I Called In Sick Today

[brvheart 1,752]

Update: She bit my ear. Nobody loves me. Unless it was a sexual thing, in which case someone loves me a little too much. I think she was just playing though...I need a haircut, so my hair is over my ears a bit, and she likes playing with hair. Not that any of you (except maybe strat) care.Update 2: She's now lying down in my lap...I'm feeling the love again.

I'm a cat guy too... don't forget. I think I have a half-picture of Isabella on my facebook page.

To start this thread.

That thread is always funny.

the part where you bring home a random chick and she comes into your house and you have a monstrosity of cat towers lining your living room like the New York skyline, littered with cats.Not goodNot good at all

I'm still laughing at this. This thread is on fire again now that everyone came home.

[Sickinfo2 291]

As requested I made a post in general a few minutes ago.... Im too tired to katsup so you guys be extra funny for tomorrows reading

[brvheart 1,752]

didn't you used to own/work on a camaro produced in the 1960's? I thought anyone that had an old muscle type car had to be able to maintain those things.Hell, I can check the oil. Speaking of which, I gotta do that. I've hit the 3k miles that the guys left me in sticker form after my last oil change, but I usually go 5k.

5k is totally fine these days, especially if your car is a 2004 or newer. Don't go more than 7ish though, and synthetic is best.

That works...how about next month?Ooh, sorry, next month is no good for me. Oh well, we tried.

[Laughing very hard]

Speaking of SpeedzMom, she printed out the instructions for the mustache hat and is going to make it for me this week. I gave some good jewguilt to get that one done.Speedz: Hey, can you crochet this for me?SM: That's ridiculous.Speedz: I'm just saying, I could have gone to Cornell where I would have been in one large building during the day, instead of Tufts where I'll have to walk between buildings all winter long. I need my face to be covered.SM: What color?

[Laughing harder]

I seem to have underestimated the amount of booze that I've been throwing in my glasses of crystal light for the past few hours. Long story...living at home isn't go well so far. Thank brvheart's God I've only got a month of this to deal with. Anyways, I'm much drunker than expected.

That's a big 'G' to you.

Did I miss something? I though you lived in the basement with some strippers or something like that?

He moved out like 3 weeks ago... and it was only one stripper. He's going to start dating the stripper friend.

Lolli

who?

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

who?

the times, they are a changin'

[LadyGrey 6]

Update: She bit my ear. Nobody loves me. Unless it was a sexual thing, in which case someone loves me a little too much. I think she was just playing though...I need a haircut, so my hair is over my ears a bit, and she likes playing with hair. Not that any of you (except maybe strat) care.Update 2: She's now lying down in my lap...I'm feeling the love again.

I don't believe I've been formally introduced to this 'Cheeto' - age, gender, favourite colour, hobbies, favourite song, and several photos, please.

Chicks dig guys that like cats. Especially vet school chicks. It's true...I read it somewhere sometime.

It's a true fact.

LADY GREY! Do they?

No.Nikki - can't remember the name of the cream of the top of my head, but it used to be used to treat warts. It basically kind of burns the skin and it will look horrible for ages so when she is teaching she'll probably have to cover it up with gauze and maybe a scarf. If that doesn't work they'll cut it out and she'll have a big scar on her collarbone (where the cancer is). The cancer she has is basal cell carcinoma. She'll have to avoid the sun for the rest of her life, and when she is in the sun she'll have to wear lots of UV protection etc.

[brvheart 1,752]

Oh maaaaaan, I am the biggest loser ever.

[Sal Paradise 57]

Which one? I have a couple? I think I know which one you're mentioning, and if it's the one I'm thinking, I'm working on stuff with that. Pg-13 pics have been sent by her, so far.

well that must be nice. I can barely get a girl to return a text, even if it's to tell me to leave her alone, so pics must be nice.

Lolli is Connie. "It was my fault!"

haha.ever do it with tv shows? I was trying to think yesterday about members of the thread being characters off of Rescue Me. don't know how many people watch that here but I think it would be interesting as well.

[LadyGrey 6]

ever do it with tv shows? I was trying to think yesterday about members of the thread being characters off of Rescue Me. don't know how many people watch that here but I think it would be interesting as well.

I was thinking about Arrested Development earlier. Ron for George Sr with Miss Idaho as Kitty ("Spring Break, wooo!"). Bizzle = Buster obv.

[Tactical Bear 3]

I was thinking about Arrested Development earlier. Ron for George Sr with Miss Idaho as Kitty ("Spring Break, wooo!"). Bizzle = Buster obv.

There's no getting around it: you're Rita.Half the thread is George Michael.

[Tactical Bear 3]

I don't believe I've been formally introduced.

Are you going to be posting semi-regularly, or are you just popping in to say: "What up, faggots?"If you're not sticking around, will you write a "Just because mommy and daddy don't love each other anymore doesn't mean we don't love you" post? Divorce is always hardest on the children.

[Sal Paradise 57]

dawson is definitely gob.

[Nikki_N 17]

Yeah...I discovered this after posting that. Not as expensive as I thought. Sorry, Nikki, I'm sure yours are great too.

This would be the simplest route for you all, but here's the deal. I'm going to finish this first one. I won't wear it, so if it doesn't totally suck (I'll post pics so you can decide), I'm going to give it away. If anyone actually wants it, I'll ship it. If it turns out they are cool enough and more than one person wants one, I'll make them for the cost of the yarn and the shipping. If you want nicer yarn (wool, woolblend, hand dyed, ca$hmere), you would pay the yarn cost. I just like to make stuff, really. These are fast to make. Of course, it's still in my spare time, so I won't guarantee delivery dates unless you have an occasion for which you really need one. I don't suspect this will be a problem as it's Summer.

Nikki - can't remember the name of the cream of the top of my head, but it used to be used to treat warts. It basically kind of burns the skin and it will look horrible for ages so when she is teaching she'll probably have to cover it up with gauze and maybe a scarf. If that doesn't work they'll cut it out and she'll have a big scar on her collarbone (where the cancer is). The cancer she has is basal cell carcinoma. She'll have to avoid the sun for the rest of her life, and when she is in the sun she'll have to wear lots of UV protection etc.

Yikes. Both options sound horribly unpleasant. GL to your friend!

I like this shirt!

[LadyGrey 6]

There's no getting around it: you're Rita.

Nah, I'm Ice: a badass black bounty hunter and totally ripped.

[brvheart 1,752]

I think I'll build something very much like this.

Did anyone else find this part of that article really funny?

Materials: * (3) 2x4s (actually 1.5" x 3.5" from Home Depot)

As if Home Depot is running a nationwide scam on everyone? haha. Beans? Sal? amirite?

[brvheart 1,752]

Half the thread is George Michael.

No way. Napa has that locked up by a mile.

[Sal Paradise 57]

Did anyone else find this part of that article really funny? As if Home Depot is running a nationwide scam on everyone? haha. Beans? Sal? amirite?

yeah that really stood out too. hey, welcome to 1950 (or whenever it was they went to those measurements) buddy.

[LadyGrey 6]

Are you going to be posting semi-regularly, or are you just popping in to say: "What up, faggots?"If you're not sticking around, will you write a "Just because mommy and daddy don't love each other anymore doesn't mean we don't love you" post? Divorce is always hardest on the children.

Sorry, can't be bothered with that. If you want some insight into a dysfunctional relationship, take a gander at these letters. They were bought at the estate sale of the son of the couple. Poor guy read these letters written by his mother to his father:That's just a sample. Juicier ones here: http://www.squareamerica.com/f2.htm

[Tactical Bear 3]

This would be the simplest route for you all, but here's the deal. I'm going to finish this first one. I won't wear it, so if it doesn't totally suck (I'll post pics so you can decide), I'm going to give it away. If anyone actually wants it, I'll ship it. If it turns out they are cool enough and more than one person wants one, I'll make them for the cost of the yarn and the shipping. If you want nicer yarn (wool, woolblend, hand dyed, ca$hmere), you would pay the yarn cost. I just like to make stuff, really. These are fast to make. Of course, it's still in my spare time, so I won't guarantee delivery dates unless you have an occasion for which you really need one. I don't suspect this will be a problem as it's Summer.

Ship ship ships hpsh is hsipshiopships shiop.Please. I will pay delivery costs. In return, I will owe you one favor that you will almost certainly never redeem, and, if you do try, I will weasel out of it. That is how I show I care.

Nah, I'm Ice: a badass black bounty hunter and totally ripped.

With a heart of gold. Somebody (Shake?) just said that Dawson was GOB, and I had that thought as well. I have imagined Dawson's GIL as Marta on a few occasions. Hetero High Five!

No way. Napa has that locked up by a mile.

Perhaps. Most people here are some combination of George Michael and Buster, with maybe a dash of GOB thrown in. This China project (actually, two projects) is way out of my depth. During out first meeting yesterday afternoon, we discussed:1) Renting office space at a nearby technical university. 2) Hiring a web designer and a systems administrator within 3 months.3) Setting up meetings with Venture Capitalists.4) Familiarizing ourselves with Chinese/American import/export laws and trade restrictions. 5) Establishing a contact and liasing with at least one Chinese bank and one American bank, each of which has the infrastructure in place to handle international trade.6) Setting up a reliable escrow system.7) Contracting with a supply chain and logistics expert in the short term, before we have to hire one permanently. (I am going to make my father do it. I think he is pretty much done with Delphi. He is an expert and has plenty of contacts overseas, including a few in China.)8) Other stuff that I didn't even understand.When I heard "Venture Capital," I got pretty freaked out. Dude, do you see how I'm dressed? I'm wearing a t-shirt that is TWELVE YEARS OLD. The initial funding is going to be provided by my partner's father-in-law. She and her new-husband want me to come to dinner sometime this week, since her father-in-law wants to get to know the white boy spending his money. She mentioned the name of a nice restaurant, and the dinner will be attended by: Partner + Husband, Father-in-Law + Wife, Wang + ???. I have to bring a woman, right? I haven't talked to Maggie in a while, but she can handle herself, so I might beg her to come with me. "Look, I promise I won't try to sleep with you, but I need somebody to make me appear straight." Also, during the meeting, my Chinese Partner and Chinese Professor would occasionally talk in ching-chong gobbledy-gook language, almost certainly about me. I really want to know what they were saying. Prof: "Is dinner with the American wise?"Girl: "I have no choice."Prof: "Will he bring shame to your family?"Girl: "Perhaps. He is brash, like John Wayne, and odd, like Seth Rogan."Prof: "His involvement is a necessity. I will keep him under control. Do not jeopardize the project."Oh, I almost forgot. At the end of the meeting, after the professor left, the Chinese Girl and I were discussing our basic Getting Started plan, and getting to know each other. She's a good looking woman, and if she weren't married, I'd definitely hit it. She's very Chinese, and her command of English is probably a 4/10, so I had to talk slower than I normally would, and speak plainly and without metaphor. She seemed slightly uncomfortable around me. As we were leaving, I reached into my back pocket to grab some gum.Wang: (pulls out gum) "Want some?"Girl: "Uh, no. Thank. You."Wang: "Alright, well, just talk to your fath-"Girl: (points to floor, frowns) "You dropped, uh, something."Apparently as I was getting my gum out, I also managed to pull out a condom, which then fell onto the ground, and into her sightline. I don't know if she knew what it was, since I grabbed it up real quick, but that one might be easy to misinterpret...

[Nikki_N 17]

Why wasn't the condom in a wallet, Wang? Just a condom and gum in your back pocket?

[Nikki_N 17]

It's a little big on me. I altered the pattern to make it a bit wider through the face and a couple of rows longer in the back to cover the neck better. The beard will spread out a bit if you have a wider head than I.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

Brvheart is Enzo. The baker. "I am Enzo. The Baker. Do you remember me? I stay here to help you. For your fasha, for your fasha." Beans is Clemenza. "The gun'll be there." That might seem counter-intuitive at first, but hear me out. I bet 90+% of the people who post here regularly, if their lives depended on it, would pick Beans to get a job done. Even if I didn't know what the job was, I'd instantly trust Beansie with it before anyone else, maybe even myself. Clemenza gets a lot of crap for being the fat guy, but he was the most underrated member of the family. The gun was there. He always knew the answer, be it cooking, guns, whatever; he was ultra-reliable; and he kept everybody loose. "Mikey, why don't you tell that nice girl you love her? I love you with all-a my heart, if I don't see-a you again soon, I'm-a gonna die." Beans, like Clemenza, is the uncle you never take for granted, even though it seems like, eventually, you'd have to. Lolli is Connie. "It was my fault!"Lady Grey is Don Zaluchi. "In my city, we would keep the traffic in the dark people, the coloreds. They're animals anyway, so let them lose their souls."

These are all very good. You've obviously put more thought into this than I have. And you do sound like Tom...Don Corleone: You're not too tired, are you, Tom? Tom Hagen: No. I slept on the plane. I've got the Sollozzo notes right here. Sollozzo is known as the Turk. He's supposed to be very good with a knife but only in matters of business or of some sort of reasonable complaint. His business is narcotics. He has the fields in Turkey where they grow the poppy. In Sicily he has the plant to process it into heroin. He needs cash and he needs protection from the police for which he gives a piece of the action, I couldn't find out how much. The Tattalglia Family is behind him here in New York so they have to be in it for something. Don Corleone: What about his prison record? Tom Hagen: Two terms. One in Italy and one here. He's known as a top narcotics man. Don Corleone: Santino, what do you think? Sonny: There's a lot of money in that white powder. Don Corleone: Tom? Tom Hagen: Well, I say yes. There's more money potential in narcotics than anything else we're looking at. Now, if we don't get into it somebody else will. Maybe one of the 5 Families maybe all of them and with the money they earn they'll be able to buy more police and political power. Then they come after us. Right now we have the unions and we have the gambling and those are the best things to have. But narcotics is a thing on the future. If we don't get a piece of that action we risk everything we have. Not now but ten years from now. This is one of my favorite exchanges in the movie:Michael: Luca Brasi held a gun to his head, and my father assured him that either his brains or his signature would be on the contract. Kay Adams: ... Michael: ...That's a true story. I love that part at the end. Hmm, I see you are horrified at what I have just shared with you. Well let me assure you that I didn't make that up.

I've been mostly ignoring the beard hat discussion, but this is hilarious. Now I have to go back and see where this started.

[mk 11]

El G: wait is this a SNL sketch or a runthemover conversation with himself?Lorne: Exactly

hey wait i think i found a joke

[CaneBrain 95]

I feel like crap and I think I am going to leave the office early today. Should have just called in sick but I want to make a good impression. The partner I am working with basically just told me to finish up a quick assignment and go home.Three weeks until the Bar.....do not need a lingering cold now please.Also, as a scheming-Jewish lawyer, I think I could be a decent Hyman Roth. I always make money for my partners.

[El Guapo 8]

dawson is definitely gob.

In every aspect of my life I am Michael.

"Venture Capital,"

I have met with or spoken to pretty much ever VC company on Sand Hill Road in Palo Alto, so I can give you some pointers on how not to act, if that helps.

[Nikki_N 17]

I feel like crap and I think I am going to leave the office early today. Should have just called in sick but I want to make a good impression. The partner I am working with basically just told me to finish up a quick assignment and go home.Three weeks until the Bar.....do not need a lingering cold now please.Also, as a scheming-Jewish lawyer, I think I could be a decent Hyman Roth. I always make money for my partners.

Hydrate.Do you have a temp? Swine flu??