In One Sentence...

[ricker 0]

I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

[bigkg 0]

I'm a douchebag.

[Dirtydutch 8]

It's hard to talk about myself, but here are some things that have been said about me:"a ruthlessly stabbing utopia"-- The New York Times"a blindingly sharp voice of treason… and utopian, too"-- Suntrust Bank"There's urban, there's urban and then there's Dutch! Utopia doesn't even begin to describe it."-- R. Kelly"a pious exertion into lucidity. UTOPIAN!"-- The Atlanta Journal Constitution"Sh1tty? No, utopian!"-- Dr. Phil"Dutch's posts cure Cancer, Frigidity, Illiteracy and B1tchiness-- all problems exclusive to women"-- Hilary Clinton "There is but one God. But if you count Dutch, there're two"-- Pope Benedict XVIWow, that's mind blowing. Thanks guys, I'm humbled.

[timwakefield 68]

I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

This is quite clearly two sentences.

[the red bull 0]

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."Heh. I know it is obviously more than once sentence, but it had to be said.

[FlopsyMcNutz 0]

I love scotch...scotchy scotch scotch.

[GrinderMJ 0]

I'm good at everything i've ever tried.

[Gibbo 0]

My life is a ****ing grind.

[Love4hockey 0]

It needs to be at least........three times that size.

He's right! He's absolutely right.

[76clubs 0]

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

[Zach6668 513]

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

These pretzels are making ME thirsty

[nickforgot 0]

I choked on a gobstopperFYP'ers here is your hayday

[GrinderMJ 0]

I choked on a snozzberry

[Hillary Clinton 0]

I'm a total bitch.

[76clubs 0]

I'm a total bitch.

its okay, i like youkinda

[Petoria 0]

****. **** ****.

[CardWarfare 4]

I'm good at everything i've ever tried.

I actually was going to say something like this, but I would've needed to be more specific.. I'm good at everything I put effort into.

[SunDrop 0]

I suck at life.

[Golden 2]

I am continuously searching for something that may never have existed in the first place.

[Got The Nutz 0]

Im Living My Dream , In Vegas

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

I'm trapped in a glass case of emotion.

[aadams_22 3]

Instead of beating dead horses, I sell them to shady butcher shops.

[ricker 0]

This is quite clearly two sentences.

Ouch, thank you for the correction....my bad Cap!

[AbeAllen 0]

My life is a chaotic, procrastinating, cluttered loud mess with too many people in my face.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Aw, man, I'm drunk and a massive disappointment to everyone who has ever cared about me.