soon after that. Her words, "It would be a huge turn on for me to watch you get a lap dance and have you watch me get one. My fiance says he doesn't like strip clubs, and I've been dying to go for about a year now." We decided that it might be a good idea to have some of my friends come along, since that's a bit over the line for a guy in a non-open relationship unless it's a group outing. I'll keep you updated...at this point there seems to be about a 50% chance of it actually happening, which isn't so bad when you think about it. She's really quite open about her sexuality after half a beer, even though she's typically fairly quiet. I forgot to get her stage name, I'll ask her tomorrow in class. That's the name I'll use for her here.

there are classes at KU that have an attendance policy of roughly "you lose a letter grade for any classes missed after your second absence." that actually led to me getting a D in my composition 101 class. hopefully someone will take one for the team and die of the flu because they didn't want to miss class... become a martyr for the anti-attendance policy crowd.

I just got an email saying that if we have flu symptoms we're to stay home from class until 24 hours after the fever breaks. No questions asked, no note from a doctor needed, and all the professors will work with us to help catch us up.Then again, they can trust us, as opposed to the typical KU undergrad. LIKE YOU.

for speedz: Girl # 876

That's a great, great body...though the beef curtains are looking like they might be a bit ripe. I'm afraid she's hiding the fact that they hang below her knees.

Personal anecdote: I re-enrolled at Iowa State today and will be taking classes with Napa in the Spring. (College kids look way younger than they did 15 years ago)

Are you guys planning some kind of trippy Vice Versa thing?

let's go play some foosball

I'm dominating the foosball/pool circuit at school. 9-0.They may get better grades than me, but I can beat them at meaningless bar games.

My friends older brother did gay porn one summer. He rationalized it by saying "I made like 40k and got to hang out in cali for three weeks and just bang bitches the whole time." Yeah, maybe, but you BANGED DUDES! Needless to say, somebody found the website and the pics/vids made it around our high school and I'm assuming most of the community since it's such a small town.

Your friend's older brother is gay.

This guy reminds me of someone...it may take a while, but I'll figure out who.

There was one person in there who made me feel like the whole thing was a movie cast rather than a real sampling of people. It was a nun. Like, a real old-fashioned one with the big square habit thing.

Was she over 70?

I don't like it when girls get all commanding during sex. Cower and take it in the ass and cry. That's what I like.

So is that what you do or just what you like other girls to do for your viewing pleasure? Also, see the top of this post, and please comment if possible.

[speedz99 145]

Got it.

[strategy 4]

I just got an email saying that if we have flu symptoms we're to stay home from class until 24 hours after the fever breaks. No questions asked, no note from a doctor needed, and all the professors will work with us to help catch us up.Then again, they can trust us, as opposed to the typical KU undergrad. LIKE YOU.

KU sent out the same stuff, basically. there's NO chance any of the crotchety professors abide by that, though.http://digg.com/comics_animation/xkcd_A_We...34178#c27834178how quickly that guy is destroyed. reminds me of a story my roommate two years ago told me. on move-in day, girls asked him to help set up their stereo system and then said "where are all the hot guys" within obvious earshot. he had enough of a spine not to be mr. tech support guy for his floor, though.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Jesus Fucking Christ, it's raining strippers in my life this summer. First I live with one, then the weekend in Montreal, now this...I went to get a beer with a girl from my anatomy lab group after school, and our conversation took some funny turns. Among other things, I learned that she's in an open relationship, is bisexual, and used to be a stripper when she was in college at U of Arizona (yeah, she's attractive). It was decided that we'll go to a strip club either after our first exam next tuesday, or sometime soon after that. Her words, "It would be a huge turn on for me to watch you get a lap dance and have you watch me get one. My fiance says he doesn't like strip clubs, and I've been dying to go for about a year now." We decided that it might be a good idea to have some of my friends come along, since that's a bit over the line for a guy in a non-open relationship unless it's a group outing. I'll keep you updated...at this point there seems to be about a 50% chance of it actually happening, which isn't so bad when you think about it. She's really quite open about her sexuality after half a beer, even though she's typically fairly quiet. I forgot to get her stage name, I'll ask her tomorrow in class. That's the name I'll use for her here.

ahhhh college

[Nikki_N 17]

Trust me, if Mrs. Icewater were to ever let me cuff her to the bed, my next order of business would be a few gallons of diesel and a match

Aww... that makes me sad. Damn. I hope that's all talk and you're really desperately in love with her.

Jesus Fucking Christ, it's raining strippers in my life this summer. First I live with one, then the weekend in Montreal, now this...I went to get a beer with a girl from my anatomy lab group after school, and our conversation took some funny turns. Among other things, I learned that she's in an open relationship, is bisexual, and used to be a stripper when she was in college at U of Arizona (yeah, she's attractive). It was decided that we'll go to a strip club either after our first exam next tuesday, or sometime soon after that. Her words, "It would be a huge turn on for me to watch you get a lap dance and have you watch me get one. My fiance says he doesn't like strip clubs, and I've been dying to go for about a year now." We decided that it might be a good idea to have some of my friends come along, since that's a bit over the line for a guy in a non-open relationship unless it's a group outing. I'll keep you updated...at this point there seems to be about a 50% chance of it actually happening, which isn't so bad when you think about it. She's really quite open about her sexuality after half a beer, even though she's typically fairly quiet. I forgot to get her stage name, I'll ask her tomorrow in class. That's the name I'll use for her here.I just got an email saying that if we have flu symptoms we're to stay home from class until 24 hours after the fever breaks. No questions asked, no note from a doctor needed, and all the professors will work with us to help catch us up.Then again, they can trust us, as opposed to the typical KU undergrad. LIKE YOU.That's a great, great body...though the beef curtains are looking like they might be a bit ripe. I'm afraid she's hiding the fact that they hang below her knees.Are you guys planning some kind of trippy Vice Versa thing?I'm dominating the foosball/pool circuit at school. 9-0.They may get better grades than me, but I can beat them at meaningless bar games.Your friend's older brother is gay.This guy reminds me of someone...it may take a while, but I'll figure out who.Was she over 70?So is that what you do or just what you like other girls to do for your viewing pleasure? Also, see the top of this post, and please comment if possible.

I like to view and to be the subject of the dominating. I went to a bondage club in SF in July and had a blast. I had lovely bruises to take home as souvenirs and I got to experience shibari bondage for the second time. Love it.As for the top...Go for it and nail this open relationship girl. Seriously. Make it happen. Girls that are cool with no strings attached open relationship sex are few and far between. Get yours. Because you are a sickie, you'll likely blow it. I want you to not blow it. Don't disappoint me.

[speedz99 145]

Aww... that makes me sad. Damn. I hope that's all talk and you're really desperately in love with her.

He just kids so we don't know how pathetically head over heels he still is over her.

I like to view and to be the subject of the dominating. I went to a bondage club in SF in July and had a blast. I had lovely bruises to take home as souvenirs and I got to experience shibari bondage for the second time. Love it.

Go on...

As for the top...Go for it and nail this open relationship girl. Seriously. Make it happen. Girls that are cool with no strings attached open relationship sex are few and far between. Get yours. Because you are a sickie, you'll likely blow it. I want you to not blow it. Don't disappoint me.

At the moment it's not an option because I'm in a relationship. But, you know, I don't know if I'd do it at the moment even if given the chance...and she was very clear about the fact that she's into the idea (even though in her 5 year relationship she's only been with one other person). We talked about the fact that classes and school in general will be much more interesting with some ongoing sexual tension in the background. Sleeping with her a few times (she apparently doesn't do long term things with other guys) might increase the tension, but more likely would kind of deflate it because there'd be nothing to look forward to. Maybe just before graduation.Edit: Ok, she never explicitly said that she'd be into the idea, just that she was attracted to me. No, I don't know why.