Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

So, I just went to use the public restroom, and when I walked in, it smelled like some serious pooping had just been going on. So I hold my breath, pee in the urinal, and proceed to wash my hands. (I may or may not've gotten some back splatter on my hands) Anyway, as I'm washing up, someone comes in and makes that "GODDAMN, WHO DIED IN HERE" face. Now, he's looking at me like I just dumped my brains out.the question is:Do I go into a whole song and dance about how it stunk when I got in there, and joke about how someone should've removed the gerbil from their butt after it died or just wash my hands and leave?This is the stuff that runs through my head constantly
a simple, "i know. i've been holding my breath." with an annoyed shake of the head will get the point across that you are not the culprit.
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 268.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19414

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

a simple, "i know. i've been holding my breath." with an annoyed shake of the head will get the point across that you are not the culprit.
meh, he wouldn't believe me anyway.I had a poop mustache at the time
Link to post
Share on other sites

re: Casino Poker.1-2NL in Vancouver is like free money. On your typical Saturday night table, there are 2-3 semi-"serious" players, 2-3 maniac rich Asian kids, and the rest are uberfish. If you can't quadruple your buyin in 2 hours playing ABC, you must so card-dead it isn't funny.I had a maniac sit down on Saturday night to many groans from the other players. He is known as a very loose player. Max buyin is $200, he buys in for the max and pushes all in PF 4 hands in a row. The first three he was good (Q9o>AK, 56s>KK, AT0>QQ), then the fourth, he was no good. Thank you very much, I like it when you accumulate half the money on the table then give it to me... Bet the serious players off their draws and valuebet the uberdonks, and the wallet gets fuller.I like live poker.

Link to post
Share on other sites
So, I just went to use the public restroom, and when I walked in, it smelled like some serious pooping had just been going on. So I hold my breath, pee in the urinal, and proceed to wash my hands. (I may or may not've gotten some back splatter on my hands) Anyway, as I'm washing up, someone comes in and makes that "GODDAMN, WHO DIED IN HERE" face. Now, he's looking at me like I just dumped my brains out.the question is:Do I go into a whole song and dance about how it stunk when I got in there, and joke about how someone should've removed the gerbil from their butt after it died or just wash my hands and leave?This is the stuff that runs through my head constantly
Denying it will only make you look even more guilty. Just say 'too much chili' and walk out.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Denying it will only make you look even more guilty. Just say 'too much chili' and walk out.
correct answeralthough, I don't talk to people I don't know, I just drop my head and walk out.
Link to post
Share on other sites
the question is:Do I go into a whole song and dance about how it stunk when I got in there, and joke about how someone should've removed the gerbil from their butt after it died or just wash my hands and leave?This is the stuff that runs through my head constantly
I think the proper response here is "the breakfast burritos are wonderful this morning."
Link to post
Share on other sites
Anybody need their credit pulled?
checking people's credit lowers their scorethat was the only thing i quoted because people were rugged enough on their own. i didn't wake up until 1pm, so i'll be cranky all day.all lefthanded and redheaded people should be marched into the ocean to die, or at the very least, kept in camps. i still haven't figured out how the jews got blamed instead of the lefties, with your goddamn inefficient need for specialized products.
Link to post
Share on other sites
all lefthanded and redheaded people should be marched into the ocean to die, or at the very least, kept in camps. i still haven't figured out how the jews got blamed instead of the lefties, with your goddamn inefficient need for specialized products.
you've really been on fire latelyit's kinda sexy
Link to post
Share on other sites
Ron's poopy dilema
If I don't know them I just keep doing what I am doing. If I do know them I make up some lame excuse.If I am on an airplane and let one fly, I usually just casually cover my nose and adjust the overhead air thingy. Couldn't be me. Right?
checking people's credit lowers their score. Not necessarily true. Excessive inquiries can.that was the only thing i quoted because people were rugged enough on their own. i didn't wake up until 1pm, so i'll be cranky all day. Late night poker?all lefthanded and redheaded people should be marched into the ocean to die, or at the very least, kept in camps. i still haven't figured out how the jews got blamed instead of the lefties, with your goddamn inefficient need for specialized products. FU Adolph
Link to post
Share on other sites
all lefthanded and redheaded people should be marched into the ocean to die, or at the very least, kept in camps. i still haven't figured out how the jews got blamed instead of the lefties, with your goddamn inefficient need for specialized products.
Wow. I will die since I never learned how to swim. Can I pick which ocean?
Link to post
Share on other sites
Wow. I will die since I never learned how to swim. Can I pick which ocean?
yes. you may be a horrible mutant redhead, but you're still a person.lefties on the other hand, cannot pick the ocean. it is not an exaggeration to say that lefthanded (sinistre) people are holding back the standard of living of us normies. you think all those lefty-specialist things, like software that lets you use the opposite buttons on a mouse just magically appeared? no, it takes time and productive capacities to make these things. productive capacities that could've been used more efficiently towards economic growth. the lefthanded person is holding back the righty from greatness! heil righty!i'm not even joking. you goddamn lefties.
Link to post
Share on other sites

i've made this request before but i'm gonna make it againif anyone has yahoo messenger or is willing to download it, i am looking for some one to online pool with. i'll be uplate tonight and would like to play a few games. pleeeeeeeaaaassseeee ..... i'll even turn on the webcam

Link to post
Share on other sites
yes. you may be a horrible mutant redhead, but you're still a person.lefties on the other hand, cannot pick the ocean. it is not an exaggeration to say that lefthanded (sinistre) people are holding back the standard of living of us normies. you think all those lefty-specialist things, like software that lets you use the opposite buttons on a mouse just magically appeared? no, it takes time and productive capacities to make these things. productive capacities that could've been used more efficiently towards economic growth. the lefthanded person is holding back the righty from greatness! heil righty!i'm not even joking. you goddamn lefties.
got laid lefty>virgin righty
Link to post
Share on other sites
got laid lefty>virgin righty
:golfclap:I knew there was I reason I always like the Montreal Canadians.PS. MDG, I threw one in the gf last night. She moaned like a stuck pig.
Link to post
Share on other sites
your mother would be proud. unless she's dead. in that case she'd just be dead.
Yes because i must natrually be promising some sort of sexual show via webcam .... and not just suggesting the use of the webcam and mic and my computer to have an actual face to face conversation while we shoot pool.
Link to post
Share on other sites
i genuinely feel sorry for you
Yeah, this Nerina Pallot chick is godawful, but all we have is a minidisc player so it's either her, KT Tunstall, or tearing out my eardrums with a fork. The last option seems more appealing with every 9 hour shift I complete.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Yes because i must natrually be promising some sort of sexual show via webcam .... and not just suggesting the use of the webcam and mic and my computer to have an actual face to face conversation while we shoot pool.
judges' ruling?
Link to post
Share on other sites
Yeah, this Nerina Pallot chick is godawful, but all we have is a minidisc player so it's either her, KT Tunstall, or tearing out my eardrums with a fork. The last option seems more appealing with every 9 hour shift I complete.
i'd take the fork
Link to post
Share on other sites
checking people's credit lowers their scorethat was the only thing i quoted because people were rugged enough on their own. i didn't wake up until 1pm, so i'll be cranky all day.all lefthanded and redheaded people should be marched into the ocean to die, or at the very least, kept in camps. i still haven't figured out how the jews got blamed instead of the lefties, with your goddamn inefficient need for specialized products.
Can we euthanize the color blind people too?
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...