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I Called In Sick Today


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My wife is generally the more fiscally conservative of the two of us. Not a big shopper, usually will talk herself out of buying stuff she doesn't really "néed" etc... However, lately, she's done a 180. Currently she wants a new chair for the outside patio, a new sofa (both of us don't much like the dual recliner sofa we bought just over a year ago), a set of 3 book shelves and a roomba ("robot" vacuum)....seems like there's something else I can't think of at the moment. Not sure if it's a spring thing or what but this is shaping up to be an expensive year.

 

Apple man....went yesterday to find a cover/keyboard for my IPad Pro because it's too hard to type on in landscape mode when doing emails or anything more than a sentence or so. I ended up buying apples Smart Keyboard because it was the lightest option and I liked the functionality of it. But $160?! Damn. Would have never bought it if I couldn't put it on the company card.

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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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My dad, my wife, and my in-laws all have somewhat high speaking volumes by default. Sometimes at night, my wife and I will be conversing in bed while the babies are sleeping (one not far away) and she gets excited on a topic. One time, I just touched her lightly on the arm to convey "You're speaking a little loudly." She got the message and was not happy. I mean, I know where it comes from. Her family just all speak at max volume over each other (it's often like a Sunny episode). She's actually probably the quietest among them.

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It's funny that you think we don't know what a Roomba is, tilty. :)

 

Well, I wasn't sure the young-ish bachelors among us would know.

 

My wife's family are all loud talkers too. Unbelievable how loud the house gets at holidays when everyone is together. I've had to tell my wife a couple times that I'm 2 feet away, you don't have to talk so loud. Didn't go over well but she rarely does it anymore.

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She might not be able to control the sound of her voice and laugh but she can certainly adjust the volume. There's no reason why I should be able to perfectly hear her personal conversations with earbuds in from where she sits. She's inconsiderate and deserves to be fired.

 

some people simply have a voice that carries. others speak loudly without even realizing it, sometimes due to hearing problems. so, as a fellow sufferer of vocal modulation imperceptibility syndrome due to waaaaay too many hours in front of speaker stacks, might I ask you cut the b some slack? unless she can hear just fine, in that case: f her in the a.

 

Shopping for a new comforter/duvet cover. Found a duvet cover I like but I'll be fvcked in the ass if I can find a comparably sized comforter for it to fit on.

 

why do guys like you and I know what a duvet is? is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word?

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I liked your post because I thought the duvet comment more than compensated for the first part.

 

I'll cut her some slack when she comes to me with a note from her ENT Doctor saying she's incapable of modulating her voice levels and then I'd tell her to at least limit her personal conversations to a reasonable 2 hours a day. She has distracted me from my creative process and will be the cause of my suicide or resignation.

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I liked your post because I thought the duvet comment more than compensated for the first part.

 

I'll cut her some slack when she comes to me with a note from her ENT Doctor saying she's incapable of modulating her voice levels and then I'd tell her to at least limit her personal conversations to a reasonable 2 hours a day. She has distracted me from my creative process and will be the cause of my suicide or resignation.

 

Anonymous tip to the company hotline about people having loud conversations in the common areas and it being distracting to the work environment. Not to mention you're hearing personal info you don't want to hear.

 

You have the perfect cover. Nobody will suspect it's the 26-7 year old. They'll think it was an old codger.

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We don't have a company hotline. But that's a solid suggestion.

 

 

Got a sick burn off in a meeting with the VP's today. The audit manager said something like "I'll have him put it in the budget",with the him being me, and my boss said someyhjng like "he has a name you know" and then he double downed on not referring to me by name.

 

The Senior VP next to me says "you're just going to take that from him?" And I tell him "it's ok, I'll just poop in his office later" and he chuckled.

 

And then later on he referred to me as "him" again and this time a few other VP's said something like "his name is Napa" and I said "it's ok. He has to sit there and look at my full head of hair" (he's bald). Got a raucous laugh from everybody and was told to bring some more zingers to the next meeting.

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That's the way a winner deals with passive aggressive dicks!

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We don't have a company hotline. But that's a solid suggestion.

 

 

Got a sick burn off in a meeting with the VP's today. The audit manager said something like "I'll have him put it in the budget",with the him being me, and my boss said someyhjng like "he has a name you know" and then he double downed on not referring to me by name.

 

The Senior VP next to me says "you're just going to take that from him?" And I tell him "it's ok, I'll just poop in his office later" and he chuckled.

 

And then later on he referred to me as "him" again and this time a few other VP's said something like "his name is Napa" and I said "it's ok. He has to sit there and look at my full head of hair" (he's bald). Got a raucous laugh from everybody and was told to bring some more zingers to the next meeting.

 

I'm picturing the next meeting like you as Jim Carrey from Liar Liar just zinging everyone, and then getting fired.

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My boss told me I should buy some "zinger" snack cakes for next meeting to hand out. I think that's a little much.

 

I also bought myself some brownie points when my boss asked how my dog was doing and a sr vp overheard and wanted to know more about him because he, too, has a young, large, cream colored golden that we swapped pictures of like proud parents.

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We don't have a company hotline. But that's a solid suggestion.

 

 

Got a sick burn off in a meeting with the VP's today. The audit manager said something like "I'll have him put it in the budget",with the him being me, and my boss said someyhjng like "he has a name you know" and then he double downed on not referring to me by name.

 

The Senior VP next to me says "you're just going to take that from him?" And I tell him "it's ok, I'll just poop in his office later" and he chuckled.

 

And then later on he referred to me as "him" again and this time a few other VP's said something like "his name is Napa" and I said "it's ok. He has to sit there and look at my full head of hair" (he's bald). Got a raucous laugh from everybody and was told to bring some more zingers to the next meeting.

 

normally i don't condone bald shaming, as i'll soon be bald, but this cue ball was asking for it. well done sir.

 

i met some guys from law school after work. hadn't seen two of them in years now. solid time.

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Drove a total of 6 1/2 hours today to visit one client in the middle of nowhere for 45 minutes. Not one of my favorite parts of the job.

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Saw a trash panda run across my patio and hang out in front of the culvert in the bottom of the hill for a solid four minutes. Had half a mind to let the pup out and let him have a run at xem. Xe was about 30 yards out. Could have picked xer off with my bow or a gun.

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BTW Strat, I loved the random Sam's club hot dog commercial. I wasn't expecting that.

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