I Called In Sick Today

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

What if it's not your kid?

ah HA!

[timwakefield 68]

7 awesome car chases on videoA couple of them are disappointing because they don't actually have the video, but a lot of them are amazing. #3 is my favorite, just because it's so straight out of a movie.

[vbnautilus 48]

I think you mean kinder's wife.

I think you mean kinder's mom.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I think you mean kinder's mom.

i don't think so. i don't speak german (but i know what Kinder mean, thanks chocolate eggs!) but doesn't Frau mean Mrs?

[vbnautilus 48]

i don't think so. i don't speak german (but i know what Kinder mean, thanks chocolate eggs!) but doesn't Frau mean Mrs?

pretty sure kinder is kids, as in kindergarten... so I don't see who kinder's wife would be. frau toten kinder = Mrs. Dead Childrenbut she's probably referencing thishttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frau_Totenkinderedit: guess you meant Totenkinder's wife

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

pretty sure kinder is kids, as in kindergarten... so I don't see who kinder's wife would be. frau toten kinder = Mrs. Dead Childrenbut she's probably referencing thishttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frau_Totenkinderedit: guess you meant Totenkinder's wife

oh i misread the middle one (Hi SJ!) and thought it was Wife to Children.EDIT which is kinda creepy too.

[speedz99 145]

On about the 4th date we were hanging at my house alone and she went through the video collection and found porn... Shit more later...

Come on!

dude looks like a crab or something.

Look at me! I'm Dr. Zoidberg, homeowner!

[speedz99 145]

Well this is by far the earliest I've ever chosen a Halloween costume.Except, you know, better than that.

[timwakefield 68]

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Look at me! I'm Dr. Zoidberg, homeowner!

There you go! Couldn't quite place it...

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

huh. so I only quoted guapo. that's odd.

bite my bird.in other newsi'm growing a beard. honestly, its coming in a little light in spots and a little blond in the mustache. so i'll be looking more and more like a pedophile every day.

[frautotenkinder 1,025]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frau_Totenkinder

This.I like the character, and I wanted a screen name that implied I'm older (30's, but my soul is leathuh) and female.

[Napa Lite 3,278]

I had to give up on no-shave November when it became clear there is a distinct gap between my sideburns and facial hair. Quite frankly I looked rediculous. Still haven't given up on the goatee though. That's still very patchy. Hoping it will become something respectable so i can start looking at least 16.

[Napa Lite 3,278]

Was I out of like today when I asked the lady who puts on the condiments on your sub to fix the cheese so that it was tessellated? Bitches looked at me like I told her that I wanted a new sandwhich. Good thing they make that shit in front of you otherwise she def woulda ****ed with it.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

I had to give up on no-shave November when it became clear there is a distinct gap between my sideburns and facial hair. Quite frankly I looked rediculous. Still haven't given up on the goatee though. That's still very patchy. Hoping it will become something respectable so i can start looking at least 16.

i hear that brother. i'm just hopng the beard will distract the eye from my receding hair line. its like france in world war two up there this past year.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Ya I know how you feel. I was up by 30 points heading into last nights game in both of my fantasy football leagues, and both my opponents had Vick. Lost by 30 in both.

Even though I knew you were kidding, I still made the UtterContemptFace. I really wish there had been a camera on me last night. The first thing I saw when I walked into the bar was the DeSean Jackson nonsense. 5 minutes later my waitress -- she waits on these guys, friends of mine, every week and knows them quite well -- told me I looked like Kirk Cameron. For some reason my response was an immediate, "Bitch does this look like some Kirk Cameron type shit to you?" (Points to hair.) "I keep my lettuce tight. I'm not charming, and I am not some loveable scamp. God damn. Kirk Cameron? Really? You look like the daughter from Step-by-Step, and not the one who wanted to be a model."That was the least inappropriate thing I said in 3 hours.

[Southern Buddhist 1]

interesting reading for a certain someone here"The man who writes your students' papers tells his story"

I saw that, and all 300-some-odd comments. Not one of them mentioned the completely unethical practice of charging undergrads full price, using grad students to teach them, paying us a rate not much over poverty level, and pocketing the difference. One poster called the author's $66,000 a year "paltry." I wonder how much her research assistant makes. Actually, I don't wonder, I know -- it's most likely about $15,000.Another thing that not one person mentioned: while all the tenured professors who commented were ranting about ethics and 'paltry' salaries, all the grad students who posted said, "Is he hiring?" And believe me, they were not kidding. The professors on the site were apparently just willfully blind to those couple dozen "is he hiring?" comments. Even adjuncts were asking it.I have a paper for Professor Badass coming due next week. He expects it to be "publishable," and expects us to find journals to which we can submit it. We also have to do a presentation on it. Instructions: dress as though you were interviewing for a tenure-track position. Present as though you were presenting at a conference.This is my first semester back at school in twenty years, and first-semester masters' students do not get published. Last night I dreamed I was doing my presentation and the words on the screen started scrolling and spiraling wildly, leading to other students complaining that they couldn't read it and Professor Badass intoning, "You fail." [by the way, I've already dreamed that he was accusing me of hurting kittens. Nobody really believed I did (no kittens were harmed in the making of the dream), but it was some kind of ritualized sadistic grad school test of my spirit.]Suffice it to say, this is not the time of year I want to read something that makes me (more) cynical and bitter about the whole institution.However, meh... I've got a 4.0 GPA going and he actually closed a conference with me by commenting that of all the students in class, he thought I was the one most likely to actually get a publication out of this project. So there's that.

Personally I liked Shit More Later 5 the best.

This is alleged to be John Mayer's special kink.

[AmScray 355]

I'd like to say thank you to Joomla 1.5 for being there when I need you.Thank you, Joomla 1.5. You're the best.I'd also like to say thanks to the episode of Differn't Strokes that's playing on MeTV right now- the one where Kimberly's friend gets pregnant but they first think it's really Kimberly due to ironic miscommunication.Also, thanks to the little scissors on the Swiss Army Knife. You've been trimming my facial hair and opening recalcitrant packs of Beef Jerkey for a long time now and really, you just don't get thanked enough. The toothpick and the little ball-point pen, too. Matter of fact, the entire portfolio of in-handle afterthought tools the Swiss Army Officers Champion provides us. The toothpick, the tweezers, the little ball point pen and the needle hidden under the corkscrew.

[vbnautilus 48]

I'd like to say thank you to Joomla 1.5 for being there when I need you.Thank you, Joomla 1.5. You're the best.

Real men write all their code from scratch.

[AmScray 355]

Real men write all their code from scratch.

No, that's why god gave us Asians- so the real men can focus on creativity, business strategies and winning the game while we pay them pocket change to do the tedious bullshit.

[strategy 4]

I saw that, and all 300-some-odd comments. Not one of them mentioned the completely unethical practice of charging undergrads full price, using grad students to teach them, paying us a rate not much over poverty level, and pocketing the difference. One poster called the author's $66,000 a year "paltry." I wonder how much her research assistant makes. Actually, I don't wonder, I know -- it's most likely about $15,000.

it makes me happy, thinking about how uneasy it must make these professors to read about this man.

[brvheart 1,752]

I saw that, and all 300-some-odd comments. Not one of them mentioned the completely unethical practice of charging undergrads full price, using grad students to teach them, paying us a rate not much over poverty level, and pocketing the difference. One poster called the author's $66,000 a year "paltry." I wonder how much her research assistant makes. Actually, I don't wonder, I know -- it's most likely about $15,000.Another thing that not one person mentioned: while all the tenured professors who commented were ranting about ethics and 'paltry' salaries, all the grad students who posted said, "Is he hiring?" And believe me, they were not kidding. The professors on the site were apparently just willfully blind to those couple dozen "is he hiring?" comments. Even adjuncts were asking it.I have a paper for Professor Badass coming due next week. He expects it to be "publishable," and expects us to find journals to which we can submit it. We also have to do a presentation on it. Instructions: dress as though you were interviewing for a tenure-track position. Present as though you were presenting at a conference.This is my first semester back at school in twenty years, and first-semester masters' students do not get published. Last night I dreamed I was doing my presentation and the words on the screen started scrolling and spiraling wildly, leading to other students complaining that they couldn't read it and Professor Badass intoning, "You fail." [by the way, I've already dreamed that he was accusing me of hurting kittens. Nobody really believed I did (no kittens were harmed in the making of the dream), but it was some kind of ritualized sadistic grad school test of my spirit.]Suffice it to say, this is not the time of year I want to read something that makes me (more) cynical and bitter about the whole institution.

What site did you work for? I need to hire you to write me a better resume. Also, can you go to my interviews dressed as a 6'6" man?

[LongLiveYorke 38]

No, that's why god gave us Asians- so the real men can focus on creativity, business strategies and winning the game while we pay them pocket change to do the tedious bullshit.

To many, building a website or an intricate piece of code is what building furniture and restoring antiques is to you.

[ShakeZuma 585]

What if it's not your kid?

how hot is this kid?

You look like the daughter from Step-by-Step, and not the one who wanted to be a model."

fuck introduce me. I was in love with that girl when I was a kid. I always liked the weird ones. stephanie tanner was my first future ex wife. (then she started doing meth. my feelings haven't changed.)

[CaneBrain 95]

stephanie tanner was my first future ex wife. (then she started doing meth. my feelings haven't changed.)

I also had a huge thing for Steph as a child. If you watch the Bob Saget roast, she looks pretty good/normal. Amazingly, even with meth, she is still only the third most ****ed up of the Tanner daughters....