I Called In Sick Today

[IQCrash 1]

Sorry to hear about your grandfather, EG. My thoughts & prayers.

[El Guapo 8]

Sorry to hear about your grandfather, EG. My thoughts & prayers.

tx, back to you on your dad if I didn't say so already.

[beans-n-icewater 18]

honestly our gas bill went down like $30 the month after I turned that sucker down. it was wasting infinite just keeping the water at whatever absurd temperature he had it set to.

Oh, I dont doubt it....That wasnt what I found funny though

I think it was the word "singlehandedly".....

Yeah, dont ask me whyI did blame it on the beer

It's very hard to celebrate life when death is around.

Hang tough....I will tell you that if by some miracle I make it to ninety one (one in five trillion shot) Ill be more than ready to leave this cesspool. Hell, Im almost forty and damn near ready nowI guess what Im trying to say is hes had a good long life and that should be celebrated instead of more than likely sounding like a jerk or something

He's almost 91. He had a good run.I know that sounds dickish, but it's my outlook. Best wishes

....or I could have remembered I quoted this and skipped my drunken crap aboveChris wins again

yeah, if they make it to 91 there is really no need to be sad. just raise your beer and salute the motherfucker.

And Suited I guess...In other breaking news, I just left a grocery store that has grape jelly and other assorted items broken all over the floorIll be lucky if the police isnt here in the next fifteen minutesStory to follow after I calm the wife down a might

[El Guapo 8]

....or I could have remembered I quoted this and skipped my drunken crap above

Hang out tonight, I will be posting like chrozzo by 10:00 pst.

[runthemover 39]

thanks for the advice/info, BCice. I already told the management to have them look at it but yea moving it to B did the trick. And, it is gas fyi.

[hank213 1,823]

Aniston's character in The Breakup pisses me off every time I watch it.

[beans-n-icewater 18]

Hang out tonight, I will be posting like chrozzo by 10:00 pst.

Ill look forward to it....I speak/read perfect drunk

thanks for the advice/info, BCice. I already told the management to have them look at it but yea moving it to B did the trick. And, it is gas fyi.

Anytime...Tell the management to hang on to that relic. The Smithsonian will be interestedOk, to set the tone of the evening.... I have been boozing since ten thirty this morning. That pretty much covers it except for the wife having a cold, the kid is a typical back taking teenager, and I had to do manual labor in the form of using a shovel for over an hour this eveningWith that known, it will be no surprise what took place less than forty five minutes agoThe wife and I took off in one of my favorite cars for a bite to eat at her favorite joint called the Marketplace. Along the way she complained nonstop about the loud music, exhaust, and cool air pouring out the vents at the approximate temperature of one hundred and ninety degrees. Once at the place, the line was out the door and into the parking lot so she decided to backtrack to a mexican joint she also likes. Insert nonstop griping here, tooSo after four large DosXX drafts and some sort of cat meat in a tortilla, we leave and head toward home. Now Im really buzzed and somehow forget how to operate the seven speed transmission along the way. The resulting stall in the middle of an intersection caused a multitude of honks, screams, cursing, and violent threats from other drivers, but mostly from the one in my passenger seat. I finally figured out the overdrive was disengaged and left the scene in a cloud of P315/40/17 tire smoke. The best was yet to comeThe last minute stop at the grocery store was the final nail. Gimme a minute.... someones at the gate

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

Aniston's character in The Breakup pisses me off every time I watch it.

you've actually watched that movie more than once. for shame.

[donk4life 34]

Aniston's character in The Breakup pisses me off every time I watch it.

Yeah but she was really good in.... umm... errr... nevermind.

[Voldemort 0]

Went to see my grandpa again today. He is not doing well at all. I pulled the Nurse aside and she told me his prognosis is "not good". The hardest part is the my whole family is in denial. They all think he can turn around. It's not going to make it any easier on anyone when he finally passes with this thought process. He now has a DNR order and is not hooked to anything. I got some lucidity out of him when my son snuck in the room with me, and right when I left.He smoked for like 60 years and is almost 91 (the 28th will be his b-day if he makes it) he has a mass in his chest that is growing that is 99% cancer but he doesn't want any tests run, because they are not going to do anything if it is cancer anyway at this point. It is had to get that news no matter how much you already knew the truth. I am drinking and have been a blithering idiot on and off today.It's my daughters 1st b-day party tomorrow (technically the 19th). The irony is my Nana passed away a few days before my sons 1st b-day.It's very hard to celebrate life when death is around.Sorry I am being so morose. Carry on.

My grandpas funeral was today. For those that do not know, he died Wednesday, his b-day was today and he would've been 89.He ran a great race.Nice service and glad it is over.GL Guapo.

[Voldemort 0]

The last minute stop at the grocery store was the final nail. Gimme a minute.... someones at the gate

Go on.....

[Voldemort 0]

Alec Baldwin hosting SNL.He is playing the 4th Jonas Brother......so far.

[El Guapo 8]

My grandpas funeral was today. For those that do not know, he died Wednesday, his b-day was today and he would've been 89.He ran a great race.Nice service and glad it is over.GL Guapo.

Condolences my friend.

[El Guapo 8]

I've drank a 5th of captain so far, not really feeling anything yet. I have not drank in a while, figured I would get drunk easy. Guess the old genes prevail. I am getting full.

[Napa_Don 688]

Son of a bitch, I just can't not not go to my computer when I'm really drunk. I went out with some friends, one of them being Mark. When we were at a bar that has a popcorn machine that you can self serve yourself popcorn some guy accused me of throwing popcorn at him. He tapped on my shoulder and said "Hey, did you throw popcorn at me? Because I don't appreciate it." I then did my best Good Will Hunting impression and said "No, I did not throw popcorn at you, as you can see I have no popcorn dish in my hand, but if you have a problem we can take it outside.". He then accused me of it again and I again said that it wasn't me, but we could solve it outside if he wanted to. For the record this guy was about my height, maybe a little taller, and a lot fatter than I am. It was about this point where the guy accused me again and my friend Mark turned around and we both just stared him down while I told him, once again, we can solve this outside if necessary. It was about this time that he started acting all buddy buddy with us and then eventually walked away.I felt like a bad ass. GFY.

[El Guapo 8]

Son of a bitch, I just can't not not go to my computer when I'm really drunk. I went out with some friends, one of them being Mark. When we were at a bar that has a popcorn machine that you can self serve yourself popcorn some guy accused me of throwing popcorn at him. He tapped on my shoulder and said "Hey, did you throw popcorn at me? Because I don't appreciate it." I then did my best Good Will Hunting impression and said "No, I did not throw popcorn at you, as you can see I have no popcorn dish in my hand, but if you have a problem we can take it outside.". He then accused me of it again and I again said that it wasn't me, but we could solve it outside if he wanted to. For the record this guy was about my height, maybe a little taller, and a lot fatter than I am. It was about this point where the guy accused me again and my friend Mark turned around and we both just stared him down while I told him, once again, we can solve this outside if necessary. It was about this time that he started acting all buddy buddy with us and then eventually walked away.

If you don't want this to happen stop offering to blow guys in the parking lot.

[IQCrash 1]

My grandpas funeral was today. For those that do not know, he died Wednesday, his b-day was today and he would've been 89.

Sorry to hear that, brother. Seems like there's a lot of this going around recently. Troubling.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Sorry to hear that, brother. Seems like there's a lot of this going around recently. Troubling.

Not enough to in my work neighborhood.Condolences VoldyI have sneaking suspicion that Napa was indeed throwing popcorn at this kid.And offering to take it outside a third time? That's someone who clearly doesn't want to fight. If you weren't throwing popcorn at him, after the 2nd time, you should've said "if you come over and accuse me of throwing popcorn at you one more time, I'm gonna put your head through the popcorn machine."

[jeff_536 3]

Turned it around the at the casino yesterday. 1/2 NL $100 max buy in, up 180 in five hours.Big hand was turning the nut flush vs. a guy who flopped the J-high.

[speedz99 145]

I'm feeling pretty good and think I can make it the whole winter season without getting sick. My plan? Stay hydrated at all times.

That's a stupid plan.

The following sick threaders are virgins:RocketDougThat is all.

Congrats. More details, please.

I generally dislike drinking games, but last night ended up playing asshole while drinking harpoon IPA and dogfishhead's 60 minute IPA, mixed with intermittent shots of Patron. I only had 7 beers, not sure how much tequila, but all I remember is feeling pretty good before driving home and then waking up at 9 still pretty drunk. 90 minutes later I feel amazing, just a bit buzzed, but dreading having to go buy shit for the girlfriend today. What a stupid a fucking day Valentines is.

This V-Day was my 10th year anniversery of getting arrested, so my (single) friends and I celebrated by playing a lot of beer pong and then getting way too high in the same van that we were smoking in when we got arrested. After smoking, I was extraordinarily fucked up, and took the dog for her last walk of the night. About a 1/4 mile down the street I realized that it was really, really dark...darker than usual at midnight...and started freaking out. I had stood in the middle of the road, scared shitless, for about 2-3 minutes before the dog hit my leg with her paw and gave me a "what the shit are you doing" look. It was great. Also, during one of the beer pong games my roommate got pissed and was about to do a chair-toss in my direction, but the dog started barking at him and made it clear that he wasn't to do anything to me. It was awesome...I'm not sure how I'm going to give this one up. When she's done playing and about to take a nap, she likes to walk up to people and put her arms around their shoulders in a big hug so she can get pet for a few minutes. It's very endearing.

We were going to eat at a restaurant called Paolo & Bill. I intended to order the baked brie in phyllo and raspberry with pecans, grapes and apple to start, followed by the stone-baked margherita pizza which feature roma tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, caramelised onions and of course, basil. Hopefully we will go there another time because I still realllllly want to eat that stuff.

I think you'd like the restaurants in Ithaca...there's a ton of very nice ones, and all of them have legit vegetarian/vegan/organic options. One of the nights I had baked brie with a warm apple chutney and toasted focaccia that was delicious.

In other breaking news, I just left a grocery store that has grape jelly and other assorted items broken all over the floor

That's a great way to put it. I just left a kitchen that no longer has a number of food items that didn't belong to me.

And offering to take it outside a third time?

I had this thought.

[loogie 115]

That's a stupid plan.

I'm still not sick but constantly need to pee.

[speedz99 145]

I'm still not sick but constantly need to pee.

It's a fair trade.

[speedz99 145]

Did anyone else want to vomit during the dunk contest winner announcement 'ceremony'? I'm not sure if it was the awkwardness of the speech leading up to the envelope opening or the american idol fan vote...but either way, it made me want to punch the ad wizards that came up with that one right in their collective pie-holes.

[Dawson Leery 12]

Aniston's character in The Breakup pisses me off every time I watch it.

She's a typical woman in that movie, so of course she's crazy. And the break up is a phenomenal movie.Napa was for sure throwing popcorn at that guy

[Randy Reed 0]

We just bought a mannequin, any suggestions on what to name her?

Daisy and you can always say, "Who's your Daisy?"

nice, true love is in the air.

He's almost 91. He had a good run.I know that sounds dickish, but it's my outlook. Best wishes

Here here.

My grandpas funeral was today. For those that do not know, he died Wednesday, his b-day was today and he would've been 89.He ran a great race.Nice service and glad it is over.GL Guapo.

sorry man, or well, whoever you are.

That's a stupid plan.Congrats. More details, please.This V-Day was my 10th year anniversery of getting arrested, so my (single) friends and I celebrated by playing a lot of beer pong and then getting way too high in the same van that we were smoking in when we got arrested. After smoking, I was extraordinarily fucked up, and took the dog for her last walk of the night. About a 1/4 mile down the street I realized that it was really, really dark...darker than usual at midnight...and started freaking out. I had stood in the middle of the road, scared shitless, for about 2-3 minutes before the dog hit my leg with her paw and gave me a "what the shit are you doing" look. It was great. Also, during one of the beer pong games my roommate got pissed and was about to do a chair-toss in my direction, but the dog started barking at him and made it clear that he wasn't to do anything to me. It was awesome...I'm not sure how I'm going to give this one up. When she's done playing and about to take a nap, she likes to walk up to people and put her arms around their shoulders in a big hug so she can get pet for a few minutes. It's very endearing.I had this thought.

sounds like an awesome dog, just keep her.

I'm still not sick but constantly need to pee.

Yeah, dieting and all i've been drinking lots of water and coffee and this is the downfall.