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I Called In Sick Today


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Sure - at least you don't have the "Kansas Alum" excuse this year if your picks tank.Does Cal beat Maryland in the first round?
To be fair, his picks didn't tank, he just ran into a pretty dominant bracket filled out by yours truly. You know, I've beaten Bizzle's ass handily a few times, so I think I have to be in again this year. Steve still owes me money from fantasy football. Steve, I wish to use all remaining FF funds to purchase brackets for myself, CindyLou, and LadyGrey. That will be my Secret Santa gift to Cindy, and Speedz's to LadyGrey, divided evenly among the three of us. For example, if we do the Yahoo! Army bracket, we would each get 5 brackets apiece for 75 bucks. I'll use anything left over to enter us into another pool, or pay part of some other fantasy league.Somebody tell me what is going on and I am in. I just checked my NCAA futures spreadsheet, and I have RISKED about 9K on NCAA futures so far this year. The climax was last night when I created an account at a random book using my name and a friend's at 6AM, funded the accounts using my bank card and his mother's, just so I could hit West Va. for the max (twice) to come out of the Midwest, and then did the same thing again this morning until they finally dropped the line. Anyway, I briefly considered using the bracket to hedge my positions, but: I ain't no faggot.Wang
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Derek's Past, Part IFreshman year, this girl who lived nextdoor to a friend of mine in one of the all-girls dorms on Michigan's campus (Betsy Barbour) decided she was interested in me for some reason. I think it was because I was always one of the in-charge guys in our group. If a tab had to be paid, I got everyone's attention, split the bill, and collected the money. If there was an emergency, I coordinated. If it was time to roll out, I was the one who rounded up the troops and moved people out the door. I always made the introductions and made the new people feel at home. That kind of stuff. This girl was, apparently, attracted to that part of me.So my friend (I am changing all names to protect the innocent, as most of the people in this story work for serious organizations, or, in one player's case, have serious and realizable political ambitions) Katie -- very attractive, wicked smart -- comes up to me at a party one night, and says, "I've got a girl for you."Well: awesome. Jackie lived next door to Katie, and though I'd never met her, she'd seen me around, at a few parties or hanging out with Katie. "She thinks you're cute. I gave her your number, and this is hers."I never called or anything, but just told Katie to bring Jackie by on Thursday when we inevitably started drinking in my dorm room. It's me, Adam (one of my roommates), and Kevin, plus probably 2 other dudes and a girl, getting bombed in my room. I started drinking casually after my last class of the week at like 6, and by the time Katie rolls in with Jackie at 10ish, I'm in my comfort zone, about 10-12 Keystone Lights in.I told my friends -- specifically Kevin, since his love of novelty is surpassed only by his ability to ruin everything in the most awesome way possible -- that Katie was bringing a random girl by, that I am probably supposed to hit on her, and to keep their behavior above the 25th percentile. When Jackie walks in, I am... surprised. She's good looking, and has.... wow, she had a body. She was a semi-serious dancer (this is not the same girl that was in town recently; apparently I just have a lot of dancers in my past), and it showed.Adam -- the serious one who now works at a corporate law-firm and definitely the driest, most mature of the bunch -- looks at me and raises his eyebrows, then gives a funny nod and looks at Kevin. A few minutes later, while I'm getting to know Jackie, I see Adam pass Kevin a sheet of scrap paper. Kevin nods, writes something, smiles, and passes it back. About 15 minutes later, I wander over to Adam's desk to ask him something, and before I can say anything. He hands me a piece of paper.4897b5555f.jpgOf course, Jackie walked up behind me just as I was reading/giggling, and says something like, "What's so funny guys." Kevin starts laughing, and Adam -- unsure exactly what to do -- freezes, takes the note, and, very deliberately, puts it in his desk. It was, quite obviously, about Jackie, and she quite obviously knew it. Adam was unmistakably hiding this note from Jackie. Adam waits at least 30 seconds before saying anything, and then:Adam: "We are having a discussion. It is about sports." That stayed on my dorm-room wall for years, and on the wall in my house on State Street until I eventually left for good. Jackie eventually saw it and knew it was about her, but this is after she gave me a Bloody Handjob, so it was of no consequence.

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So I am on vacation right now (not really my vacation since I don't have a job and do not deserve one, so technically my girlfriend is on vacation and I am just tagging along and paying for most of it) we seem to be hitting max traffic everywhere we go and 4 hour drives are turning into 7 hour drives. Other than that Vegas was fun but completely un vegas from what I am used to (cirq and nice dinners as opposed to booze/gambling/and whatever I can find to put in my mouth in 5 minutes).We are in Sedona for 2 nights and I already have a pretty decent sun burn from walking around the grand canyon and sitting in the car. Guapo what year and what were the specs on your explorer?

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Hardly worth the four-hour drive.
Sounds like you were the victim of economic profiling.
Or the inevitable restraining order
the whole thread wearing the same funny pants. gonna start to smell pretty soon.
who is this guy? I'm going to become a fan of his.wang your story reminds me of something completely unrelated from this weekend: I went out saturday night to the local club (country and western bar 40 minutes away) to meet my buddy who was out with his new girlfriend and some of her friends that I also knew. well apparently they're the dancing type, and when I got there they were already dancing. my buddy and I dip out off the dance floor to get beers when all the girls come up to the table. they start saying oh we've got our friend she needs a guy blah blah OOOHH ANDREW! you should dance with her! blah blah.. yeah, great. so she comes up, already looks like she wants to leave, but they start pointing at her and then at me and winking and all that crap, and I'm like sure, ok (I mean she was really cute.) I mention that I'm a horrible dancer, was completely sober, and that I hadn't ever even spoken to this girl, but they still managed to push me out on the dance floor with her and the rest of them. so I dance with her for like 2 songs, with them blatently encouraging me to rub up on her and all that jive the whole time, with her all the while looking away, texting people, and looking generally as uninterested in dancing with me as I am uninterested in seeing the sequel to the sisterhood of the traveling pants. I mention this to the other girls multiple times, and all they said was "oh she's really shy, just keep trying." I mean, really? what do you do here? I eventually just gave up and walked away, but I mean how embarrassing is that? fucking women.
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the whole time, with her all the while looking away, texting people, and looking generally as uninterested in dancing with me as I am uninterested in seeing the sequel to the sisterhood of the traveling pants. I mention this to the other girls multiple times, and all they said was "oh she's really shy, just keep trying." I mean, really? what do you do here? I eventually just gave up and walked away, but I mean how embarrassing is that? ****ing women.
I would have quit way earlier, or at least changed the terms, "Your friends told me to hit on you, and I have done so. I am going to go over there" (points to bar) "and have a drink. You are welcome to join me, or not, at any time. This was awkward."
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I would have quit way earlier, or at least changed the terms, "Your friends told me to hit on you, and I have done so. I am going to go over there" (points to bar) "and have a drink. You are welcome to join me, or not, at any time. This was awkward."
oh god I wanted to, and I actually tried to do something similar, but the god damn music was so loud I couldn't even hear what I was saying, let alone have her hear what I was saying. I hate clubs.
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To be fair, his picks didn't tank, he just ran into a pretty dominant bracket filled out by yours truly. You know, I've beaten Bizzle's ass handily a few times, so I think I have to be in again this year. Steve still owes me money from fantasy football.
Lol @ dominant bracket. You're silly.Name the terms this year big fella, I'm down for side-betting. I'm not in as many pools as years past so I've got cash laying around waiting to have friends come join it.
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It hurts my brain when someone with the title of VP does not know where the question mark is on a keyboard. I find myself trying to reread the question and turn it into a statement...Also, cue T-Bear going back and looking up how badly he beat Bizzle in last years bracket.

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It hurts my brain when someone with the title of VP does not know where the question mark is on a keyboard. I find myself trying to reread the question and turn it into a statement...
this must be a common thing among management types because I see it all the time. I guess they feel that they are far too important to be bothered with punctuation. it always irritates the hell out of me when anybody in a position of power uses improper grammar in some sort of correspondence. you mean you're in charge here yet you don't know the difference between 'there' and 'their'? fuck my life huh.
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Back from Vegas.Free room: +500Poker: +600Craps: +5753 card: -1200Clubs, booze, and food: -600Brain cells killed/liver damage sustained: incalculable.
Where was teh pokah? Gonna be there this weekend.
I never called or anything, but just told Katie to bring Jackie by on Thursday when we inevitably started drinking in my dorm room. It's me, Adam (one of my roommates), and Kevin, plus probably 2 other dudes and a girl, getting bombed in my room. I started drinking casually after my last class of the week at like 6, and by the time Katie rolls in with Jackie at 10ish, I'm in my comfort zone, about 10-12 Keystone Lights in.
I <3 u-Dawson
So I am on vacation right now (not really my vacation since I don't have a job and do not deserve one, so technically my girlfriend is on vacation and I am just tagging along and paying for most of it) we seem to be hitting max traffic everywhere we go and 4 hour drives are turning into 7 hour drives. Other than that Vegas was fun but completely un vegas from what I am used to (cirq and nice dinners as opposed to booze/gambling/and whatever I can find to put in my mouth in 5 minutes).We are in Sedona for 2 nights and I already have a pretty decent sun burn from walking around the grand canyon and sitting in the car.
Silky J - gonna be in Pheonix next month. The wife wants to go back to Sedona...I have never been there. She wants to stay at MiiAmo. Looks kinda ghey expensive to me.
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this must be a common thing among management types because I see it all the time. I guess they feel that they are far too important to be bothered with punctuation. it always irritates the hell out of me when anybody in a position of power uses improper grammar in some sort of correspondence. you mean you're in charge here yet you don't know the difference between 'there' and 'their'? fuck my life huh.
Guy must be as old as Randy.My dad was also a CFO and very successful.His emails to us have no punctuation, capitalization and I am sure he doesn't know where the spell chek is. I am listenting to the Irish Tenors live in Belfast right now.
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Guy must be as old as Randy.My dad was also a CFO and very successful.His emails to us have no punctuation, capitalization and I am sure he doesn't know where the spell chek is. I am listenting to the Irish Tenors live in Belfast right now.
not that I wouldn't be really embarrassed if someone thought terribly of me over bad email habits, but I would be cool with having a bad emailer for an employee or boss if they were damn good at their job. if you're a CEO, you do need to have a tactical bear on staff to proof everything you send out. starbucks can attest to this.
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not that I wouldn't be really embarrassed if someone thought terribly of me over bad email habits, but I would be cool with having a bad emailer for an employee or boss if they were damn good at their job. if you're a CEO, you do need to have a tactical bear on staff to proof everything you send out. starbucks can attest to this.
pretty sure their CEO sent out a letter to a bunch of business partners with many obvious grammatical errors. I think that kind of decision reflects horribly on your firm.
I'm confused...It's ok with having a bad emailer for an employee if you are damn good at your job, but it reflects horribly if the CEO sends bad emails?Whether you are the CEO or a payables clerk ( or even in the shipping dept like Sal), you still represent the company. Bad emails aren't good.
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I'm confused...It's ok with having a bad emailer for an employee if you are damn good at your job, but it reflects horribly if the CEO sends bad emails?Whether you are the CEO or a payables clerk ( or even in the shipping dept like Sal), you still represent the company. Bad emails aren't good.
seems to me that correctness in internal communication isn't all that crucial. neglecting to proof correspondence that goes out to the public is a whole other level of recklessness IMO.
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I would have quit way earlier, or at least changed the terms, "Your friends told me to hit on you, and I have done so. I am going to go over there" (points to bar) "and have a drink. You are welcome to join me, or not, at any time. This was awkward."
I like it better like that.WangBear, thanks for the brackets. Do I have to create a yahoo account or something? Have we decided on a format/league? I wasn't planning on participating so I've been skimming over most of those posts.
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Lol @ dominant bracket. You're silly.Name the terms this year big fella, I'm down for side-betting. I'm not in as many pools as years past so I've got cash laying around waiting to have friends come join it.
You're talking sports-gambling shit? To the semi-professional sports-gambler? Peter, I have DEMOLISHED you so far. Sickie bracket: FIRST (to your addmittedly solid second). Sickie Fantasy Football: FIRST (to your admittedly forgotten and irrelevant finishing position, even though you talked a toooooon of shit during the draft). I just ran some numbers, and I think Robert Morris has to beat UNC in the finals for me not to break-even for the year, otherwise I have already destroyed this tournament with my longterm positions. You wanna gamble, Peter? I'm your Huckleberry. You're not the biggest Bizzle on the block here, son. Not by a sight.
I like it better like that.WangBear, thanks for the brackets. Do I have to create a yahoo account or something? Have we decided on a format/league? I wasn't planning on participating so I've been skimming over most of those posts.
I pay the money, so I don't have the answer any of the questions. I don't even know what a nuclear panner-plant is.
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It's your native language. Is it really that outrageous we ask you to be fluent in it?
this. I'm the complete opposite of bigd when it comes to language. there is a reason for rules in grammar: to maintain a continuity of communication that everybody can use and recognize. when you start ignoring these rules, or even worse, making up your own words/spellings/lolisms, you create a rift in the communication tool, and eventually the language becomes useless. please ignore the fact that I never capitalize anything but 'I', thanks.
I like it better like that.
you know what sucks? ever since sat night, I've grown some sort of costanzaesque fascination with this girl. I'm starting to like her. she just dislikes me so much. it's irresistible.
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Guapo what year and what were the specs on your explorer?
2006. 45K Miles. CERTIFIED. They had the same thing you got, but AWD for 17K, I just did not like the body style or the black leather interior, plus I wanted 4 LOW to go camping.Exterior• Black Roof Side Rails• Onyx Grey Front/Rear Bumpers• Onyx Grey Body-Side Cladding• Onyx Grey Wheel Lip Molding• Chrome 4-Bar Design Grille• Fog Lamps• Black Folding Pwr Mirrors W/Puddle Lamps• Privacy Glass-Inc: Rear Door/Rear Quarter/Liftgate Glass• Speed-Sensitive Intermittent Front Wipers• Intermittent Rear Wiper/Washer• One-Piece Liftgate W/Pop-Up Flip Glass• Black Door Handles Interior• 5-Passenger Seating• 60/40 Split-Folding 2nd Row Seat W/Backrest Recline• Mid Series Floor Console W/Floor Shift Handle• Color Keyed Leather-Wrapped Steering Wheel• Tilt Steering Column• 2-Line Message Center-Inc: Outside Temp & Compass• Tire Pressure Monitoring System• Pwr Door Locks W/Cargo Area Lock/Unlock Button• Speed Control• Remote Keyless Entry-Inc: 2 Key Fobs, 2-Stage Unlocking, Autolock• Securilock/Immobilizer Anti-Theft System• Air Conditioning• Am/Fm 80-Watt Stereo W/Cd/Mp3• Illuminated Glove Box• Manual Day/Night Rearview Mirror• Overhead Storage Console• Color Keyed Cloth Sunvisors W/Illuminated Visor Vanity Mirrors• (2) Front/Rear Pwr Points• (3) Grab Handles• (4) Color Keyed Coat Hooks• Center Dome Lamp W/1st & 2nd Row Map Lights• Illuminated Entry• (4) Load Floor Tie-Down Hooks• Cargo Management System Safety• Front Passenger Sensing System• Beltminder Feature• Latch System On Rear Outboard Seat Locations• Adaptive Energy-Absorbing Steering ColumnMechanical• 3.55 Axle Ratio• Advancetrac W/Roll Stability Control• 130 Amp Alternator• 72 Amp Maintenance-Free Battery W/Battery Saver Feature• Class Ii Trailer Towing Hitch• 4-Wheel Independent Suspension• Pwr Rack & Pinion Steering• Pwr 4-Wheel Disc Brakes• 4-Wheel Anti-Lock BrakesValue Added Options• Stability Control• Xlt• Air Conditioning• Rear Air• Power Steering• Power Windows• Power Door Locks• Tilt Wheel• Cruise Control• Am/Fm Stereo• Mp3 (single Cd)• Dual Front Air Bags• Front Side Air Bags• Abs (4-Wheel)• Third Seat• Roof Rack• Privacy Glass• Towing Pkg• Alloy Wheels• Parking Sensors• Power Seat
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this. I'm the complete opposite of bigd when it comes to language. there is a reason for rules in grammar: to maintain a continuity of communication that everybody can use and recognize. when you start ignoring these rules, or even worse, making up your own words/spellings/lolisms, you create a rift in the communication tool, and eventually the language becomes useless. please ignore the fact that I never capitalize anything but 'I', thanks.you know what sucks? ever since sat night, I've grown some sort of costanzaesque fascination with this girl. I'm starting to like her. she just dislikes me so much. it's irresistible.
I'm incredibly passionate about that issue. I think there's some room for exploration and creativity when it comes to language, and I experiment all the time -- for example, with dashes, and the following not-exactly-appropriate use of the: full colon -- but I think there's significant value in understanding the contextual and syntactical (Next Account: Syntactical Bear) rules and usages of language. Communication is really all that matters, and when you start ignoring rules like BigD does, it only serves to obstruct, and as an obfuscationary distraction.BigD always argues that "You know what I'm saying, so why does it matter?" ************, because now I have to make sure I know what you're saying since it's not explicit, and that extra time -- those beats where I have to flick my eyes back and add a comma or respell a word in my head -- makes whatever you're trying to say less coherent, your message less immediate. He'd argue that I'm a "language snob," but that's not quite it; I'm a communication snob. I understand that some people can't spell, and that some people aren't going to have the passion for grammar and sentence construction that I do, and that's understandable. I'm a nerd, and a well-educated one at that. But when you start blatantly disregarding the common rules of communication -- or, in some cases, covering your ignorance by claiming you're just disregarding the rules -- you simply have less impact. I actually like BigD, but all of his lame justifications are moot when I stand up and shout: "YOUR ENTIRE ****ING PREMISE IS WRONG. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE SAYING."I might know what he's saying, but, then again, I might not. I'm filling in the blanks most of the time. I have a vocabulary rant, too, but I'll keep it short. I don't prefer big words to small ones, or complicated words to simple ones; I prefer the perfect word to the imperfect word. I had an English teacher in 6th grade who hammered this point home (I later got lucky with fantastic English teachers in 8th, 9th, and 10th grades). "Don't use the word nice. It's never the best word. Do you mean kind? Polite? Pleasant? Courteous? Agreeable? Because nice doesn't mean anything." 12+ years later, I still remember that, and have taken it to heart. There's always a best word, and I **** it up sometimes, but I am always looking for the word that best serves my purpose -- and that purpose varies wildly; sometimes the word should be be jarring (as a juxtaposition), and other times it's intentionally vague.Oh yeah and now you really gotta try and bang that girl, Shake. I've been dominant lately. Want me to drive down to Virginia, help get her on the late-ferry to boink-town? Wang
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