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I Called In Sick Today


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yeah my 30th birthday is coming up and I've made every effort to make sure nobody I know even knows when it is. took my birthday off of facebook and everything. birthdays are just idiotic. "hey, congratulations on still being alive! I know I don't normally like you or talk to you or anything, but today, TODAY, I'm very happy for you! for no reason!"
every Jehovah's Witness prays for a son like you.
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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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In kindergarten there was a kid in my class who's family didn't celebrate birthdays and we were all like "wth, are you gonna be like 5 forever?!?"
Don't act like that story's not actually about you
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In kindergarten there was a kid in my class who's family didn't celebrate birthdays and we were all like "wth, are you gonna be like 5 forever?!?"
They're called Jehovah's Witnesses.
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They're called Jehovah's Witnesses.
I'm pretty sure they were Catholic (parents were immigrants from Spain) They just didn't do the whole birthday thing.Edit: yes, I'm aware that doesn't make sense but I'm positive they were catholic. 5 yr old me assumed that if you didn't have a party you didn't actually advance in age.
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Awesome reviewIt's so much like Facebook.....--In other words, it’s only a matter of days before Google+ is sued by the Winklevoss twins.1. Instead of “friending” someone, like on Facebook, and having everyone lumped into one omnibus group of “friends,” on Google+, you drop the people you choose to friend into various circles you create. You can then share things within specific circles.For example, you can make a circle for good friends and call it “Friends Circle,” a circle for your relatives and call it “Relatives Circle,” a circle for people you don’t like and call it “Circle Jerks” and so on.In The New York Times, columnist David Pogue explains it better. He writes: “Creating (the circles) is a blast: an array of tiles represents your online acquaintances. . . . You drag each one into an actual on-screen circle, where they tumble into place.”Pogue is right: Creating the circles really is a blast, if your definition of a blast is dragging your mouse.There is, though, something disconcerting about the whole Circles business. Yes, we all have various social circles in life but to actually define them — and to do it so specifically — seems distasteful. It’s actually the antithesis of the way social interactions and our social lives can work so wonderfully in real life.That said, having many circles does ensure you’re not sharing the wrong things with the wrong people. Hence, my circles “Crush-Fetish Friends,” “Armpit-F--king Friends” and “Newt Gingrich for President Supporters.”
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I did the same thing for the same reason last night. Did you just make your birth date private or did you change the actual date?
just made it private. I've got so very little info on there people have to think I'm a serial killer or some shit. plus, you know, the bodies.
Did nobody make a ZJ joke?
we don't speak veterinarian language here freak
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just made it private. I've got so very little info on there people have to think I'm a serial killer or some shit. plus, you know, the bodies.
I think your birthday is still going to show up on everyone's homepage the day of your birthday. Not sure about that, but I changed my actual birthday to last month and made it private.
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I just checked my calander on there and it wasn't even showing up for me, so I'm pretty confident that no one will be the wiser.at the beach. well, not at the actual beach, but you know, in the city. it's hot.

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it turns out being super-strong and able to fly and shoot lasers from your eyes is pretty boss, and there's little reason to whine about it when there's work to do.
Who knew? I liked that...article? Whatever that was.
Hey guys, if anyone needs an invite to Google+, just hit me up. It's totally awesome.
I'm going to go ahead and just wait until I know what you're talking about. It looks like Jubi posted a link about it and Randy might've posted something about it, but that seems like a lot of reading.Happy birthday, Shake.**I was skimming a lot. I think somebody said it's Shake's birthday.
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shut up bro I just bought TWO new workout shirts.I mean I'm gonna have to put off paying my car insurance for a month now but whatevs

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I don't know shit
You and me....both
shut up bro I just bought TWO new workout shirts.I mean I'm gonna have to put off paying my car insurance for a month now but whatevs
Then you will excuse me from posting my day to day shit on here for a few weeks, huh?I dunno.... Im extremely intoxicated so sont pay much attention to me. Im leaving for the west coast in a few day and I have wayyyy too many things to do before leaving.Ill twitt from now on
You just ______ two new workout shirts.Washed? Generic soap next time.
yeah
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I always love the beans posts where you can actually tell that he's drunk off his ass. they always get shorter and are filled with more typos. they provide for the full, well rounded character.so I may be going to the actual beach today. were just recently a few shark attacks just north of here, so if I don't post anymore, then know that I'm probably just busy beating the shit out of some loser ass shark.

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I always love the beans posts where you can actually tell that he's drunk off his ass. they always get shorter and are filled with more typos. they provide for the full, well rounded character.so I may be going to the actual beach today. were just recently a few shark attacks just north of here, so if I don't post anymore, then know that I'm probably just busy beating the shit out of some loser ass shark.
from the inside.
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If you're not in the US, disregard because it's a controlled substance pretty much everywhere on earth, but for those in the US who have sleep issues...Melatonin *really is* the answer for a lot of us.I was on a sleeping medication regimen from my doc that went to the furthest extremes allowed by his liability insurance, with terrible outcomes.I ate a Lazycake and was knocked. the. ****. out. Not in a 'narcotic-high' kind of way. Just overwhelming sleep. I know several people who tried them and they had NO effect. Turns out the active ingredient is synthetic melatonin. Seems a lot of us are deficient in this hormone, impacting our sleep patterns, and if you are naturally deficient in melatonin, taking it in synthetic form will correct it quite firmly.Ordered some 5mg tabs off Amazon, took them last night, worked better than Valium, Sominex, Chloral Hydrate, or whatever else my doc used to give me.

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