you know you're playing a fish when he says...

[Royal_Tour 0]

Thats why I have been losing all this time, I was trying to get to my flush with one suit instead of two! Dammit.What is his name and I will look for this dude on TV. He has to make a final table...

haha, i dunno. he wasnt a regular or anything it was a weekend guy.he just kept telling me how moneymaker was his favorite cuz he watches him on TV winning.. so obviously its the 03 WSOP re-runs which is even more hilarious that this guy has no idea its 2003 re-runs

[BeaverStyle 1]

niiiiiiice.

[starfit 0]

Dude please proof read before you post. You just look like a moron if you don't.*L*T*

OK Thank you.-moron

[rwood 0]

wow this needed a real bump it's been over a weektoday i was at my gf's house and her roomates boyfriend comes over(he knows i play poker) this convo ensuedme: suphim: hey man, how's pokerm: chill...h: yea i just deposited on bodog. man i love that site.m: yea it's chill i play there tooh: yea i like it because there i dont have to worry about my high pp's getting cracked as much, i mean at other sites im always worried but i havent got any bad beats from bodog. it's good software. m: nice, yea it's a good siteh: yea i guess it doesnt let the IDIOTS suck out w/ sooted cards and J6 and stuff. finally some place that isnt fixed. i'm playing there from now on. m: yea their software doesnt give bad beats very oftenh: yea it's cool that they make your big pairs win more...it was uncomfortable for me that someone could be so dead serious while speaking such idiotic sentences

[rayovac 0]

Me after raking a pot live in detroit.. I had AA and he had 55 and it was set over set, AI post flop.Him - "So whats your secret to being an aggro donk?"Me - "Donk? I raised preflop with Aces, you called. I flopped a set, and got all my money in with you drawing nearly dead. You were 18% to win pre flop, and 1% to win after the flop. How could you say that I'm a donk?"Him - "You raised with Aces preflop, any good player knows that aces lose when you raise with them pre flop..."

[XXEddie 0]

thank you for bumping btwearlier today at an $11 STT on stars some guy was trying to make us believe he plays 20/40 everyday at the 'Borgotta'

[armen13 0]

I just thougt this was funny....50$ 10 table on stars, after I check raise a short stack on the flop:"try playing please, mini-raising is NOT cute"all I could say was lol

[XXEddie 0]

god I love donks like thisPokerStars Game #7027328872: Tournament #35892993, $10.00+$0.50 Hold'em No Limit - Match Round I, Level I (10/20) - 2006/11/14 - 20:15:25 (ET)Table '35892993 2' 2-max Seat #1 is the buttonSeat 1: tobyph (1280 in chips) Seat 2: KevinJA8 (1720 in chips) tobyph: posts small blind 10KevinJA8: posts big blind 20*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to KevinJA8 [2d 4d]tobyph: calls 10KevinJA8: checks *** FLOP *** [8c 3h 9d]KevinJA8: checks tobyph: checks *** TURN *** [8c 3h 9d] [Ad]KevinJA8: checks tobyph: checks *** RIVER *** [8c 3h 9d Ad] [6s]KevinJA8: checks tobyph: checks *** SHOW DOWN ***KevinJA8: shows [2d 4d] (high card Ace)tobyph: shows [5s 7c] (a straight, Five to Nine)tobyph collected 40 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 40 | Rake 0 Board [8c 3h 9d Ad 6s]Seat 1: tobyph (button) (small blind) showed [5s 7c] and won (40) with a straight, Five to NineSeat 2: KevinJA8 (big blind) showed [2d 4d] and lost with high card Ace

[sixhands 0]

god I love donks like this*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 40 | Rake 0 Board [8c 3h 9d Ad 6s]Seat 1: tobyph (button) (small blind) showed [5s 7c] and won (40) with a straight, Five to NineSeat 2: KevinJA8 (big blind) showed [2d 4d] and lost with high card Ace

it's obvious he thought you were slow playing 10 7

[WallstreetMSU 0]

Me after raking a pot live in detroit.. I had AA and he had 55 and it was set over set, AI post flop.Him - "So whats your secret to being an aggro donk?"Me - "Donk? I raised preflop with Aces, you called. I flopped a set, and got all my money in with you drawing nearly dead. You were 18% to win pre flop, and 1% to win after the flop. How could you say that I'm a donk?"Him - "You raised with Aces preflop, any good player knows that aces lose when you raise with them pre flop..."

I bet you were playing at Motor City...that just sounds like what someone would say at motor city.

[Balloon guy 158]

god I love donks like this*** RIVER *** [8c 3h 9d Ad] [6s]KevinJA8: checks tobyph: checks *** SHOW DOWN ***KevinJA8: shows [2d 4d] (high card Ace)tobyph: shows [5s 7c] (a straight, Five to Nine)tobyph collected 40 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 40 | Rake 0 Board [8c 3h 9d Ad 6s]Seat 1: tobyph (button) (small blind) showed [5s 7c] and won (40) with a straight, Five to NineSeat 2: KevinJA8 (big blind) showed [2d 4d] and lost with high card Ace

Lucky for you he didn't fold, which would have set you up for a bad call later on.

[coesillian 0]

noob: I was first to talk pre flop on the button.hero: But the first person to talk is under the gun.noob: but it's still on the button.hero: no that would be the dealer, with the white chip that says dealer button on it.noob: oh yeah, makes sense.hero wins pot t[infinity] with common sense over any two cards

[the shank 0]

"i post on fcp"

[BeaverStyle 1]

No flush possibility:"You got the flush?"Oh, wait, that was during the WSOPME...

[XXEddie 0]

No flush possibility:"You got the flush?"Oh, wait, that was during the WSOPME...

I loved Chad's reaction to that"You got the flush?!?!?! Lon, I want in this game!"

[timwakefield 68]

PokerStars Game #7097490692: Tournament #35678818, $15.00+$1.50 Hold'em No Limit - Level X (400/800) - 2006/11/20 - 00:35:57 (ET)Table '35678818 112' 9-max Seat #5 is the buttonSeat 1: sandman201 (9739 in chips) Seat 2: AcesRUs99 (9444 in chips) Seat 3: kpmaxpo (4250 in chips) Seat 4: Improved (19580 in chips) Seat 5: bc38 (11700 in chips) Seat 6: mmustang82 (8260 in chips) Seat 7: TimWakefield (8681 in chips) Seat 8: sslick_rrick (8087 in chips) Seat 9: tajpokerbabe (2515 in chips) is sitting outsandman201: posts the ante 50AcesRUs99: posts the ante 50kpmaxpo: posts the ante 50Improved: posts the ante 50bc38: posts the ante 50mmustang82: posts the ante 50TimWakefield: posts the ante 50sslick_rrick: posts the ante 50tajpokerbabe: posts the ante 50mmustang82: posts small blind 400TimWakefield: posts big blind 800*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to TimWakefield [2c 3c]sslick_rrick: folds tajpokerbabe: folds sandman201: folds AcesRUs99: calls 800kpmaxpo: folds Improved: folds bc38: folds Improved said, "lol KQ off no good man, u shoulda known"mmustang82: folds TimWakefield: checks *** FLOP *** [3s 2h Jh]TimWakefield: checks AcesRUs99: checks *** TURN *** [3s 2h Jh] [Ah]TimWakefield: bets 1600AcesRUs99: calls 1600*** RIVER *** [3s 2h Jh Ah] [3d]TimWakefield: bets 2500AcesRUs99: calls 2500*** SHOW DOWN ***TimWakefield: shows [2c 3c] (a full house, Threes full of Deuces)sandman201 said, "3 and a half to one odds i knew i was behind"AcesRUs99: mucks hand TimWakefield collected 10650 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 10650 | Rake 0 Board [3s 2h Jh Ah 3d]Seat 1: sandman201 folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 2: AcesRUs99 mucked [Kh Ac]Seat 3: kpmaxpo folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 4: Improved folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 5: bc38 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 6: mmustang82 (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 7: TimWakefield (big blind) showed [2c 3c] and won (10650) with a full house, Threes full of DeucesSeat 8: sslick_rrick folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 9: tajpokerbabe folded before Flop (didn't bet)AcesRUs99 said, "unbelievable"AcesRUs99 said, "23 takes my AK"

[Shakey90 0]

sitting at a 1/2 game at a local casino waiting on a 125 sng to start ...first position raises to 20....5(FIVE) callers..i'm on the button with aces...push out 150...small blind looks at me and says..."i dont have anything but i have pot odds to call"...am i missing somthing here???? everyone else folds...he flips up J6 off suit...well i doubled up but my godso i'm on a freeroll in the sng which i took down for 700 woot woot

[XXEddie 0]

sitting at a 1/2 game at a local casino waiting on a 125 sng to start ...first position raises to 20....5(FIVE) callers..i'm on the button with aces...push out 150...small blind looks at me and says..."i dont have anything but i have pot odds to call"...am i missing somthing here???? everyone else folds...he flips up J6 off suit...well i doubled up but my godso i'm on a freeroll in the sng which i took down for 700 woot woot

you didnt miss anything, hes a donk

[profxavier9 0]

i cant win on pokerstars......jk actuary

[XXEddie 0]

From a home game last nightguy limps for 150, folds to me on the button and I raise to 550 with K8o knowing limper has a tendency to limp/fold. BB and limper callFlop is KJ8 they check to me and I throw out 1000. Limper callsTurn is a K and the limper pushes allin, I have about 5k left and he has me covered, I instacall and he shows AJFor the next 10 minutes he wont shut up about how lucky I got. He is acting like he had JJ and the K was a HUGE cooler

[Shakey90 0]

omg this just happened....we're down to 27 or 28 in one of the FTP DS 5 dollar sit and goes...anyone i'm second in chips with 23k and the guy to my right has 10k...blinds are 400/800...i'm in big blind he is in sb...its all folded around to us...and he limps i check my option..flop is 843..he checks i bet 3/4 pot with 86o...well he min check raises me to 2500...well i push figuring for two faces...he flips up aces....6 on the river and all of a sudden i'm a donk

[XXEddie 0]

PokerStars Game #7148922514: Tournament #36540737, $10.00+$0.50 Hold'em No Limit - Match Round I, Level II (15/30) - 2006/11/23 - 22:55:11 (ET)Table '36540737 1' 2-max Seat #2 is the buttonSeat 1: KevinJA8 (1435 in chips) Seat 2: atmsmcse (1565 in chips) atmsmcse: posts small blind 15KevinJA8: posts big blind 30*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to KevinJA8 [3c 6s]atmsmcse: calls 15KevinJA8: checks *** FLOP *** [Qd 4h Js]KevinJA8: checks atmsmcse: checks *** TURN *** [Qd 4h Js] [5h]KevinJA8: bets 60atmsmcse: calls 60*** RIVER *** [Qd 4h Js 5h] [9s]KevinJA8: bets 130atmsmcse: calls 130*** SHOW DOWN ***KevinJA8: shows [3c 6s] (high card Queen)atmsmcse: mucks hand KevinJA8 collected 440 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 440 | Rake 0 Board [Qd 4h Js 5h 9s]Seat 1: KevinJA8 (big blind) showed [3c 6s] and won (440) with high card QueenSeat 2: atmsmcse (button) (small blind) mucked [2d 3d]it was an instacall too

[James D 0]

it was an instacall too

I was just going to say that it was an obvious miss-click, or miss-read of the board....but then I checked his Sharkscope stats.

[BeaverStyle 1]

*** SHOW DOWN ***KevinJA8: shows [3c 6s] (high card Queen)atmsmcse: mucks hand KevinJA8 collected 440 from pot

I lol'd... must have been a misclick, but still, that's friekin hilarious.

[Wandigo 1]

PokerStars Game #7150689077: Tournament #36191811, $10+$1 Hold'em No Limit - Level VIII (200/400) - 2006/11/24 - 01:20:46 (ET)Table '36191811 22' 6-max Seat #3 is the buttonSeat 1: wandigo (13140 in chips) Seat 2: njdev09 (9943 in chips) Seat 3: LewisT (23540 in chips) Seat 4: TheMadTopper (6670 in chips) Seat 5: pokerdog2006 (28510 in chips) Seat 6: gamble (2525 in chips) wandigo: posts the ante 25njdev09: posts the ante 25LewisT: posts the ante 25TheMadTopper: posts the ante 25pokerdog2006: posts the ante 25gamble: posts the ante 25TheMadTopper: posts small blind 200pokerdog2006: posts big blind 400*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to wandigo [2s Th]gamble: folds wandigo: folds njdev09: folds LewisT: raises 800 to 1200TheMadTopper: folds pokerdog2006: raises 4800 to 6000LewisT: raises 4800 to 10800pokerdog2006 said, "wow"pokerdog2006 said, "Js any good?"wandigo said, "you don't have jacks."pokerdog2006 said, "yes i do"wandigo said, "love the drama tho"pokerdog2006 said, "but i think i have to fold them"wandigo said, "break time, gonna make a turkey sammich"pokerdog2006: folds LewisT collected 12350 from potLewisT: doesn't show hand LewisT: when i raise, i ll go to the end, ok?pokerdog2006: lolwandigo: hahahahahaLewisT: had 23LewisT: u?pokerdog2006: i doubt itwandigo: you guys are funpokerdog2006: i told u what i hadpokerdog2006: championship laydownLewisT: 23=33, you had jacks?LewisT: i dont think sopokerdog2006: its alrightpokerdog2006: think what u wantpokerdog2006: i'm comfortable with the playLewisT: thans for allowed meLewisT: i really had AKLewisT: i think i make a good move there, dont u?not sure why, but that line by LewisT cracked me up. Everyone at this table in my 6max mtt has been going at each other for the past half hr or so. It's really great entertainment.