I Called In Sick Today

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

Not to be confused with Jigga, which is an alias of Shawn Carter

[Scroom 436]

Pretty much the only reason I want to be rich is so that I can afford to buy a sexual liaison with Lindsay Lohan, who apparently prostitutes herself to wealthy men, Arab Sheikhs, etc.

She was in one of my all time favorite movies, ever (A Prairie Home Companion) and I guy I know who has proximity to showbusiness tells a wild ass 2nd hand story he heard about her. I just learned that Roger Ebert tagged APHC as one of his "Great Movies". His (Ebert) genius was having all the higher order perspective that he did, but still being able to watch film as a human being. Most movie critics are intolerably pompous douchebags who view films as a vehicle to engage in their own self-indulgent, smug horseshit critique, based on a totally delusional view of their own insight. They're like the kids in junior high school who would buy my baggies of oregano and come back the next week to buy more. They are utterly oblivious to the experience itself so instead, they naively emphasize their own participation and involvement. This is why the fast-track to Oscar is playing a retard or some sort of mammie.

 

I was looking at how much an outdoor movie screen might cost, since there are no drive-in theaters around here anymore. I really, really miss them so ****ing much.... sitting in the car watching a movie, smoking weed, eating delicious snack bar food then dumping all the garbage by where the black family had been parked and telling the manager that they'd left a huge mess... If there is one thing that needs to make a comeback, its drive-ins.

[brvheart 1,752]

There are several drive-ins in the North Chicago area, but I doubt you want to drive an hour.

[Scroom 436]

I want my drive-ins like the old south side drive ins.

 

Drugs, movies and carloads full of copulating minorities.

[CobaltBlue 662]

I saw this a couple of days on FB but didn't want to be too aggressive of an Internet friend.

 

Congrats.

 

Also, how did you know who I was on there?

No worries on aggression. I have quite a few people on there that I only know online. And, I imagine I've met hundreds of people online before meeting them in person at this point.

 

Thanks.

 

As for how I knew, I think someone said your name, and I knew you were friends on there with Napa, so I searched his friend list.

[CobaltBlue 662]

I'm glad somebody made that joke.

 

Do we have to explain to SA what a jigger is, too?

[Scroom 436]

Before Katrina I used to play cards around the MS Gulf Coast. These were the real juicy years when casinos were scrapping huge sections of slots to make floor space for the newly in-demand poker tables. Every bum alive had just finished Supersystem. Tourneys were so insanely +ev it was hard to resist, were it not for the cash games full of paycheck-hoboes that were even better. I usually stayed at the Imperial Palace because the buffet was good and the games were always full of losers from the airforce base which was nearby, but still not too far away from Bay St Louis where I could go see Pete Fountain at Casino Magic where he held down a permanent gig.

 

Casino Magic, along with the entirety of everything else, got wiped out during Katrina.

 

I'd lag up a couple grand and head west on 90, across the bridge and into BSL. If it was daytime, I'd always hit this little local joint that served unreal Po Boys, that was right as you crossed the bridge (both it and the bridge bought it in Katrina), then wander around the Bay St Louis historic district. Pete went on around 7. Never once was anyone ever there who was obviously under the age of 60. So, Pete was kind of the musical equivalent of the Roy Rogers Museum; something everyone loves and has immense fondness for but with each passing year, the number of people who cared enough to stop was less and less. They finally gave him the hook in 2010.

 

Anyway, fairly sure it was summer of 05 (a couple months before Katrina came ashore), I was watching Pete, there were maybe 10 other people there, all qualified for social security. Started drinking vodka/crans like they were water, got a few too many in me. I was dressed like a homeless man; ripped t-sort, ripped hoodie, ripped sweat pants but Mephistos. Stumbled up to Pete Fountain after his set, offered to buy his clarinet. He said (with his very distinct New Orleans accent) "You come back wit' a couple-a, maybe few thousan' dollas an; you gotta deal", then walked off.

 

I had about 8k in my pocket but by the time I realized the opportunity that had just presented itself, he was gone.

 

One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't follow through and actually buy his ****ing clarinet.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Yeah, that's great and all, but lets get back to this second hand story about Lindsey Lohan

 

Not sure how old she was, but she was so hot in Mean Girls.

 

I've heard about the Saudi prostitution stuff. I'd bet that goes on more than we think

 

What a life, the life of a Saudi prince that has palaces, cars and whores.

[mrfritz 892]

i second the second hand story.

[Iphonenkinder 558]

LL looks pretty busted now. I wonder what Culkin charges?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Kieran?

[Iphonenkinder 558]

I'm assuming there's a family rate.

[Essay21 2,385]

There is.

 

Waiting on my boss t get here so we can all go to lunch. I dont wanna,hear the plane had to make an emergency landing, i want my chicken sandwich.

[Scroom 436]

 

http://tuvatv.ru/video/12S26B93R4G1/Dustin-Poirier-vs-Conor-McGregor

[brvheart 1,752]

Wrong thread, Scram.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Yeah, and where's our fckin story?

[Tiltinagain 973]

Some observations on South Carolina.

 

1. The people here are nice as could be.

 

2. There are many, many very good looking ladies here.

 

3. I have reconfirmed that said ladies probably appear much better looking than they are after hearing that southern accent.

 

4. The food here is very good.

 

5. People here drink like fish.

 

There's a legal moon shine distillary across from the hotel so a few of us went over and did their tasting. You get a half shot of 6 different shines for $4 plus you get to keep the shot glass. Adrianne gave us the run down.

 

 

Apparently they've won several awards for their booze

 

 

Then had some Shrimp and Crab Gumbo as a starter at dinner

 

[Napa Lite 3,278]

*Unless you're black

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

looks like a bowel of vomit with a lump of white rice in it.

[Tiltinagain 973]

looks like a bowel of vomit with a lump of white rice in it.

 

Don't talk to me you small town, fly over state living no culture puke.

[Tiltinagain 973]

*Unless you're black

 

Truth. We were talking about that cop shooting the guy in the back at dinner. Some blatant crazy stupid shit.

 

When are people going to realize that EVERYONE has a still and/or video camera on them at all times so you aren't going to get away with any of the scandalous shitin public that used to be a he said she said deal? I have family that are cops and give them the benefit of the doubt but that dude should have never been made a cop.

[frautotenkinder 1,025]

I'd like to make a late-to-the-party offering to the desk photo game.

 

 

That's would be facing me--those animals are months of the year. It's supposed to be a calendar, and I just love it.

 

Here's a not very good photo of my window.

 

 

I think I was going for perspective. I don't like the photo, I can see two palm trees, but you'll have to take my word for it.

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

 

 

Don't talk to me you small town, fly over state living no culture puke.

 

That's Fly-Over-State-Living-No-Culture-Puke, Esquire.

[hank213 1,823]

That second pic....Are you Donette Draper?

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

frau's is the desk and office of a person who isn't hating life enough