hblask 1 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 OK, I missed this thread the first time, so here goes:When I was young, my dad cut my hair with the electric clippers, so that's all I knew. I got to be an adult and go and get my hair cut at a Great Clips (or one of those). The stylist has a VERY large set. All through the haircut, they are rubbing up against me, and not subtly, either. On my shoulders, on my head, at one point she got directly behind me and pulled my head back between them and ran her fingers through my hair. Since I had never had my hair cut by a female before, I just assumed this is the way they did it. (Did I tell you I was a naive farm boy). So I couldn't wait for my next haircut to get that same treatment. 20+ years later, I'm still waiting, and thinking maybe, just maybe, I missed a chance there.In other non-accidental news, if you ever have a baby, women will want to hold him/her. The transfer is almost impossible to do without accidental touching, and if you act clumsy, you can get a pretty good feel in without any suspicion. Link to post Share on other sites
kidpkrJR 0 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Thread revival:I found this thread after wading through the unbelievable pic thread and thought how sad I was because I didn't have any accidental touching stories. Then I got to the haircut portion of the thread and a million memories came flooding in. How could I forget those? Thank you so much The story that reminded me of all the other great froderistic moments:Back when I was in junior high I had free reign to ride my bike wherever I could get to and back. This made it easy on my parents so they didn't have to tote me all over suburbia. Anyway, one of my stops would be the local SuperCuts. I took my 9 bux and waited my turn. I didn't realize how attractive the hairstylist was until I sat down in the chair. And, I sat down as I normally did, white knuckling the barber chair.I told her how I wanted it cut -- short but not so short that it stands up -- and she went to town. Well her arms were kind of short and when she went to cut the sides she would rub her pillow pants area on my hands. One time after doing this, she must have noticed the 13 year old kid enjoying it and said, "Boy, it doesn't take much to make it stand up." For the rest of the hair cut she was either rubbing on my hands or had her boobs in the back of my head.Awkwardness: 2Satisfaction: 10Say what you like about female pedophiles, but the only other thing I could have asked for was one of those hot teacher pedophiles. The rest is history. One of the great perverts was born that day.Alas, I never saw her again. The hairstylists were always changing, so it was never the same. you shoulda got her number..... you disappoint me Link to post Share on other sites
CrackofmyACE 1 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 speaking of accidental touchings...Anyone ever see that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm when Larry accidentally rubbed up on Jeff's mothers boob? He was holding a toaster for her so she could look at her reflection while trying on some new sunglasses. His hand rubbed up on one of her giant, saggy, old lady bosoms in the process but then didn't want to pull away real quick because it would be obvious.... so he just played dumb and left it there. Later that night (he was staying over after being thrown out of his own house), Jeff's mother complained and got him kicked out of there too.. "Hey man... ya gotta go. Ya touched my mother's breast. Ya gotta go." Hilarious. Link to post Share on other sites
showstopper24 0 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 speaking of accidental touchings...Anyone ever see that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm when Larry accidentally rubbed up on Jeff's mothers boob? He was holding a toaster for her so she could look at her reflection while trying on some new sunglasses. She his hand rubbed up on one of her giant, saggy, old lady bosoms in the process but then didn't want to pull away real quick because it would be obvious.... so he just played dumb and left it there. Later that night (he was staying over after being thrown out of his own house), Jeff's mother complained and got him kicked out of there too.. "Hey man... ya gotta go. Ya touched my mother's breast. Ya gotta go." Hilarious.its such a good show Link to post Share on other sites
theresa113 0 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 I want an accidential touching, js. Link to post Share on other sites
H_Factor73 2 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 you shoulda got her number..... you disappoint meYeah, I disappoint me too. You'll get used to it. I did. Link to post Share on other sites
CardWarfare 4 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 I want an accidential touching, js.:raises hand::brushes boob:Oh.. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
gkunit20 1 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I want an accidential touching, js.I honostly have no response. Link to post Share on other sites
CardWarfare 4 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I honostly hav da spellin skillz of a thyrd graider. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 My stomach hurts.I think I'll go get some Pepto. Link to post Share on other sites
Denny Crane 0 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 I touched another guy's balls in hebrew schoolFYP Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 FYPYeah. And let me tell you, Ira couldn't get enough of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Shimmering Wang 1 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 Yeah. And let me tell you, Ira couldn't get enough of it..... Link to post Share on other sites
CardWarfare 4 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 Ok, since this entire forum is on life support tonight, (What, did you all get lives or something? Pfft.) and I have nothing else to contribute anywhere else, I'll recount a series of awkward accidental touchings from my last work shift. There's a chick at work that kind of digs me. She's not hot, but not terrible either. I'd classify her as "relatively cute" with a nice rack. Anyway, between deliveries, the drivers at my job basically just do busy work. This includes, but is not limited to, making pizza boxes, cleaning, running food/dishes back and forth to and from the kitchen, getting ingredients, and occasionally helping out with the phones, when the counter girls are busy or otherwise occupied. Friday nights are generally pretty intense around dinner time, and the phones are ringing off the hook with incoming pick-up and delivery orders. There are 4 phones in the store, connected to two different lines. I was bringing some stuff back and forth, and heard the phone ringing. I figured one of the girls would answer it, but it wasn't being picked up. I answered it, took the order, and hung up. I was finishing up adding the total, and was holding the phone out, when it started ringing again. I heard the RelativelyCuteGirl approaching saying, "Gimme, I got it", so without looking, I extended my arm in the direction of her voice, and wound up planting my hand and the ringing phone right between her tits. I stopped writing, looked at my hand, looked at her, and went back to writing without saying or doing anything. My hand stayed there for a good 30 seconds afterward, because I think the girl was in shock that I didn't give her any reaction whatsoever. She kind of laughed awkwardly, took the phone and answered it.Less than an hour later, I was carrying a large stack of pizza boxes to the front to stock the shelves. When reaching up to put them on the obnoxiously hard to reach shelf, I heard someone walking behind me. Since I was still battling a stack of at least 15 pizza boxes, the high shelves, and my cursed ethnicity for making me short, I paid no attention. After getting the boxes up there, I turn around, and find my right shoulder firmly pressed between the same girl's hoo-hoos. This time I laugh, she laughs, and we continue on our business.The two of us, as well as one of the "managers" of the place closed the store that night, and after coming back from my last run of the night, I was cashing in my deliveries and mopping. I bring the mop back, and feel the end of the handle met with some rather soft resistance. As expected, RelativelyCuteGirl is doubled over, grabbing her chest in pain, but laughing hysterically. Chris, the manager, asks what happened, and I say that I just hit RelativelyCuteGirl in the tit with the end of the mop. When Chris inquires as to how/why this happened, I reply with, "Abuse turns her on". Laughter/giggling ensues. After the store is locked up, and we're all leaving, RelativelyCuteGirl turns to me and asks if I'm going to a mutual friend/co-worker's house. In reality I had no intention of going, but I replied, "Only if you promise to let me titty fuck you when we get there". To my surprise, she replied without missing a beat."Sure. That's probably one of the only part of you that hasn't been between my tits tonight." I stood in shock in the parking lot for a second, while she smiled and walked to her car. Link to post Share on other sites
Ouch-8s 4 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 After the store is locked up, and we're all leaving, RelativelyCuteGirl turns to me and asks if I'm going to a mutual friend/co-worker's house. In reality I had no intention of going, but I replied, "Only if you promise to let me titty **** you when we get there". To my surprise, she replied without missing a beat."Sure. That's probably one of the only part of you that hasn't been between my tits tonight." I stood in shock in the parking lot for a second, while she smiled and walked to her car.I don't understand what you're talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
CardWarfare 4 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 I don't understand what you're talking about.I don't understand if this was a joke, shot, or legitimate confusion.:remembers comment I left on your profile:...or a response to the comment I left on your profile? Link to post Share on other sites
Ouch-8s 4 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 I don't understand if this was a joke, shot, or legitimate confusion.:remembers comment I left on your profile:...or a response to the comment I left on your profile?someone will get it Link to post Share on other sites
CardWarfare 4 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 someone will get itGoddamn it. Link to post Share on other sites
IQCrash 1 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 So I'm getting a lapdance from this stripper and she's talking about something I'm not paying attention to, probably about putting herself through college or being a single mom. My girlfriend is on the seat next to me watching. The stripper makes a remark about how great my gf must be to approve of this and be here with me, and I respond by saying that if you ask her, she'll tell you it's because she used to be a stripper too so it's no big deal, but I personally think she's trying to pawn me off on somebody else. We all start laughing and before I know it, there's a boob making entry into my open, laughing mouth.The stripper blushes and pulls back, "I'm so sorry I have no depth perception without my glasses on." I tell her not to worry and that I use a similar excuse when trying to get anal and we move on.Satisfaction Scale: 6Awkwardness: 7 Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 A stripper was talking during a lap dance.Satisfaction Scale: 1Awkwardness: 9 Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 After the store is locked up, and we're all leaving, RelativelyCuteGirl turns to me and asks if I'm going to a mutual friend/co-worker's house. In reality I had no intention of going, but I replied, "Only if you promise to let me titty fuck you when we get there". To my surprise, she replied without missing a beat."Sure. That's probably one of the only part of you that hasn't been between my tits tonight."Doesn't this belong in the Penthouse Letters to the Editor thread? Link to post Share on other sites
CardWarfare 4 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 Doesn't this belong in the Penthouse Letters to the Editor thread?It would, if she were serious, and I did go with her to the friend's house.Neither happened to be the case, as I just went home that night after work. Link to post Share on other sites
thehidden 0 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 Yeah. And let me tell you, Ira couldn't get enough of it.hey i don't turn down a good ball rub... Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 It would, if she were serious, and I did go with her to the friend's house.Neither happened to be the case, as I just went home that night after work.Why didn't you go? I mean aside from the fact that your asian penis obviously would have zero impact during previously mentioned titty-fuck? Link to post Share on other sites
CardWarfare 4 Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Why didn't you go? I mean aside from the fact that your asian penis obviously would have zero impact during previously mentioned titty-fuck?I see what you did there.Several reasons actually. I knew she wasn't serious, and I almost certainly would get none if I went. Also, this kid's house is basically a tobacco bonanza, and since I'm a born-again non-smoker, I figured it would be a bad idea. Link to post Share on other sites
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