Dread Aidan 8 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Either they think I am an awesome communicator or full of bullshit.How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?I'm going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. Link to post Share on other sites
SBriand 4 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?I'm going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.Hahahaha Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 It got really awkward when they all showed up at the same time and were in my small office due to the cold rain outside. Christ, they must think I am schitzo about now. . Either they think I am an awesome communicator or full of bullshit. On the other hand, they all purchased so I guess that's all that mattersHeh. When I was renting apartments I definitely had a totally different approach based on who I was talking to...I guess that's just the way it goes. A vanilla middle class couple [does not equal] an Indian man recently flown in to this country for a tech job [does not equal] someone getting the apartment for $50 a month courtesy my taxes.Um, yes, those were our typical tenants. I had some good stories back in the day...like Steve's, but more about amusement than anger. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 man every time I cook chicken my damn kitchen stinks like chicken for several days. ain't enough air fresheners in the state to get it out. beans can you ask your wife for suggestions?also: I've had a rash on various parts of my body for a couple days now. it's getting kinda annoying. problem is, I can't figure out what in the world I've eaten or done differently that might have caused it. nothing out of the ordinary at all. beans, you probably shouldn't ask your wife for suggestions on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 man every time I cook chicken my damn kitchen stinks like chicken for several days. ain't enough air fresheners in the state to get it out. beans can you ask your wife for suggestions?also: I've had a rash on various parts of my body for a couple days now. it's getting kinda annoying. problem is, I can't figure out what in the world I've eaten or done differently that might have caused it. nothing out of the ordinary at all. beans, you probably shouldn't ask your wife for suggestions on this one.It's probably the hiv. Maybe some hydrocortisone cream and and antihistamine would help? Link to post Share on other sites
BillyPilgrim 1 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 i call shake's tie collection when he dies of aids. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 i call shake's tie collection when he dies of aids.I call Napa's bed for when I have a second bedroom. Wait, he did die, right?Oh, wait, shit, I think he ended up ok. Except he might get fired or something unimportant. Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 bank's IT guy emails me today asking if I want in the running for this new job they're creating under him.ffffuuuuck yea Link to post Share on other sites
Napa Lite 3,278 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Nah, I'm feeling 95% well, so probably not going to die of an exploding gall bladder. Plus, I'm crashing at my buddy's tonight and him and his two roommates are in med school so, they probably know how to call 911. However, I'm 80% to kill myself after this test tomorrow since I'm 90% to fail at this point. I think that means you're a favorite to get dibs on my bed. Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 hold on, I'm really good at theseI'm getting .647, anyone else? Link to post Share on other sites
Napa Lite 3,278 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Really depends on the weight you give that they will be able to provide adequate medical attention. Also, if we want to get technical we'd have to weight in the probability I get fired and need to sell my bed for food money. Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 currently watching this. day9 folding his laundry. and it's more entertaining than anything I've watched for weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
BillyPilgrim 1 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 i've said it before and i'll say it again: if you think daniel tosh is funny, you have absolutely no idea what funny is. he sucks. i hate him. he's worse than dane cook. Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 tosh's show is reddit for people who don't know what reddit is. just seeing him rip jokes directly from anonymous comments/submissions, it bothers the crap out of me. I distinctly remember watching conan doing the same thing in a monologue maybe a year or two ago, probably just some lazy writer on his staff. Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 I'd probably get paid less if they added that to my duties.FYPheh heh heh, I/you said doodies, heh heh heh. Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 those are all really nice ideas there 8, but I think maybe taking an "out of order" sign in there with me might be a little, um, cleanercalling him "8" bothers me. what if i want to switch back? it would be mayhem! Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?I'm going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.this is excellent. i guffawed in real life. i really want to believe you didn't steal it from somewhere. i'm not going to google it so i can maintain that illusion. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 calling him "8" bothers me. what if i want to switch back? it would be mayhem!WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU???and speaking of aids infested ties, our company christmas party is this saturday night. going with my black suit, white brooks brothers extra slim shirt, and a black jcrew tie. at least at this moment that's the plan. gonna draper all them bitches. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 tosh's show is reddit for people who don't know what reddit is. just seeing him rip jokes directly from anonymous comments/submissions, it bothers the crap out of me. I distinctly remember watching conan doing the same thing in a monologue maybe a year or two ago, probably just some lazy writer on his staff.I believe that tosh rips shit off from reddit, but I'd be surprised if Conan's staff did it...they're pretty high profile for that. Could have just been coincidence, as sometimes the jokes about any particular person or event can just about write themselves.and speaking of aids infested ties, our company christmas party is this saturday night. going with my black suit, white brooks brothers extra slim shirt, and a black jcrew tie. at least at this moment that's the plan. gonna draper all them bitches.How the shit do you stuff yourself into an extra slim shirt? Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 764 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 cut the arms off todd style Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 I believe that tosh rips shit off from reddit, but I'd be surprised if Conan's staff did it...they're pretty high profile for that. Could have just been coincidence, as sometimes the jokes about any particular person or event can just about write themselves.could have been, but I remember it being almost word for word. anyway, I agree, he's been doing this for like 20 years, seems he'd have been caught by now if it were a regular thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Aidan 8 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 and speaking of aids infested ties, our company christmas party is this saturday night. going with my black suit, white brooks brothers extra slim shirt, and a black jcrew tie. at least at this moment that's the plan. gonna draper all them bitches. Link to post Share on other sites
Dawson Leery 12 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Got an offer from the firm I wanted for significantly less (like 40-55% less) than the other firm...also a substantial pay cut from my current job...being poor's not that bad, right Shake/Napa?Really wish it had been close to my current comp, would have made life a lot easier... Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 764 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 not that I should ever be giving out job advice (or any advice at all for that matter), I don't think you should take the offer. once you accept a low payscale, it's damn near impossible to raise it even moderately quickly, even by changing companies sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Roll the Bones 74 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Hahahahahahahaha (I forgot why I quoted...Oh yeah, hahahaha it's a car salesman joke! TOOO FUNNNNY!What's really funny is the facial expressions I make while playing with the calculator. I take them on a roller coaster ride before getting excited and yelling, "Congrats, you're not as ****ed as I thought!"It's probably the hiv. Maybe some hydrocortisone cream and and antihistamine would help?Ha, shake has da Aidz!i call shake's tie collection when he dies of aids.dammitbank's IT guy emails me today asking if I want in the running for this new job they're creating under him.ffffuuuuck yeaDon't get your hopes up, life will only crush them.If he quits, Newt should benefit from the pro-adultry vote switching. Link to post Share on other sites
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