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I Called In Sick Today


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Wait, are you telling me that kind of shennanigans, tomfoolery, ballywho is illegal?Also, I've watched Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail in the span of two weeks.I did mention that I'm straight, male, and single right? Ok good.
It seems so. Even after she looked me in the eyes and said, "I wouldn't touch you with your penis." I thought that was a clear "take-me-now" message. I mean, she mentioned my penis...
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Also, I've watched Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail in the span of two weeks.
i have no problem with either of these movies.shame meg ryan went nuts with the plastic surgery.
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I'm pretty sure its in the moderators hand book that I can issue a warning for not being funny. I'll check the by-laws
me not funny?::tear:: :D hey, if I made anyone cry or become frantically emotionally unstable with my comments that caused them to take there "pills" or increase there blood pressure.I apologize.I"ll stay away from this topic "Chateau De Sexe"jst Warning, if you can't take any bullchet, don't dish it out. :club:
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me not funny?::tear:: :D hey, if I made anyone cry or become frantically emotionally unstable with my comments that caused them to take there "pills" or increase there blood pressure.I apologize.I"ll stay away from this topic "Chateau De Sexe"jst Warning, if you can't take any bullchet, don't dish it out. :club:
Hey, a goal is a dream with a deadline.
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The tubby lotion girl doesn't count, she has to be the one at the front desk.Also, aren't Tanning Salon front counter girls usually dumb as a post and recovering from being sluts in high school?I don't know why I'm giving you grief for this, I'm sure she's a lovely girl. I really have nothing better to do than to stir the pot. Besides, I'm pretty sure you take me with a pillar of salt anyway. At least you aren't like Theraflu and have your girlfriend mistaken for your daughter on a daily basis even though you are in your very early 20's. Hell, I don't even have a girlfriend, yet. 2007 is gonna change that. I'm moving to San Diego and I'm gonna bang all of Ricker's ex g/f's, on principle.I'm stunned that Andre actually watched My Super Ex. A little piece of me died when I read that and I still haven't seen Talledega Nights but I know the only part that gets me in the commercial is the "THAT JUST HAPPENED" part. That seems amusing.
You're all good in my book. I wouldnt have brought it up again if I cant take it, and you know that. Plus, you could say anything bad you want and I would still love you for sending me those pics of your thong wedgie... no, I got it right the first timeTime for me to get a job boys. I finally got a callback (magic bullet) from the accounting firm I interviewed with the first week of November. "Are you still interested in the position?" and "I want to bring you in this week to meet the other partners" means I'm solid right? Well, I'll find out at 2:30est. Love you,The Guy with the Ugly Girlfriend
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me not funny?::tear:: :D hey, if I made anyone cry or become frantically emotionally unstable with my comments that caused them to take there "pills" or increase there blood pressure.I apologize.I"ll stay away from this topic "Chateau De Sexe"jst Warning, if you can't take any bullchet, don't dish it out. :club:
This is funny for various reasons and I will talk about them for the pure hell of it. I didn't really see anyone get all that bent out of shape over your weak and lame attempt to troll a thread on the internet. What I found interesting is that you make comments about how the people in here have no lives. The people in here waste slow time at work socializing, that is it, nothing more. This thread is active during work hours yet slows down at night and on the weekends. Why? Because we actually do have lives. I think you get the reactions you get because you make little to no sense. You come here out of nowhere and start harassing Lori. Why? For fun? How is trolling and stalking a user on the internet not any more loserish than what you claim we all do in here? I think you have the bigger problem. Example:My day is like this.I get up, take a showe, go to work. I work for about 1-2 hrs and the rest of the day is just answering phone calls and talking to anyone that comes in. During that time I play poker, talk to people in this thread and 2 other threads on two other sites. At 5 I go home. I catch up with my wife, play with the cat, do some housework if needed. Then I watch TV, or go out, or work on the house, or play poker. Then I go to bed. Your day.I expect you get up, maybe shower, go to work. You do some work and decide to go to FCP and troll people in some thread. You leave work, eat dinner, jerk off to pictures of prarie dogs and then go to sleep and do it all over again.Taking away all the lame jokes I put in your day, the part that stands out is the part that has you go on the internet at work (I could be wrong, you could be jobless) and troll a thread full of people just hanging out entertaining each other at work. How utterly lame is that? I think it is sad to tell you the truth. Your enjoyment in life is being some lame ass retarded troll on the internet. Wow. How sad. So it's not in your best interest to continue to say we have no lives when in fact even if we didn't, we still will never be as lame as someone who trolls people on the internet.Plus your a fag.
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The tubby lotion girl doesn't count, she has to be the one at the front desk.Also, aren't Tanning Salon front counter girls usually dumb as a post and recovering from being sluts in high school?I don't know why I'm giving you grief for this, I'm sure she's a lovely girl. I really have nothing better to do than to stir the pot. Besides, I'm pretty sure you take me with a pillar of salt anyway. At least you aren't like Theraflu and have your girlfriend mistaken for your daughter on a daily basis even though you are in your very early 20's. Hell, I don't even have a girlfriend, yet. 2007 is gonna change that. I'm moving to San Diego and I'm gonna bang all of Ricker's ex g/f's, on principle.I'm stunned that Andre actually watched My Super Ex. A little piece of me died when I read that and I still haven't seen Talledega Nights but I know the only part that gets me in the commercial is the "THAT JUST HAPPENED" part. That seems amusing.
Yes. And I didn't even come CLOSE to splooging on her face. It's something I enjoy as a clear, direct end of a porn scene, but not something I'm comfortable asking a girl, let alone doing without her consent. Unless some trampy girl asks me when I'm 39 and on Spring Break in a rebuilt New Orleans- or on accident- I don't see it happening. And that's totally fine, because I think the only reason I'd enjoy it would be mentioning it afterwards to someone else, and the mild feeling of superiority I'll feel when I think, "Ha. This girl just let me defile her. I must be sooo much more worthy of love than her."She pulled the combo swallow/not-swallow act. She started, then stopped about halfway through, and I had to use a towel. Wang
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Yes. And I didn't even come CLOSE to splooging on her face. It's something I enjoy as a clear, direct end of a porn scene, but not something I'm comfortable asking a girl, let alone doing without her consent. Unless some trampy girl asks me when I'm 39 and on Spring Break in a rebuilt New Orleans- or on accident- I don't see it happening. And that's totally fine, because I think the only reason I'd enjoy it would be mentioning it afterwards to someone else, and the mild feeling of superiority I'll feel when I think, "Ha. This girl just let me defile her. I must be sooo much more worthy of love than her."She pulled the combo swallow/not-swallow act. She started, then stopped about halfway through, and I had to use a towel. Wang
Fascinating, so did you actually have the towel handy? If so, what's the smooth way to bring that agent along? Otherwise, exactly how funny did you look waddling around looking for one?
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Doesn't anyone play Sats to the Sunday Million? All day I have been waiting and NOTHING!
It picks up later in the week - the ones on Sunday morning have the most players (especially the turbo ones)
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Fascinating, so did you actually have the towel handy? If so, what's the smooth way to bring that agent along? Otherwise, exactly how funny did you look waddling around looking for one?
Well, we were at her place, in her room. So I'll address your question, but first I just thought of something:She shares her apartment another girl I went to highschool with, and she came home before I left. I knew her a little bit. We weren't friends or anything, but we had a few mutual friends and I'd see her at parties from time to time. Nice girl, but just traveled with a different crowd. We had sociology together, and I used to do the homeworks and pass them around before class, so everyone thought I was the biggest nerd in the world. Can you imagine this girl's reaction when a guy she hasn't seen since 2001 emerges from her friend's bedroom 5 and a half years later? I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.Girl: "Jess... Did you, uh?"Jess: "Yup."Girl: "Did Nerdy Derek- the captain of the debate team in hi-"Jess: "Mock Trial, too."Girl: "... the guy who was the captain of the debate team AND the mock trial team, did he just come out of your bedroom?"Jess: "Yup."Girl: "And now he dresses like a hobo. And has a beard."Jess: "Yup. Dropped out of college and gambles for a living. I think he either sells drugs or works for the government somehow."Girl: "What is going on?"Jess: "He hates Almond Joys."Girl: "What is going on?"Jess: "And Mounds."And since we were at her place, she just hopped up after a few seconds and grabbed me a big foofy girl towel. (My old reliable when I dated a girl who wouldn't swallow was a threadbare Snoopy World War I Ace beach towel.) I wish she'd made me search her apartment for one.Jess: "Why are you walking like that?"Wang: "Isn't it obvious? I don't want to drip semen on your carpet!"Wang
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You're all good in my book. I wouldnt have brought it up again if I cant take it, and you know that. Plus, you could say anything bad you want and I would still love you for sending me those pics of your thong wedgie... no, I got it right the first timeTime for me to get a job boys. I finally got a callback (magic bullet) from the accounting firm I interviewed with the first week of November. "Are you still interested in the position?" and "I want to bring you in this week to meet the other partners" means I'm solid right? Well, I'll find out at 2:30est. Love you,The Guy with the Ugly Girlfriend
You're good, right up until the part where they actually meet you. Oh wait, mention that co-ed fraternity. That should impress em good.Good luck
Yes. And I didn't even come CLOSE to splooging on her face. It's something I enjoy as a clear, direct end of a porn scene, but not something I'm comfortable asking a girl, let alone doing without her consent. Unless some trampy girl asks me when I'm 39 and on Spring Break in a rebuilt New Orleans- or on accident- I don't see it happening. And that's totally fine, because I think the only reason I'd enjoy it would be mentioning it afterwards to someone else, and the mild feeling of superiority I'll feel when I think, "Ha. This girl just let me defile her. I must be sooo much more worthy of love than her."She pulled the combo swallow/not-swallow act. She started, then stopped about halfway through, and I had to use a towel. Wang
pretty sure I stole that joke from you. Don't tell anyone. I know I told the story of my buddy who didn't have a towel handy and wiped up with his white undershirt, then was at a nightclub later in the week wearing the same undershirt, laundered hopefully, (he takes his shirt off alot) and when the club lights (blacklight) hit it, his shirt lit up like a Christmas tree and one of his co-workers (they are all cops) told him his shirt looks like a crime scene. Still makes me laugh.
Fascinating, so did you actually have the towel handy? If so, what's the smooth way to bring that agent along? Otherwise, exactly how funny did you look waddling around looking for one?
I like to snowball myself.
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Well, we were at her place, in her room. So I'll address your question, but first I just thought of something:She shares her apartment another girl I went to highschool with, and she came home before I left. I knew her a little bit. We weren't friends or anything, but we had a few mutual friends and I'd see her at parties from time to time. Nice girl, but just traveled with a different crowd. We had sociology together, and I used to do the homeworks and pass them around before class, so everyone thought I was the biggest nerd in the world. Can you imagine this girl's reaction when a guy she hasn't seen since 2001 emerges from her friend's bedroom 5 and a half years later? I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.Girl: "Jess... Did you, uh?"Jess: "Yup."Girl: "Did Nerdy Derek- the captain of the debate team in hi-"Jess: "Mock Trial, too."Girl: "... the guy who was the captain of the debate team AND the mock trial team, did he just come out of your bedroom?"Jess: "Yup."Girl: "And now he dresses like a hobo. And has a beard."Jess: "Yup. Dropped out of college and gambles for a living. I think he either sells drugs or works for the government somehow."Girl: "What is going on?"Jess: "He hates Almond Joys."Girl: "What is going on?"Jess: "And Mounds."And since we were at her place, she just hopped up after a few seconds and grabbed me a big foofy girl towel. (My old reliable when I dated a girl who wouldn't swallow was a threadbare Snoopy World War I Ace beach towel.) I wish she'd made me search her apartment for one.Jess: "Why are you walking like that?"Wang: "Isn't it obvious? I don't want to drip semen on your carpet!"Wang
Thank you
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I wish she'd made me search her apartment for one.
Best part of dating...Gettin in a quick snoop while she's in the can or kitchen I always looked for anti-biotics or other clues to her past. I could usually find her diary within three trips. Speed reading was a must.But since I've been married for many, many, many, many, many, many, years... I have to remember these details thru the mighty Wang I'll be over in the corner with a bottle
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