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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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hey no man, thats great. I'm glad for you. I got promoted once. oh wait, NO I DIDN'T. FUCK YOU.
I tell ya what, why don't you send me your resume and I won't respond.
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SEEDS?!?!
I wish I could have been around when this happened so I could have followed it up appropriately.
Hey little story. Last Sunday evening I went down to the end of the street to a friends farmhouse.He has a garden and pond out back and some apple trees, etc. He told me I could come by anytime and pick some blackberries, apples whatever.
I wish I had a friend like that.
I hiked back to back part with my bucket in tow and to my surprise there was a half dozen high school aged chicks skinnydipping. They immediately started giggling and yelling for me to get out of there. I told them not to worry, I wasn't there to see some young girls run around naked. One of them asked me what I was doing though. I said, "Feeding the alligators".
Rules, dude. We have rules here.
Just found out I'm getting promoted. More pay, less work. It's the American Dream baby.--editSuck it Sal!
Err...what do you do? [kindergarten cop joke][office space joke]
that never stopped you before.
For some reason this was funnier when I at first thought Sal said it.
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Err...what do you do? [Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?]
I work for a company that processes automated payments for k-12 private schools, community colleges, and universities.
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it really is stupid, the amount of accounting stuff I'm learning at this job.also stupid: re-reading a book repeatedly for an insurance agent licensing exam I will never take, because their IT department is retarded and hasn't made a testing project deadline since about 1998 or so.they're having a salvage sale. employees bid on things that got destroyed and brought in by insureds. there's a macbook, iphone 3GS, and an imac that are all probably going to go for retarded sums of money.

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I work for a company that processes automated payments for k-12 private schools, community colleges, and universities.
I get the feeling you've spat out that line a few too many hundreds of times. Where's the feeling?
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I get the feeling you've spat out that line a few too many hundreds of times. Where's the feeling?
wow. that's a creepily accurate read.I don't mind saying, I'm a little freaked out right now.
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I make and sell soap.
Do you work for that soap company down on Paper Street?
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God, how on earth could you stand the apartment job dude? I'd lose my mind if somebody did something so outrageously stupid. Please tell me that you are charging that guy for the price of the exterminator etc?

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God, how on earth could you stand the apartment job dude? I'd lose my mind if somebody did something so outrageously stupid. Please tell me that you are charging that guy for the price of the exterminator etc?
It's really not so bad as long as you can consider those kinds of things funny as they happen (as opposed to annoying when they happen and then a funny story later on). Though I'm not positive Stevey always can.
it's because I'm so good looking.
No, I'm pretty sure that's not it.
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God, how on earth could you stand the apartment job dude? I'd lose my mind if somebody did something so outrageously stupid. Please tell me that you are charging that guy for the price of the exterminator etc?
It's really not so bad as long as you can consider those kinds of things funny as they happen (as opposed to annoying when they happen and then a funny story later on). Though I'm not positive Stevey always can.
I would guess my boss will be sending him the bill after he stops laughing. The only annoying part was the fear that we had a bed bug issue and the fact that this idiot was in the office the day before acting like we put them in his bed. Other than that, it's hilarious and that was my reason for posting it.
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WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!Done with the Bar exam. What a ****ing brutal experience. Now I have a few days off before I return to work thank god.Exam was eh. I had to work this summer which was an enormous disadvantage (none of my friends had to....not one). However, I crushed the essay section so hopefully that will be enough to pass.Did I miss anything good?

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WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!Done with the Bar exam. What a ****ing brutal experience. Now I have a few days off before I return to work thank god.Exam was eh. I had to work this summer which was an enormous disadvantage (none of my friends had to....not one). However, I crushed the essay section so hopefully that will be enough to pass.Did I miss anything good?
yeah, question 8. you're fucked.
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