Funny/crazy Casino Stories

[matt21sz 0]

This story has nothing to do with poker or gambling in general, however it occured in a casino, so it works. Soory it's so long.Last year a group of ten of us were in Vegas...we stayed at Mirage. It was Friday night and we had been out all night pounding the cocktails. We get back to our hotel around 4am. My buddy and his fiancee decide to head up to there room and call it a night. She's damn hot, but a little psycho, so it's fun to mess with her.The rest of us were in the lobby @ Mirage...we started to walk towards the casino, you have to walk through some jungle/atrium thing to get there from the lobby. In the atrium before we get to the casino, there is a "working" girl leaning on the railing(I'm sure Mirage would love that). Sadly, I have to give my girlfriend credit for this idea, but she thought it would be hysterical to send this hooker up to our friends room that had just left us to go to bed. We all chipped in some money and asked the hooker if she'd be willing to pull the prank with us. She agreed...said we we're ***-holes, but agreed. Getting called an ***-hole by a prostitute is funny enough in itself, but it gets better.We go up to their floor and we stay down at the end of the hall(only like 30 feet away or so) while the hooker goes to the door. We had told her our friend's name and his fiancee's name to use when they opened the door. We here the door open...and it was the fiancee that opened the door. We didn't find out what was said until the next day. Apparently, when she answered the door, the hooker busts out with, "wow, you're even more beautiful than your boyfriend said you were." ***** hitting fan*All hell breaks loose as his fiancee starts screaming every curse word at him saying how dare he think she would ever **** some dirty hooker with him...every curse word know to man was being used. The hooker starts walking away and we hear all kinds of noise coming from the room (she was throwing things from the sound of it) By this point, the 8 of us are on the floor laughing uncontrollably...we look up and see our buddy as he gets pushed out of the door...next thing we see is a high heel shoe come flying out of the room and hits him right in the chest. At this point he looks down the hall and sees us. Then he starts cursing at us, saying we're assholes, which we are, yelling about killing us in our sleep, etc.We finally calmed him down after he saw the greatness that was this prank. Anyway, it was another 15 minutes or so before he could convince his fiancee to let him back in the room.She didn't say a word to us for the remaining 3 days of the trip. Now she laughs about it, but damn was she pissed. My buddy however, thought it was the funniest thing in the world. That just pissed her off more. I don't think he got much action for the next month.I do know one thing, payback is gonna be a *****.

[rog 0]

By this point, the 8 of us are on the floor laughing uncontrollably...we look up and see our buddy as he gets pushed out of the door...next thing we see is a high heel shoe come flying out of the room and hits him right in the chest. At this point he looks down the hall and sees us. Then he starts cursing at us, saying we're assholes, which we are, yelling about killing us in our sleep, etc.

I think we have a new leader...

[rogerwilco 0]

i disagree, the aces full 10s was actually beaten by aces full js, not a qualifing bad beat. The 4 aces beat the aces full js, which wasn't using both holes.My point: The 4 aces beat aces full jacks, the aces full 10s was already beat, thus i think they made the correct call.

That's ridiculous, second best hand gets not a cent more than 5th best hand in poker, it is totally useless to compare hands that way. The AAATT was not beaten by the AAAJJ, it was beaten by AAAAQ.I hate that decision by the casino.

[rockytrh 0]

That's ridiculous, second best hand gets not a cent more than 5th best hand in poker, it is totally useless to compare hands that way. The AAATT was not beaten by the AAAJJ, it was beaten by AAAAQ.I hate that decision by the casino.

Wrong, the second best hand gets 50% of the jackpot. this isn't poker we are talking about, this is a bad beat jackpot. the AAATT was the THIRD best hand, and should not be counted to the jackpot. the second best hand didn't use both holes

[Lavitz 0]

I was only 17 at the time, but I went to Vegas with my family for a wedding and me and three of my cousins (who were all aged 21-24) shared a room together in a hotel. Anyways, one night they all went out to a casino well I was forced to basically wander about the hotel by myself. They come back right as I am about to drift asleep and they all have grins on their faces. I inquire what they are all smiling about, suspecting one of them won a lot of money or something. Nope, instead they tell me they were playing blackjack and this old women stumbles upon the table, visibly intoxicated. However, she appeared to be holding something in her hand. Further investigation showed she was holding a leash and about five feet away was an old man dressed in all black bondage material with a collar around his neck hooked up to the leash. He was walking around on all fours like a dog the entire time and occasionaly she would scold him for making too much noise.

[GrindingAway 0]

According to a Dealer - Three people in a hand - Firing at it from the flop ... on the river player #1 & 2 check - Player # 3 fires out a bet 1 & 2 fold. Dealer asks for player 3's cards - He doesn't have any ... apparently he remembered the junk he folded , got excited ( apparently forgot he folded 'em ) & went to town betting his imaginary hand . Brush brought over & pot split between the two players that actually had hands...

[mrdannyg 274]

yelling about killing us in our sleep, etc.

good story, for some reason that part cracked me up the most.i have a similar story, and i wish i was a good storyteller because it has the potential to be hilarious.basically, i knew everyone that worked at this Second Cup down the street, so a bunch of us were hanging out in the middle afternoon one day in the summer. it's just outside downtown Toronto, so there's plenty of weirdness about. Another friend of ours has been a big puss all summer, so we decide to **** with him. he lives not too far away, in a nice suburbany house with his parents. we grab the phone book, looking to call a hooker to his house. we don't have much luck, but since its Second Cup, someone has left some weird alternative paper lying around. We check the back ads, and sure enough there's plenty of weird ones. We end up finding one advertising "unusual and exotic treasures."So we call them up, and are disappointed to find that since its the middle of the day, only one hooker is available. We assure her that "ebony" is fine, but ask if she'll be escorted, since we're a bit afraid of our buddy getting beaten up by a huge pimp. The lady sounds confused, but says ebony rarely runs into trouble.Ebony is expected at 4pm, so we close down Second Cup and run down to hide in the bushes at the end of the street. The setting is important, since it's a beautiful sunny day on a quiet street, with everything green and blue. It's about quarter after, and we're about to give up when we see a Hummer whip around the corner at about 80 km/h. We figure there's no way, but sure enough it slows down, and pulls up at our buddy's house. The driver's door opens, then closes, but nothing happens for a few seconds. We then see the trunk being opened, and we get our first glimpse of Ebony...A black, male midget.We probably roll around the street for 2 minutes, as Ebony pokes around in his trunk, assembling all sorts of ****. We don't have the best view, but we see among other things, a whip, handcuffs, lube and several dildos being packed into a gym bag. He then walks up and knocks on the door. Again, we get disappointed since no one seems to be answering, and curse ourselves for not making sure he was home.Around now, our buddy, who's house it is, strolls up behind us, and wonders what the hell we're doing on his street. I don't think any of us were able to verbalize a response, but we somehow got the point across the a black midget gigolo was knocking on his door, and **** you for not being home. He kind of looks confused and says that his parents should be home.We peak around, and sure enough, see that his dad has answered the door, in a bathrobe, and looking very sweaty. His dad is pretty mild-mannered, and is calmly talking to Ebony. They chat for a few minutes, then Ebony goes inside! We wait a minute or two, then sneak around back of the house. His father and Ebony are just sitting in the living room, his father in his bathrobe, and looking decidedly worn out, but calm, and Ebony in his hilarious midget jeans and midget black leather vest. His mom comes out of the kitchen, also looking very worn out and in her bathrobe, and serves them tea. We watch for about 15 minutes, while they drink tea and chat, then Ebony stands up, they say some sort of friendly goodbyes, and Ebony just drives away.I think we laughed for about a week, and I still have laughing fits sometimes years later, just thinking about how funny it was. Possibly the best part is that his parents figured our buddy had organized it, since he had only left the house to pick up some milk. He of course didn't return to the house until several hours later, and without milk, so his parents figured it was him.

[sixhands 0]

According to a Dealer - Three people in a hand - Firing at it from the flop ... on the river player #1 & 2 check - Player # 3 fires out a bet 1 & 2 fold. Dealer asks for player 3's cards - He doesn't have any ... apparently he remembered the junk he folded , got excited ( apparently forgot he folded 'em ) & went to town betting his imaginary hand . Brush brought over & pot split between the two players that actually had hands...

That is hilarious. The guy may as well just take the rest of his money out of his pocket and split it with the table

[Pokergolf 0]

About 5 yrs ago my 75 yr old grandmother was playing Carb. Stud at Amerstar in St. Louis. Progressive jackpot was 75k. At the time, they used a shuffle machine and dealt 5 cards at a time to each player, then five for the house. My grandmother was in the second seat, and the 50 yr. old lady in the first seat goes to the bathroom. This leaves my g-mother getting her cards. Second hand after lady leaves, my grandmother gets a straight flush to the 8, pays 10% of the progressive. Lady came back from the can, saw what was up and started to cry (my grandmothers words).

[FourFlusher 0]

First time I was ever in the Garden City Casino, stone cold sober. I walked in cocky like Clint Eastwood, found the brush and put my name in.I get called and seated in the 9 seat. I buy a rack and make four stacks. The dealer was a big guy, and I didn't like sitting in the 9 seat. As I'm stacking the 1 seat opens. I tell the dealer I want it, and instead of trying to push across the dealer, I just grab $25 in each hand and get up to move.I hooked my foot in the coctail table next to my chair, and stumbled. I did a two step runout, hit an empty chair some ******* had left in the ailse, and went down, face down on the casino floor.Fifty red chips went flying in the air.People holloring, have another drink, *******...Floorman in my face, asking me if I'm ok, but really sniffing for alcohol.He helped me pick up my chips, which were all over the place, and he puts them on the table where I wound up closest to. He thought I had knocked them off the table on my way down. A few minutes and some help from the table got my chips back.There went my Clint Eastwood impression.

[Dexterity 0]

Playing poker at Casino RamaTable behind me - this black guy gets sucked out on badly by this other dude, so he gets up, walks over to that side of the table, takes his shoe off, and hits him over the head with it.Good times

[Kurtman213 0]

Playing poker at Casino RamaTable behind me - this black guy gets sucked out on badly by this other dude, so he gets up, walks over to that side of the table, takes his shoe off, and hits him over the head with it.Good times

Why does he have to be black??sw

[GrindingAway 0]

... stone cold sober.... .

Most Amazing story here - I'd have bet you one to a million you'd never hear someone start off a crazy casino story with that phrase

[NOFX_PUNK 0]

Playing poker at Casino RamaTable behind me - this black guy gets sucked Good times

I had another window over the top of this one and I genuinely thought this was where the post was gonna end!

[Theraflu 1,035]

I was at Foxwood's at a blackjack table.It was a special blackjack table where you could put $1 chip on this circle with a 7 in it. This was a side bet. If you were dealt a 7, you got $5. If you were dealt two 7's, you got like $50. If you were dealt three 7's, you got like $500. But if you were dealt three 7's all of the same suit, you got $5000 for your $1 bet.Well, this college age hot asian chick was seated two seats to the left of me. Her first two cards are the 7 of clubs. Nobody is really paying attention. Well, it comes around to the guy before her and he hits his 13 with the dealer showing a 4. Out comes the 7 of clubs. This was supposed to be the chick's 7 of clubs that would have won her $5000.The guy caught hell and promptly left the table.

oh man, i was playing at one of those tables, but wasnt diong the 7 bet. so i get two 7s, and split. next card: 7. split. next card: 7. next card: 7. i think i lost all 4 of my splits too, and i didnt win the big prize. still made $400 on blackjack that night though.

[NoSup4U 0]

Here's my crazy casino story...A year ago, at my B & M one table in front of us, at a 4-8 table. Older guys wins a big pot. He's raking in the chips and puts his head down as the pile is just in front of him. He looks like he's crying!...must have been losing a bunch and this was a relatively big pot for him, over a hundo.He keeps his head down and now it looks like he is really beside himself, head shaking, shoulders heaving up and down. I really felt bad for the guy, he must have been broke and really needed to win a big hand.The next hand is dealt and the guy isn't even aware that it's now on him to act.Finally the guy next to him says enough is enough, hey man, you gonna play those cards or not?The guy just sits there with his head down....but now he's drooling in his lap.We was DEAD!!!Died right there after that pot! So insane. They threw him flat on the floor and moved the table and pumped him up and all that crap, but it was over.I grabbed my chips and left. Just freaked me out.I wish I was kidding. The sickest thing....every other table just kept on playing like nothing was happeneing. Just weird...and sad. He was a regular there and most knew him pretty well.Buzz kill.

Wow Scott. As totally random as this is, I was there that night, about 3 tables away. All of a sudden everyone is standing up or whatever, and we come to find out the guy died. Guess its 'relatively' common in casinos, as sad as that makes me :(Mark

[cemo76 0]

Playing at the Belaggio 8-16 limit. Pretty good game with alot of action. Dealer is a nice girl who looks too tired to deal anymore. Anyway, Middle Eastern Dude comes and sits down. Very nice and polite. buys in for $1000 dollars (which is pretty big for 8-16 limit)..Plays a couple hands and gets beat pretty fair and square. Down to $800. No word of a lie. Takes the whole $800 dollars and pushes it all in???We all looked puzzzled. The dealer asks him what he is doing and he says "This is all yours, I know I am going to lose it to these guys and it looks like you need it more" Wow, he goes into his pocket and takes out another $2000. Check this out, he says every pot we win , he will match the same tip. So I win a huge pot with aces and tip $5 dollars and he matches.The guy, turns the table into a Tip fest. Everyone is tipping win lose. I go on a streak and get my stack to $2500 in 8-16. I am getting hammered and its is 11 in the morning and after 10 hours of playing when I look over and this guy has his rack to over $7000??The guy was off the hook. 3 or 4 huge businessman just playing for the first time gave him and I all there money. As we're getting up he tips the waitresss $500 and comes over to me and in Turkish says "we had a good time, We made money and the casino loves us what else do you want..."WTF the man knew my language, I said are you Turkish, he was like no but I speak 9 languages. Anyway, long story I know, he was a secret service agent for a foriegn country and strongly believed and I MEAN STRONGLY in Karma.He said when you give, You will always get back MORE"I believe!

[jjgoldy5 0]

About 5 yrs ago my 75 yr old grandmother was playing Carb. Stud at Amerstar in St. Louis. Progressive jackpot was 75k. At the time, they used a shuffle machine and dealt 5 cards at a time to each player, then five for the house. My grandmother was in the second seat, and the 50 yr. old lady in the first seat goes to the bathroom. This leaves my g-mother getting her cards. Second hand after lady leaves, my grandmother gets a straight flush to the 8, pays 10% of the progressive. Lady came back from the can, saw what was up and started to cry (my grandmothers words).

Actually this is wrong, if one less player is dealt in, every player's hand changes completely.Say 9 people are at the table. The woman would have gotten cards 1,10,19,28,37 etcIf she gets up, your grandmother gets cards 1, 9, 17, 25, 33

[KingBriOfLV 0]

I was at Foxwood's at a blackjack table.It was a special blackjack table where you could put $1 chip on this circle with a 7 in it. This was a side bet. If you were dealt a 7, you got $5. If you were dealt two 7's, you got like $50. If you were dealt three 7's, you got like $500. But if you were dealt three 7's all of the same suit, you got $5000 for your $1 bet.Well, this college age hot asian chick was seated two seats to the left of me. Her first two cards are the 7 of clubs. Nobody is really paying attention. Well, it comes around to the guy before her and he hits his 13 with the dealer showing a 4. Out comes the 7 of clubs. This was supposed to be the chick's 7 of clubs that would have won her $5000.The guy caught hell and promptly left the table.

OMG that fking 3 7's jackpot BJ game is nuts at Foxwoods. About 6 years ago I was playing at one of those tables at Foxwoods and the table was packed. Next to me was a European guy with a heavy accent and his russian GF. This guy was getting his *** handed to him left and right, every hand he would bust or the dealer would beat him. He was playing the dollar side bet EVERY HAND. New asian dealer comes in and starts to deal lightning fast. I ask him to slow down to no avail. I start putting my hand over my betting circle so I can get my bet in. Heavy accent guy is whining and whining as he is losing. He puts his BJ bet up and reaches back to get his $1 for the side bet. As he does this the first card comes out. He is in seat 5 or 6. I immediately put my hand out on the felt to stop the dealer. He stops dealing with just a face card out for the player in seat one. The guy goes to put his dollar side bet out. The dealer says to late, I tell him to call the pit boss over. This nasty biotch says the guy can not put his dollar out cause the dealer already dealt 1 card. The guy argues for about 5 seconds and then stops. Needless to say the guy winds up making three 7 of spades and missed out on 5 grand. His GF starts crying, he looks ready to murder the dealer and Pit lady but does nothing. I told him if I was him I woulda flipped over the table. He starts screaming and cursing in a foreign language, they call security over and asked him to leave! B In LV

[GoStags92 0]

edit

[FatBurger 0]

Actually this is wrong, if one less player is dealt in, every player's hand changes completely.

and dealt 5 cards at a time to each player

So no, it doesn't change.

[towerguy 0]

I was playing some 4-8 limit in Winstar Oklahoma ( 60 miles north of Dallas) when this really hot looking chick with a ballcap got seated beside me. About 10 seconds later, the table was overpowered with this smell of horse crap....turns out she worked as a horse trainer. She played really agressively, doubled her starting stack of $120 in about 10 hands and left.....

[Eleusis 2]

Most Amazing story here - I'd have bet you one to a million you'd never hear someone start off a crazy casino story with that phrase

Sorry to hijack, but dude, your sig has a typo.

[Knight_Owl 0]

Here's my crazy casino story...A year ago, at my B & M one table in front of us, at a 4-8 table. Older guys wins a big pot. He's raking in the chips and puts his head down as the pile is just in front of him. He looks like he's crying!...must have been losing a bunch and this was a relatively big pot for him, over a hundo.He keeps his head down and now it looks like he is really beside himself, head shaking, shoulders heaving up and down. I really felt bad for the guy, he must have been broke and really needed to win a big hand.The next hand is dealt and the guy isn't even aware that it's now on him to act.Finally the guy next to him says enough is enough, hey man, you gonna play those cards or not?The guy just sits there with his head down....but now he's drooling in his lap.We was DEAD!!!Died right there after that pot! So insane. They threw him flat on the floor and moved the table and pumped him up and all that crap, but it was over.I grabbed my chips and left. Just freaked me out.I wish I was kidding. The sickest thing....every other table just kept on playing like nothing was happeneing. Just weird...and sad. He was a regular there and most knew him pretty well.Buzz kill.

I've heard of a similiar story of this before...soo sad would one really want to die while playing poker?

[Squirrelmonger 0]

Back in 2001 iirc bunch of friends were heading to the Rose Bowl, and were gonna stay with a friend of my brother who lives right next door to Hulk Hogan (no ****, i saw the dude water his F'n lawn). Its not like a massive mansion or anything its just a decent size upscale house.Anyways on the way out to LA we were making fabulous time due to our "speeding problem", so we decide to stop off in Vegas since its like 2am and they aren't expecting us in LA until like noon. We proceed to casino hop for a while sort of just checking things out. I honestly can't for the life of me remember which casino we were in, but a guy who was on the trip with us was nicknamed "Butters". For a bit of background Butters is the down to earth, not so sharp, born and raised in the cornfield's of nebraska type of guy. All of us had played a bit of poker, but at the time I think we all pretty much sucked a lot a$$. So anyways, we are watching this poker table and there are 6 players playing NL-HE. At the time I don't think I even knew enough about poker to bother looking at the stakes on the table, I certainly don't remember what they were, but anyways everyone on the table has quite a bit of chips on the table, the amounts were around $5,000 each or so (which i didn't realise until later, see below).So we are watching this game and I think everyone is feeling a little nervous about pulling cash out of pocket to gamble since nobody planned on it at all. But Butters is super interested in this game going on. So he watching the game and I guess he saw one of the guys hole cards and proceeds to watch the hand develope until the guy made a pretty sizeable bluff. Well butters decides to chime up pretty friggin loud "Hey guys, check this out this dude is bluffing this other dude with 6,3." The guy turns to look at Butters with the stair of death and the other guy quickly re-raises and takes the pot down. We are all glaring at Butters along with the guy and I think we all felt like we needed to distance ourselves from butters at that point.Well at this point looking back I have no clue why the guy didn't have us pitched from the casino considering i think we cost him a like 1000 bucks. But we keep watching for another 5 minutes and nobody bothers us...so the guy who made all the money from "Butters" turns to him and says "Hey kid are you 21?" butters of course is like 22 at the time iirc and says "yes". So the guy proceeds to tell butters to play his hands for him while he takes a piss. It was pretty clear as the guy stood up he had been drinking pretty heavily but I think we were all shocked he would trust a stranger with his money anyways.So the guy gets up tells the dealer that Butters can play his chips and walks off. I would of thought you couldn't do something like let someone else play your chips but the dealer just nods at the dude and he walks off. Butters sits down and the guy who lost all the money looks at butters with a sneer and says "Hey kid wanna make some money?". Butters being the doofus he is says something equivalent to "golly gee that sounds swell". So he tells butters if you push all your chips in but one next hand and then fold I will give you $2,000 dollars. Butters thinks for a second, gets a **** eating grin and agrees. After the hand the guy counts out 20 $100 bills to Butters and says "Its been a pleasure doing business with you."Long story short, we high-tailed it out of there at that point and ended up sleeping in the car in LA rather than hang around vegas. I think we were all pretty scared of that guy catching up with us. But one thing is for sure that guy sure as hell didn't see that train wreck coming down the tracks.