you know you're playing a fish when he says...

[flash420 0]

playing on a $1/2 NL, $100 max tableraise to 6 with AA, get reraised to 12 by a huge stack, i make it 42, get calledflop KQ4, i've got $80 left, I bet $40, he puts me all in, I call.I flip over my aces, he has KT. turn K, river T. fine, i lost, it's poker. but then he says "I put you on aces".

River rock right?! Buddy raises to $10 I make it $40 to go with KK. He calls with AQ offsuit. Funny story, he told me that he pu me on aces. I had double his stack. He nails AQ on the flop. I bet once he calls. I check the rest of the way, and have to fold to a bet on the river with another caller. Right on. I love it that you draw to three outs and bend me over the felt while your doing it.

[zimmer4141 0]

Um... Hi... my name is Fluffdog87.In stud, some guy calls down with AA and loses to lower 2 pair. Opponent's board was xx9945x "Well, I had a 10/13 chance to win."

[Timid 0]

Local B/M Commerce N/LBlinds:$2-$5Buy-in:$200Been sitting with fish for 5 hours as he watches me turn over only winners as I built my stack up to $1300. (No bluffs were caught.)Fish has a little over $900Dealt AJs UTGI make it $10.Drunk guy who just sat down makes it $20.Fish calls.I call.Flop:AJ9 (2 diamonds)I bet $20 (knowing drunk guy will raise.)Drunk guy makes it $60.Fish calls.I raise all in.Drunk guy folds.Fish calls.Shows AQ offsuit.Best part is when he gives me his $900 he tells the table, "I had to call."

[Timid 0]

Local B/M Commerce N/LBlinds:$2-$5$200 buy-inFish calls my all-in on the flop getting about 2.3 to 1 on his call.Board: (6710)He shows pocket 9s.After he loses he says, "Man I never hit my straights."The fish on his right says, "Yeah, but if you folded and it came, it would have been a bad fold."Fish nods his head in agreement.

[Timid 0]

Same place, same limits.Fish says the following during the night."I hate this dealer, he always makes me lose.""Asking for a set-up increases the chances of a jackpot" (badbeat jackpot.)"Man, I never win with AK"After losing his last buy-in for the night he says,"Everytime I play I lose and some lucky punk at the other table wins a jackpot. I'm so unlucky."

[Timid 0]

In Vegas at N/L $200-$500 spread buy-in$2-$5 blinds.After folding Jacks (faceup) to him as an over pair 15 minutes prior to this following hand.I get AKs UTGI make it $30 to go.He calls with 10,9 as well as 4 others.Flop 10, 5,4 (2 spades.)I bet $100.He raises all in for $120 more.Everyone else folds.I call and spike a King on the river.He gets upset and starts swearing and finally says my favorite,"No Respect. You kids have no respect. You know I had you beat and yet you still call."

[allinbluff35 0]

JustJim117: He had pot odds to keep bettting... Zeo: yup, and if no one else had a good enough hand to push him out, he draws out and wins

[leebs12 0]

this was late in the $5 mtt last night...im leebs120 trying to tell the guy he is dumb, and he just kept on going -even against quad kings i had runner runner outs- That stuff was greatmy "anything suited is layable" was sarcasm...for the record.

[leebs12 0]

bump

[gkunit20 1]

my "anything suited is layable" was sarcasm...for the record.

I didn't know it was even possible to have sex with playing cards.

[Timid 0]

2 hours ago at Commerce $200 N/L $2-$5 blindsManaic's abounding of courseFish in seat 6 playing weak-tight with any hand but a nut-flush draw he pushes all in ($800 into $30 pots etc.)He is joking around with the table until I break his spirit by calling his $100 bluff with A3 on the river on a board of (KJ3, K, 4.)Then:He limps 2nd under the gun when I'm small blind.I look down at AA and see 6 limpers.I make it $50 more.He pushes all-in for $450. Everyone folds.I call.Flop: J109, (2 spades)Turn:8sRiver:10He flips the speedlimit and I'm shocked that I take down the pot.Best part: he gets up to leave shaking his head and says, "Man, you only get goods hands."Except for the A3 hand, I had only shown 4 winners in 5 hours of play.

[Warbow 0]

I’m playing a home game $10 buy-in winner takes all, basically a 10 player Sit and Go. I’m getting low on chips, not desperate yet, but if the blinds go up I could be hurting. I’m the button and I pick up As,Qs. I’ve got a semi-tight passive player in the SB and a total fish (but extremely lucky) in the BB. It’s folded around the table to me. I 'd be happy with just the blinds, so I go all-in. SB calls and BB calls. Flop comes K, 8, J rainbow. SB checks, BB checks. I’m thinking, “I could still be good here.” Turn comes Ace. SB checks, BB bets, SB raises, BB calls. Now I’m thinking, “Not good!” The river comes 7. SB checks, BB checks. Time to turn the cards. SB flips over A,6. BB flips over pocket 7,s for trips. I flip over my A,Q.I lose it. I ask “How could you call on the turn?” She responds “I didn’t call on the turn, I bet!”“Yes and you were check raised!” “Did you think that your 7’s were good at that point?” “There were 4 overcards showing.”She answers “No, but there was one more card coming.”“What were the odds of it hitting?”“Apparently pretty good!” she croaks.“4%!!, 4%!!. Is 4% good odds?” (I know the odds are closer to 5% in this exact case but I wasn’t going to let her know that)She says “In this case it was.” as she smirks and stacks my chips.The sad thing is, the She in this story is my Mother-in-Law.

[Dratj 0]

Fish says " I win!"I say "No, I do there is 2 pair on the board and my ace kicker is good"Fish says "But I have three pair"No shit, this actually happened.

[rivers21 0]

g c c

[Guest XXEddie]

Fish says "  I win!"I say "No, I do there is 2 pair on the board and my ace kicker is good"Fish says "But I have three pair"No censored, this actually happened.

was his name JFarrell

[leebs12 0]

Fish says "  I win!"I say "No, I do there is 2 pair on the board and my ace kicker is good"Fish says "But I have three pair"No censored, this actually happened.

was his name Dreamclown?

[76clubs 0]

Fish says " I win!"I say "No, I do there is 2 pair on the board and my ace kicker is good"Fish says "But I have three pair"No censored, this actually happened.

was his name JFarrell

I have a friend who argued with us for like 5 minutes back when we were first starting to play poker that three pair was a real hand and had us all beat. LMAO

[76clubs 0]

my "anything suited is layable" was sarcasm...for the record.

I didn't know it was even possible to have sex with playing cards.

to quote you:+1

[Timid 0]

$2-$5 Commerce$200 buy-inI get KQ of hearts as a Loose Agressive player makes it $15 under the gun. Fish in seat one calls as well as me on the button.Flop 863 (2 hearts)It gets checked to me and since the LAG didn't bet the flop I figure she flopped a set and checked for the free card.Turn:4HLAG bets $60 and Seat 1 calls.I push in a raise of $300 more.LAG looks at me and sighs and folds (later told me it was pocket 3s.)Fish looks at me forever and is muttering, "The question is, does he want to gamble?" Its obvious he has the AH and is thinking of calling.After about 5 minutes (the other players were getting angry lol) he calls and the river blanks off.I show my hand and he shouts, "YES I KNEW HE WAS BLUFFING." and he flips AH QS. He thought I showed King high nothing.Best part at the end of the hand he says, "Man I had so many outs."I say, "like 7?"He says, "No, I had 15 outs."I say," yeah I miscounted"

[gkunit20 1]

Are all your posts in this thread?

[gkunit20 1]

Are all your posts in this thread?

[Timid 0]

Yes

[givalitl 0]

I had AJ, flop comes down J high with two hearts. The fish bets out and I raise, he calls. The turn brings the Qh. Fish goes all-in which seems "fishy." I said "You didn't hit that did you?" He says "Call, I don't have shit." Really making me feel like he has nothing so I call. He didn't have anything, river blank, and I scooped up the pot. Afterwards, his exact quote: "That was dumb of you to call with a jack."

[Spademan 94]

Nothing, while never blinking.

[Kuge 0]

Fish says " I win!"I say "No, I do there is 2 pair on the board and my ace kicker is good"Fish says "But I have three pair"No censored, this actually happened.

Ahahaha, that happened to me a couple of weeks ago, but the "fish" was my brother in that case. He had 33, was up against my gf who had 10 6 os. board was 74478. It was checked down the whole way, my brother says he won the pot with 2 pair, 3's and 7's. I then say...no, she won the pot with 2 pair 7's and 4's with 10 high kicker. He then replies, "No, I know I won this hand, she only has 10 high...". We argue for about 10 minutes, I end by asking him "What kind of game are you playing?"....he then said "Texas Hold'em"....