I Called In Sick Today

[brvheart 1,752]

there were three people in the story? Holy shit

hahaha

[Sickinfo2 291]

yep, me about 20 years ago. loved me some fishing.

I really enjoyed it at one point as well...The thrill died at the same time common sense kicked in

You're a Facebook homo.

I was one drunk sonofabitch when that was posted

I am never coming back here again.

Where do I e-mail the caricatures that youll miss?

Oh yeah....my wife just said we need the backside shot.

If only I had a dime for every time that was said at an army meet....

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I was one drunk sonofabitch when that was posted

I'll go out on a limb and assume all of that is plausible and doable.

[jeff_536 3]

I got home three days ago. I just finished catching up now.chatty motherfuckers.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I got home three days ago. I just finished catching up now.chatty motherfuckers.

yeah, nothing interesting either, except ElG's shitting story

[strategy 4]

And I'm funny in real life. Just ask me and the people I over tip and buy drinks and dinners for.

who needs money when you have friends

What do you think, maybe?(I don't think I used that speedz-ism right either.)

I think you did it okay

[Sal Paradise 57]

nationalism

[strategy 4]

nationalism

that guy is such an idiot.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Just got a call from Jess. She was planning on going out with some friends, so she said she'd probably "just stop by to see me at work" tomorrow. So I went to a mostly-black stripclub with some of my boys. Ring, ring, ring.Wang: "What up, boo?"Jess: "Hey where are you?"Wang: (says the name of a bar)Jess: "Oh I don't know what that is. Wanna hang out?"Wang: "Uh, sure. Want us to meet up with you guys?" Jess: "When are you going to be home?"Wang: "I dunno. Whenever, I gu-"Jess: "Want to meet me there around 1?" Wang: "Sure. My place is probably a mess. Want me to grab a movie or something?"Jess: "I'm kinda drunk."Wang: "Okay."Jess: "Not like totally wasted but pretty buzzed."Wang: "Okay."Jess: "Okay see you in a while honey."Jess: "I'm dressed like a slut."Wang: "...okay."Jess: "Are you dressed up?"Wang: (lying) "I'm... sure. I guess."Jess: "Good! See ya."I got home a few minutes ago, and "one" Jess time is closer to 1:30, so I took a picture of myself, wearing my favorite shirt. It's awesome, and it's definitely my #1 look when I go to the bar. Jess will be... unhappy. I do not care; I am not changing. Best. Shirt. Ever. Jess is effing trashed, and she's coming over dressed like a whore. This should be interesting (for me, not you guys).Wang

[strategy 4]

so wang probably finished pounding that about an hour ago I'd say

[brvheart 1,752]

Wang sure loves to take pictures of himself in the bathroom.

[Sal Paradise 57]

jesus christ gevalia makes a damn fine cup of coffeeand I can't imagine things went very well with jess. she was wasted, so she probably had to pee, and since wang apparently leaves the toilet seat up I'd imagine she fell in. and since he failed to replenish the toilet paper, she couldn't dry off properly. yeah, she probably got pretty pissed about that.

[Sickinfo2 291]

I'll go out on a limb and assume all of that is plausible and doable.

Dont venture out there too far....

he failed to replenish the toilet paper

Ive been monitoring that situation as well...

[Sickinfo2 291]

2 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 1 Anonymous Users)1 Members: Sickinfo2So today is flat and shed door fixin day, huh sal?

[Sal Paradise 57]

shed door already fixed yesterday evening! pretay, pretay proud of that actually.going out to look at the flat here in a bit, but I'm starting to think I might not be able to fix it. I seriously doubt it's a hole in the tire since I hadn't run over anything. and since the tires are old as balls, I think it's more likely that the tire just separated from the rim or whatever. I'll look at it, but the best solution is probably gonna be to get the local place to come pick it up, service it, and put all new tires on it. needs new tires pretty badly anyways. gonna be a good two hundred bucks though, which sucks. that's money I've been hoping to spend on clearance jeans and totally sweet boardshorts when I go to mb in a week. damn it.

[Sickinfo2 291]

going out to look at the flat here in a bit, but I'm starting to think I might not be able to fix it.

Its odd how things happen surrounding this thread...The very next day after you posed the tire question, I fixed a flat on a cart in the warehouse instead of doing the smart thing and buying a new one It should have been a simple five minute task instead of the hour long nightmare it turned into...Go back and re-read my warning about breaking down a tire to patch a tubeNext time Ill heed my own adviceHopefully the kid taking care of my place has let the lawn turn into a hayfield and I can drink and mow for three days straight when I get home tomorrow

[CindyLou 11]

I ain't easy and I ain't your kid. You take sorry and shove it up your ass.I hope you crossed me out because you knew I'd almost never open this thread. I saw the guy below me posted and I decided to read it...

It was a post production edit. Once WageSlave got the reference I stuck him in the post.But I left you in there so you would know you're the go-to guy when it comes to Tombstone references.<-------------------------->When's the earliest we can expect Wang back here for updates? I don't have all day.Well, I do have all day sadly, but I'm impatient.

[Tactical Bear 3]

It took me 2 and 1/2 pages of catching up before I finally got to a good post. Thank you, El Guapo.1. Who and why did you promise to do that? 2. You are in annoyingly good shape.3. The name of your picture is the funniest thing about said picture.4. You should try the cucumber-melon baby powder.I'm giddy. This is me, being giddy.

2) I use a Nautilus machine for 30 minutes a week and haven't jogged or run in 4 years at least. I have bad genes, too. I'll post a picture of myself from when I was 18 (Freshman year!), and you can see halfway-fat Derek.3) Thank you. The moment I posted it, I thought of like 10 better titles. I was so mad.4) I have used it. I purchased it on your recommendation, and enjoyed it. There's a bottle in the bathroom right now.

I think we all know that this is where those pictures belong.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never met a single one of you motherfuckers in real life, and it's better than even-money that never changes.

Made my partner spit out his wine a bit, especially because she had no idea what I was talking about. The what put it over the top.

Just wanted to validate. The real move is to make fun of these people to their faces such that they DO know you're doing it, and still try to weasel your way out of it."Seriously though, I mean: who would ever hire an ugly nanny? If there's one thing that simply MUST have a high correlation with mothering skills, it's raw, physical attractiveness. I mean, look at you. You're gorgeous, and look at all the time and effort you've spent finding the perfect person on whom to pawn off your children. Am I right? Seriously, look at all the Susan Smith moms. Aren't they all normal-looking at best? Give me an aloof, chain-smoking, ultra-hot French chick any day and I wouldn't think about my kids twice while I'm on a weekend golf junket...""Haha, I'm just playing. Seriously? It sounds like a good agency. Tell me more, we've been thinking about getting an au pair."

Where do I e-mail the caricatures that youll miss?

ShimmeringWang@clownpenis.fartShimmeringWang@gmail.com(Hint: one is fake)

Wang sure loves to take pictures of himself in the bathroom.

There is only one mirror in the house, and I don't have the time nor the inclination to explain this nonsense to somebody else and have him operate the camera.

and I can't imagine things went very well with jess. she was wasted, so she probably had to pee, and since wang apparently leaves the toilet seat up I'd imagine she fell in. and since he failed to replenish the toilet paper, she couldn't dry off properly. yeah, she probably got pretty pissed about that.

I spent a little time tidying up before she came over. I like there to be a little time-crunch. Kinda gets the blood pumping.

[Dawson Leery 12]

Cats have many benefits that justify the price. To name a few: affection, companionship, good listeners, cuddly, proven to be good for human health, entertaining, aesthetically pleasing.

And you can kick them

Facebook tells me that my younger sister has a new boyfriend. Based on pictures, I do not approve. Much like any of her other past boyfriends. I don't even get along that great with my sister and I still feel like I should kick these kids asses. Sidenote: 3 hours of sleep last night and probably close to the same tonight, but no adderall this time. Just Redbull.

(poking her as we speak)

my portfolio was up over 5% today before stocks tanked. I somehow managed to sell at the peak despite operating on a 20 minute delay.

You have a portfolio? You're not spending enough money on beer and trying to get laid

oh bizzle, you haven't been paying attention. the massive holes in my roof allow for plenty of airflow, making my house impenetrable to tornadoes and hurricanes. costs me a ton in paperweights though.

Good stuff

WE HAVE RULES

You know how I know that I've totally wasted a week?I just watched Cruel Intentions 2: Manchester Prepthe real sad part, you ask? I was watching it at 2am last night, got tired, tivoed the rest, got up, went out, grabbed some lunch, came back and watched the last hour of it. The real kicker? It was boner-worthy. The real REAL scary part, I think this is the 2nd time I've watched it.If someone killed me, they'd probably be doing me a favor.

Well worth it for these kinds of posts (not the killing you part, the watching stupidass movies part)

Leap years ahead of Indiana still.

Easy brah, you know Dawson's from IndianaI just got a phone call to wake up all my roommates for day drinking...it's 11 am on a non-holiday, I think this girl might be cooler than I am actually (THIS IS THE GIRL I TOLD YOU ABOUT WITH THE DOG, REMEMBER?)

[strategy's_touch 0]

my portfolio is fake. because it is fake, I think I stumbled into some call options on BAC later this month @ $8. I am not sure yet. I feel obligated to continue playing with this even though it is for a class grade.

[hank213 1,823]

my portfolio is fake. because it is fake, I think I stumbled into some call options on BAC later this month @ $8. I am not sure yet. I feel obligated to continue playing with this even though it is for a class grade.

Next thing you know he's playing poker for play chips.

[pezeveng 207]

this is a great place to hide this site. Worth a look imo. Not work safe, I love girls in the HOF especially #175enjoyhttp://guesshermuff.blogspot.com/

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

this is a great place to hide this site. Worth a look imo. Not work safe, I love girls in the HOF especially #175enjoyhttp://guesshermuff.blogspot.com/

winner for THE most arbitrary yet awesome post of 2009

[CindyLou 11]

I'll post a picture of myself from when I was 18 (Freshman year!).I spent a little time tidying up before she came over. I like there to be a little time-crunch. Kinda gets the blood pumping.

Go on...edit:

winner for THE most arbitrary yet awesome post of 2009

Wow.

[brvheart 1,752]

2) I use a Nautilus machine for 30 minutes a week and haven't jogged or run in 4 years at least. I have bad genes, too. I'll post a picture of myself from when I was 18 (Freshman year!), and you can see halfway-fat Derek.3) Thank you. The moment I posted it, I thought of like 10 better titles. I was so mad.4) I have used it. I purchased it on your recommendation, and enjoyed it. There's a bottle in the bathroom right now.Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never met a single one of you motherfuckers in real life, and it's better than even-money that never changes.Just wanted to validate. The real move is to make fun of these people to their faces such that they DO know you're doing it, and still try to weasel your way out of it."Seriously though, I mean: who would ever hire an ugly nanny? If there's one thing that simply MUST have a high correlation with mothering skills, it's raw, physical attractiveness. I mean, look at you. You're gorgeous, and look at all the time and effort you've spent finding the perfect person on whom to pawn off your children. Am I right? Seriously, look at all the Susan Smith moms. Aren't they all normal-looking at best? Give me an aloof, chain-smoking, ultra-hot French chick any day and I wouldn't think about my kids twice while I'm on a weekend golf junket...""Haha, I'm just playing. Seriously? It sounds like a good agency. Tell me more, we've been thinking about getting an au pair."ShimmeringWang@clownpenis.fartShimmeringWang@gmail.com(Hint: one is fake)There is only one mirror in the house, and I don't have the time nor the inclination to explain this nonsense to somebody else and have him operate the camera.I spent a little time tidying up before she came over. I like there to be a little time-crunch. Kinda gets the blood pumping.

Thanks for the JESS UPDATE!