you know you're playing a fish when he says...

[doox 15]

I get it - you go out of your way to be as rude as possible in order to get your kicks.Do you see what I did there ?The thread is what it is......if you don't like it, don't read it, but there is no need to be rude.

Yes, you've captured my very essence to a "T."Oddly enough, I figure that if a thread exists where the whole purpose of it is shown in it's title, then the replies people make should actually fit what the thread is about. In other words, when it's all about what a fish actually SAYS, maybe the replies should have examples where someone actually says something stupid in a poker hand. I couldn't agree with you more - the thread is what it is. So don't be surprised if people get annoyed when others try to make it something that it's not.

[donk4life 34]

Yes, you've captured my very essence to a "T."Oddly enough, I figure that if a thread exists where the whole purpose of it is shown in it's title, then the replies people make should actually fit what the thread is about. In other words, when it's all about what a fish actually SAYS, maybe the replies should have examples where someone actually says something stupid in a poker hand. I couldn't agree with you more - the thread is what it is. So don't be surprised if people get annoyed when others try to make it something that it's not.

You get annoyed over that? I hate to say this.. but get a god damn life..

[doox 15]

Although I know it killed you to say it, your stunning comeback has crushed my posting spirit. There's just no coming back from that one, so I'll slink off and crown you king of the forum.

[donk4life 34]

Although I know it killed you to say it, your stunning comeback has crushed my posting spirit. There's just no coming back from that one, so I'll slink off and crown you king of the forum.

That's not a comeback, i'm being completely serious..and you're a deusche bag..I have a sister in the hospital and until recently the doctors didn't know what she had.. that lasted a month.. THAT'S SOMETHING TO BE ANGERED AND ANNOYED WITH..What i said was not a comeback, I was being serious.

[doox 15]

Yet here you are giving a complete and total stranger an unwanted glimpse into your personal life on a poker forum, in a thread which has nothing to do with that. Perhaps you should take your own advice, so do something productive and spend time with your sister instead of slinging misspelled personal attacks. I won't taint this thread anymore by derailing it.

[donk4life 34]

Yet here you are giving a complete and total stranger an unwanted glimpse into your personal life on a poker forum, in a thread which has nothing to do with that. Perhaps you should take your own advice, so do something productive and spend time with your sister instead of slinging misspelled personal attacks. I won't taint this thread anymore by derailing it.

I visit my sister almost every day, and she lives 100 miles away, so don't jump to conclusions on how much time i spend with ehr.. I made a thread about my sister on the site because the doctors and my parents actually told me to, look it up if you want, it may be unwanted to some, but i'm just doing my best to help my sister..You already derailed it, you freaked over a miniscule thing...

[timwakefield 68]

You guys need to hug it out.

[untunga 0]

I take my anger out on the world wide web.

[finztotheleft 0]

You guys need to hug it out.

Nah. I'll hug Donk. Doox, the troll, has already offered to crawl back into his cave.You pitched a great one tonight, Tim

[timwakefield 68]

Kuge can attest to the fact that this happened.PokerStars Game #10124006752: Tournament #50597762, $30+$3 Hold'em No Limit - Level IX (300/600) - 2007/05/27 - 01:15:52 (ET)Table '50597762 35' 9-max Seat #9 is the buttonSeat 1: str8GRINDING (11780 in chips) Seat 2: Betudontbet (26901 in chips) Seat 3: MHiggy32 (16213 in chips) Seat 4: bluestreak16 (18751 in chips) Seat 6: CallMeDrFlop (5293 in chips) Seat 7: TimWakefield (7454 in chips) Seat 8: BIGDOG10 X (15695 in chips) Seat 9: jamesilst (4440 in chips) str8GRINDING: posts the ante 50Betudontbet: posts the ante 50MHiggy32: posts the ante 50bluestreak16: posts the ante 50CallMeDrFlop: posts the ante 50TimWakefield: posts the ante 50BIGDOG10 X: posts the ante 50jamesilst: posts the ante 50str8GRINDING: posts small blind 300Betudontbet: posts big blind 600*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to TimWakefield [Qs Qd]MHiggy32: folds bluestreak16: folds CallMeDrFlop: folds TimWakefield: raises 6804 to 7404 and is all-inBIGDOG10 X: folds jamesilst: folds str8GRINDING: folds Betudontbet: folds TimWakefield collected 1900 from potstr8GRINDING said, "i folded ak"*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 1900 | Rake 0 Seat 1: str8GRINDING (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 2: Betudontbet (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 3: MHiggy32 folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 4: bluestreak16 folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 6: CallMeDrFlop folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 7: TimWakefield collected (1900)Seat 8: BIGDOG10 X folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 9: jamesilst (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)He later said he "had his reasons for folding." Note that this is on the bubble....but even if he's gonna be that weak to fold ak on the bubble, HE HAS ME COVERED!!

[rogerwilco 0]

After open pushing a few times in a relatively short period of time with an M < 10 with noone calling me:Fish1 said, "hehe, at least you realize you suck and slamming requires no skill"Fish2 said, "this site is worst 4 that and u know that Fish1"Fish1 said, "true"Fish2 said, "look at these high octane flops"Fish2 said, "always a possible stght, flush or strght flush"Then, after I pushed from SB with A8 against Fish1 in BB who had an M of less than 3, and he called me with K6 and won:Fish1 said, "well played"Fish2 said, "doesnt seem like this at r home games"

[rogerwilco 0]

Another one that made me smile. After this awesome hand:PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em Tourney, Big Blind is t20 (9 handed) Hand History Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com (Format: FlopTurnRiver)MP3 (t1500)CO (t1870)Hero (t1470)SB (t1480)BB (t1200)UTG (t1480)UTG+1 (t1500)MP1 (t1500)MP2 (t1500)Preflop: Hero is Button with 6, J. 3 folds, MP2 calls t20, 1 fold, CO raises to t140, 3 folds, MP2 calls t120.Flop: (t310) K, 2, 6(2 players)MP2 checks, CO bets t320, MP2 raises to t640, CO raises to t1730, MP2 calls t720 (All-In).Turn: (t3400) 6(2 players, 1 all-in)River: (t3400) 3(2 players, 1 all-in)Final Pot: t3400Results in white below: MP2 has Th 7h (flush, king high). CO has Ac Ks (two pair, kings and sixes). Outcome: MP2 wins t3030. CO wins t370. 3nDrU said, "call that raise with 10 7 good play"MainFish [sic, that was his actual screen-name] said, "my favourite hand"MainFish said, "sorry mac"3nDrU said, "yes daniel negranu"MainFish said, "think his is 97"3nDrU said, "nah it's 10 7"MainFish said, "ok"MainFish said, "sure?"3nDrU said, "yer"MainFish said, "ok"MainFish said, "believe you"

[timwakefield 68]

Ok so I raise with QT in LP, all folded to BB who calls. Flop 424. He checks, I put out a standard c-bet, he raises, I obviously fold. He shows A2 offsuit. Me: Wow big hand there.Him: With that flop yes.

[doox 15]

Just had this happen in an omaha sng. This guy (satellity) had just been pouting and crying about getting outdrawn on the river a few times...I had told him, "Welcome to low-limit omaha hi-low."Full Tilt Poker Game #2548107426: $2 + $0.25 Sit & Go (19383181), Table 1 - 250/500 - Limit Omaha Hi/Lo - 23:12:42 ET - 2007/05/30Seat 1: getmeabeer (4,245)Seat 5: ridgecat (1,705)Seat 6: dooxtab (1,670)Seat 7: Fancy Fins (536)Seat 8: satellity (1,156)Seat 9: YOMAXX (4,188)ridgecat posts the small blind of 125dooxtab posts the big blind of 250The button is in seat #1*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to dooxtab [Jd Ah Jh Jc]Fancy Fins calls 250satellity foldsYOMAXX foldsgetmeabeer calls 250ridgecat foldsdooxtab checks*** FLOP *** [5h 2d 3c]dooxtab checksFancy Fins checksgetmeabeer checks*** TURN *** [5h 2d 3c] [Ac]dooxtab checksFancy Fins checksgetmeabeer checks*** RIVER *** [5h 2d 3c Ac] [4s]dooxtab checkssatellity: lolFancy Fins bets 286, and is all ingetmeabeer calls 286dooxtab has 15 seconds left to actdooxtab foldssatellity: raise*** SHOW DOWN ***Fancy Fins shows [2h 3s Kh 6c] (a straight, Six high)*** SHOW DOWN *** (5,4,3,2,A)getmeabeer shows [5s 8h Kd 3d] (a straight, Five high) (5,4,3,2,A)Fancy Fins wins the high pot (724) with a straight, Six highFancy Fins ties for the low pot (362) with 5,4,3,2,Agetmeabeer ties for the low pot (361) with 5,4,3,2,A*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 1,447 | Rake 0Board: [5h 2d 3c Ac 4s]Seat 1: getmeabeer (button) showed [5s 8h Kd 3d] and won (361) with HI: a straight, Five high; LO: 5,4,3,2,ASeat 5: ridgecat (small blind) folded before the FlopSeat 6: dooxtab (big blind) folded on the RiverSeat 7: Fancy Fins showed [2h 3s Kh 6c] and won (1,086) with HI: a straight, Six high; LO: 5,4,3,2,ASeat 8: satellity didn't bet (folded)Seat 9: YOMAXX didn't bet (folded)Then the conversation continued immediately afterwards:dooxtab: nosatellity: dudesatellity: it is splitdooxtab: ... I really fought the urge to educate him on how omaha requires you play 2 of your hole cards.

[joefoely 0]

$4/8 LimitBoard of Q 10 Q 10 xOne guy has Qx and the other guy has 10x10x Says:"Wow, that's like a hand you would see on TV"

[obizee 0]

This is a 180 4.40 in the first hour so play very loose especially at table i was at. All three loved to put their chips in and i knew that at least 3 of them would call. I had AA. one had 99 and hit a 9, then w/o me saying anything proceeded to talk including a gem.Seat 1: sal leonardi (731 in chips) Seat 2: Jesskun (1011 in chips) Seat 3: obizee (3030 in chips) Seat 4: Toby_Kallar (1529 in chips) Toby_Kallar: calls 50 utgal leonardi: calls 50 buttonJesskun: raises 50 to 100 sbobizee: raises 1700 to 1800 bbcraffe9 is connected Toby_Kallar: calls 1479 and is all-insal leonardi: folds Jesskun: calls 911 and is all-inJesskun said, "push that all in bish" obizee said, "are u talking smack after hitting a 2 outet? lol"Jesskun said, "what's wrong? Can't take some luck in a luck-based game? obizee said, "???, u keep thinking its a luck based game"Jesskun said, "Online it is kiddo. Muted."

[XXEddie 0]

too lazy to retype this, but it was funnyKevinJA8FCP (9:29:50 PM): oh, you gott hear this lol story from todayKevinJA8FCP (9:30:15 PM): so i had to leave for work in like 30 minutes, and decided to play 50nl for a bitgrassie09 (9:30:39 PM): 50 nl?KevinJA8FCP (9:30:37 PM): few hands in, i get JJ, MP limps, I make it 2, folds to limper who callsKevinJA8FCP (9:30:39 PM): yeahgrassie09 (9:30:44 PM): 25/50?KevinJA8FCP (9:30:42 PM): .25/.50grassie09 (9:30:50 PM): gotchaKevinJA8FCP (9:30:46 PM): no, 50 as in buyinKevinJA8FCP (9:31:00 PM): so flop is Q53 with two clubsKevinJA8FCP (9:31:36 PM): he throws out a bet of $5 with only $8 behindKevinJA8FCP (9:31:47 PM): im like 98% sure its either a Q or a FDKevinJA8FCP (9:32:09 PM): then i figured he was doing it to commit himself to his draw, else he would c/r with a Q so i could commit myselfKevinJA8FCP (9:32:17 PM): I raise the etra $8 he callsKevinJA8FCP (9:32:23 PM): river is a club and he shows 9c8cKevinJA8FCP (9:32:40 PM): out of no where he types...KevinJA8FCP (9:33:43 PM): 'JJ, lol. did you really think I was on a flush draw?KevinJA8FCP (9:33:50 PM): why would I try to buy a $4.5o pot?KevinJA8FCP (9:33:58 PM): 'that makes no sense'grassie09 (9:34:06 PM): lolKevinJA8FCP (9:34:20 PM): so im like 'I knew you had a flush draw, and made a good read'KevinJA8FCP (9:34:37 PM): 'yeah but im never folding'KevinJA8FCP (9:34:53 PM): 'youre right, why do i want you to fold when i am a 2-1 favorite'KevinJA8FCP (9:35:08 PM): then like 10 hands laterKevinJA8FCP (9:35:19 PM): he makes it $1.50 from the button, I call with Qd9d, 2 limpers also callKevinJA8FCP (9:35:29 PM): flop is 976, I check, everyone checksKevinJA8FCP (9:35:57 PM): turn is another 9, i check, lipers check, donk bets $4, i shove for like $18-ishgrassie09 (9:36:18 PM): j10 right?KevinJA8FCP (9:36:26 PM): no, een betterKevinJA8FCP (9:36:37 PM): he is debating and says 'wow, you really hit a 6 or 7'grassie09 (9:36:48 PM): hahaKevinJA8FCP (9:36:57 PM): then i say 'Ok, dude, you have AK, with is nothing, fold and stop wasting time'KevinJA8FCP (9:37:03 PM): 'I actually have AQ, but im calling'KevinJA8FCP (9:37:06 PM): and calls, I wingrassie09 (9:37:15 PM): hahagrassie09 (9:37:26 PM): thats awesomeKevinJA8FCP (9:37:28 PM): then he starts berating me about im umb for checking a 9 on the flopgrassie09 (9:37:50 PM): lolKevinJA8FCP (9:37:48 PM): hes ;ike 'most likely, a card higher than a 9 comes out'KevinJA8FCP (9:37:52 PM): im like really..?KevinJA8FCP (9:37:54 PM): he goes yeahKevinJA8FCP (9:38:10 PM): im like 'ok, AKQJT are higer than a 9 and 2345678 are lowergrassie09 (9:38:23 PM): lolKevinJA8FCP (9:38:20 PM): how does that work/KevinJA8FCP (9:38:43 PM): i then thank him for the gift and take offgrassie09 (9:39:30 PM): hahagrassie09 (9:39:33 PM): thats greatKevinJA8FCP (9:39:35 PM): i loved itKevinJA8FCP (9:39:36 PM): lol]

[Knollie919 0]

that was one of the funniest things ive heard lately

[timwakefield 68]

KevinJA8FCP (9:37:48 PM): hes ;ike 'most likely, a card higher than a 9 comes out'

[Knollie919 0]

PokerStars Game #10352326991: Tournament #52453248, $4.00+$0.40 Hold'em No Limit - Level II (15/30) - 2007/06/09 - 15:59:02 (ET)Table '52453248 14' 9-max Seat #4 is the buttonSeat 1: Goldtom1 (1860 in chips) Seat 2: MeisMasta (1790 in chips) Seat 3: NukeLaloosch (3830 in chips) Seat 4: Knollie919 (1350 in chips) Seat 5: BrotherPaolo (1290 in chips) Seat 7: Watte (450 in chips) Seat 8: RichardRRR (1860 in chips) Seat 9: maureencarol (1070 in chips) BrotherPaolo: posts small blind 15Watte: posts big blind 30*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Knollie919 [5s 5c]RichardRRR: folds maureencarol: folds Goldtom1: calls 30MeisMasta: calls 30NukeLaloosch: folds ReRaiser75 is connected Knollie919: raises 90 to 120BrotherPaolo: folds Watte: calls 90Goldtom1: calls 90MeisMasta: calls 90*** FLOP *** [Ac 9c 5h]Watte: checks Goldtom1: checks MeisMasta: bets 60Knollie919: raises 210 to 270Watte: folds Goldtom1: calls 270MeisMasta: raises 1400 to 1670 and is all-inKnollie919: calls 960 and is all-inGoldtom1: folds Knollie919 said, "lol"*** TURN *** [Ac 9c 5h] [Ts]*** RIVER *** [Ac 9c 5h Ts] [Jc]*** SHOW DOWN ***MeisMasta: shows [Qs Kc] (a straight, Ten to Ace)Knollie919: shows [5s 5c] (three of a kind, Fives)Knollie919 said, "so sick"MeisMasta collected 3225 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 3225 | Rake 0 Board [Ac 9c 5h Ts Jc]Seat 1: Goldtom1 folded on the FlopSeat 2: MeisMasta showed [Qs Kc] and won (3225) with a straight, Ten to AceSeat 3: NukeLaloosch folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 4: Knollie919 (button) showed [5s 5c] and lost with three of a kind, FivesSeat 5: BrotherPaolo (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 7: Watte (big blind) folded on the FlopSeat 8: RichardRRR folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 9: maureencarol folded before Flop (didn't bet)Knollie919: so sickDealer: Game #10352326991: MeisMasta wins pot (3225) with a straight, Ten to AceDealer: Knollie919 finished the tournament in 142nd placeKnollie919 [observer]: great playDealer: ReRaiser75 was moved from another table and will be allowed to play after the buttonMeisMasta: i know it was badMeisMasta: i had a pokerstars feeling about it

[Money022 0]

Don't have the HH but it basically goes like this.I have QTs and have a broadway straight on the turn. I'm also redrawing to the nut flush. A player makes a raise and I put him all-in, which he calls. He flips QTos and we end up splitting the pot.Afterwards he tells me I'll have to try a lot harder to get his chips in the pot. Which is right after he called my all-in. Then he goes on to tell me how dumb I was to push being that it was going to be a split pot.

[DoinSublime 0]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.PokerStars Game #10378230361: Tournament #52339265, $10+$1 Hold'em No Limit - Level I (10/20) - 2007/06/11 - 03:08:20 (ET)Table '52339265 46' 9-max Seat #9 is the buttonSeat 1: kRaZy Eyes95 (860 in chips) Seat 2: Toaster11 (1470 in chips) Seat 3: martinms (2150 in chips) Seat 4: DoinSublime (1470 in chips) Seat 6: crazyeyebob (3020 in chips) Seat 7: yes777 (3710 in chips) Seat 8: whackstacks (1460 in chips) Seat 9: DaBearMan (810 in chips) kRaZy Eyes95: posts small blind 10Toaster11: posts big blind 20*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DoinSublime [Ts Jd]martinms: calls 20DoinSublime: folds crazyeyebob: calls 20yes777: raises 180 to 200whackstacks: folds DaBearMan: folds kRaZy Eyes95: folds Toaster11: folds martinms: calls 180crazyeyebob: calls 180*** FLOP *** [6h 4d Kh]martinms: checks crazyeyebob: checks yes777: bets 100martinms: raises 260 to 360crazyeyebob: folds yes777: raises 3150 to 3510 and is all-inmartinms: calls 1590 and is all-in*** TURN *** [6h 4d Kh] [9d]*** RIVER *** [6h 4d Kh 9d] [4h]*** SHOW DOWN ***martinms: shows [6s Ks] (two pair, Kings and Sixes)yes777: shows [Qs Qh] (two pair, Queens and Fours)martinms collected 4530 from potyes777 said, "lol"*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 4530 | Rake 0 Board [6h 4d Kh 9d 4h]Seat 1: kRaZy Eyes95 (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 2: Toaster11 (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 3: martinms showed [6s Ks] and won (4530) with two pair, Kings and SixesSeat 4: DoinSublime folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 6: crazyeyebob folded on the FlopSeat 7: yes777 showed [Qs Qh] and lost with two pair, Queens and FoursSeat 8: whackstacks folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 9: DaBearMan (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)yes777: lolDealer: Starting new hand: #10378238885Dealer: Toaster11 posts small blind 10Dealer: martinms posts big blind 20Dealer: Dealing Hole CardsDealer: DoinSublime foldsDealer: crazyeyebob calls 20Dealer: yes777 foldsDealer: whackstacks foldsDealer: DaBearMan calls 20Dealer: kRaZy Eyes95 foldsmartinms: its easier if u know howto do itDealer: Toaster11 calls 10Dealer: martinms checksDealer: Dealing Flop: [7h 6d 5d]Dealer: Toaster11 checksDealer: martinms checksDealer: crazyeyebob bets 20Dealer: DaBearMan calls 20Dealer: Toaster11 foldsDealer: martinms foldsDealer: Dealing Turn: [Ts]Dealer: crazyeyebob bets 20yes777: k6 nice callDealer: DaBearMan calls 20Dealer: Dealing River: [Kc]Dealer: crazyeyebob bets 20Dealer: DaBearMan foldsDealer: Game #10378238885: crazyeyebob wins pot (160)Dealer: crazyeyebob shows [Jd 9d] high card KingDealer: Starting new hand: #10378244115Dealer: martinms posts small blind 10Dealer: DoinSublime posts big blind 20Dealer: Dealing Hole CardsDealer: $ missey 321 foldsDealer: crazyeyebob foldsDealer: yes777 calls 20Dealer: whackstacks foldsDealer: DaBearMan foldsDealer: kRaZy Eyes95 foldsDealer: Toaster11 foldsDealer: martinms foldsDealer: DoinSublime checksDealer: Dealing Flop: [5c 2s 3h]martinms: tyDealer: DoinSublime checksDealer: yes777 checksDealer: Dealing Turn: [Td]Dealer: DoinSublime bets 25martinms: u gave me the implied oddsDealer: yes777 calls 25Dealer: Dealing River: [5h]Dealer: DoinSublime bets 65yes777: 200yes777: no i didntDealer: yes777, it's your turn. You have 15 seconds to actDealer: yes777 foldsDealer: Game #10378244115: DoinSublime wins pot (100)Dealer: DoinSublime doesn't show handDealer: Starting new hand: #10378250602Dealer: DoinSublime posts small blind 10Dealer: $ missey 321 posts big blind 20Dealer: Dealing Hole Cardsmartinms: in my opinion u did Dealer: crazyeyebob, it's your turn. You have 15 seconds to actDealer: crazyeyebob foldsDealer: yes777 raises 40 to 60Dealer: whackstacks foldsDealer: DaBearMan foldsDealer: kRaZy Eyes95 foldsDealer: Toaster11 calls 60yes777: ok koolmartinms: u basically laid me 1-8Dealer: martinms calls 60Dealer: DoinSublime foldsDealer: $ missey 321 foldsDealer: Dealing Flop: [4h Tc Ah]Dealer: yes777 checksDealer: Toaster11 checksDealer: martinms checksDealer: Dealing Turn: [8h]yes777: enough idiotDealer: yes777 checksDealer: Toaster11 bets 80Dealer: martinms foldsDealer: yes777 calls 80Dealer: Dealing River: [2c]Dealer: yes777 bets 600martinms: u really dont see my point?martinms: ok.This was after an argument where yes' K4soooted took out Q10 on Q10J9 board, and everyone started calling everyone else a donk.edit - having worked my way up through the micro ranks, the play in this tourney was as bad ---- if not worse ---- than any $1, $2, and $3 mtt I've ever played. I was at four tables, and every one of them had 5 just complete fucking idiots at it.

[timwakefield 68]

martinms: u basically laid me 1-8image removed (disgusting man) - Gov

[fitzinabox 0]

hey timmy, jus tthought i would tell u umm i like you

[XXEddie 0]

lolbumpaments