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I Called In Sick Today


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not that anyone cares, but i got a letter from UMKC today. i was accepted into graduate school in the masters in Criminal Justice and Criminology program. big fucking deal, right? so i'm a wee bit excited. i go downstairs, you know to share the news with him.hey dad, i got into graduate school. (huge smile on my face).HOW YOU GONNA PAY FOR IT?and then i remembered why i hate my dad, and why i feel like nothing i've ever done was good enough. figured i'd tell you guys seeing as you're my only friends. back to self loathing and crying.
"Roll fags in Swope park? Sling rock down on Prospect? Cut out your kidneys to sell on the black market?"I am grumpy Hank today.
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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not that anyone cares, but i got a letter from UMKC today. i was accepted into graduate school in the masters in Criminal Justice and Criminology program. big fucking deal, right? so i'm a wee bit excited. i go downstairs, you know to share the news with him.
****ing narc.
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HOW YOU GONNA PAY FOR IT?
loans. lots of em.Before me, I have what appears to be an insurmountable amount of writing due tomorrow. I have to write 18 more headlines for Envirosax (reusable shopping bags), 8 of which must be of average quality. I also need to write 3 1-min radio spots for different, yet-to-be-chosen products/causes. And if there's time, I need to write copy for 4 La Croix sparkling water ads.My fuel will Canadian Club on the rocks with the occasional scrap hit of dirt weed.
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RE: InterviewI don't think there was anything in there that was complicated except having wbp say "like" in a sentence when he would totally never do that.

Before me, I have what appears to be an insurmountable amount of writing due tomorrow. I have to write 18 more headlines for Envirosax (reusable shopping bags), 8 of which must be of average quality. I also need to write 3 1-min radio spots for different, yet-to-be-chosen products/causes. And if there's time, I need to write copy for 4 La Croix sparkling water ads.My fuel will Canadian Club on the rocks with the occasional scrap hit of dirt weed.
what's a headline? -jimEnvirosax: little pieces of plastic won't get stuck to your handsEnvirosax: men aged 18-30 carrying these will be found 15% more attractive by women over 35 years of age.non jokey one (except for me being an idiot for thinking it's actually somewhat good)Envirosax: it fits under your elbow. you try holding your keys in one hand, your toddler's hand in your other hand and your grocercies without it.
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Before me, I have what appears to be an insurmountable amount of writing due tomorrow. I have to write 18 more headlines for Envirosax (reusable shopping bags), 8 of which must be of average quality.
Envirosax: I've got nothing. Good thing I got out of marketing.
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Congrats?
thanks?
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoonLittle boy blue and the man on the moon...
its the cornell of kansas city, you know.
****ing narc.
i'm not gonna be a cop.
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Went to college with Miss America runner-up, that is before I got thrown out. She was/is pretty hot. The only problem is, everyone is posting on Facebook how proud they were of her for choosing the absolute wrong time to be anti-gay marriage, when a homo is asking you the question, on national TV and answering the question in the most awkward way possible.

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Went to college with Miss America runner-up, that is before I got thrown out. She was/is pretty hot. The only problem is, everyone is posting on Facebook how proud they were of her for choosing the absolute wrong time to be anti-gay marriage, when a homo is asking you the question, on national TV and answering the question in the most awkward way possible.
Is there such a thing as a paragraph fragment?
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RE: InterviewI don't think there was anything in there that was complicated except having wbp say "like" in a sentence when he would totally never do that.Envirosax: men aged 18-30 carrying these will be found 15% more attractive by women over 35 years of age.
RE: InterviewGood, then. I "got" it. That one is funny, but I don't know what an Envirosax is. It sounds like a musical instrument made out of hemp or something.
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Strat and I went mushroom hunting for morels today. We found lots of little ones, here is one of our finds:April2009003.jpgWe didn't eat them but if we go again we will maybe eat them.
You went mushroom hunting...and didn't even eat them....
Went to college with Miss America runner-up, that is before I got thrown out. She was/is pretty hot. The only problem is, everyone is posting on Facebook how proud they were of her for choosing the absolute wrong time to be anti-gay marriage, when a homo is asking you the question, on national TV and answering the question in the most awkward way possible.
...
Is there such a thing as a paragraph fragment?
There is now.
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You went mushroom hunting...and didn't even eat them.
Well like I said, the ones we got were pretty small and a lot of them had dried out a bit and weren't nice and fresh. We are going to again next time it rains and hopefully get a nicer batch. Then we'll cook that lot. We left the ones we picked with his parents for them to cook.
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Envirosax-For hippies and homos.-Shop with a conscience.-Dark Blue. That's the name of a movie, right? Well, according to a commercial I just watched, now it's a show too, starring the guy from The Practice. I actually liked The Practice until it got all weird.*-Save 1/2,987th of a tree.-Ray Allen is good at shooting basketballs.*-Strong and long, like a good boy...what?*these are not proposed taglines for Envirosax

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Well like I said, the ones we got were pretty small and a lot of them had dried out a bit and weren't nice and fresh. We are going to again next time it rains and hopefully get a nicer batch. Then we'll cook that lot. We left the ones we picked with his parents for them to cook.
That was nice of you to give the mushrooms that weren't good enough for you to his parents.I've actually only had morels a few times, both in French restaurants...and both times they were huge and absolutely incredible, but partially because of the accompanying sauces.
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That was nice of you to give the mushrooms that weren't good enough for you to his parents.I've actually only had morels a few times, both in French restaurants...and both times they were huge and absolutely incredible, but partially because of the accompanying sauces.
I've never had morels, that was part of why we left them with his parents. I didn't think it would be interesting if I explained the full story, but basically I don't know how to clean and cook them, so there was no point taking them with us. His parents have done it before so they can make use of them.
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Envirosax-For hippies and homos.-Shop with a conscience.-Dark Blue. That's the name of a movie, right? Well, according to a commercial I just watched, now it's a show too, starring the guy from The Practice. I actually liked The Practice until it got all weird.*-Save 1/2,987th of a tree.-Ray Allen is good at shooting basketballs.*-Strong and long, like a good boy...what?*these are not proposed taglines for Envirosax
So far, I have...Stop fucking up the environment, you retards.Use our bags or Mother Nature will smother you in your sleep.It matches the other bags under your arms.Carry up to six dead babies comfortably.Guaranteed to make your ass appear slimmer.
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I've never had morels, that was part of why we left them with his parents. I didn't think it would be interesting if I explained the full story, but basically I don't know how to clean and cook them, so there was no point taking them with us. His parents have done it before so they can make use of them.
That's understandable.So...has the super long profile thing run its course yet?
So far, I have...Stop fucking up the environment, you retards.Use our bags or Mother Nature will smother you in your sleep.It matches the other bags under your arms.Carry up to six dead babies comfortably.Guaranteed to make your ass appear slimmer.
Create the illusion that you care.Pay us for a burlap sack with a label.Bitches get stitches.
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Create the illusion that you care.Pay us for a burlap sack with a label.Bitches get stitches.
When your husband complains about the price, put the bag over your head and drop trou.
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That was nice of you to give the mushrooms that weren't good enough for you to his parents.I've actually only had morels a few times, both in French restaurants...and both times they were huge and absolutely incredible, but partially because of the accompanying sauces.
I know you're doing your best to make it sound as ridiculous as possible, but it's actually quite reasonable.and only one of them was borderline edible... the others were a day old at most.seriously though, can you imagine trying to find those in dense brush among leaves of similar color? finding them IS almost all the fun.
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