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I Called In Sick Today


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Nap, whats up? Hows BC?

 

Shake, you get that job or what?

 

Brvy what you gonna do on your time off?

 

Tilty you still in chi town?

 

Hank you killed someone at work yet?

 

Jubi, you still you?

 

Fritzy, hows the cat?

 

Frau, hows your stuff?

 

Anybosy else?

 

no. which is surprising to everyone but none more so than me.

 

Cat is good. he's on an all wet food diet now. Vet said he's overweight, didn't know dry food is bad for them.

 

i always thought a diet heavy/solely on wet food induced the hershey squirts.

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Nice. My pets have all been on wet food for a while. Across three animals, it's fixed like seven health problems.

That's great, it's only been a few weeks but I can tell he's lost some weight. Wish i had known earlier about crappy dry food.

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I'm drunk and high in the afternoon, shooting a bow down a flight of stairs into a 3D target, killing time until I'm sober enough to drive to pick up a gun I ordered.

This same day has included a bicycle ride and extremely fetishistic sex. And I'm just getting warmed up.

 

you're like exactly like beans but completely the opposite...

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Well, Essay, I'm a little tilted right now. My FWB told me he really liked me, then a few hours later, told me he loved me, and then hours after that, more of the same.

 

My tiny sliver of rational brain knows what he meant--we've known each other for years. He has string friend feelings, mixed with some romance, and topped with being a cross country thing. He and I are opposites in this way. It's easier for him to tell me he loves me than to stay in touch.

 

I need to get a good night of sleep, and when I get back to CA, see if I can put myself on some OK Cupid or something and just cycle through any likely candidates.

 

just stop by iowa and help nappy and you both move on.

 

And I'm just great, friend, thanks for asking.

 

sorry buddy. i always forget someone when i do that. but in my defense, i'm usually pooping at the time and you know how stressful that can be.

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This is how I imagine it would play out if me and Sklansky ever met in real life

 

 

I've never seen an episode of Scrubs, and yet I've always had a high opinion of it, just based on people I trust saying it's great. However, that clip makes it seem really ****ing stupid. (I did smile when the winner guy said "brother-dad" though, so maybe it could win me over if I started from the beginning.)

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I'm going down to the city on Saturday. I'm just walking around.

 

I'm taking the kids to a Cubs game next Saturday.

 

Other than that, I'll just be tilling the garden and getting the yard ready for Spring.

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I've never seen an episode of Scrubs, and yet I've always had a high opinion of it, just based on people I trust saying it's great. However, that clip makes it seem really ****ing stupid. (I didn't smile when the winner guy said "brother-dad" though, so maybe it could win me over if I started from the beginning.

 

It certainly had moments of greatness.

 

That clip was pretty damn far from one of them, though.

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That's great, it's only been a few weeks but I can tell he's lost some weight. Wish i had known earlier about crappy dry food.

 

Yeah, the big thing with us was a skin condition that went away within a week. I initially only switched because I thought it was funny to spend gambling scores pampering cats, but there is no going back now.

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did i tell you guys i bought some ugg slippers? holy shit are they worth the money. my feet are in heaven right now.

 

31QZGiFkpUL.jpg

 

Not my style of slipper, but I support slippers. I was hesitant because it seemed like such an old man purchase, but they are indispensable in the winter.

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sorry buddy. i always forget someone when i do that. but in my defense, i'm usually pooping at the time and you know how stressful that can be.

 

Depends on what you ate, I guess.

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i always thought a diet heavy/solely on wet food induced the hershey squirts.

 

Not true at all. Pets, particularly cats, aren't meant to eat grains, A cat on a raw food diet, for example, won't need a water dish, because they get all the water they need from their food. Dry food makes them fat and is bad for their kidneys/liver, and dehydrates them. Not all wet food is much better, but i'd rather give my cat the cheapest wet food than the most expensive dry

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My initial plan was to only give the raw rood to my preferred cat, and keep the other on dry. But I am losing my edge.

 

I'd like to give a quick shoutout to Rad Cat. They are doing it Godzilla-big.

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Not my style of slipper, but I support slippers. I was hesitant because it seemed like such an old man purchase, but they are indispensable in the winter.

 

http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/18999?feat=511914-GN2&page=men-s-wicked-good-slippers

 

 

new pair every year. wearing the remnants of last years as we speak.

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Yeah, the big thing with us was a skin condition that went away within a week. I initially only switched because I thought it was funny to spend gambling scores pampering cats, but there is no going back now.

 

Oh sure, you guys know nothing about cats. It's not like we have a vet here or pet food company that has murdered someone's cats!

 

I think I need need the hug.

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I haven't been able to sleep past 4 (save for the nights I was drunk) for the past week or so. And then I'll toss and turn for the next two hours and finally fall back asleep right before my alarm goes off at 6 and then I'll hit snooze until 6:45ish and rush to get to work and I'll be five to ten minutes late. I've tried going to bed early, late, working out harder, working out less. Opening my windows. More blankets. Less blankets. Nothing. Just gotta get through it I guess. I usually go through these spells a few times a year.

 

Umm, never occurred it might be the actual drinking? You obviously should just drink every night.

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The weird thing I didn't report:

 

I went for an early lunch at Potbelly. There's an guy in his 50's ahead of me in line. He's dressed fine, but seems spacey and out of it. He keeps thanking the counter girl for helping him get a sandwich. He's genuinely amazed they could basically pick a sandwich for him to order.

 

It's a heated sandwich place, with inidividualized toppings, so you end up standing next to the next person in line for a while (you can't rush toasted cheese and bread!). The guy keeps telling me what a great salesperson the counter girl is, how she "could just sell me an Italian sandwich."

 

I said, "yeah, that's a great sandwich. This is the first day of the rest of your life." I then got to repeat that cliche a total of three times, because he was confused by what it meant.

 

This guy would freak at Subway.

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http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/18999?feat=511914-GN2&page=men-s-wicked-good-slippers

 

 

new pair every year. wearing the remnants of last years as we speak.

 

Why would you keep buying an 80 dollar slipper that only lasts one year?! There has got to be a better quality slipper out there that you find just as comfortable for less than 80 bucks.

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Yeah, it's probably fair to judge the entirety of Scrubs from one out of context clip.

 

Nobody did that! Calm down, Gilligan.

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Why would you keep buying an 80 dollar slipper that only lasts one year?! There has got to be a better quality slipper out there that you find just as comfortable for less than 80 bucks.

 

here's a guy that doesn't know anything about luxury items

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