Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today

turd ferguson

By turd ferguson,
in General

 Share Followers 7

Recommended Posts

loogie

loogie 115

Posted
Posted
Brv,If you are at work and are wondering why I am not there, this is why. I took some sleeping pills again last night an in attempt to sleep more than 5 hours, and I did, right through my alarm clock and didn't wake up until ~10ish. And now, as I was going to leave my truck has a flat tire and I can't find a tire iron, so I'm going to have to look around for one, not sure when (if) I'll be in. If I'm not in by 12:30, I'm probably not going to be coming in but I'll be sure to come in tomorrow to do the change buys/sales tracking/finish my spreadsheet. I'm having an awesome week.Also, if you're not working, how could I forward this message to your wife as I don't have any numbers to call.
youre-fired.jpg
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 268k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19414

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

BigDMcGee

and after 3 days, he is risen!

David_Sklansky

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

AmScray

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

mk

mk 11

Posted
Posted

doubt this is realDealt to mk [7s 7h]deuces321: folds qbitz1: folds mk: raises 375 to 625angelthorne: folds aladinsane67: folds Oups777: folds BertBluffer: folds oven61: calls 375*** FLOP *** [Qs 3s Ks]oven61: bets 250mk: calls 250*** TURN *** [Qs 3s Ks] [5c]oven61: bets 250mk: raises 1025 to 1275oven61: calls 1025*** RIVER *** [Qs 3s Ks 5c] [Td]oven61: checks mk: bets 2725oven61: calls 2725*** SHOW DOWN ***mk: shows [7s 7h] (a pair of Sevens)oven61: shows [Qc 2c] (a pair of Queens)oven61 collected 10075 from potmk said, "WHAT"

Link to post
Share on other sites
hank213

hank213 1,823

Posted
Posted
looks like that belongs in the official firearms thread to me
How am I supposed to use a youtube video for target practice?
Link to post
Share on other sites
Piddle Duck

Piddle Duck 0

Posted
Posted

Well I gotta tell this apartment story...So I came in this Monday and my coworker meets me at the door and tells me we have biiiiiig problems.The guy in A9 called angry that morning stating he had....bed bugs.Now bed bugs are bad and you never want to be a apartment complex with bed bug issues. If they can't find the source then it could result in a ton of work. My coworker, who has lived here 20+ years is freaking out. We never have issues with any pest and pride ourselves on it. I call Eradico and they tell me that to make sure we get to the root of the problem quickly I will need to let them have access to all the apartments surrounding the complainers apartment. He sends me a fax to give to each tenant telling them what they need to do prior to the inspection, like taking apart their bed and box spring and removing bedding and pillows and what to do with them etc. No one is home so I drop letters explaining the situation and a copy of the fax at each door. Later on that day the person who called to report the bed bugs came in and bitched up a storm like it was our fault he had bugs and how he didn't want to wait till Wednesday because he was busy Wednesday and now has to cancel his plans. I told him not to worry that I will let them in and out and such because they have to go through all the apartments around him which got him madder because he then knows that people will think he is dirty. He has friends here, they are all elderly by the way, and they were in the office backing him up and angry about the pest issue. He ended up storming out of the office. Whatever.So I get a couple calls from some of the tenants complaining about the letter and such saying now they can't sleep here and feel itchy all of a sudden. I tell them it will be fixed Wednesday and not to worry and that there has yet been any confirmation that there are indeed bedbugs anyway, which I doubt there would. He never once complained about bites.So I get in today and my coworker tells me that the bed bug guy said that he had a napkin with the dead bedbugs to show the eradico guy when he came today.So around 2 Eradico shows up and I take him over there. The guy is not home so we go into his room and the guy checks the bedding. Says he sees nothing. I remembered about the napkin and looked around and found in on the dining room table and we both look at it. Eradico Guy: Are you shitting me?Me: Are those fucking seeds?Eradico Guy: Are you shitting me?Me: Seeds??? Seeds??? Eradico Guy: Those aren't bed bugs...Me: fucking seeds? OMG Seeds, just plain dark seeds. 5 other tenants had to dismantle their beds before going to work this morning and worry for 2 days about blood sucking bugs and all it was was fucking seeds. 4 people looked at this napkin before me and Eradico guy and they all didn't see that they were seeds....Seeds. He called as I was writing up letters of apology to the other tenants and he called angry asking me "when the hell are you guys taking care of this?"Me: We were just there, Mike, those aren't bugs, they are seeds.Mike: Seeds? What?Me: They are seeds Mike, not bugs, seeds. You have no bed bug problem.Mike: Seeds? Where did they come from?Me: Not from bed bugsMike: I don't get it.Me: I would suggest not eating in bed Mike.Mike: Okay, thanks, *click*FU Mike.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Randy Reed

Randy Reed 0

Posted
Posted
SEEDS?!?!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!? FUCKING SEEDS??!!!Hey little story. Last Sunday evening I went down to the end of the street to a friends farmhouse.He has a garden and pond out back and some apple trees, etc. He told me I could come by anytime and pick some blackberries, apples whatever.I hiked back to back part with my bucket in tow and to my surprise there was a half dozen high schoolaged chicks skinnydipping. They immediately started giggling and yelling for me to get out of there. I told them not to worry, I wasn't there to see some young girls run around naked. One of them asked mewhat I was doing though. I said, "Feeding the alligators".
Link to post
Share on other sites
El Guapo

El Guapo 8

Posted
Posted

I was watching this show on either Discovery, Animal Planet, History or one of those channels that all seem the same to me. This Australian guy went around to different parts of the world and let weird animals/bugs bite him. The worst was when he was bitten by a fire ant and it sent him into anaphylactic shock and he almost died. He was in some South American country and let a bed bug bite him. Up close they look like a mix between a cockroach and mosquito. The dig into your skin with horrible fangs and gnaw at your flesh to get the hole opened and then their saliva has an anti coagulant so your blood does not clot. The reason they are dangerous is when they bit you they shit, and that shit usually mixes into your blood stream. The guy on this show held is out with tweezers as it bit him and the brown saliva looking stuff came out it's backside in large quantities compared to the bug itself.Nasty little buggers.Here's an enhanced image I found:Apple_seeds_-_variety_Regia_(aka).jpglook at the fangs on the one on the right!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Randy Reed

Randy Reed 0

Posted
Posted
I was watching this show on either Discovery, Animal Planet, History or one of those channels that all seem the same to me. This Australian guy went around to different parts of the world and let weird animals/bugs bite him. The worst was when he was bitten by a fire ant and it sent him into anaphylactic shock and he almost died. He was in some South American country and let a bed bug bite him. Up close they look like a mix between a cockroach and mosquito. The dig into your skin with horrible fangs and gnaw at your flesh to get the hole opened and then their saliva has an anti coagulant so your blood does not clot. The reason they are dangerous is when they bit you they shit, and that shit usually mixes into your blood stream. The guy on this show held is out with tweezers as it bit him and the brown saliva looking stuff came out it's backside in large quantities compared to the bug itself.Nasty little buggers.Here's an enhanced image I found:Apple_seeds_-_variety_Regia_(aka).jpglook at the fangs on the one on the right!
OH shit! Those are the same seeds Piddle found!
Link to post
Share on other sites
hank213

hank213 1,823

Posted
Posted
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!? FUCKING SEEDS??!!!Hey little story. Last Sunday evening I went down to the end of the street to a friends farmhouse.He has a garden and pond out back and some apple trees, etc. He told me I could come by anytime and pick some blackberries, apples whatever.I hiked back to back part with my bucket in tow and to my surprise there was a half dozen high schoolaged chicks skinnydipping. They immediately started giggling and yelling for me to get out of there. I told them not to worry, I wasn't there to see some young girls run around naked. One of them asked mewhat I was doing though. I said, "Feeding the alligators".
What, no blurry pics?
Link to post
Share on other sites
hank213

hank213 1,823

Posted
Posted

Just found out I'm getting promoted. More pay, less work. It's the American Dream baby.--editSuck it Sal!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sal Paradise

Sal Paradise 57

Posted
Posted
Just found out I'm getting promoted. More pay, less work. It's the American Dream baby.--editSuck it Sal!
hey no man, thats great. I'm glad for you. I got promoted once. oh wait, NO I DIDN'T. FUCK YOU.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Followers 7
Go to topic listing

Announcements

×
×
  • Create New...