DwayneWayne 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 From Cardplayer......Overall, Darden is feeling great about his game and says he is primed to take down one of the big tournaments. “The tweak is over,” he said. “I weathered the storm, and now I am the storm.Sick line. Link to post Share on other sites
avsfan 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 "Nothing is true, everything is permitted."- Hassan i Sabah"Nothing exists until or unless it is observed. An artist is making something exist by observing it. And his hope for other people is that they will also make it exist by observing it. I call it 'creative observation'. Creative viewing."- William S. Burroughs"People think we had a love-hate relationship. Well, I did not love him, nor did I hate him. We had mutual respect for each other, even as we both planned each other's murder."-Herzog on Kinski "We are often told that we are incoherent, but into this word people try to put an insult that it is rather hard for me to fathom. Everything is incoherent...There is no logic...The acts of life have no beginning and no end. Everything happens in a completely idiotic way. That is why everything is alike."- Tristan TzaraConsequences dictateOur course of actionAnd it doesn’t matter what’s right.It’s only wrong if you get caught.-tool"Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. "- William Shakespeare Link to post Share on other sites
mbreon 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 "Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand." -Cool Hand Luke- Link to post Share on other sites
Oziumrules 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Teddy KGB Quotes"He beat me...straight up...pay him...pay that man his money""Just like a young man coming in for a quickie...I feel so unsatisfied""It hurts doesnt it...Your hopes dashed...your dreams down the toilet, and your fate sitting right beside you""Your money? I am still up twenty grand last time I stick it in you" Link to post Share on other sites
Royal_Tour 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Author Share Posted June 10, 2005 Teddy KGB Quotes"He beat me...straight up...pay him...pay that man his money""Just like a young man coming in for a quickie...I feel so unsatisfied""It hurts doesnt it...Your hopes dashed...your dreams down the toilet, and your fate sitting right beside you""Your money? I am still up twenty grand last time I stick it in you"caught a hanger sarge Link to post Share on other sites
GTKID 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 "There is no bad beats, made hands, or draws, only odds." Link to post Share on other sites
Chance Bud 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Liqour In the front...Poker in the rear Link to post Share on other sites
Royal_Tour 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Author Share Posted June 10, 2005 Liqour In the front...Poker in the rearhaha nice.. Link to post Share on other sites
Royal_Tour 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Author Share Posted June 10, 2005 poker is a lot like sex, everyone thinks their a pro. but most of the time, they have no idea whats going on. Link to post Share on other sites
21gambit 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 How do you get a professional poker player off of your porch?Pay him for the pizza. Link to post Share on other sites
dead money 1 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 my siganture is my favorite poker quote. its from the book Poker Nation by Andy Bellin. I actually use this advice. Link to post Share on other sites
alf13 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 "These players that draw out on you are subhuman retards and you need to let them know this." - Bill Fillmath Link to post Share on other sites
Brad pitt 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 "I will take down your stack faster than Bobby Fisher takes down opponents in Chess"Phil Papmuth"You've been PAP'dPhil Papmuth"I crush you like stale government rationed bread"Profe$$ional {must be the Russinan Phil Papmuth}"I have moves Muhammad Ali only dreamed about"Phil Papmuth"Hey Fischman I thought I saw you on TV last night, come to find out it was the ladies event of the WSOP"sdouble"I'm pushin you around like a midget at the airport"The_Gee_Man"I am gonna hang you out to dry just like I did with your girl friends panties"Papmuth"Congrats you just paid for my happy meal"KiD[ReD]"It's butcher time"Swingy"You must crap four leaf clovers."LV_GaryD"Maybe you should go to the play tables with yourtissues."'stevesavi"You play looser than a stuffed turkey on Thanksgiving"Papmuth "You keep calling hands like that, you will end up at the stay and pray table playing with my sister." eric 1"What cha gonna do when philpapmuth runs wild on you?" Papmuth"You got a halo over our head or something, explain to me why you would play that?" Rex Dog"I will roll your stack over like asphalt"Papmuth"32 in the waist, cute in the face and hit hard" Table Saw "You keep calling that crap, you'll end up back at the play tables."Papmuth"You learn that move by watching Celebrity Poker?"Papmuth"Your the dumbest chaser since Wile E. Coyote."Goodfella57"Keep hating, I will watch the money pile up"Swingy"Price of gas is going down, just like your stack."TonyTBoss Link to post Share on other sites
Brad pitt 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 "I will break you like a beer bottle on the side of a curb."Swingy"I will crush you like a piece of cereal."PapmuthI will crumble you like a cracker, and put you in my soup.Swingy"If you draw out on me one more time I 'm going to show you how we used to play poker in prison, ...and it ain't with cards beautiful." 50outz"I was running so badly, I swear, if it was raining pussy ...I would get hit by a dick."50outz"If you want to push buttons at random, go play in an elevator" Goodfella57"Even a goof ball can catch cards." Sam Grizzle"I am going to put my evil inside of you." Trutrip151"I'm working on my player notes. Does anyone know another word for "retarded?"Goodfella57"If that kicker was holding up your bike as a kid you would have had alot of skinned knees."Billbinlv"You are easier to read than a Dr. Seuss book."50outz" a straight flush is like a sore d1ck, you just can't beat it"Table Saw"With hands like that, I gather you lose on this site"JerryGarcia"Are you a biologist?" "No, why?" "For awhile, it looked like a chimp took hold of your mouse."Goodfella57"You must be fred sanford's forgotten son playing junk like that."dano42"Poker is like sex for you, you don't know the first thing about it, and you do it alone in front of a computer"50outZ Link to post Share on other sites
Nutcracker 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 On a final board of AA9xx at my homegame, my opponent pushes all in. I call with 99. He says "damn, I only have a 9". I say, "what kicker?". He replies, "Queen, you?"I say, "damn, my kicker is smaller.... only a 9"Maybe it was more funny because we were drunk. Link to post Share on other sites
murmar 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 "Overrated Donkey, Internet Donkey, Tournament Donkey, Andy Bloch." Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 "Overrated Donkey, Internet Donkey, Tournament Donkey, Andy Bloch."Hehe, nice. Link to post Share on other sites
semaj550 0 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Player who you just bluffed out of a pot: "What did you have?"You: "A pair. A pair of really big balls."-----Player who just folded a hand to you: "What did you have?"You: "Two cards."-----"When I bet I've either got the nuts or the balls."--Unknown Link to post Share on other sites
s_dogg 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 "Poker is gross...if you have a flush, someone has a full house. If you have a full house, someone has quads. If you have quads, the lights in the casino will go out and someone will steal you chip stack. " Phil Laak Link to post Share on other sites
iveyfan30 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 not poker related ..."i've come to wish you an unhappy birthday, cause your evil and you lie,and if you should die i may feel slightly sad..but i wont cry.... the smith ..unhappy birthday....poker related.... "must be the shirt"..phil ivey after taking a bad beat by freddy deeb in the wsop..... Link to post Share on other sites
orville 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 Put down your best poker quote.My favourite quote to date: quoted from member - MapleLeafsWhen I go to a fast food restaurant, and my order comes to $6.28, I like to give the cashier $18.71. They look at me and say 'What's this?' and I say 'I'm all in'They usually fold.I love this one!..This is my favorite. I tried it at McDonalds but the pimply faced cashier didn't get it.Orville Link to post Share on other sites
DB10-2 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 "You call this one gonna be all over, baby." Link to post Share on other sites
I_KNOW_IT 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 When I eventually win a pot I like to say" Even a blind squirel finds the nuts now and again " Link to post Share on other sites
avsfan 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 "These players that draw out on you are subhuman retards and you need to let them know this." - Bill FillmathOh, how I love that guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Tman 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 I like my signature, and of course slim has a bunch of classics to go with that Calling pocket Queens 4 titties is pretty funny, Link to post Share on other sites
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