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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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they're all filthy - i love it. i keep expecting one to be an innocent candid pic where she's just sitting there with clothes on, but they never are. whores, the lot of 'em.
hahaha god
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so what do you do exactly? I figured you wouldn't be a trial lawyer, at least not yet I don't guess. then I started thinking, and wondered how many lawyers actually are trial lawyers, and then what the rest do. then I got confused. then I went to sleep.
My son worked for the State Prosecutor's office for two years and got to know all the local playersas far as judges, prosecutors and attorneys. He went on his own last Nov and has been doing welldefending lots of criminals, wills, etc. He does some work for a Liability firm as well. He skipped goingto the big time firms so he didn't have to work 80 hours a week and he's got a ton of court experience already.
Is it wrong to read Cooking Light on the toilet?
Yes it is. I stick with Bon Appetite.
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I almost feel bad for the girls that end up on these websites. then again, you know that a girl who allowed herself to be photographed like that is probably more likely to cheat.

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Grade inflation in pre-schools. It never ends.Now that I am working full time, I understand the "wooooooooo, it's Friday!!!!!!" concept much better. It's quiet in the office today (because our managing partner scored a HUGE victory in a major trial yesterday) so I may try to hide out in the lounge and watch some US Open coverage.It is also "jeans" day in the office. So that's good.
When I started working my new job about a year ago I decided to make an effort to raise my dress level a little bit; bought some new professional looking clothes and played the part for a little while. Even though no one really cares I figured I'd uphold my own standard. Over time I've gotten more and more lazy about it and have pretty much reverted to every day being jeans in the office day. Do people in other cities work full days on Friday? In L.A. the traffic starts at like 2pm on Friday.
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So I went shopping today. I went to a local discount store and purchased the following items:1 Ralph Lauren brand polo shirt. Black, with horizontal white stripes.1 pair Calvin Klein brand white linen pants2 Nike Dry-fit shirts. 1 leather wallet. 4 handkerchiefs2 Ralph Lauren dress shirts2 neckties Grand total: $172 This is not, however, a brag post. Upon checking out, I walked past the DISCOUNT BOOKS aisle, and saw this:IMAGE DELETEDI... have a better idea. If you saw it, don't tell.

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I wish I knew how to do stuff. And things too.My door doesn't close...the side above the knob is too high for the frame. I think I need to throw a shim (if that's the right word and/or thing) under the top hinge. Maybe I'll give it a shot. My mother scarred me for life when, in college, I was fixing things around our shitty frat house and building a booth for a charity carnival. I was telling her about it, including the power tools I was using, and what was her reaction? "Matthew, you're Jewish! You pay other people to do those things for you." It was right about then when I started truly loathing the culture I was born into.
Name her Juneau.
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If I'm going to wade through a sea of racks of random clothes, I'd rather go to Goodwill than TJ Maxx. It's really cheap and I can still find name brand stuff (I go to the Goodwills in the suburbs where the rich ladies give their stuff away).

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TJ MAXX motherfuckers. It's like a White Trash petting zoo.
back in august or september, I could have had a job at tj maxx instead of mcds.
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I'm confused. You chose McD's?
I had already started at mcds for a few weeks when tj maxx finally got in touch with me. mcdonalds = next door. tj maxx = 10 minute commute across town, new training and getting acquainted with coworkers. I think I made the right decision.
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so when will you be starting a law blog?
I'm excited to tell him he's a real mouthful.
Schwing! Hey, you know what doesn't hold up AT ALL? Wayne's World.
My son worked for the State Prosecutor's office for two years and got to know all the local playersas far as judges, prosecutors and attorneys. He went on his own last Nov and has been doing welldefending lots of criminals, wills, etc. He does some work for a Liability firm as well. He skipped goingto the big time firms so he didn't have to work 80 hours a week and he's got a ton of court experience already.
Yeah, I have two buddies working in federal defenders offices to get trial experience. Well, one of them wants to do it for the rest of his life. The other is finishing up soon and then headed to a clerkship for a federal judge, after which he'll go back to his original large firm that he worked for for a year, where he'll make bank defending companies for doing things like polluting our soil. I forget what the point of my story was supposed to be.
I almost feel bad for the girls that end up on these websites. then again, you know that a girl who allowed herself to be photographed like that is probably more likely to cheat.
So true. Sluts.
4 handkerchiefs
I don't...what?
Name her Juneau.
I will do no such thing. The frontrunner is now 'Cheeto(h)', with the parentheses being part of her legal name.
TJ MAXX motherfuckers. It's like a White Trash petting zoo.
Every TJ Maxx smells exactly the same...a mixture of baby, old lady, and homeless man.
My plan fell through. This is the picture I took.blackbaby.jpg
Can you tell us what the plan was? I suppose I could guess based on the picture name...
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Something in the Idiosyncrasies thread just made me remember a brief conversation from work.Coworker #1: Cheeto(h) loves greenies treats.Speedz: Don't give her too many.Coworker #1: But she's so tiny! She needs to gain weight.Speedz: I'm just saying, she's built small, I don't want you to make her a bowling ball before I bring her home in a few weeks.Coworker #2: You're the kind of guy that would divorce his wife for gaining 20 pounds.Speedz: 20 pounds?!?Coworker #1: ...Speedz: ...Coworker #2: ...Speedz: ...

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So true. Sluts.I don't...what?
I forget why I wanted to respond to the first comment. I think it had something to do with sluts.I dunno, I've never owned a handkerchief, or a kerchief of any kind. I wanted some. Might come in handy some day.
Something in the Idiosyncrasies thread just made me remember a brief conversation from work.Coworker #1: Cheeto(h) loves greenies treats.Speedz: Don't give her too many.Coworker #1: But she's so tiny! She needs to gain weight.Speedz: I'm just saying, she's built small, I don't want you to make her a bowling ball before I bring her home in a few weeks.Coworker #2: You're the kind of guy that would divorce his wife for gaining 20 pounds.Speedz: 20 pounds?!?Coworker #1: ...Speedz: ...Coworker #2: ...Speedz: ...
What you should have said in the last spot after all the pauses was:"I'm sorry, I mean: 'Wife?!?'" But, yeah, when puppets start putting on weight, Wang tends to bail. Ashley was up 3, maybe 5 pounds by the end there. Can't eat the same when you stop dancing, eh babe?
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I dunno, I've never owned a handkerchief, or a kerchief of any kind. I wanted some. Might come in handy some day.
One of my friends wears one of these instead of a real tie to all occasions...it was his grandfather's, and the guy can pull it off like nobody's business.il_430xN.25026656.jpg
What you should have said in the last spot after all the pauses was:"I'm sorry, I mean: 'Wife?!?'"
I'm not that snappy. The three of us all knew that I was appalled by the thought of 20 extra pounds on a woman. And neither of them is skinny. It's a good thing my charming personality (at work, anyway) makes it impossible to really hate me, otherwise they might have pounced.
But, yeah, when puppets start putting on weight, Wang tends to bail. Ashley was up 3, maybe 5 pounds by the end there. Can't eat the same when you stop dancing, eh babe?
I'm glad I'm not the only mostly good person who happens to like thin ladies. It's not my fault...I'm not a big dude, and I like to be larger than my woman.
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I still say go with gin rummy. then you can call her gin for short without Harry Potter shame. there. I've solved your problem. I'll expect a thank you and a picture of the cat collar with the name gin or gin rummy engraved in it. possibly your last name will also appear there.I can understand the kerchief for a hefty fella when they need to wipe the brow whilst teaching some class and/or giving a presentation. I would advise them to go with two chiefs instead of the one if they do the "wipe brow - blow nose - repeat later" move. sometimes they reverse the first two which makes for an immediate repulsion. wait. is the cat a cheetos puff or the crappy cheetos? I'm assuming since she's skinny she's the crappy cheetos. you know you like puffs.

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I still say go with gin rummy. then you can call her gin for short without Harry Potter shame. there. I've solved your problem. I'll expect a thank you and a picture of the cat collar with the name gin or gin rummy engraved in it. possibly your last name will also appear there.
I don't play gin rummy.
wait. is the cat a cheetos puff or the crappy cheetos? I'm assuming since she's skinny she's the crappy cheetos. you know you like puffs.
Crunchy, obviously. I hate the puffs.I wrote the above line without thinking of the fact that it fits with the rest of my posts from tonight.
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