I Called In Sick Today

[El Guapo 8]

water line has to be done by a licensed guy right? hope so. makes it more awesome.

No. It's just supposed to be to code. Beansy just talked me into doing something to code, instead of rigging it. ----I just realized today that I have clients named Peter and Lois G.

[ShakeZuma 585]

ruining my life, guapo. ruining my fucking life.

[El Guapo 8]

ruining my life, guapo. ruining my fucking life.

Suck it. You have been way way to happy. You would do the same for me if I came in bragging about getting some every night.There is a fine equilibrium we need to keep here and you were about to create a paradox.

[ShakeZuma 585]

but I mean strategy is near suicidal now right? he's the elain to my costanza.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Never ever would I have outside cats. I pulled up to work to find the old black cat that has been roaming the complex for years had 4 kittens and they now hang out under the handicap ramp.

I knew you were a good egg.

glasses fetishes ... I knew I could hear this forum calling my name! [i wear glasses about half the time, although not in my picture.]

lay it on us ginger

because fuck them, that's why

so, you chose the wrench?

wang's life: right out of a bad sitcom.

yeah, beyond awful. You know you're hanging out with young people when they still do they still proclaim someone "whipped" for getting ass

Hey, anyone want to help write some jokes? A friend's bachelor party is this weekend, and he requested a "nasty roast."Potential topics to mine for material:1.) He's marrying a jew broad2.) He smokes more weed than any person ever3.) He's one of the most unathletic people I've ever seen and yet still loves to play sports4.) He's at least a borderline functioning alcoholic

for the weed jokes, steal from Katt Williams' The Pimp Chronicles. Here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93jQI_6G5Cw...feature=related

I already met a few of her friends last weekend but they weren't even close to her level, but still pretty sure they all like me, so they can like, spread the word as well?Meh, going with the hiding plan. Thanks though.

don't become everyone's little buddy. otherwise you'll be the friendly pet. Don't ask to shit on their chests either.

[LadyGrey 6]

Hey guys. My Internet is broken but I've borrowed an iPhone for the evening. Just caught up on the last few pages, nice work people. I am concerned about this Jenny girl though. Really, arm warmers? I know guys mostly don't care if what a girl wears is stylish (especially if she's hot) but trust me those are NOT stylish. Even Avril Lavigne seems to have abandoned hers. Wang, you may be digging Jenny now but this highly dubious fashion choice signals underlying issues to me. I regret to say I forsee another messy break up in your future. I don't have much else to say. Well I do, I have some awesome stories to tell from my roadtrip, but I can't be bothered to type them on this puny little iPhone I'm borrowing.

[Napa_Don 688]

This is what I got for my picks. Thoughts?

[Tactical Bear 3]

This is what I got for my picks. Thoughts?

Didn't you listen to anything we said? The Lions are catching SEVEN. Air Force is favored and probably INCREDIBLY UNPOPULAR compared to BYU.

[Napa_Don 688]

Didn't you listen to anything we said? The Lions are catching SEVEN. Air Force is favored and probably INCREDIBLY UNPOPULAR compared to BYU.

Yeah, thats what I meant to do. Fixed. What about the rest.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Yeah, thats what I meant to do. Fixed. What about the rest.

I think a lot of people in your pool are going to take Michigan, even though they're 4 point dogs. I'd take ND there.

[speedz99 145]

"Pat": married to a beautiful nigerian (despite being pretty average looking, he had the intelligence to take advantage of their language barrier before her english got better so he had that shit locked up before other dudes could even try) who has no idea that he smokes weed constantly, and he has hidden this from her for their entire relationship. rapidly approaching "kids" phase of life, i.e. death."Nick": extremely tall programmer, REALLY likes brewing, probably prefers beer to vag"Sal": despite having the reputation as 'the dumb one' of our friends, started his own business right out of college, which is really successful and is now married to a beautiful 23-year-old brazilian. that said, he definitely stares into the middle distance a LOT, probably from smoking way too much weed. eats mexican food like 5 nights per week."Scott": working toward his phd in math, very intelligent, really into grilling meats, smokes pork shoulders on weekends etc. can drink more and sustain the longest sessions of anyone i've ever known. probably hasn't been laid in a really long time."Jim": the nicest of our friends, thus is viewed as 'the weak one'. regular group punching bag, but takes it like a man and is STILL nice to everyone, always."Matt": went to med school in the bay area, doing his residency at a local hospital here. currently living at his wife's parents' house in the suburbs. coincidentally, wife is a close high school friend of my gf.

So, what should we call the groom? How about "Jay"."So I hear that Jay's parents were pretty upset that he's marrying a jewish girl, but then they remembered that at least they aren't Sal's parents. And Sal's parents can always fall back on the fact that at least they aren't Pat's parents. Pat managed to marry the only black woman on earth that he'd have to hide his weed habit from. Pat's smoking addiction has gotten so bad that it makes Jay's alcoholism look like Scott's grilling hobby. Scott, you smoke a great pork shoulder, but you really need to start focusing on getting your dick wet once in a while. You could set up your grill outside of a camp for fat chicks with daddy issues, and Jim would still be the only pussy you'd see that night. I'm glad Sal's here tonight, living proof of the fact that the american dream is still attainable for the Forrest Gumps of our generation. And here [Matt's wife]'s parents thought they'd gotten lucky with their son-in-law. They actually called earlier, Matt, they said to get your ass home to mow their lawn." That's all I've got on first glance, maybe I'll take another break later and try again. If anyone wants to throw in their two cents in terms of what works (maybe a joke or two), what could be improved upon (a lot of it), and what should just be cut, go for it, I won't take offense. This could be a good team effort here.

[Theraflu 1,035]

That is a lot of effort.

[speedz99 145]

That is a lot of effort.

Me?Hey, did I mention that I enjoyed some herb last weekend that was purchased from KG, originally brought to MA by 'Sheed? It was, not surprisingly, top notch.

[Theraflu 1,035]

Me?Hey, did I mention that I enjoyed some herb last weekend that was purchased from KG, originally brought to MA by 'Sheed? It was, not surprisingly, top notch.

Yes, keeping all the names straight for the jokes and whatnot.No, you hadn't, but that leads to a whole lot of questions you probably can't answer.

[Napa_Don 688]

Thoughts?STARTERS SLOT PLAYER, TEAM POSQB Matt Schaub, Hou QBRB Chris Johnson, Ten RBRB Jamaal Charles, KC RB  PRB/WR Leon Washington, Sea RBWR Hines Ward, Pit WRWR Santana Moss, Was WRTE Antonio Gates, SD TED/ST Dolphins D/ST, Mia D/STK David Akers, Phi KBENCH SLOT PLAYER, TEAM POSBench Cadillac Williams, TB RBBench David Garrard, Jac QBBench Devin Hester, Chi WRBench Devery Henderson, NO WRBench Jeremy Shockey, NO TEBench Bears D/ST, Chi D/STBench Kevin Walter, Hou WR

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

jack stack?if it wasn't jack stack, you missed out

there is a jack stack LITERALLY moments from my apartment.

Why aren't there fantasy sites that incorporate the betting?Probably legal reasons, huh?

lets talk trademarks.

[strategy 4]

Like saying that Babe Ruth is the best baseball player, I have to go with the obvious choice and say In-n-Out is the best hamburger.A McDouble shouldn't be last though, right strategy?

I mean, the list is worthless. mcdonalds is really, really good and doesn't deserve to be last.backyard burgers is really one of the more unique fast food places (menu). was, unsurprisingly, always packed with country folk. I loved them so much, ate there like a billion times during my last semester. that franchise went out of business less than a month after I graduated... sigh...

but I mean strategy is near suicidal now right? he's the elain to my costanza.

...

[jeff_536 3]

Thoughts?STARTERS SLOT PLAYER, TEAM POSQB Matt Schaub, Hou QBRB Chris Johnson, Ten RBRB Jamaal Charles, KC RB  PRB/WR Leon Washington, Sea RBWR Hines Ward, Pit WRWR Santana Moss, Was WRTE Antonio Gates, SD TED/ST Dolphins D/ST, Mia D/STK David Akers, Phi KBENCH SLOT PLAYER, TEAM POSBench Cadillac Williams, TB RBBench David Garrard, Jac QBBench Devin Hester, Chi WRBench Devery Henderson, NO WRBench Jeremy Shockey, NO TEBench Bears D/ST, Chi D/STBench Kevin Walter, Hou WR

ugly receiving corp. I'd consider sitting Ward with Dixon playing, probably play hester or henderson instead. i'd also start Cadillac over Leon Washington until you see how the Sea RB situation works out.

[gobears 0]

I am getting staked in some tournaments, but I moved most of the stake to Stars, and shipped almost everything I had on Tilt back to the staker, because I really didn't need that much. I'm not going to play anything very big until I get decent at tournaments. I'm even so far, which is good news. I'm a terrible poker player, though, which is very, very bad news.

You should read some of the old strat advice from Iceman - now that guy knew poker

Thoughts?STARTERS SLOT PLAYER, TEAM POSQB Matt Schaub, Hou QBRB Chris Johnson, Ten RBRB Jamaal Charles, KC RB  PRB/WR Leon Washington, Sea RBWR Hines Ward, Pit WRWR Santana Moss, Was WRTE Antonio Gates, SD TED/ST Dolphins D/ST, Mia D/STK David Akers, Phi KBENCH SLOT PLAYER, TEAM POSBench Cadillac Williams, TB RBBench David Garrard, Jac QBBench Devin Hester, Chi WRBench Devery Henderson, NO WRBench Jeremy Shockey, NO TEBench Bears D/ST, Chi D/STBench Kevin Walter, Hou WR

Like Jeff said - your receivers are terrible. Hines Ward hasn't slipped yet but he's at that age where it could easily happen. I don't think that McNabb can save Santana's career. You might want to pick some receivers with upside as most of your guys with the exception of Hester (Martz) have mostly downside.

[brvheart 1,752]

10 Team PPR League. Standard, except passing TDs = 6.QB, RB RB, WR WR WR, TE, K, DEFQB Tony RomoQB Jay CutlerRB LeSean McCoyRB Matt ForteRB Felix JonesWR Andre JohnsonWR Calvin JohnsonWR Braylon EdwardsWR Terrell OwensWR Johnny KnoxWR Devin AromashoduWR Jacoby JonesTE Jermichael FinleyK/DEF (Irrelevant and random)

You got Calvin in the 3rd round?

Too bad we're not doing a Sickie League this year.

We are. Draft is Saturday. Someone *coughCanecough* should have taken the reins instead of just talking about it. Everyone should have an email.

Cant we get a sickie league going by Saturday and have a draft then?

Yes.

Had to post these obvy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXLzg6nPk94

I couldn't make it through the first one.

Discuss:

B-Bops needs to be on there, and A&W is too low. Also, like Wang already said, Carl's Jr and Hardee's having a different rating is weird.

Thoughts?

Nobody knows who is going to be good. (except Wang)

[Tactical Bear 3]

You got Calvin in the 3rd round?

No, I had the 5th pick, and took him in the 2nd round.

[runthemover 39]

me2: I'm in enough leagues as it is plus I can't do Saturdaysomeone: HE was in the sick league?napa: yea. I was thereme2: my thoughts are I can't figure out who you took with your 2nd and 3rd pickme3: (schaub or hines ward) and charles. duh.me2: I just meant I didn't like any of the possible 2nd and 3rd choicesnapa: yikesbrv: yes

[strategy 4]

B-Bops needs to be on there, and A&W is too low. Also, like Wang already said, Carl's Jr and Hardee's having a different rating is weird.

in my town, A&W is god awful.if it's a poll, I'm sure it has to do with carl's jr. being the superior brand. my buddy from california thought a LOT more of carl's jr. than I do of hardees.

[Tactical Bear 3]

The first (and maybe only) woman I ever loved:The first (and maybe only) woman I ever loved on her wedding day:Guess what, husband? I use to hit that shit alllll the time on the side. Your wife is a whore.

[LongLiveYorke 38]

Guess what, husband? I use to hit that shit alllll the time on the side. Your wife is a whore.

Ha! And look at those hairs on the back of his head. Completely out of place! And, what, a tuxedo on his wedding day? How incredibly cliche. And what's he doing with his hands? It looks like he's about to dunk her underwater to something. Hey, you tuxedo'd Alfalfa, turn down the Bon Jovi records and shut the f up!Ya know?