I Called In Sick Today

[speedz99 145]

Shouldn't you consider throwing it? I mean, you don't care about her... and it would be a nice gesture for Billy AND a funny burn on Ashley.

Gold.Wang, can you have Ashley meet Jess? For me?

[Theraflu 1,035]

Shouldn't you consider throwing it? I mean, you don't care about her... and it would be a nice gesture for Billy AND a funny burn on Ashley.

Maybe I would like what Jesus would do.

[Tactical Bear 3]

I want to play on Billy's team, hook up the webcam.

Shouldn't you consider throwing it? I mean, you don't care about her... and it would be a nice gesture for Billy AND a funny burn on Ashley.

I am... very glad everyone came to the same conclusion I did. About halfway through the game, Billy was running his mouth and Ashley was looking furious. I shot Billy a glance, and I think he picked up my meaning. To Ashley's credit, she fulfilled her part of the bargain. We ended up going out to a local club, and I received "payback" in the form of her grinding with guys wearing Hollister shirts. I took one step onto the dancefloor, just LOOKED at another girl, and Ashley fell into line. She was killing it tonight. There were definitely some jealous guys. As sad as it is, I enjoyed that quite a bit.

Gold.Wang, can you have Ashley meet Jess? For me?

Ashley would murder her. I'd do it otherwise. Now Ashley meeting Maggie? That's all but assured.

[Tactical Bear 3]

I am going to go have some sex now. I think. She's kinda drunk, which means if she doesn't pass out it's a sure thing. Is it weird that I brewed a pot of coffee?

[timwakefield 68]

The stereotype about black people really really really fucking liking fried chicken is quite often deadly accurate. My favorite part is the 2 white ladies at the end laughing at the silly black folk. I mean how do they not get a black reporter in on that story to make it seem less racist?EDIT: I'm retarded and didn't realize that was a week old. Unrelatedlook at this fucking hipster

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

look at this fucking hipster

no wonder beans won't post a picture of himself. can the chick from the love connection appear on Guess Her Muff next?edit: the LATEST love connection...

[brvheart 1,752]

Maybe I would like what Jesus would do.

I didn't say I would throw it... but it just made sense for Wang.

[Sal Paradise 57]

I am going to go have some sex now. I think. She's kinda drunk, which means if she doesn't pass out it's a sure thing. Is it weird that I brewed a pot of coffee?

how would that be weird? coffee is AWESOME. I'm drinking some RIGHT NOW.

look at this fucking hipster

well this is just so good.unfortunately though, I think it may cause me to commit suicide since no less than 2 times I said "ooh, I like that shirt." then I realized what I said and thought about chainsaws and bud light for a second.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I will do it when I graduate. The real move is to try to get hired in as Ron's boss. "Frankly, Christopher, I am tired of your attitude and your facial hair; one has to go."

This is an idea I can get behind. Especially if you call me Christopher.

my six pack of guinness 250 was $10.25 after tax. my butthole is still smarting.

for some reason, I was moderately stunned when I ordered a Miller Lite at a bar Thursday night, and she asked for $5. I mean, I guess it's not that much about average, but it was still shocking. Then again, it was in a bar called Blue Martini in Boca Raton. Sooooo

no seriously, right the fuck off.

Don't worry Sal, I'll give him a smack for you when I meet him for drinks on Monday, ON SOUTH BEACH, IN MIAMI, IN FLORIDA.

[Tactical Bear 3]

God Dammit. I made it all of a ****ing week before I got hit with the "so, are we together?" question. The last time she asked this question was like 5 years ago, and I had just gotten out of a long relationship, so I gave this answer:"Hey, I really like you, but I want to take this slow. I am going to try to make this work, but I don't want to make some kind of kneejerk-decision that one or both of us will regret. Let's just keep doing what we're doing, and it'll work out. Just give me some time, okay?"Within 48 hours she was getting bombed by my next-door neighbor because she thought I was getting back together with my exgirlfriend. This time my answer was something like: "You're cuter than Deanna Troi and stronger than Worf." I hope to avoid any further discussion before I have to leave for work. The plan is to wait until she gets out of the shower, then go smoke a 5-7 minute cigarette, then make breakfast while she dries off, then make sure Billy isn't still too drunk to drive home, then take a shower, then show up to work probably 30 minutes early for no reason. I'll probably make my dealers clean chips or something, and just get that set up.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

dodge the question better"are we together?""no silly, you're at your house, I'm at mine. We're on the phone. If I'm going to have to explain simple things like this to you, I don't think we're gonna make it."Just keep doing that, she'll get frustrated, you'll eventually change the subject with something like "When am I going to see you again, preferably naked?"

[LadyGhey 0]

dodge the question better"are we together?""no silly, you're at your house, I'm at mine. We're on the phone. If I'm going to have to explain simple things like this to you, I don't think we're gonna make it."Just keep doing that, she'll get frustrated, you'll eventually change the subject with something like "When am I going to see you again, preferably naked?"

I don't think that line works as well when you're in the same room talking face to face, though.

[strategy 4]

I don't think that line works as well when you're in the same room talking face to face, though.

oh, I've found it works quite well

[Tactical Bear 3]

oh, I've found it works quite well

Mojo used that line a few times before you finally locked her down, eh?Chris:I am usually very good at dodging the question, and I did manage to change the subject with my Star Trek references, but this girl is intelligent (remember: she's smarter than me) and dogged in her pursuits of... whatever. It's going to come up until I stop filibustering and give her an up-or-down vote.

[DMBroller 0]

and I did manage to change the subject with my Star Trek references, but this girl is intelligent (remember: she's smarter than me)

Maybe Dr. Who references then?

[Tactical Bear 3]

Maybe Dr. Who references then?

I don't know who this guy is, but: I like him. You know, apart from his Dave Matthews inspired handle.

[DMBroller 0]

Look me up, I was around a couple years ago...just getting back into the swing.

apart from his Dave Matthews inspired handle.

I was marginally gayer a few years ago when I was choosing screen names. Don't worry, I'm cooler and straighter now. You can like me guilt-free.

[hank213 1,823]

Look me up, I was around a couple years ago...just getting back into the swing. I was marginally gayer a few years ago when I was choosing screen names. Don't worry, I'm cooler and straighter now. You can like me guilt-free.

Too bad. You were showing such potential.

[jeff_536 3]

Mojo used that line a few times before you finally locked her down, eh?Chris:I am usually very good at dodging the question, and I did manage to change the subject with my Star Trek references, but this girl is intelligent (remember: she's smarter than me) and dogged in her pursuits of... whatever. It's going to come up until I stop filibustering and give her an up-or-down vote.

116?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I don't think that line works as well when you're in the same room talking face to face, though.

ahh, didn't read it all the way through. Thought it was on the phone. In that case:"We're together right now, aren't we?

Mojo used that line a few times before you finally locked her down, eh?Chris:I am usually very good at dodging the question, and I did manage to change the subject with my Star Trek references, but this girl is intelligent (remember: she's smarter than me) and dogged in her pursuits of... whatever. It's going to come up until I stop filibustering and give her an up-or-down vote.

yeah, but she's a woman, so, by nature, she's irrational. That's a lot of commas, but I'm ok with them and their placement.I had a busy morning. Went to the new Dick's Sporting Goods and priced out boxing gloves, mitts, hand wraps and heavy bags for the 30th time, but still can't pull the trigger because I don't have anyone that would be that into doing that stuff with me, and I know no one with any boxing experience that could train me in the correct way of training like that. Actually, that's not true, I do know a guy, but have no urge to hit him up. Then, I hit the Super Target, bought my soda, a sixer of El Presidente beer. Can't pull the trigger on Sierra Nevada because all they have is Pale Ale, and the only other pale ale I drank was a "Dave's Pale Ale" and I just didn't dig the taste.Then, I spent $10 doing a car wash, the kind where you do all the labor with the scrub brush and high pressure nozzle. It tired me out. Back felt ok so that makes me feel better. Back to the gym soon. Then, I picked up some Black Magic tire shine and wet those tires up. Yay.

[DMBroller 0]

Too bad. You were showing such potential.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not saying I can't gay it up again. I've only been back a day.

[speedz99 145]

As sad as it is, I enjoyed that quite a bit.

Is it weird that I brewed a pot of coffee?

What you call "sad" and "weird", I find totally normal. What's sad is dead kittens. What's weird is a...I just spent 3 minutes trying to come up with something funny enough to offset the dead kittens. Didn't happen.edit: maybe that's what's weird

I am usually very good at dodging the question, and I did manage to change the subject with my Star Trek references, but this girl is intelligent (remember: she's smarter than me) and dogged in her pursuits of... whatever. It's going to come up until I stop filibustering and give her an up-or-down vote.

I hate you.

[LadyGrey 6]

ahh, didn't read it all the way through. Thought it was on the phone. In that case:"We're together right now, aren't we?

Ahh, touché.

[TommyGavin81 0]

Woah where am I? Miss you guys. I put in 100-115 hour weeks every week between work, school, hospital time and ride along time. I may try and make a triumphant return that nobody but Sal will care about when I'm done with everything school related in the middle of June. Update: The girl and I are together and happier than ever for the last 5 months. A lot got put out on the table. Everything was figured out. Things are good. Besides the never sleeping, drinking or generally being able to have a social life because of this soul-sucking endeavor called paramedic school.

[hank213 1,823]

Woah where am I? Miss you guys. I put in 100-115 hour weeks every week between work, school, hospital time and ride along time. I may try and make a triumphant return that nobody but Sal will care about when I'm done with everything school related in the middle of June. Update: The girl and I are together and happier than ever for the last 5 months. A lot got put out on the table. Everything was figured out. Things are good. Besides the never sleeping, drinking or generally being able to have a social life because of this soul-sucking endeavor called paramedic school.

That's all well and good but how's your CHEST?