I Called In Sick Today

[speedz99 145]

Most nutrition bars still have tons of sugar and bad carbs and other crap filler. They aren't healthy at all. They're usually very, very similar to a similar-portioned candy-bar. They are "Candy bars masquerading as (pretending to be) health food." Because they are not health food. They are candy bars. As such, it turns out that, in the end, all things considered, there is but one faggot here (you).

I never claimed that nutrition bars are healthy. It was and still is my contention that they are far healthier for the standard fatass than a similar-portioned candy bar. Let's take a quick look, shall we? I'll use a snickers bar and a powerbar for my example. Snickers has 250% more fat, 900% more saturated fat, 56% more total sugars, and slightly less carbs than the harvest crisp power bar. I know you and your faggot minions love low carb diets, but that much fat still makes a huge difference as far as standard US obesity goes.And must I explain again how the fact that these healthier foods are mashed into bar form and made to vaguely resemble candy with the sugars and crap fillers (even though they taste more like shit sandwiches) make them "Health food masquerading as (pretending to be) candy bars."?It looks as if, as far as faggotry goes, you take the proverbial cock cake with hairy ballsac icing.

[ShakeZuma 585]

A 220 caloried Oatmeal Raisin Slimfast bar has 35g(!) carbohydrates, and only 1g of dietary fiber. There are 28g of sugar and sugar alcohols. A 2 oz. Snickers bar has 271 calories, and 35g(!) of carbohydrates, 1g of dietary fiber, and 29g of sugar and sugar alcohols. Huh.WELCOME TO FAGGOTVILLECENSUS BREAKDOWN FOR FAGGOTVILLE, USARESIDENTS: 1NAME: SPEEDZ99SEXUAL ORIENTATION of RESIDENTS OF FAGGOTVILLE, USA - Heterosexual: 0% - Faggot: 100%

Pure Protein Smores flavor protein bar: Calories: 180, Total Fat: 5g, Saturated fat: 3.5 g, Total Carbohydrate: 19g, Sugars: 0g, Protein: 19gyou sir, are eating the wrong protein bars. but I do summer in faggotville, so there could be that

[speedz99 145]

A 220 caloried Oatmeal Raisin Slimfast bar has 35g(!) carbohydrates, and only 1g of dietary fiber. There are 28g of sugar and sugar alcohols. A 2 oz. Snickers bar has 271 calories, and 35g(!) of carbohydrates, 1g of dietary fiber, and 29g of sugar and sugar alcohols.

Someone make this guy a "Faggots Like Me Hate Carbs!" t-shirt. Maybe add a "But fats are sweet!" caption on the back.Don't forget the exclamation marks.

[Randy Reed 0]

7 User(s) are reading this topic (2 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)5 Members: Randy Reed, Tactical Bear, RhinestoneCowboy, Ouch-8s, veritas esthmm newbie, are we going to be graced with your first post at the sickie thread?

[Ouch-8s 4]

hey, how does popcorn fit into the carb/sugar/fat/calorie breakdown? because i'm making some now.:gettingcomfyface:

[ShakeZuma 585]

hey, how does popcorn fit into the carb/sugar/fat/calorie breakdown? because i'm making some now.:gettingcomfyface:

I don't know, but I have a massive case of gas right now

[Tactical Bear 3]

I never claimed that nutrition bars are healthy. It was and still is my contention that they are far healthier for the standard fatass than a similar-portioned candy bar. Let's take a quick look, shall we? I'll use a snickers bar and a powerbar for my example. Snickers has 250% more fat, 900% more saturated fat, 56% more total sugars, and slightly less carbs than the harvest crisp power bar. I know you and your faggot minions love low carb diets, but that much fat still makes a huge difference as far as standard US obesity goes.And must I explain again how the fact that these healthier foods are mashed into bar form and made to vaguely resemble candy with the sugars and crap fillers (even though they taste more like shit sandwiches) make them "Health food masquerading as (pretending to be) candy bars."?It looks as if, as far as faggotry goes, you take the proverbial cock cake with hairy ballsac icing.

Insulin response is pretty much all that matters. I can NOT emphasize this enough. Insulin response is pretty much all that matters. I won't get into it any further, but insulin response is pretty much all that matters. If you can control your insulin response levels, you can control your weight, everything else be damned. You have yet to persuade me that these nutrition bars resemble "health food" more than they do "candy bars." They do, however, claim to be "health food." Hence, my original statement: "Candy bars masquerading as (pretending to be) health food." On a separate note, I just held my Fag-O-Meter 3000 up to your last post, and the needle was in the red area marked "Faggiest Fag that Ever Fagged- Probability of Faggotry = 99+%"

Pure Protein Smores flavor protein bar: Calories: 180, Total Fat: 5g, Saturated fat: 3.5 g, Total Carbohydrate: 19g, Sugars: 0g, Protein: 19gyou sir, are eating the wrong protein bars. but I do summer in faggotville, so there could be that

I'm in total maintenence mode. I need some carbohydrates to keep my brain functioning, and for glycogen resynthesis since I'm pretending to work out nowadays. If I'm cutting weight, I pretty much always eat the Pure Protein or AdvantEdge bars with near zero carb/sugar content. And lots of eggs. At this point, I simply am trying not to eat 2 entire turkeys each day.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

On a separate note, I just held my Fag-O-Meter 3000 up to your last post, and the needle was in the red area marked "Faggiest Fag that Ever Fagged- Probability of Faggotry = 99+%"

Life goal: Reach 100%Action plan: Do research on nutrition bars and candy bars. Subscribe to word of the day e-mails. Debate.

[speedz99 145]

Insulin response is pretty much all that matters. I can NOT emphasize this enough.

Oh, I'm pretty sure you can.

[Jeepster80125 0]

So I guess I need to work on my insulin response if I want to lose weight, or be a faggot. Or Jewish.I don't know which, I'm so confused.

[Jariso13 1]

Im all about insulin...

[ShakeZuma 585]

So I guess I need to work on my insulin response if I want to lose weight, or be a faggot. Or Jewish.I don't know which, I'm so confused.

actually I think you're just supposed to eat candy bars.or move to some town in massachussets or something.

[Amplifi3d 0]

I called in sick once but then the boss called my cellphone and I answered and BOOM, I'm fired.

[ShakeZuma 585]

I called in sick once but then the boss called my cellphone and I answered and BOOM, I'm fired.

you're not allowed to answer your phone when you're sick?

[Tactical Bear 3]

I called in sick once but then the boss called my cellphone and I answered and BOOM, I'm fired.

Did you answer too cheerily? Or with the line, "Feeling fine, feeling fine, spill it faggot; it's your dime!"Even if it was the second one, you could've just coughed twice and been off the hook (heezy).

[Denny Crane 0]

Sorry for your loss.

yeah, me too, but I can't promise that I won't drink and drive, sadly

Ron, you missed a really solid football game.

Oddly, I found myself watching a little of it. Feeley looked good, which irritated me as a Phins fan, but then I saw the highlights and he had bookend pics, and I remembered that HE WAS, WHO I THOUGHT HE WAS.

[gay-o-meter 0]

On a separate note, I just held my Fag-O-Meter 3000 up to your last post, and the needle was in the red area marked "Faggiest Fag that Ever Fagged- Probability of Faggotry = 99+%"

I've seen a bigger reading. Trust me.but all this diet bar talk rates an 8.7

[gay-o-meter 0]

yeah, me too, but I can't promise that I won't drink and drive, sadly

me either, even though it's the smart thing to do. I'd like to think I never get polluted and do it, just buzzed. Ughh. Ok, no more, hopefully.

[mln_falcon 0]

Sorry for your loss Lolli, hope everyone else is ok.Speedz and Ouch, love your work.

[Ouch-8s 4]

Speedz and Ouch, love your work.

we hurt the fastest

[Tactical Bear 3]

we hurt the fastest

...

[Lolli 0]

OH COME ON!My friend dies... and my bra strap breaks?? All in the same week?? WTFWhats next? Im gonna trip over my shoe laces and land in dog poo?

[CardWarfare 4]

listening to Jay-Z and doing research on advanced baseball modeling metrics (Markov Chains)?

I thought I had quoted the other post you made about listening to some artist other than Jay Z before going up to the girl. Clearly a mistake. Since pretty much all of Jay-Z's songs are about how awesome he is, and pretty much all of them rule, I would just go with one of those as a pick up line. While wearing the headphones, and doing the white-boy-rapping-hand-up-and-down-in-the-air move with your eyes closed.

I like the taste of diet bars. They're really just candy bars masquerading as health food. Some people are delusional about the nutritional benefits of Zone Bars and Slim Fast Bars and PowerBars and all that shit, but I'm not. They simply have 220 calories, and some fake-ish sugars that make them slightly less awful for one's health than, say, a Snickers bar. Wang: "Check THIS out!" (unzips fly, removes penis)Girl: "Wow. That looks like every other penis I've ever seen."Wang: "High five!"Girl: "I'm reacting very abnormally to this situation."Wang: "High five?"Girl: (shrug) "Sure." (high five)Wang: "High Five!!"

That's better (fyp).

I was going to FYP this with something about sminking, but you beat me to it with something better. Chalk one up to the jews.

Did you answer too cheerily? Or with the line, "Feeling fine, feeling fine, spill it faggot; it's your dime!"Even if it was the second one, you could've just coughed twice and been off the hook (heezy).

This may be the hardest I've laughed at a post in the pathetically long time I've been hanging out on this forum.

[qyayqi 11]

OH COME ON!My friend dies... and my bra strap breaks?? All in the same week?? WTFWhats next? Im gonna trip over my shoe laces and land in dog poo?

*hugs*and we're here to support you in your hour of braless need.

[Lolli 0]

*hugs*and we're here to support you in your hour of braless need.

Well obviously Im gonna need the support since my bra has just given up and left me hanging.