I Called In Sick Today

[leftygolfer 7]

Full circle or no deal.

Kumbaya

[CaneBrain 95]

I thought you were Lawrenceville...

Nah, I know plenty of kids who went there though. Good school, nice golf course. I'm still surprised they had a football player worthy of the ACC....

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

people actually think daniel tosh is funny? that's just a damn shame.

[speedz99 145]

people actually think daniel tosh is funny? that's just a damn shame.

I've never seen his standup, but some of his show is hilarious. Yeah, more jokes miss than hit, but usually his interactions with the "youtube famous" people are great, mostly because he's a huge dick to them (though not uncomfortably so).

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

I've never seen his standup, but some of his show is hilarious. Yeah, more jokes miss than hit, but usually his interactions with the "youtube famous" people are great, mostly because he's a huge dick to them (though not uncomfortably so).

yeah, i'm sure his show has its moments. but one of my friends was playing his stand-up during a car-ride. it was brutally unfunny. obviously it ended up in argument that could only be settled with arm wrestling. i went OVER THE TOP and was victorious.

[Roll the Bones 74]

Ya I know how you feel. I was up by 30 points heading into last nights game in both of my fantasy football leagues, and both my opponents had Vick. Lost by 30 in both.

Was playing my son and up by 10. He had Philly's kicker, ugh. 11 pts, 8 of them extra points.

Yes. Ewwww. Even the situation with the 18 month old is super weird.

I've read some books recently that took place or were about medevial times. It's weird to think about family and help all sleeping in the same room. Hell, even in frontier times most of the houses were one room as well. It's seems we've only gotten modest over the last few hundred years. It's still weird though. Maybe separate bedrooms were a better invention than the microwave? Ah, who am I kidding, the microwave rocks, let 'em listen!

I thought you were Lawrenceville...Weed last year, the night before he was to leave for last year of boarding school. Public Intox, night before 1st day of college. Next year I'm guessing heroin or a good rape charge.EG - It took me a year before I didn't care banging the OL while the dogs were in the room. Oh yeah, I forgot. Sugar, our lhasa/poodle mix, almost was eaten by a coyote. My catlike reflexes and 6.1 40 dash speed saved her.Here's something for you lovers of the Asian dude from The Weekend:

SOUND IS NSFW

This comment was better than the video-Every music video should have a background asian

[Napa Lite 3,278]

Well I thought Tosh was hilarious and laughed a lot. Most of his jokes were just super innapropriate and a lot of the Omaha audience seemed offended. So looks like me and sa21 got an arm wrasslin' match to attend to. :turnsbaseballcapbackwardsandpoints:

[El Guapo 8]

So I don't know how to feel about something. A friend of a friend recently quit a long time job after repeatedly getting ****ed over by the company. He has Hazmat certifications and does water cleanup projects. He makes significantly less than people who work underneath him and recently found out a bosses nephew with no experience we hired to do the job he wanted to be promoted to, and he was supposed to train him. He up and quit.Now he does not have a lot of money, his wife is pregnant and works but my initial reaction was to not feel bad for him because he quit, he was not fired. Apparently he has a DUI from when he was younger and they were using that as leverage because until that is off his record (I think it takes 10 years) he was not employable in his field because of the felony, or so I was told. He is a proud guy, but needs money and work ASAP. So through our other friend he called us to see if he could do some yard work for some extra cash. We are paying him $200 to strip out some flower beds full of weed, moves some rocks and general clean up of overgrown shrubs and bushes. I will probably take him 30 hours to do all this. My wife did this to help him out, and get something done she has wanted done for a while. I feel guilty because I know they guy and we are paying him shit to do this work, but at the same time I would not pay anyone to do it if he had not approached us.Also, he is black.

[brvheart 1,752]

On another FF note (I know, awesome topic) I traded for Tom Brady and TO on expiring contracts for a 2nd round pick next year. My 2nd round pick this year.... Kevin Kolb.

whoa whoa whoa. You're in some sort of dynasty league, and all of your players have contracts? Is there some way you can link me to your site or show me info on this? I must be a league like that.

On facebook, a girl in my class (that I barely know) had the following on her page:Girl: Go Steelers, don't fall to those Pats!Speedz: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_AGirl: Whatever, at least our quarterback doesn't whine and yell at his teammates.Speedz: So you prefer "rapey" to "whiny" when looking at the personal characteristics of the quarterback you root for?Random Friend: TOUCHDOWN!She removed the whole conversation from her page. Sore loser.

This was quite funny. Well done Matty.

Did I read this correctly? Colby dated Jenny , and then showed Hal the video tape. That's the gayest, most homoerotic movie night I've heard of in a while. If Jenny's as cool as you say she is--you should tell her. Yeah, there will the supernova of mortification, and she'll probably lock herself in a bathroom and cry. This will be followed by violent fantasies--say--punching Colby in the throat, or taking off her stiletto heel and sinking it into his eye socket screaming "How do you like my darkness now?"

FINALLY! Kinder should have been posting in here for the last year.

[CaneBrain 95]

So I don't know how to feel about something. A friend of a friend recently quit a long time job after repeatedly getting ****ed over by the company. He has Hazmat certifications and does water cleanup projects. He makes significantly less than people who work underneath him and recently found out a bosses nephew with no experience we hired to do the job he wanted to be promoted to, and he was supposed to train him. He up and quit.Now he does not have a lot of money, his wife is pregnant and works but my initial reaction was to not feel bad for him because he quit, he was not fired. Apparently he has a DUI from when he was younger and they were using that as leverage because until that is off his record (I think it takes 10 years) he was not employable in his field because of the felony, or so I was told. He is a proud guy, but needs money and work ASAP. So through our other friend he called us to see if he could do some yard work for some extra cash. We are paying him $200 to strip out some flower beds full of weed, moves some rocks and general clean up of overgrown shrubs and bushes. I will probably take him 30 hours to do all this. My wife did this to help him out, and get something done she has wanted done for a while. I feel guilty because I know they guy and we are paying him shit to do this work, but at the same time I would not pay anyone to do it if he had not approached us.Also, he is black.

You're doing him a favor by providing him with legit work instead of a hand out. Nothing to feel guilty about or anything, imo. I think he deserves lemonade though.

[Theraflu 1,035]

So I don't know how to feel about something. A friend of a friend recently quit a long time job after repeatedly getting ****ed over by the company. He has Hazmat certifications and does water cleanup projects. He makes significantly less than people who work underneath him and recently found out a bosses nephew with no experience we hired to do the job he wanted to be promoted to, and he was supposed to train him. He up and quit.Now he does not have a lot of money, his wife is pregnant and works but my initial reaction was to not feel bad for him because he quit, he was not fired. Apparently he has a DUI from when he was younger and they were using that as leverage because until that is off his record (I think it takes 10 years) he was not employable in his field because of the felony, or so I was told. He is a proud guy, but needs money and work ASAP. So through our other friend he called us to see if he could do some yard work for some extra cash. We are paying him $200 to strip out some flower beds full of weed, moves some rocks and general clean up of overgrown shrubs and bushes. I will probably take him 30 hours to do all this. My wife did this to help him out, and get something done she has wanted done for a while. I feel guilty because I know they guy and we are paying him shit to do this work, but at the same time I would not pay anyone to do it if he had not approached us.Also, he is black.

He's probably going to sell the weed, so that should really up his profit.

[speedz99 145]

We are paying him $200 to strip out some flower beds full of weed, moves some rocks and general clean up of overgrown shrubs and bushes. I will probably take him 30 hours to do all this. My wife did this to help him out, and get something done she has wanted done for a while. I feel guilty because I know they guy and we are paying him shit to do this work, but at the same time I would not pay anyone to do it if he had not approached us.

Meh, throw in a $50 tip and you'll feel better.

[brvheart 1,752]

Michael Vick: "Come ON!"

If he had really tweeted this response, that would have been amazing.

[Roll the Bones 74]

When I was about 23 I was managing a bar, heavy metal bands, but still halfway nice. Anyway, there was girl that came in a few times that I had seen around before that I was dying to meet, (screw like mad). Great looking and fantastic body, so yeah, out of my league. She was at the bar and I wooed her with my witty repartie and smooth conversation, along with a half dozen Gin and dash of tonics. I ended up taking her home and luckily she must not have remembered alot because she agreed to see me again. On about the 4th date we were hanging at my house alone and she went through the video collection and found porn... Shit more later...

[Skeleton Jelly 2]

On about the 4th date we were hanging at my house alone and she went through the video collection and found porn... Shit more later...

The bolded either means "to be continued" or your porn collection is, um, different from what I would expect.

[vbnautilus 48]

Personally I liked Shit More Later 5 the best.

[Skeleton Jelly 2]

Personally I liked Shit More Later 5 the best.

Oh sure, out of the original series, 5 was probably the zenith. But Shit More Later Begins, the gritty reboot of the franchise, took it to another level.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

So looks like me and sa21 got an arm wrasslin' match to attend to. :turnsbaseballcapbackwardsandpoints:

I drive truck, break arms, and arm wrestle. It's what I love to do, it's what I do best.

Also, he is black.

seems to me that if you quit your job when your wife is pregnant, and you know you cant be hired anywhere else, you deserve what you get.

[vbnautilus 48]

seems to me that if you quit your job when your wife is pregnant, and you know you cant be hired anywhere else, you deserve what you get.

Agreed, he deserves to be black.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

Agreed, he deserves to be black.

i tee it up; VB drives it deep.

[loogie 115]

I was going to mention that a DUI isn't a felony, but then I saw the black part. Nevermind.

[ShakeZuma 585]

I think it's very obvious the second example is very very wrong. But where is the line drawn?

one. you draw the line at one. day old. having sex with your child in the room is fuckall weird. god damn.

yeah, i'm sure his show has its moments. but one of my friends was playing his stand-up during a car-ride. it was brutally unfunny. obviously it ended up in argument that could only be settled with arm wrestling. i went OVER THE TOP and was victorious.

Also, he is black.

really surprised he didn't sue the company for discrimination. seems like that would be super easy to do. hell I think in california all you have to do is fill out a form that says you're black and you get a million right off the bat.huh. so I only quoted guapo. that's odd.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

dude looks like a crab or something.

So...who here has personal sex tapes at home?

more interesting questions are - who doesn't and why? or who does but the wife doesn't know? or who has someone else's sextapes (celebrity not included)?

Correct! Iphonenkinder and Frautotenkinder are me.

I never noticed you had two names. I'm observant.

he was a little guy though. no worries there. I was bigger than the girl though, so there's still opportunity!

go buy a boat with some of your dicktowel money and you'll be all set.

Rape isn't about Sex. It's about something much, much better.

wow, now we have two rape jokes to give loogie credit for.

you're doing it wrong.

yeah but he's doing it all the time, so there's that.

FINALLY! Kinder should have been posting in here for the last year.

I think you mean kinder's wife.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

seems to me that if you quit your job when your wife is pregnant, and you know you cant be hired anywhere else, you deserve what you get.

Agreed, he deserves to be black.

i tee it up; VB drives it deep.

I was going to mention that a DUI isn't a felony, but then I saw the black part. Nevermind.

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

one. you draw the line at one. day old. having sex with your child in the room is fuckall weird. god damn.

What if it's not your kid?